Fire and Rain

by Andrew Grey

  “First thing, you are not going to end up back on the streets. That isn’t an option. Donald is going to help, and so am I.” Kip put his hand on Jos’s shoulder. He only meant it as a gesture of comfort, but the heat that shot through him was nearly overwhelming. Kip should have pulled his hand away, but he didn’t want that to be misinterpreted, so he left it and gently wriggled his fingers.

  “I can’t stop worrying,” Jos said. “What if Tyler had gone after Isaac instead of me?” He began to hyperventilate again.

  Kip soothed him as best he could. “He didn’t, and you’re here where it’s safe. And Tyler is behind bars, where he belongs. You don’t have to worry about him any longer.”

  The way Jos tried to curl into the chair made him seem small, like if he curled up as far as he could, he’d disappear completely. “I can’t help worrying. Isaac deserves so much more. I need to find a way to make sure this doesn’t happen again.”

  “What you need to do is stop blaming yourself for what happened and try to forgive yourself. Guilt sucks, and we can let it take over our lives.”

  “What do you have to feel guilty about?” Jos shot back. “You have all this, and you had parents who loved and cared for you. I bet everything was perfect for you.”

  “Then that’s a bet you’d lose,” Kip retorted and pulled his hand away. He reached for his glass, wishing like hell there was something stronger than lemonade in it. “We all have things we feel guilty about.” Kip stood and went inside the house. He closed the front door and walked through to the kitchen. He set his glass on the counter and placed both hands on the granite counters his mother had installed just before she died. It was his turn not to hyperventilate as anger and long-festering guilt rose to mix together in a soup of blackness.

  After a few minutes, he heard the front door open and close, then soft footsteps. Kip pushed away from the counter and opened the freezer door. He needed a pretense, something to cover his actions, and going for more ice seemed to work. He put an extra cube in his glass and then slid the tray home and closed the door.

  “I’m sorry,” Jos said. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you. It’s just hard to make people understand sometimes, and I got upset, and….” Jos stared at the floor.

  “It wasn’t your fault.” An old wound that had been with him for a very long time had suddenly decided to split open in a big way. “Go back out with Isaac. I’ll be right back out.”

  Jos turned and left, and Kip went upstairs to the spare bedroom on the third floor. The room was air-conditioned and heated, so he used it for storage. Plastic tubs were stacked one on top of the other against the wall. Kip scanned the labels until he found the one he wanted. He moved tubs around until he got to it and pulled it open.

  Inside were toys. Kip found a few dolls that had been played with hard. He lifted them out and set them aside. He removed a stuffed bear and put it aside too. Then he found what he’d been looking for: a brown horse with a dark plastic saddle. He lifted it out and stared at it. Then he shook his head, put everything back, and slammed the lid back on the tub before wiping away the tears in his eyes. He pulled out the next tub and lifted the lid. Then he grabbed both of them and left the room, carrying them down the flights of stairs and out to the porch.

  He set down the tubs, and Isaac hurried over, peering inside as Kip lifted the lid on the top tub. “These were mine when I was a kid, and I thought you could play with some of them.” Kip pulled out various trucks and cars, setting them on the porch floor. Isaac squealed, dropped to the floor, and started pushing the cars around. Kip had needed a chance to clear his head for a few minutes, and getting the toys for Isaac was just the break he needed. And judging by Isaac’s reaction, the decision was a good one.

  “You’re going to spoil him,” Jos told him when Kip sat down.

  “He deserves to be spoiled for a while, and so do you,” Kip countered. He found it difficult to sit still and went back inside, returning a few minutes later with a plate of cheese, crackers, and grapes. He set it on one of the side tables and sat back down.

  “You’re trying to make me fat,” Jos accused even as he placed a slice of cheese on a cracker.

  “You’re too thin and you know it,” Kip said. “So eat and relax. Isaac is happy, and you’re both safe.” He sat down and leaned back in his chair, letting his eyes drift closed. Of course, as soon as he did, his imagination took over.

  “Why that grin?” Jos asked after a few seconds.

