The Story of Charlie Mullins

by Jim Wygand

  He got back into his car and drove down to the Rexall drugstore. He parked on the street where his vehicle could be easily seen and walked into the store. He walked around for a while until the manager saw him and said, “Hi Charlie, how ya’ doin’?”

  “Fine Bert, and you? I just dropped in to pick up some after shave.” Charlie picked up a bottle of Aqua Velva and made his way to the cashier. He paid with a fifty dollar bill so the cashier would have to scrape around for change and would remember that he had been there.

  He left the drugstore and drove to the supermarket. He walked around the aisles slowly picking up some purchases. A few people were in the supermarket and one of them was Diane Simms. He made sure he walked by her and said, “Hi, Diane. How’s Bob?”

  Diane looked a bit flustered remembering Charlie’s conversation with her husband at softball practice but quickly recovered and said, “Hi Charlie. Getting some groceries? Bob’s fine, thanks. Wish I had time to talk, but I have to run. See ya’.” Charlie smiled inwardly at Diane’s discomfort. He could not have cared less about talking to her. He was satisfied that if anybody asked about his whereabouts Diane would be glad to say she knew – she saw him at the supermarket.

  Satisfied that he had provided enough evidence that he was in town, he moved to the checkout counter. There, he pretended to fumble for his money, not remembering which pocket it was in. The checkout girl had to wait until he exclaimed, “Oh, here it is. I’m sorry. I couldn’t remember where I put my cash when I left the drug store.” He paid for his groceries and left.

  He drove slowly home, again hoping that any busybodies on the street would see him. Shoreville was almost shut down because everyone in the town ate dinner at practically the same time. He would drive home, check the street, pull the car into the garage, and after a few minutes leave for Gina’s place.

  He decided to use I-295 on the Jersey side just to vary his route. He checked for surveillance along his route. The coast appeared clear so he headed toward Camden and then across to Philly.

  He arrived to Gina’s building about 45 minutes later, took the elevator up to her apartment and let himself in with the key. He had a couple of bags of groceries with him. Gina was in the kitchen making a salad when he walked in and kissed her. “Mmmmm, that’s nice. I hope that’s Charlie Mullins behind me.”

  “Smart aleck!” Charlie replied and smacked her behind lightly.

  Gina turned around and saw the bags from the supermarket on the kitchen counter. “What’s this Charlie? You bringing your own food into my apartment? Am I not feeding you well?”

  Charlie laughed, “No, sweets, this is part of my scheme to outwit the nitwits. I bought some Aqua Velva at the drug store…”

  “Oh my God, you’ve abandoned Armani already?”

  “No, Gina. I went into the drug store, picked up a bottle of what I always used to buy and gave the checkout girl a fifty dollar bill. She had to fumble around for change. I spoke to the manager and then left for the supermarket. I was lucky there because I ran into one of the town’s most active gossips – one of the women who had followed me. She was embarrassed to see me after I had talked to her husband so she will probably tell somebody that she almost fell through the floor, et cetera. I took my time going through the checkout counter, looking around for my money like I had forgotten what pocket it was in. If anybody says they hadn’t seen Charlie Mullins on Monday night I have witnesses.”

  “Gotcha, Charlie”, Gina looked into the bags from the supermarket. “Now what do we do with the cans of beef stew and chili? We can use the toilet paper and the napkins,” she laughed, “but I’m not big on canned stew and chili. And sin of sins, Charlie, frozen lasagna? Frozen lasagna in Gina Ferrelli’s place!! My God, who would have thought it?” Gina was laughing almost hysterically. “You certainly created a plausible case for yourself, Charlie. I guess I’ll give the canned stuff to the church. The frozen stuff I’m not so sure about. I refuse to throw food away so I will ask Father Molina if he can use it or give it away. He’ll probably eat it himself, poor guy.”

  Charlie broke out laughing, “Well, I had to buy the stuff I normally buy. Can you imagine if Diane Simms had seen my shopping cart with truffles, fancy chocolates, and the like? They’re used to seeing me buy Gatorade, hot dogs, and canned or frozen food.”

