Bucking Bareback

by Maggie Monroe

  “Big movie star, huh? What about you? You’ve got an Oscar nod, and I don’t have half the titles under my belt you do.”

  “That doesn’t mean much anymore. It only matters what movies you do. Looks like you choose wisely.”

  I hesitated. “Talking about Love & Bondage?”

  “Of course. Isn’t that what everyone is talking about?” She cocked her head to the side. “You know I read for the part of Evangeline?”

  I shook my head. “No, I had no idea. I kind of came into the film late.” I tried to shake the vision of Annalise taking Rebecca’s place on set. I debated which one would be more trouble.

  She giggled and took a sip of wine. “With Rebecca Campbell interested, no one else had a chance. Even if I did want to work with you.”

  I was shocked. Annalise was unexpected. “You wanted to work with me? Why?”

  “Because I heard you were fun. You keep things light, but have a way of taking the work seriously. Not to mention, you’re pretty easy on the eyes.”

  I chuckled. There was no way of telling how many glasses of wine she’d had. But I was certain in the daylight and sober, she wouldn’t be saying half of this. “Well, I’m flattered. Really, but I might not be as fun as you think.” I glanced around for Scott.

  “I find that hard to believe.” She slid a hand along my arm, spreading warmth through my dress shirt. “Maybe we’ll get another chance to work together.”

  “Maybe.” I grinned.

  “Nice meeting you, Ben Baldwin.”

  I nodded. “Nice meeting you, Annalise Duchamp.”

  She walked back to the rest of the party, and I wondered for just a second what it would be like if this was my life. If I accepted Hollywood, if I bought a house out here, if I attended parties every night and dated actresses. Would I ever have any normalcy or peace? I knew all the answers staring into the canyon—hell no, nothing could compare to what I had found.

  “Were you just talking to Annalise Duchamp?” Scott stammered, and shoved a beer in my hand.

  “Want me to introduce you?”

  “No, I don’t need another client.”

  “I don’t mean for work.” I nudged him in the shoulder. Annalise was gorgeous, even prettier in person. If I wasn’t with Chelsea, I would have waited in line to meet her too. She was subtle and mysterious. It worked for her on and off screen.

  Scott laughed. “Not tonight. I can’t. Hey, listen. I saw a few studio heads at the bar. Want to move in that direction?”

  I’d rather stare at the canyon and count window lights, but this was for work. “Sure. Lead the way.”

  For the next three hours, I mixed and mingled with every executive, writer, producer, and director at the party. By the end of the night, I had met absolutely everyone in attendance.

  Scott looked happy in the car on the way back to the hotel.

  “You did great tonight.”

  “Thanks.” I knew this was another part I had to play.

  “I appreciate you going. I know your heart wasn’t in it, but I think it was important for the studio execs to see you in action. They’re banking millions on you, and now they know you can deliver when you have to. You’re not just a cowboy, boots, and beer guy.”

  I turned toward him. “Is that what people think of me?”

  “Not exactly, but you’re from east Texas.”

  “You’re from east Texas,” I retorted.

  “But I’m not the one carrying the movie on my back. It’s a little different.”

  I wondered how much he was keeping from me. It was his job to filter information, but right now that didn’t feel good. I didn’t like being in the dark.

  “You never told me anyone was nervous I couldn’t pull this off. Is that what this party was really about? Dress me up and show me off?” I had liked Scott up to this point, but I was getting angry.

  “Ben, it’s my job to keep that stuff away from you, right? You don’t need to know all the behind-the-scenes politics. All you need to know now is that you successfully eased everyone’s minds. You looked like James Bond tonight, not John Wayne. And that’s the point you had to prove. You were meant to be Julian Love, and now everyone else knows that too. It’s better you didn’t know ahead of time.”

  I settled back into my seat. Was this true? Did people think I was a good-time, fun-lovin’ Texas cowboy all the time?