  Kip shook his head. “Nothing,” he lied. There was no way he’d admit that he’d been sitting next to Jos wondering what he’d look like without his clothes on and what he’d feel like under him. His imagination had conjured up the most amazing chorus of soft needy sounds, and Kip leaned forward, hoping like hell he wasn’t showing wood. He sure as hell had it, but putting on a display wouldn’t be good. “I was just thinking.” He needed to stop having those thoughts. It wasn’t right and nothing could come of it.

  “Kip,” Jos said, and Kip colored, wondering what he’d seen. “I see you looking at me sometimes.”

  The heat in Kip’s cheeks rose even higher. “I’m sorry. I look. It doesn’t mean that…. I’m not like Tyler, you know.” Where had that come from? It seemed hard to believe that Jos had only been staying with him for a day.

  “I know that. You’d never do anything like what he tried,” Jos said and leaned forward in his chair. “I am gay, just so you know. So you don’t have to worry about me being offended by your little daydreams.”

  Kip swallowed. “Even if I were to confess that they were about you?”

  “I figured that,” Jos said with a smile and sat back in his chair. Kip did the same, listening to the happy sound of Isaac as he ran cars around the porch. After a while, Isaac went back to playing with his horse, but somehow Pistachio now made the same sounds as a truck.

  When Isaac said he was hungry, Kip made lunch and they ate on the porch. It was a late lunch because of their unscheduled ice cream stop, but that was fine. Isaac played the rest of the afternoon on the porch, and Jos watched him. Kip thought he might have relaxed somewhat and even nodded off for a while. Kip took that as a sign of Jos’s comfort around him.

  When Isaac crawled into Jos’s lap and curled next to him later in the afternoon, Kip wondered if something was wrong, but Isaac just rested his head on Jos’s shoulder and dozed off.

  “Kip,” Jos whispered after a while. “I have to go inside. Would you please…?” He stood and gently transferred Isaac. Kip expected Isaac to wake, but he remained asleep and curled against Kip, barely stirring. Jos put Pistachio to Isaac’s arm, and he curled it close. “I’ll be right back.”

  Kip nodded and looked at the small body and angelic face resting on his lap, Isaac’s usual quiet energy banked for later use. Kip stroked a stray lock of Isaac’s hair from his forehead and just watched him sleep. When Jos returned, Kip asked if he wanted him back and was exceedingly happy when Jos shook his head and stretched out on the wicker love seat. “Go ahead and close your eyes if you want. He and I will be fine.”

  Kip tried to remember the last time he’d spent an afternoon doing nothing. Even when he wasn’t at work, he was almost always doing something. The house always needed some kind of attention, and while he sat, he ran though the list of things he should be doing. When he was with Jeffrey, that list of items always seemed so important, but right now, it was secondary to enjoying the peace and quiet of one of those warm fall days that could be the last of the year.

  “No!” Jos mumbled and stirred, groaning and then whimpering softly. Kip reached over and gently put his hand on Jos’s back and held it there, letting him know he wasn’t alone. Jos mumbled some more and then settled quietly once again.

  A few minutes later, Isaac woke with a start, whining the way his brother had. “It’s okay. It’s just Kip.” He picked up Pistachio from where he’d tumbled out of Isaac’s arms and continued holding him for a few minutes until Isaac squirmed to be let down. “You have to p
lay quietly.”

  Isaac nodded and put a finger up to his lips, making a “shhh” sound to Pistachio before going to the other end of the porch and the chaise longue corral.

  “Where’s Isaac?” Jos asked with a start, sitting straight up.

  “He’s playing with his horse,” Kip said levelly, and Jos sighed and turned so his feet were on the floor. “God…. I dreamed someone had taken him, and when I went to get him back, he was gone and I couldn’t find him. Faceless people kept saying that he was better off, and after a while I began to believe it, and—”

  “It was just a dream. Isaac is right there, and he’s fine,” Kip said lightly. “None of that is going to happen.”

  “How do you know?” Jos asked. “I know you bent the rules last night when you didn’t call child services when you found us in the doorway. Why do you think I had to get away as fast as I could? I won’t let anyone take Isaac away. We’re the only family we’ve got, and I can’t leave him alone, not after what happened to Mom.”