  “Gina, I also worked out a schedule for the week that will guarantee that I am seen at my haunts, the bowling alley, and at softball practice. With the timers turning the lights on and off, I can probably keep those nosy women convinced that I’m following my regular routines. Every spy needs to create a legend, you know.”

  “Spy? Legend? Oh Charlie, where did you ever pick up those ideas?” Gina laughed again.

  “Well, I do read you know. Before I met you and my life was boring, I read a lot of escapist literature, you know, spy stories and detective novels. I just thought I would use some of the jargon to impress you.” Charlie laughed.

  “You did”, laughed Gina “you’re a regular James Bond!”

  “Oh no, Gina, not a James Bond, he was a terrible spy. Every time he showed up people got killed and everybody knew he was double-o-seven. No, my dear, I want to be George Smiley, the unobtrusive and unlikely spy. The guy who blends into the background, that people would confuse with an accountant or a professor. I know my spy stuff!” he laughed heartily. “For your information, they call it ‘tradecraft’.”

  “Well, aren’t you the clever one? I sure hope it works. At least you seem to be up on the terminology.” They both laughed and headed for the living room.

  “You want to open a bottle of wine? I saw you making a salad so maybe we could just have some salad and a glass of wine. It’s late anyway and I’m a little tired from all my spy stuff. That OK?”

  “Sure Charlie, but let’s go out tomorrow night. I would really love some seafood.”

  “You’re on!”

  They had their light dinner, watched a little TV and then went to bed. Both Charlie and Gina were in a light mood and they laughed about Charlie’s “tradecraft”.

  XXII

  The following day Charlie left for Wilmington from Gina’s apartment. Although he didn’t know it, his ruse had worked. Diane Simms and Sharon Gallagher had gone to their aerobics class at the YMCA in Shoreville and Diane was telling Sharon that she saw Charlie at the Acme supermarket. “God, Sharon, I felt like smacking his face after what he said to Bob. Then I thought I was going to fall through the floor from embarrassment. He didn’t say anything at all about our having followed him, but I knew he was thinking about it. It was really uncomfortable. I just said ‘Hi’ and then moved on as quickly as I could. Lucky for me, he was heading for the checkout counter anyway.” The two of them talked about Charlie for a couple more minutes then moved on to badmouth some of the other people they knew in Shoreville. Charlie’s plan had held up for at least one day.

  * * * * *

  Charlie had two meetings scheduled for that day. The first was with Bill Miller of the Engineering Department. Bill had worked on his budget review over the weekend and met with Charlie to go over the revisions Charlie suggested. “I really hate having to face that guy, Charlie”, Miller had said “he just nitpicks at every goddamned thing. He’s a real pain in the butt.”

  “I know, Bill,” Charlie responded, “but you know that’s really his job. You guys in the operating departments are always optimistic – you’re supposed to be, but Fred’s job is to question your assumptions. He doesn’t like to waste company money.”

  “I don’t either Charlie. It’s not what he says. It’s how he says it. He just tries to lord it over you and make you look stupid. Nobody here is stupid!”

  “Yeah, even Fred knows that. It’s just his way. But I think you’ve got a nice tight budget there. Fred will give you some grief just to make his point but he’ll approve this one. Don’t worry.”

  “Well, thanks for your help, Charlie. Without you around here, I think we would all gang up and stab that bastard
to death like they whacked Julius Caesar.”

  Charlie laughed, “No need, Bill. This one’s in the bag. Trust me.”

  Bill Miller left Charlie’s office with a lot more confidence than he had when he went in.

  Fred Armstrong, head of the steel shot division invited Charlie for lunch. Charlie met him at a local restaurant where they discussed Fred’s budget proposal. Steel shot was used by industrial companies to clean big machines. Fred wanted to make sure that he had read the market right. He was afraid that Perkins might question his assumptions and blow his budget to bits. He mimicked Bill Miller’s conversation. “Charlie thanks for meeting me here. I really want that s-o-b to stay off my back. You know, we have a service component in our division. We not only supply the steel shot, we will go in and clean machines for our clients. It’s tough work. Perkins doesn’t appreciate how difficult it is and how much we have to pay people to do that kind of work. He always jumps on the labor costs.”

