It's a Doggy Dog World

by Tommy Greenwald

  Eric shook his head. “I have no idea. All I know is that one minute he was running right next to me, and the next, he was on the ground, screaming in pain.”

  Jeremy Vandroff looked scared. “That’s right near where I fell.”

  I suddenly got a really bad feeling in my stomach. It was scary enough that kids were getting hurt in games. But in practice?!?

  Coach Knight stood up. “Okay, boys, bring it in! Gather around!” We formed a tight circle around him. “That’s enough for today. Let’s knock off a little early, so everyone can go home and get some rest. We all know this is a lousy field, but the good news is we’re playing on the high school field tomorrow, so no more bad surprises.” He looked down at his son, who was still sitting on the ground, putting ice on his ankle. Boy, Chad was a tough kid. If it had been me, I’d be bawling my eyes out.

  “We’re going to try to get Chad ready for tomorrow’s game,” Coach continued. “If he can play, he will. But if he can’t, I don’t want the rest of you to hang your heads. We can beat LaxMax, with or without Chad! I mean it! Victory on three!”

  He counted “One, two, three,” and we all screamed “Victory!”

  After practice I walked up to the parking lot, where I saw Baxter sitting on a bench, staring into space.

  “See?” I said to him. “Two more kids getting hurt. And in practice!”

  “All I know is we’re going to get killed tomorrow if Chad can’t play,” Baxter said. “We may as well not even show up.”

  I stared at him. “Hold on a second. Aren’t you the one who told me that I had to come to practice, that we were a team, and quitters were losers?”

  “That was before Chad got hurt,” he said.

  “We stick together, no matter what!”

  Baxter laughed sadly. “Whatever.”

  I didn’t really have anything to say to that, so we sat there quietly, waiting for our rides.

  It was probably about five more minutes, but it felt like an hour.

  IT WAS THE LAST NIGHT OF OBEDIENCE TRAINING, so my parents decided to come with me.

  “Are they planning anything special?” my mom asked in the car.

  I stared out the window. “I think there’s, like, a graduation ceremony or something.”

  “That sounds like fun!”

  “Whatever.”

  “Someone’s in a mood,” said my dad, glancing back at me.

  I sighed. He was right, I was in a mood, and it wasn’t a very good one. My gang was disbanded, my dog was just like any dog, and we were going to get killed by LaxMax the very next day. Can you blame me?

  My mom turned the radio down. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Not really.” I looked over at Abby, calmly licking her paws. She looked like she didn’t have a care in the world. Good for her!

  FACT: Sometimes I wish I were a dog.

  As we parked the car, my dad said, “Try to cheer up and have some fun!”

  “Think of how far Abby has come,” my mom added. “The entire shoe community can finally breathe a sigh of relief.”

  I tried to laugh, but it didn’t work.

  Inside the shelter, Shep came over to greet us. “Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Bishop,” he said to my parents. “Jimmy has really done a great job with Abby. She’s, like, the mellowest dog in the world now. She’s practically unrecognizable.”

  Yeah, that’s the problem, I said to myself.

  While my parents were chatting with some of the other dog owners, Shep pulled me aside. “Hey, dude. I know you’re not loving this new version of your dog. But I’ve been around dogs a long time, and trust me, they are who they are.”

  I looked at him. “What does that mean?”

  He winked. “It means Abby will always be Abby.”

  Before I could even think about what that meant, Shep clapped his hands together. “Okay, people! It’s time for the Big Kahuna. The last roundup! The final exam!”

  Everyone started murmuring with excitement as we all formed a circle and Shep began putting each dog through their paces.

  “Sit.”

  “Paw.”

  “Fetch.”

  “Drag and drop.”

  “Bury the bone.”

  “Weave.” (That’s where the dog walks in between your legs three times.)

  “Circle.” (That’s where the dog walks around their owner three times.)

  “Leave it.” (That’s where Shep puts a biscuit on the floor but the dog doesn’t move.)

  “Take it.” (That’s where the dog is allowed to eat the biscuit.)

  “Follow your star.”