  “Donald and I aren’t going to let it happen.” Why he was so vehement in his conviction and so trusting of Jos was beyond him. He was a police officer; he should know better than to trust a stranger. He saw things every day that told him he needed to be much more careful, and yet Jos had gotten past his defenses and under his cynical police nature without him even realizing it.

  His phone vibrated in his pocket. Kip read the message, then said, “Aaron got the warrant, and they’re going over now. He said to come by in half an hour and we should be able to have a look around.”

  Jos seemed nervous and turned away. Instantly the suspicions he’d just been admonishing himself for pushing aside came rushing forward. “Is there something there that you don’t want them to see?”

  Jos turned back to him. “How would you like other people going through your stuff?”

  “They aren’t going to. Aaron got a warrant because there was stolen property on the premises. Yours. He’s claiming that in kicking you out illegally, Powers in effect stole your property from you. Hopefully it will stick in court, but Powers will have a bunch of lawyers with a million explanations.” Kip’s phone buzzed again. “We need to go,” he said and got to his feet. “Get Isaac in the car. Powers was already in the process of tearing down the building.”

  Kip called Aaron. “How could that happen so fast?” he asked when Aaron answered.

  “I have someone checking, but it looks like the permit came through today so he wasn’t wasting any time. We stopped the work, but the bulldozers have already demolished half the building.” Kip pulled open the door to his car and started the engine. As soon as Jos had Isaac in his seat and the doors closed, he zoomed to the other side of town.

  “STAY HERE,” Kip said. He lowered the windows, then got out and walked to where Aaron was standing. One side wall of the brick structure was gone. “Jesus.”

  “Tell me about it. That was Josten’s apartment,” Aaron said, pointing to the undamaged side of the building.

  “What do we do?”

  “It seems undamaged, and I have them stopped for now.”

  “Has anyone else complained?” Kip asked.

  Aaron nodded. “The units seem mostly empty. When I looked into the ones with the missing wall there were a few pieces of old furniture, but most everything was gone. I haven’t been able to look in the unit above, but I’m starting to think that Josten may have been the lone holdout.”

  “Do you think Jos was lying?”

  Aaron shook his head. “I think Powers was. He comes here making a show of force complete with a police officer to make it look really good. He tells everyone in the building that they’re being evicted and to get the hell out. The few others get their stuff once the show is over and clear out. Josten doesn’t know it’s a show, and he has no other place to go, so he grabs what he can and heads to a shelter.”

  “Son of a bitch,” Kip swore.

  “The guy is slime. Hell, he’s shit in slime. But he got what he wanted. The building is empty and there are no leases, and no one complains because they’re scared shitless. He gets a permit, and the building comes down…. Everything is gone, and he can go through with his sale of the land.”

  “So what do we do?”

  “The demolition has stopped, but the building is going to be unstable.”

  “Can we go inside?”

  “Red is already there. He wanted to look around,” Aaron explained. Kip turned to the doorway, and Red came out and walked over to them.

  “This side of the building seems good for now. The walls and ceiling are intact, and there aren’t any cracks. These places were built pretty solidly. I’d say give the tenant an hour to take what’s vital, and then we need to condemn the place and let them take it down for safety. I took pictures inside in case the complainant wants to press charges. But the place is now a hazard and the door wasn’t locked when I got here, so I’m afraid anything of value has been removed.”

  Kip sighed. Another injury to someone who’s been kicked around way too much. “I’ll get Jos, and he can decide what he wants to do,” Kip said and hurried back to the car. “You can go in and get what’s important. The place seems stable for now. I’ll stay with Isaac.” Kip opened the trunk. “Load up the trunk with whatever you can get.”

  “Can I use the grocery bags?” Jos asked.

  “Whatever you need,” Kip said as he saw Red coming over.

  “I can help you,” Red offered.

  “Jos, this is Red. He’s an officer and a personal friend.”

  “Thanks,” Jos whispered, clearly overwhelmed. “I don’t even know where to start.”

