The grin disappeared from his face and he nodded. “Shit, man. I’m sorry. That must’ve been hard. You know, leaving her behind and all.”
My gaze drifted over once again to Delilah as she bit her lip and cocked her head to one side. Six gripped my shoulder and drew my attention back to him. “Look, maybe you just need to move the fuck on, dude. Huh? Go pick a woman and get your rocks off. I’m sure Delilah would be game for that. And you’d feel a whole lot better.”
“How old is she anyway? I guess I’ve fucked her before from what you’ve said.”
“Don’t worry, man. She’s twenty-three. And smokin’ hot, in case you haven’t noticed. And look at those tits, bro. Don’t you just wanna… you know…”
I discreetly trailed my gaze down to her pert breasts. They were smaller than Kelly’s. Kelly had the most amazing tits and fuck, I missed her. Another whiskey appeared before me, and I closed my eyes and gulped it down just like the first one, the alcohol making a beeline for my head and slightly numbing my senses. I opened my eyes and glanced over at Delilah again, who was smiling at me longingly. Maybe a really good fuck is what I need?
Six chucked his chin at the pretty blonde. “Hey, Delilah, why don’t you take Cain up to his room and… you know… help him to relax a little?”
Delilah hadn’t moved her gaze from my face. “Sure thing. Come on, Cain.”
She walked out from behind the bar and took my hand. I followed her up the stairs, but in the back of my mind a seed of guilt sprang to life and began to grow.
Once we were inside the room where I’d been sleeping Delilah, pushed me back onto the bed. “Just lie still and relax, Cain. I’ll take your mind off of everything,” she breathed.
I lay back and felt her tugging at the buttons on the front of my jeans. Next thing I knew my pants were halfway down my thighs and I closed my eyes, hoping to lose myself in what was to come—no pun intended.
Delilah moaned as she drew my rigid flesh into her mouth. I clenched my fists and fought against the fabricated images my brain had conjured up of Kelly performing this very act on me. I had to forget about her. Deciding I needed to keep my focus on the girl I was with and not the girl I couldn’t have, I pulled myself up a little and rested on my elbows as Delilah worked my cock with her hand and mouth. She gazed up at me as she licked the full length of my erection, and I inhaled sharply as she circled her tongue around the sensitive tip. Pleasure, like some kind of drug, seeped through to every nerve ending in my body, and I growled my appreciation. She was good. But she wasn’t Kelly. I pushed myself all the way to a sitting position and looked down at her where she knelt before me. I wished so hard that the blonde head bobbing up and down on me and devouring my favourite body part was covered in long auburn waves belonging to a certain Scottish beauty.
I closed my eyes again as I reached down and cupped her breasts, toying with her nipples through the fabric of her top. She released me from her mouth and moaned again, lost in her arousal as a pink flush crept up her slender neck. Pushing herself off of me, she stood and with her gaze locked on mine, she pulled her tank top from her body to reveal her petite braless tits to me. She must have been wearing a padded bra before.
“I’m yours, Cain. You can do anything you want to me. Anything at all. I’ll fulfil all your fantasies if you’ll let me.” She slipped her jeans shorts down her legs—revealing that she wasn’t wearing panties—and stood there before me naked. A fine line of blonde hair covered the middle of her pussy. Her hips were narrow, and suddenly it hit me how completely different from Kelly she was.
I didn’t like it.
I didn’t want her.
She stepped forward and straddled me, grinding herself into me as she kissed my neck. Nausea crept up on me, and I didn’t know if it was the whiskey or just the fact that I felt like I was being unfaithful.
“Kelly… Oh, fuck, I mean Delilah… Delilah, stop. Please. I… I can’t do this.” I lifted her from my lap and placed her on her feet. When I glanced up at her, she was twisting her hands together and her eyes were glistening.
I felt like shit.
