Pieces of Me

by Rachel Ryan

  “This time it’s about you.”

  He looks shocked for a moment and then his cute dimples appear as his mouth spreads into a grin.

  “Shorty, what are you trying to say?”

  Far out! What the hell am I doing? I shouldn’t be telling him any of this. It could change everything.

  “When you look at me…when you touch me…my heart races and I feel…stuff.” Curse that stupid beer and my stupid traitorous mouth!

  He leans in closer and whispers.

  “You want me Shorty.” Was that a question or a statement?

  “I don’t know what I want, Jake. You’re my best friend. I don’t want that to change.”

  “Baby, nothing could ever change our friendship.” When he called me Baby, I kind of inwardly sighed and decided that I want him to call me that all the time.

  “You have a girlfriend, Jake. We shouldn’t even be doing this.”

  He tilts his head and gazes at my mouth again.

  “What are we doing, Shorty?”

  “This.” I wave my hand between us. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

  “We’re just talking Abbi. Unless you want to be doing more?”

  He suddenly pulls me into his arms and leans me up against the side of his car. “Do you want me to kiss you, Abbi?”

  Internally, I am screaming at myself to say ‘no’, but my body has other ideas and I find myself answering his question with a slight nod of my head.

  He leans in, his eyes not leaving mine as our lips finally connect. His lips are soft and smooth and he tastes like peppermint and bourbon. It’s delicious and I want more. I pull him closer to me and run my fingers through his soft, dark hair. A tiny growl escapes his mouth and I cling to him, scared to let him go, because I don’t know what will happen when this kiss is over. All I know is that I want Jake.

  Bad.

  After a minute, he gently pulls away from me. I breathe deep as I try to catch my breath. Holy crap! He is an awesome kisser. Bringing a finger up to my lips, they feel tender and puffy.

  He smiles down at me.

  “You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that, Shorty. It has been torture, being around you and just wanting to hold you and kiss you the whole time, but not being able to.”

  His words surprise me and I wrap an arm around his neck, pulling him back to me and planting my lips on his again. His warm hands run up and down my back and I can feel the heat of them through our clothing. His lips suddenly leave mine and he trails sweet, gentle kisses down over my neck, landing on the sensitive spot where my neck meets my shoulder.

  “Mmm.” I didn’t mean to moan out loud, but the pleasure of his mouth on my body is too much.

  “You’re so beautiful, Abbi. I have wanted to do this for so long.” His tongue swirls on my skin before his teeth gently nibble. Arching my back, I can feel the hardness of his body up against mine. I’m trembling, but I want more. I want to feel his hands on my bare skin, his body on top of mine…

  A sudden ringing interrupts our kiss and he pulls back from me, still staring into my eyes as he pulls his phone out of his back pocket.

  “I’d better get this.” He slides his thumb across the phone and places it near his ear “Hey, Mum. What’s up?”

  Suddenly his expression changes and I see pain in his eyes. “Oh my God. I’m on my way.”

  He puts the phone back in his pocket and when he lifts his head, I see tears welling in his eyes.

  “Jake, what is it?”

  “That was my Mum…Dad had a heart attack.”

  I gasp “Is he okay?”

  The tears are now running down his cheeks as he shakes his head and whispers. “He’s dead.”

  Chapter Three

  Five days later Jake’s father is buried in the local cemetery. It is a cold, wet, miserable day, kind of fits the mood I guess. After the service we all arrive at Jake’s house for a small celebration of his father’s life. Jake’s dad, Peter, was a lovely man. He was a high school music teacher and he was always happy and friendly. He was always supportive of Jake and anything that he chose to do. I can’t believe he’s gone. At such a young age too. Forty two is too young to go. But it just goes to show you, death can take anyone in the blink of an eye, no one is invincible.

  Scanning the living room, I don’t see Jake anywhere. I make my way up the stairs and knock on his bedroom door. He doesn’t answer, but I can hear a sniffling sound, so I open the door anyway to find him sitting on his bed staring down at something in his hands. As I approach him I can see it’s the photo of him with his father having a jam session. Jake plays the drums and guitar and his dad played guitar and piano. In the photo Jake and his dad are both sitting down strumming away on their guitars, grinning at each other.