  “Pictures, papers—whatever is most important to you and Isaac,” Kip said, wishing he could help him. But someone needed to stay with Isaac, and a total stranger would freak Isaac out. Jos nodded, and Red led him into the building.

  KIP SAT with Isaac, doing his best to entertain him, watching what was left of the building and worrying. Jos came out with his arms full of clothes for him and Isaac. “Can you stay here? I’ll just be at the back of the car,” Kip told Isaac and left the door open for air. He took the load, and Jos hurried back inside. Kip did his best to fold things and put them into bags and organize the trunk. When Jos came out again, he had a few more bags, and Red was following him.

  “That’s all,” Jos said. “People went through everything.” His lips quivered. “The TV and stuff like that was gone. They were old, but somebody still took them.”

  Red set a bag in the trunk. “I found some pictures and put them in there for you. Some of the glass was broken, but I figured the pictures were what was important.”

  Jos nodded. He looked about ready to cry. “I found the papers Donald said he needs. They were in a pile of stuff that was thrown on the floor.”

  “We’ll wash all the clothes when we get them home. Did you find any of Isaac’s toys?”

  Jos shook his head. “I tried to find the bear Mom gave him. He always slept with it. I couldn’t find it when we got evicted, so we had to leave without it, and I didn’t see it anywhere just now. Why would someone take it?” Jos put his hands over his face. “Why? It was just a stupid bear. It didn’t mean anything to anyone except Isaac and me.”

  “Was there anything else you wanted to get?”

  “The furniture were things I got at thrift stores for a few dollars. All I wanted was some of Isaac’s things. It was the only stuff worth anything.”

  “Was there anything of real value left inside?” Aaron asked, and Jos went to pieces when Red shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

  “Can you roast the bastard?” Jos asked before Kip folded him into his arms. He wasn’t in uniform, and he didn’t care at that point what the other officers thought. Jos was reaching a breaking point. It seemed like every time the guy turned around, any sort of good news was followed by a bitter disappointment.

  “What’s going on here?” a rough voice demanded. “This building should be down by now. Why ha
s everything stopped?”

  “And you are?” Aaron asked forcefully. “We have a warrant, and in order to fulfill it, we stopped the work.”

  “Gordon Powers. I own this lot, and I have a demolition permit.”

  “This building contained property that wasn’t yours,” Aaron explained.

  “That’s too bad. The tenants were given ample notice and have had weeks to get their property out. The locks were changed two weeks ago, and we’ve gotten no requests for access.”

  “You kicked us out with no notice,” Jos said.

  “I did no such thing. You were given notice, and then you abandoned the apartment. We sent registered letters that went unanswered. So I’m within my rights to move ahead.” Powers turned his considerable girth toward the demolition crews. “Take her down, boys.” He turned back to Aaron. “Unless you have a court order specifically stopping the demolition….”

  Kip wanted to slap the smug look off the bastard’s face.

  “Didn’t think so,” Powers said and motioned to the men to continue. “I’m not paying you to stand around. Knock it to the ground and start hauling it away.” He stepped back, arms crossed across his chest defiantly as the trucks started up and a bulldozer pushed into the building.

  “Do you want to watch this?” Kip asked Jos, who shook his head. Kip felt so damned powerless.

  Aaron and the other officers moved away as a bulldozer plowed into the other side wall and the weakened structure imploded in on itself, roof falling in followed by the side walls.

  Kip moved Jos toward the car and got him inside. Isaac was craning his neck to try to see what was happening, his hands over his ears. “Sorry, buddy,” Kip said. “Let’s go home and get some dinner, okay?”

  “Pizza?” Isaac asked.

  “It was Mom’s favorite, so we had it a lot,” Jos explained.

  “Sure. I’ll have one delivered,” Kip agreed. He drove as fast as he could away from the devastation that had been Jos and Isaac’s last home. He fumed for much of the trip. Powers was a total bastard, and Kip didn’t believe a thing the man had said, but they couldn’t prove otherwise, so they were stuck looking like fools while Powers did what he wanted anyway.