  “If you notice, Fred, I worked on your revenue projections a bit by improving your volume. If you can make that volume while holding the line on your costs, Perkins won’t have a lot to bitch about. Your bottom line is what counts and you show improvement over last quarter so if he gets on your ass, go immediately to that number. He won’t be in a position to discuss volume projections with you. You are the guy who knows the business.”

  After some coaching by Charlie to reduce Fred Armstrong’s anxiety, Fred said, “Thanks, Charlie. I feel better about the numbers now.” They paid their bill and left the restaurant.

  Back at the office, Charlie had several voice mails of the other department heads. He called each one and scheduled their meetings. By the time he finished setting up all the meetings, it was five-o-clock and he headed out to the parking lot and Gina’s place.

  Gina was waiting for him in a navy blue wrap around dress that showed a lot of leg when she sat down and crossed her legs. “Wow, don’t you look terrific!”

  “Charlie, I’ll call Johnny at the trattoria and ask him to use his juice to make a reservation at Bookbinder’s. It’s the best seafood in the world and I am really in the mood for fish.”

  “That’s great, sweets. Can we have a drink before we go?”

  “Sure, but are you going to drive there?”

  “No, let’s take a cab. That way we can have a drink here, one there if we want to, and get a bottle of wine.”

  “OK, sweetheart, you’re quite a rummy. Must be your Irish blood!”

  “Ah ah, Gina, no ethnic slurs please.”

  “That’s not a slur, Charlie, it’s a compliment!” and she laughed.

  Charlie went to the liquor cabinet and got out the fixings for a manhattan and a vodka dry martini. He prepared Gina’s manhattan first and dropped two cherries into it. He had put his martini glass in the freezer while he was preparing Gina’s drink. It was frosted when he took it from the freezer and he fixed his favorite double-dry martini. He grabbed a small serving tray and brought the drinks into the living room. “Here you are my dear, I hope you like it.”

  “You remembered that I hate manhattans but love cherries, Charlie”, Gina laughed, “how nice!” She took a sip of the manhattan and feigned a dramatic fainting spell, “Why this is the most fantastic manhattan I have ever had in my life!” she exclaimed.

  “Gina, give me a break. How is it really?”

  “It’s great, Charlie, really. You’re an approved barman.”

  Charlie clinked his glass against Gina’s and said, “To the spy profession and all that it has taught me!”

  “Salute”, Gina responded.

  Gina called first to the trattoria and talked to Johnny. “The fix is in, Charlie.”

  “Gina, where do you get that stuff – ‘the fix is in’ and asking Johnny to use his ‘juice’?”

  “Well, the FBI thought I was a moll when I was only nine years old. I had to have learned something, right?” Gina giggled. “Now I’ll call a cab and we can go to the restaurant.”

  That was the night that Bill Gallagher swore he saw Charlie and Gina leaving Bookbinder’s.

  Charlie and Gina arrived to the restaurant at 8:30 and the headwaiter had an excellent table waiting for them. Charlie noticed that every man in the restaurant was looking at Gina as she entered the restaurant. A number of wives looked like they felt like dumping hot oyster stew into their husbands’ laps. He followed Gina to the table watching the gentle sway of her hips while saying to himself, “Sorry guys, she’s mine, all mine!”

  When they sat down and Gina crossed her legs, her wrap-around dress fell away and a lot of very attractive leg was exposed. Charlie thought that any moment some wives were going to push a plate of food in their husbands’ faces. Charlie himself was looking longingly at her. “Never seen legs before, Mullins?” Gina teased.

  “Like those? No ma’am. Never!” Gina laughed easily.

  Charlie asked Gina if she wanted another drink and she said she would prefer some wine. Charlie ordered a California red in spite of the fact that they were going to eat fish. “Do you mind, Gina? Nobody follows that rule about white wine with fish anymore. Besides, Bookbinder’s has an excellent selection of California reds.”

  “I actually prefer red, Charlie. Go for it!”

  “Ah what an easy date I have tonight. I can’t make a mistake!”