“What did I do wrong, Cain? All I ever wanted was to belong to you. I’ve loved you for so long. I didn’t care if you needed other women, but I wanted to be yours. Only yours. Why don’t you want me? What’s wrong with me? Why don’t you love me back?” The brimming tears overflowed and trickled down her cheeks.
I pulled my boxers and jeans back up as I stood. Dragging the blanket from the end of the bed, I wrapped it around her. “You’ve done nothing wrong, okay? I just… My head is fucked right now. So much has happened. Melody is—”
She held up her hands. “I get it. I understand. I’m sorry. I know you’re still getting over Melody. I’m such an idiot. Please forgive me.” But she really didn’t get it. Yes, I’d mentioned Melody, but she didn’t know about Kelly and she hadn’t picked up on what I’d said before. What she didn’t know was that I was missing the Scottish girl with all my heart and any sexual act with another would feel like betrayal. Regardless of the fact that Kelly was thousands of miles away.
“Hey, no. There’s nothing to forgive.” I pulled her into my arms and kissed the top of her head. “You’re a beautiful, sweet girl and you deserve better.”
She laughed humourlessly. “I’m not as sweet as you think. And all I want is you. You’re plenty good enough. You always have been no matter what’s in your past.”
I stroked her cheek. “I’m sorry, okay?” She nodded and wiped her face with the blanket. “I’ll… um… leave you to get dressed.” I tipped her nose with my finger and left the room. Once the door was closed behind me, I leaned against it and inhaled a deep breath as I chewed on the inside of my cheek. The pain of losing Melody and Kelly hit me all over again, and I figured whiskey was the only thing that would help me to numb the pain.
Back down in the bar, Six spied me and waved me over. “Feeling better?” He winked and punched my arm.
“Oh yeah, much,” I lied.
“I knew Delilah would help you out. She gives the best blow… I mean… she’s… she’s a sweet woman.” His cheeks must have been bright red at slipping up like that when he thought I might’ve made Delilah my old lady, but I couldn’t tell thanks to the dim light.
“There you are, Cain.” Colt appeared behind me with Ike. “We’ve been talking and we feel it would be best if you left and headed up to Canada for a while.”
I scrunched my face. “Canada? Fuck, are you kidding me?”
“This situation is no joke, son.” Ike over pronounced the word son, and I guessed he was trying to show me who was boss. I couldn’t be bothered to argue with him. “Believe me when I tell you that Canada is the safest place for you and for Rosa.”
Hang on, so I’m supposed to take Rosa away from her home too? Again? Hasn’t she been through enough upheaval? I shook my head. “No way. I have my family around me right here. You said so yourself, Colt. I’ll stick around. Rosa can come back and we’ll be fine. I’m going nowhere.”
Colt clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes. “You have no fucking idea what you’re saying. You staying will cause all-out—”
“War, yeah I get it. But what if I’m not prepared to run anymore? What if I want to be here where I belong, huh?”
“You got balls, kid. I’ll tell you that much. But my boys and me won’t be defending your ass if the shit hits the fan. Just so you know.” Colt growled in exasperation and stormed away with clenched fists, a string of expletives falling from his tight lips.
I finally retreated to my room, seething with anger. Delilah had disappeared and I was relieved of that. I flung myself on my bed, grabbed my iPod, stuck in the ear buds, and hit play. The first track that hit me was American Head Charge’s “Just So You Know”, and I laughed darkly to myself. I guessed the song was one I had chosen originally because of Melody, but as I listened to the lyrics, it was images of Kelly that sprang to my mind. And despite the anger in the deliverance of the words,
the soft melody of the chorus made my insides churn with emotion and loneliness.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Kelly
I awoke to bright lights being shined in my eyes. I was lying on a bed in a white room and could hear the familiar husk of Alex’s voice. “She’s coming around, Officer Bower.”
“Al… ex?” I croaked. “Wh-what happened?”
I gazed up into concerned hazel eyes, and he smiled. “It’s okay. You’re safe. Can you tell me your name?”
“Yes… yes, of course, it’s… K-Kelly Darrow.”