  The car stopped in front of the hotel and I jumped out.

  “Man, wait, don’t be mad. I swear I’m looking out for you and your career.” Scott attempted to step from the car.

  I landed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m not mad. You opened my eyes to some things I had forgotten to take a look at. Have a good night. We can talk tomorrow.”

  He looked like he was going to follow me into the hotel, but he eased back into the car.

  “All right, man. If you say so. I’ll call you in the morning.” He closed the door and the car rolled out of the parking lot.

  I strolled into the hotel and sat at the bar.

  “Two shots of tequila.” I held up my fingers at the bartender. I had some thinking to do.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Chelsea

  The air was warm on my face, but I knew summer had left. It felt like fall was on the way. I had taken my coffee to the porch and watched the boats steer out of the harbor. I missed that odd combination of diesel and salt drifting off the water.

  My mother had left at seven for her drive to Nags Head to meet the attorney. She refused to let me ride with her, even after I tried to bribe her with shopping and lunch. I realized I probably wouldn’t see her until suppertime. With a ferry ride and a trip north on Highway 12, it was almost half a day of traveling.

  After last night, I didn’t know what to think about my parents. My mother was determined to seek legal separation and vengeance. This was a version of her as a person that I didn’t know existed.

  My father—I had no idea. What if he was planning a similar attack? Or what if he was completely heartbroken and remorseful? I knew I was grasping at nostalgia, but I wanted him to be regretful. Maybe he was working on a way to salvage his marriage. I decided I better get dressed and find out. I finished my cup of coffee, showered, and walked to the store.

  The screen door creaked like it always did, and there were boxes in the hall from a recent delivery. My first instinct was to try to haul them into the storage room and start the inventory process, but I reminded myself I didn’t work here anymore. Bertie was still recovering from her surgery and Derek was at Wave On, so I didn’t know who my dad had hired to run the register during the day. Something that had once been ingrained in my existence was suddenly foreign to me.

  I tiptoed down the hall. My palms were clammy, my breath quickened. Dad. This was just Dad.

  I tapped on the office door and closed my eyes when I heard him call out, “Come in.”

  Slowly, I stepped inside the office, knocking as I pushed on the door. “Hey, Dad.”

  “Chelsea? What in heavens are you doing here?” He pulled the glasses from his face and laid them on the desk. He looked tired and older than I ever remembered seeing him.

  “I—uh—I came to check on Mom.” I closed the door behind me. No matter who was out in the store, this conversation needed to be kept private.

  He nodded. “Ahh, and how is she?”

  “How is she?” I moved into the foldout chair in the corner.

  “Yeah, how is she? She won’t return my calls. She locked me out of the house. Won’t answer the door. How is she? Seems like a reasonable question.”

  “Dad, I don’t think you can ask me that.”

  He stood from his chair and walked to the front of the desk where he rested against the edge. “Then why are you here?”

  “I don’t know.” I expected my eyes to sting and my throat to clamp shut, but it didn’t happen. Now that I was talking to him, looking at the worried lines on his face, the dark circles under his eyes, the apprehension was gone.

 
; “I couldn’t not come see you.”

  He stared at me, and I wanted to slug him and hug him. He was still my father, but he was the man who had destroyed my mother’s life. Ruined our family.

  “Chelsea, I don’t know what you know.” He paused. “But no matter what happens, you’re still my daughter. You’re my only child, and I don’t want you to be hurt by all of this.”

  “Don’t you think it’s too late for that? I’ve already been hurt. You cheated on Mom.” There. I said it. I finally said the words that had been clawing to get out for months.

  He exhaled deeply. “I did.”

  “And that’s it?” I expected a big apology, or groveling. Something. Anything. “For months this has been going on and that’s all you can say?” I glared at him.

  He opened his mouth to speak, but instead closed his eyes. “You’ve known, haven’t you?”

  “Yes,” I replied sheepishly.