  He told the waiter to bring a glass of the house white while the red was allowed to “breathe”.

  “Gina, would you like to start with some fresh oysters?”

  “You sure you can behave yourself after a plate of oysters, Charlie?”

  “Not really. Especially with that beautiful leg of yours exposed. If you see me starting to pull the tablecloth off the table, you had better run!”

  Gina blushed, “You think the dress is too much or maybe too little, Charlie?”

  “Oh no, not at all, it gets my hormones flowing and that can’t be bad. I’ll try to control myself.”

  Gina laughed, “Are you always going to be this horny, Charlie?”

  “As long as you keep provoking, yes.”

  Charlie ordered Oysters Rockefeller for an appetizer. For the main course Gina decided on the sea-scallops with a carrot sauce and Charlie went light with a grilled filet of sole and a boiled potato. The meal was perfect and they made small talk, looked at each other like a couple in love, and just enjoyed a relaxing evening.

  Seven blocks away at the Walnut Street Theater, Bill and Sharon Gallagher were sitting through a musical. When the curtain closed for the last time they went to their car to drive home. “Bill, let’s drive through the old city before we go back to I-95. I love to see the old buildings.” Bill left the parking lot and drove northward for a few blocks, turned east on Market Street and then South on 2nd Street. He would then turn back up Walnut, circle the block again and drive home. The path would take him by Bookbinder’s. As he was turning on Walnut he suddenly saw who he thought was Charlie Mullins coming out of Bookbinder’s. “Sharon! Look quick! Is that Charlie Mullins coming out of Bookbinder’s? Quick, the guy holding the cab door open, I swear it’s Charlie!”

  “Damn, Bill, it is Charlie! Who’s that girl with him? She looks like she could be his daughter! We’ve caught him, Bill, we’ve caught him!”

  “Whoa, Sharon, we’re not trying to catch anybody. I just thought I saw Charlie, that’s all. Don’t start with the curiosity again, please!”

  “You didn’t think you saw Charlie, Bill. You saw him. That was Charlie. By God, it was him. Wait until I tell Diane about this! Who is that girl? I’ve got to find out. You think Charlie has something going? She looks like she has money. That’s an expensive dress she’s wearing! You think Charlie bought it for her? Naah, Charlie wouldn’t know how to buy a dress.”

  “Jesus Sharon, cool it! If I thought you were going to go berserk I wouldn’t have said anything. Don’t start doing something stupid again.”

  “Oh, stifle it, Bill. I’m not going to do anything,” Sharon lied, “but I do feel l
ike a reporter that has just got a ‘scoop’.”

  Charlie had no idea that he had been seen or that the structure of his Shoreville ruse might be knocked down by the accidental ‘sighting’ by the Gallaghers.

  Wednesday morning after Bill had gone to work, Sharon called Diane Simms. “Diane, you are not going to believe this. Last night Bill and I went to Philly to see a play at the Walnut Street Theater. I asked him to drive through the old part of the city on the way out to I-95 and who do you think we saw coming out of Bookbinder’s? Charlie Mullins, Diane. It was Charlie and he was with a woman – no, a girl – who looked like she could have been his daughter! She was pretty, but clearly too young for Charlie Mullins!”

  Diane listened to Sharon and then said, “I don’t think it was Charlie, Sharon. I drove by his place last night and the lights were on. From the reflections on the curtains it looked like he was watching television. You must have seen someone else that looked like him.”

  “Diane, I know Charlie when I see him. It was Charlie, believe me. I am sure of it and so is Bill. It was him and he had a girl with him. I would swear on it!”

  “Sharon, why would the lights be on in his house if he wasn’t home? C’mon. It wasn’t Charlie. It couldn’t have been.”

  “I’m telling you it was him, Diane. And I’m going to prove it. I’m going to catch him yet and maybe even take a picture to prove it. I’ll bet he has been seeing that girl for some time. I think he had his arm around her as he opened the cab door. I’m almost sure of that.”

  “Be careful with that stuff Sharon, you remember his conversations with Bill and Bob. If you get caught it could be pretty nasty.”