  “Rest.”

  “Lie down.”

  “Stand up.”

  Then, for the last trick—no wait, Shep says they’re not tricks, they’re “canine enrichment exercises”—he put a ball next to a wall with four holes in it, and the dogs were supposed to nudge the ball through the first hole, run around the other side to put the ball back through the second hole, and do the same thing again for the third and fourth holes. Then the dog nudges the ball back to Shep.

  After each dog did all the exercises correctly, Shep clipped a blue dog tag onto their collar and said, “Congratulations. You are now a graduate of the Northport ARF’s Dandy Dog Program—and an ARFULLY good dog!” And everyone cheered while the dogs proudly wagged their tails.

  Shep worked his way around the circle and got through most of the dogs—there were Stella, Bailey, Theo, Woody, and two dogs whose names I forgot—and then walked up to Abby. So far, all the dogs had passed with flying colors.

  “Well, hello there, missy,” Shep said to Abby. “Are you ready to strut your stuff?”

  Abby stared up at him, completely still. She looked like the most obedient dog in the world. And even though I liked her better the way she was before, I still felt pretty proud.

  “Sit.”

  “Paw.”

  “Fetch.”

  “Weave.”

  “Circle.”

  Abby was halfway through her second circle when the door opened. In came Thor and Mr. Swab.

  “Sorry we’re late,” Mr. Swab told Shep. “A lot going on. Big day tomorrow.”

  “What’s tomorrow?” I asked, but he’d already turned to shake hands with my parents. “Hello there. Exciting night, huh? May the best dog win.”

  “Uh, I don’t think it’s a competition,” my mom answered.

  “Everything is a competition,” Mr. Swab said. “It’s a dog-eat-dog world, haven’t you heard? Especially in here!” He laughed at his own joke.

  Thor and Abby had a happy reunion, nipping and playing and barking. Mr. Swab bent down to pet Abby. Then Thor romped around saying hi to all the dogs, and as usual I got a little jealous over how high-spirited he was, compared to my mellow little girl.

  “How are you tonight, little pooch?” Mr. Swab said to Abby. “Your usual perfect self?”

  And that’s the moment I saw something I hadn’t seen in a very long time.

  Abby’s fangs.

  She gave out a quiet little growl, and I saw the fangs flash.

  “Abby!” I said. After all these weeks of perfect (or perfectly boring) behavior, the last thing I needed was for her to blow it at the graduation, in front of my parents.

  At first, I was pretty sure that I was the only one who noticed the growl and the fangs, but I was wrong.

  Thor did too.

  FACT: Dogs are very protective of their owners. And the same goes for the other way around.

  Thor came over, the hair on his back sticking straight up. He sniffed Abby—don’t try anything—and Abby backed away.

  Mr. Swab chuckled. “Well, there you go. Seems like your dog knows a size difference when she sees one.”

  I nodded. “It wouldn’t be a fair fight, that’s for sure.”

  “Yup. Better tell your little dog there to keep your distance!” Mr. Swab gave me a smack on the back for emphasis.

  Well, maybe there was something Abby didn’t like about th
at smack, because that was all it took.

  “AWOOOO!” Abby howled at the top of her lungs. Then she started running around in a circle, making strange noises, and barking her head off at Mr. Swab.

  “Abby, what are you doing?” I cried.

  “There’s something really wrong with your dog,” said Mr. Swab, looking smug because someone else’s dog was causing trouble for once. “Guess she’s not a straight-A student after all!”

  My parents and I tried to grab Abby, but she was too quick.

  “It’s like her tail is on fire,” said Shep, who looked kind of amused by the whole thing.

  Finally, as Abby jumped out of my reach, Mr. Swab grabbed her from behind. She turned around, saw who was holding her, and went full fang.

  “GRRRRGGHHH!”

  Abby looked like she was just about to chomp on Mr. Swab’s nose when he had the good sense to drop her. I snatched her up and clipped the leash on her collar. She was still all wound up, panting and growling.

  “ABBY, THAT’S ENOUGH!” I hollered.