  “So, that’s what happened.” He sighed. “All summer I tried to figure out why you suddenly couldn’t stand to be around me. You knew.”

  I was determined not to feel guilty about the way I had treated him. I clamped my tongue to the bottom of my mouth.

  “I thought you resented the store, being stuck here, but I was way off.” He shook his head. “I don’t know how you found out, but it was never my intention for you to get hurt.”

  “And what about Mom? Did you care about her feelings when you were with Eileen? Did you ever think what would happen?”

  My throat tightened and I looked around the office for bottled water. I didn’t know if I could keep this up much longer, but something was fueling me. Months of hostility. Regret that I could have stopped the vengeful path my mother was on. Hurt from feeling betrayed.

  “I still care about your mother. I will always care about her. But, things have been different between us for years. I don’t expect you to understand the complications of marriage.”

  “I’m not ten. Don’t try to tell me this is too much for me to handle.”

  “I’m sorry. This isn’t the most comfortable conversation we’ve had.”

  “I just don’t know why you did this, Dad. Why?”

  “I think maybe it’s best your mother and I start living our own lives. Lives we really want to live.”

  I shrank in my seat. He had already given up. “But don’t you want us to stay a family?”

  “Honey, it’s not that simple. You’re right. You’re not a little girl. You’ve moved out. You’re living your own life. Walking your own path. We have to do the same. We’ll always be family, but I don’t think your mom and I can patch this up. And if I’m being honest, I don’t know that I want to.” He rubbed his tired eyes. “Chelsea, it’s not just an affair.”

  He was supposed to fight for Mom, fight for the family. Fight to spend Christmases together and birthdays, fight to be there when I got home. Just fight. I blinked before standing to leave. I didn’t want to admit what his words meant. He had found something with Eileen, something he wanted. Something he couldn’t get any more at home.

  “I-I don’t know what else to say, Dad. It sounds so final.” Just saying that made it seemed cemented, as if I had been part of ending the relationship.

  “I’m afraid it is.”

  “I’ll let you know when I’m leaving the island.” I pulled on the doorknob.

  “Chelsea, you can call me. You know that.”

  I nodded and walked out of the office.

  ***

  It didn’t feel like there was much I could do to glue my family back together. My father was resolved to let things fade away into a new life, and my mother was hell bent on taking him to the bank.

  I climbed the stairs to the wraparound porch and sat on the swing. The tomato plants my mother always touted had withered, and only a few shriveled brown leaves hung from the vines. A white cabbage moth landed near the top of the plant and rested its wings.

  It was only last night I had taken the ferry home, but it didn’t feel like home anymore. I wasn’t needed. And what was worse, I wasn’t wanted.

  The rope that tied my anchor to the ship had unraveled. It wasn’t all at once or with the sharp tug of a storm, but it had been wearing the fibers threadbare over time. Months, and if I really thought about it, for years. But this week, the last strand had torn free. There was nothing holding me to Brees Island, except that my heart knew it was home. It would always be home. But now that home wasn’t my parents’ house. It was the big old cottage by the water that Ben had bought for me. That’s where I wanted to be now.

  My legs drifted over the herb garden and then along the wooden planks of the porch. I stopped in mid-swing.

  I knew how to make this trip worthwhile.

  I hopped in the rental car, turned the key, and drove around the cove. I pulled up into the garage under my house. I still couldn’t believe it was all mine. Technically, I knew it was Ben’s, but he had put it in my name.

  I jogged up the steps and opened the bottom apartment. One day, I wanted to combine all four units into my dream house. But that seemed like a lifetime away. I reached under the bed, pulled out my extra suitcase and a duffle bag, and started packing pictures and books. I stuffed my graduation album from Carolina into the bottom of the suitcase.

  The sky started getting dark when I looked up from my task. I realized I had spent the entire day organizing. I had sorted everything into three piles—one to take with me on the jet, one to toss out, and one to keep here.