“And can you remember anything of what happened to you?” He checked my pulse.
I closed my eyes and images of a wild-haired girl assaulted my frontal lobe. “Yes… Gina… Gina… erm… hit me.” I opened my eyes once again as they welled with tears.
“That’s right. But I want you to know that you are perfectly safe now. Gina has been taken away from here. She can’t hurt you again.” His large hand stroked my head, but I winced as its soreness became evident.
Being assaulted at work was something that had been highlighted in university as a possibility, and we were coached in how to avoid situations where it could happen and how to deal with such incidents should they arise. But despite my preparedness, I never imagined I would be a victim. No amount of classroom training could have readied me for the intense and heartbreaking emotional scarring I would experience following the attack I had suffered. It shook me to the core and made me question everything I had worked for. The fact that I had been attacked by a woman somehow made it worse. Gina apparently had been dragged off me, kicking and screaming accusations that I was trying to kill her. She was sedated and removed from my office and subsequently taken to a more secure unit. The whole situation was horrific and terrifying and I was quickly ushered off on compassionate leave.
Taking time out from work was wasn’t something I ever did lightly, but going up to the Isle of Skye with Esme had definitely been the medicine I needed. The little cottage she had booked was just over the Skye Bridge at Kyleakin and it overlooked Loch Alsh. It was a small but very sweet little house, painted white and hunkered low against the elements.
The two bedrooms had been squeezed into the eaves and afforded occupants a magnificent view of the imposing bridge and the boats sailing by on the calm waters beneath.
Esme had packed plenty of DVD movies—mainly comedies—to keep us occupied, but there were board games in the cupboard by the fireplace too. The weather was bright but cold and I had made sure to pack plenty of sweaters, scarves, and hats.
My fractured left hand was encased in plaster, and the itching skin there was driving me mad; but my face and head were healing nicely, and I was thankful that I hadn’t needed stitches. The glue had matted my hair, however, and I was self-conscious about it. Hence the assortment of hats.
We sat eating breakfast at the kitchen table one morning when Esme announced the plans for the day. “We’re going to see the Old Man of Storr today. There’s a cute little café on the way, so we’re sorted for cake and coffee later. It’s in a centre for the elderly that I discovered when I was researching the area. The cafe is actually run by the lovely old dears too. And… well… They’ve… they’ve got a vacancy actually.”
I scrunched my brow. “Are you thinking of a career change? This is news. Although I can’t imagine you with a blue rinse serving cake. Although the old guys would probably love you. You’d have to watch yourself there.” I giggled at the thought.
She chewed her lip and knotted her fingers. “I was actually thinking of you, honey. The vacancy is for a clinical psychologist.”
Confusion washed over me. “Me? But… I have a job.”
“I know. But after what happened, I thought maybe a change of scenery and a fresh start might do you good. You know, working with people who are less likely to attack you with a blunt instrument.”
The thought that I was in the wrong job had crossed my mind on more than one occasion since I had met Cain—and especially since the assault. “What’s the job?”
“It’s a counselling role. Working with people at the centre who are adjusting to life in residential care. They do some amazing work, Kel. I think you should check out the job description. They’re… Look, this is going to sound terrible, but I sent your CV in and they want to meet with you.”
My eyes widened and I gulped. “I can’t go to an interview looking like this.” I gestured to my bruised and swollen face. Although it wasn’t as bad as it had been, it still made me look like the worst possible candidate for a job with oldies.
“They know about the assault. Alex has spoken to them.”
I gasped and stood
She held up her hands and stuttered, “L-look, I know this seems very underhanded of us, but… we were just looking out for you.”
“Since when have you and Alex been in cahoots?” My voice squeaked. My shock very much evident.
“Since…” She covered her face briefly and peeped out through her fingers. “Oh, God, don’t hate me, Kel. He’s been taking me out for a few weeks. We met when you were in hospital after the assault, and we just… hit it off.” She shrugged as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “I really like him. I know there’s an age gap, but…” She ended her half-finished sentence with a simultaneous shrug and cringe.