  “That dog is crazy!” exclaimed Mr. Swab, scrambling out of the way. “She almost took my face off! She needs to be locked up!”

  “Oh, for crying out loud,” Shep said. But he did look a little upset by Abby’s behavior. As did everyone else.

  Thor, meanwhile, decided to show Abby what a real growl was like, and since he weighed about a hundred pounds more than Abby, he had a good point.

  “GRRRRGGGHH!”

  This time, Abby didn’t back down at all. Abby and Thor just stared at each other, waiting for the other to make the first move.

  “Sit!” I hollered.

  “Stay!” my dad hollered.

  “Follow your star!” Shep hollered, for no apparent reason.

  As Mr. Swab pulled Thor away, I noticed something flash off his chest. At first, I couldn’t quite tell what it was, but then I saw it, clear as day.

  “That’s it!” I announced. “Look!”

  “What’s it?” my mom said.

  I pointed at Mr. Swab’s chest. “He’s wearing a cross around his neck!”

  Everyone stared at me as if I had two heads.

  “So what?” said my dad sensibly.

  “Everyone knows that a cross—” But I stopped myself. I was about to say Everyone knows that a cross is the one thing besides garlic that a vampire hates, but then I realized, That would make me seem like a crazy person, even to myself. Abby hasn’t done anything vampire-ish since, like, forever.

  “What about a cross?” asked my dad.

  I shook my head. “Nothing.”

  FACT: Sometimes it’s better to keep your vampirical thoughts to yourself.

  Mr. Swab, meanwhile, was walking Thor to the door. “You better fail that dog, Shep!” he said, pointing at Abby.

  Shep rolled his eyes. “There are no grades in this class.”

  “I’m so sorry,” my mom kept saying to anyone who would listen. “Abby is a little unpredictable.”

  “No, she’s not!” I protested. “She’s gotten completely predictable! Too predictable!”

  Shep shook his head. “Actually, the one thing predictable about dogs is that they’re never predictable.”

  “It’s like we’re right back at square one,” my dad said, sounding pretty mad. “We can’t have a dog that might fly off the handle at any time, for absolutely no reason. It’s too dangerous. We could get sued, for crying out loud!”

  My mom sighed. “Let’s go,” she said. “We’ll talk about it more at home.”

  As we walked to the parking lot, I wanted to scream. But instead, I just looked down at Abby.

  “Why did you have to do that?” I asked her. “I know you hate crosses, but so what? You’re making it really, really hard on me, you know that?”

  Abby didn’t answer.

  Instead, she weaved through my legs perfectly, the whole way to the car.

  SO, AS IT TURNS OUT, a little excitement and one cross was all it took.

  Abby was back to her old self.

  The first thing she did when she got home was jump into the coffin-looking bed that Mrs. Cragg had given her. She’d never even gone near it before! But that night, she snuggled right in.

  Then, while Misty was doing homework (but really mostly texting Jarrod) in the TV room, Abby started staring out the window, on high alert, scanning the neighborhood for anything suspicious.

  “What’s she looking for?” Misty asked.

  “Bad guys,” I answered. Misty rolled her eyes, but I ignored her.

  That was the good news.

  The bad news was, my parents and I were having another one of those talks.

  “We’ve tried, Jimmy,” said my mom. “We really have.”

  “I want to keep her just as much as you do,” said my dad. “But at a certain point, you have to wonder if this is really the place for her.”

  My mom nodded in agreement. “Maybe she needs a home where she can run free outside all day long, away from people and other things that might get her in trouble.”

  I just looked back at them. I know they were expecting me to put up a fight, just like always, but this time, I was silent. I just didn’t have it in me, I guess. And besides, what was I going to say? Abby randomly went a little crazy, just because some guy who happened to have an annoying personality was wearing a cross around his neck? That wasn’t going to work, vampire or no vampire.

  “Can I just ask one thing?” I said finally.

  My mom smiled. “Sure, honey.”

  “Can Abby come to the game tomorrow night? It’s the championship, and I want her there for luck. Then we can figure out what to do after it’s over. Okay?”