  I was surprised the pile to take was the largest of the three. But the longer I stayed at the ranch, the more I wanted to weave myself into its fabric. I wanted pictures from college and my favorite candles. My master’s diploma on the wall. I wanted my old poetry notebook and the dried bouquet from my cousin’s wedding. They were small things, but they were enough to make the master suite feel like it was my room too, not just Ben’s.

  I wanted to be back at my parents’ house when my mother got home, so I left the mess I had made and locked up.

  I would head back to the cottage tomorrow and continue the process.

  Mom’s car was already in the driveway when I pulled up. I opened my purse to toss in the keys and heard my phone ringing.

  “Hey.” I squeezed the phone against my ear as if Ben would feel it.

  “Hey, darlin’, how’s everything going out there?”

  I dropped my head to the steering wheel. “Terrible, but not really.”

  “You ok? How’s your mama doing?”

  I smiled at his accent. It always had a way of making me feel warmer. “She just got back from seeing an attorney. I was getting ready to go in and talk to her.”

  “Attorney? Sounds like things are moving fast.”

  “They are. I don’t think there’s any chance they’re going to reconcile.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do? You want me to try to make it out there this weekend?”

  “No, you can’t do that. I’m probably not staying long. I’ll head back Sunday.”

  “You sure? I bet I could call up Flora and rent Silver Sand Dollar out.”

  A smile slipped across my face. I would have to drive by the campground on my way off the island. Maybe text him a picture of his summer paradise.

  “Or,” he continued. “We could just hang out at your place all weekend and listen to the waves crash. Open all the sliding doors.”

  I considered telling him about my secret packing project, but decided to keep it to myself for now. It wasn’t as if I had completely decided we should move in together. I was just packing up some things. Making my space at the ranch more familiar. For now, I’d think of them as little touches of home.

  “Ben, it’s really sweet and I do want to hang out with you here, but don’t go through all that trouble when I’m just going to turn around and leave. It’s too far for you to fly coast to coast like that.”

  “Darlin’, no distance is too far to travel if it means putting a smile on your fac
e.”

  I sighed into the phone, knowing he meant every word he said.

  “That’s sweet, but…”

  “All right. I get it. But I do have a surprise for you.”

  “What is it?”

  “I think I’m going to get a break next weekend.”

  “Really? As in the kind of break you can take time off?”

  “Yeah. We’ve been pushing it pretty hard here so we’re getting a four-day break. How about I meet you at the ranch?”

  I closed my eyes and counted how many days it would be until next weekend. “Yes, that would be awesome.” There were squeals desperate to come out, but I wanted to act somewhat rational.

  “I heard it might be a special weekend for you.”

  “And who told you that?” I teased.

  “I might have a few connections. You don’t think I’d miss your birthday do you?”

  I hadn’t wanted to say anything, thinking it was impossible for us to spend my birthday together. But secretly I was dying to make plans with him.

  “I can’t wait to see you, baby. I have missed you since the second you left L.A.”

  “Me too.”

  “Look, they’re calling us back in to wrap up the last scene for the day, but I can text you later.”

  “Ok, I’ve got to help with dinner anyway.” I stepped out of the car.

  “Bye, baby.”

  “Bye.” I tucked the phone into my pocket. There were at least some good things on the horizon. I smiled to myself as I climbed the stairs.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Ben

  Despite the flight attendant’s warnings, I stood near the exit door of the plane. I couldn’t get my boots on the tarmac fast enough. Chelsea was waiting at the ranch. After almost another two weeks apart, I couldn’t think of anything else but holding her in my arms.

  “It was a pleasure flying with you today, Mr. Baldwin.” She smiled and pushed the door open for me.

  I jogged down the stairs and ran into the terminal, my heels sliding on the slick floors. Someone could deliver the luggage later. I didn’t have time to wait. I grabbed the keys from the valet and hopped in the car ready to take on the fastest NASCAR driver on my way to the ranch.