Panic rushed through my veins at the thought of my past misdemeanours with Cain being discussed over dinner. I opened and closed my mouth like a goldfish out of its bowl.
As if she were reading my mind, she stood and came around the table to me. “Under no circumstances would I ever tell him anything about you and Cain, so you have nothing to worry about. Nothing at all. Okay?”
My heart was racing and I suddenly felt lightheaded. “But what if it slips out? By accident?” Or because Alex has a talent for reading between the lines.
She placed her hands firmly on my shoulders. “You have nothing to worry about. Just go for the interview and see about that fresh start, okay?”
I met with Christian Sampson later that day. He was great. The role with the elderly people sounded like a breath of fresh air and very positive. For the first time in what felt like forever, I was excited. This was something I could maybe get my teeth into. I left the meeting with a smile on my face under the advisement that I would receive a call at the end of the week.
That same evening, Esme had booked us a table at the restaurant a couple of hundred metres away, and we sat munching on steak and chips. My appetite was back with a vengeance.
“So what was he like? Looks-wise I mean.” The twinkle in Esme’s eyes told me she was in matchmaking mode.
“Whoa… don’t even go there. Even if I do get the job, there is no way on this earth I’ll be mixing business with pleasure ever again. No thank you.”
Esme laughed. “Okay, okay. Message received loud and clear.”
“The only thing is… Cain won’t know where I am.”
She sighed and reached across the table. “I know. But… in all honesty, maybe that’s a good thing. You won’t be wondering if he’s going to turn up one day. You can really move on.”
She was right. He hadn’t tried to contact me in all this time, and he wasn’t going to. I needed to let it go. This fresh start would have to be a new beginning in every sense of the phrase.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Cain
The ride north was a long one. But being back on my bike was astoundingly good. It was like coming home. I gripped the handlebars and grinned like an idiot as the cool wind whipped strands of my hair around my face. I glanced over at Six, who saluted me just before he dropped back and was replaced at my side by Colt, whose shoulders were jumping up and down as he shook his head.
Bastard’s laughing at me!
I didn’t care.
After hitting the road at the butt-crack of dawn, we were on our way to a small town in Idaho on the outskirts of Nampa, where my kid sister was holed up in some kind of safe house.
The details I had been given were still sketchy, and I was being kept in the dark about her exact location until the last minute.
We all pulled up outside a coffee shop at around four in the afternoon. Once we all had parked up our bikes, we followed Colt as he made his way inside and to the counter. He got chatting to an old dude behind the cash register, who listened intently and glanced over to me every so often. He kept nodding and eventually shook Colt’s hand. I wondered what the hell he had ordered that had gotten the guy so serious.
When Colt returned, I watched him expectantly as he rubbed his hand over his hair but said nothing.
Unable to stay quiet any longer, I had to break the silence. “Okay, so what’s the plan of action? We eat first and then go get Rosa?”
He placed his hand on my shoulder and gripped me tightly. Come with me, buddy.”
He turned and walked past the side of the counter, toward a door marked Private. He held the door open and allowed me to walk through. A staircase stood in front of me, and I turned to glance at Colt, wondering why he wasn’t moving.
He gestured ahead of me. “Go on up and knock on the door at the top of the stairs.”
I swallowed hard and turned to face the stairs. Did this mean what I hoped it meant?
I nervously made my way up the wooden staircase, and sure enough there was a white-painted door at the top. I knocked and waited. My heart hammered at the inside of my chest, and sweat beaded on my forehead. I trusted Colt, didn’t I? What if I was wrong? What if I had proven to be too much of a liability to the Company?
The door opened, and a middle-aged woman stood before me. Okay, so I wasn’t going to die today, but my heart sank and I scrunched my brow. “Oh… I was expecting—”
Bad Company: Company of Sinners MC #1 Page 24