  My parents looked at each other. My mom’s eyes were saying no, but my dad’s eyes were saying yes. Luckily, my dad’s eyes won.

  “Fine,” he said. “But she stays on her leash the whole time.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief. For some reason, I had a weird feeling that as long as Abby could come to the game, everything would work out okay.

  Later that night, I opened the window before I went to bed, even though Abby hadn’t gone for a night walk for weeks. I’d barely had the window open for a second before Abby darted through.

  Things were back to normal!

  In other words, totally abnormal.

  THE NEXT DAY AT LUNCH, I went looking for the other CrimeBiters, since we didn’t usually sit together anymore.

  I found Irwin first. “Just thought you might want to know that Abby is back to her old self,” I told him.

  “Okay,” Irwin said, with a face that said, Why would you think I’d care?

  But then I added, “I’m going to go find Daisy, since she loves Abby and I think she might want to know.”

  Which made Irwin stand up and say, “I’ll come with you.”

  FACT: Old habits die hard. Or—as in the case of Irwin making sure I don’t ever have a conversation with Daisy without him—they never die at all.

  The two of us went over to Daisy’s table. She was sitting with Mara Lloyd and some little kid I didn’t recognize.

  “Hey!” Daisy said. “This is Devon. He’s in second grade, and he and Mara have become friends.”

  I looked at Devon, then at Mara. “Don’t tell me he’s your secret admirer.”

  “Yes!” Mara said happily. “Isn’t it adorable? We found him thanks to Daisy and Irwin! Your gang is awesome. If you guys ever get back together, I totally want to join!”

  Devon was sitting there, slurping his chocolate milk, gazing at Mara. This little boy was the cause of all our arguments? This was the kid who broke up the CrimeBiters?

  I almost couldn’t believe it.

  “Well, that’s great,” I said, looking at Mara. “I hope you two will be very happy together.” I turned back to Daisy. “Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that Abby is back to her old self.”

  “Hurray!” Daisy said. Then she looked across the cafeteria. “Did you tell Irwin and Baxter?”

>   “Just Irwin so far,” I said.

  “I think you should tell Baxter too,” Daisy said. “Irwin and I will come with you.”

  I tried to play it casual, even though my heart was racing. “Fine.”

  The three of us walked over to Baxter’s table. “Abby is back to her old self,” I told him.

  “That’s great,” Baxter said.

  We all looked at each other for a minute, awkwardly. No one said anything. But still, we were all together. It was a start, at least.

  Finally, Irwin said, “Exactly what do you mean, back to her old self?”

  “She showed her fangs last night and went on a night patrol.”

  They looked at me blankly.

  “She almost bit Mr. Swab,” I added. “The guy who takes his dog to the same obedience class I go to.”

  “Is he a bad person?” said Daisy. “Did he deserve to get bitten?”

  Oh right, that.

  “Uh …” I began, trying to think of what to say. “Well, he’s really annoying sometimes.”

  “Yeah, that doesn’t count,” Baxter said. The three of them stared at me.

  “That’s not the point!” I said. “The point is, Abby is back! I feel like it’s a sign that the gang should get back together too, right? Especially since lacrosse season ends after tonight’s game!”

  “Abby can’t just bite people,” Baxter said.

  “I know!” I said. “That’s why we need to meet! My parents are thinking about taking her back to the shelter! Again!”

  “That stinks,” Daisy said.

  Irwin finally nodded. “Okay, fine. Maybe we can meet at my house after the game and plan our next move. Figure out how Jimmy can keep Abby.”

  “I’m in,” Baxter said.

  “Thanks, you guys,” I said, relieved.

  We all turned to Daisy.

  “I can’t.”

  I dropped a fork I didn’t realize I’d been holding.

  She looked a little embarrassed. “I told Mara I’d go to the movies with her tonight.”

  My heart started to race. In the back of my mind, I’d always wondered why Daisy was a CrimeBiter. It was only a matter of time before she found other people that she wanted to hang around with more than us. But now that it had officially happened, I wasn’t quite sure how to react.