  I sit beside Jake on his bed. “I love that photo. You both look so happy.”

  He doesn’t say anything, but I see a tear land on the photo frame so I reach over and place my hand on his thigh.

  “Jake, I’m here for you if you want to talk.”

  I haven’t seen him since the night it happened and I’ve been so worried about him. That night after he got the call from his mum, I put him into his car and drove him home. I probably shouldn’t have, after two beers I would have been over the legal limit for sure, but he was in no state to drive and after hearing about his Dad, I had sobered up instantly. When we got to his house, I told him to call me if he needed anything, but I haven’t heard from him since. I tried calling him a couple of times and didn’t get a reply so I sent him a text to remind him that I am here for him. All I got in reply was a simple thank you. I respect the face that he needs space, but I just wanted to let him know I was there if he needed me.

  He places the photo frame down on the bedside table and turns toward me slightly so that our legs are touching. He slowly lifts his head and looks at me. What I see in his eyes breaks my heart in two. There is so much pain and sorrow in his gorgeous brown eyes.

  “Jake.” It’s all I can say. How do you comfort someone who has just lost one of the most important people in their lives?

  He suddenly grabs hold of my shoulders and pulls me to him, his mouth crashing down on mine. It has been too long since I felt his mouth on mine. It only happened once but I have missed it terribly. He cups my face gently with his hands and moans into my mouth. His tongue traces along my lips and then gently pushes into my mouth, twirling and tumbling with mine. His taste is like a drug to me and I can’t get enough. I throw my arms around him and lean my body into his. He slowly pushes me back onto his large bed and he slides his body over the top of mine resting his weight on his elbow. His other hand tangles in my hair as his mouth makes love to mine. A few minutes later he pulls away from me and it’s only then I wonder where his girlfriend is.

  “I missed you, Shorty.”

  “I missed you too. Jake, where’s Vanessa?”

  He stares into my eyes “We broke up. Once I kissed you I realized I couldn’t stay in a relationship with her. She never meant anything to me anyway, she was only a distraction.”

  “A distraction from what?”

  He gives me a small smile and places another soft kiss on my lips.

  “A distraction from you. I was waiting for you to realize that you want me. It took you long enough.”

  He smiles again and my heart warms at the sight. I decide then and there I am going to do everything in my power to make sure I never see the same pain in his eyes that I saw ten minutes ago. My life’s mission is to continue to make Jake smile that gorgeous smile.

  ***

  Two weeks later we are curled up on the couch in his living room watching a movie, well, kind of watching a movie; in between making out. Since the day of his dad’s funeral we have hardly spent any time apart, and I don’t want to sound conceited but I think our new relationship has helped Jake get through the pain of losing the most important man in his life. It’s still early days, but I think he is coping with the grief and not losing himself in it. />
  Jake’s hands are cupping my face as his tongue swirls with mine, his sweet taste combined with the movement of his tongue is making my body feel warm all over. He puts his hands under my arms and gently lifts me until I am straddling his lap, our mouths still connected. He shifts slightly and I feel his hardness underneath me. I have never had a serious boyfriend before, so I am totally inexperienced with all things of a sexual nature, but when Jake lifts his hips again and his hardness pushes against me, I find myself moaning at the pleasure it brings. His kiss gets more intense and I find myself grinding my hips against his, trying to feel that pleasure again. His hands on my hips pull me even tighter against him as he raises his hips again and then I feel the warmth of his hands under my shirt, rubbing small circles on my back. As I continue to grind on him, his hands make their way around the front and grasp my breasts, gently kneading them and flicking softly at my hardened nipples. I throw my head back in pleasure as he pulls up my shirt and places a kiss on my breast, and even though I am still wearing a bra, I can feel it all through my body and down to my toes. As his fingers tease my nipple, his hardness is stirring feelings down below. I can feel my clit rubbing on his cock, and even with the barrier of his jeans and my yoga pants and it is the most amazing thing I have ever felt. I am moaning louder now and this seems to stir Jake on as he thrusts his hips up harder. There is a pressure building between my legs and I feel like it is going somewhere, until suddenly a feeling of warmth spreads through my entire body, coming in waves as I shudder in his lap.

  When I open my eyes, I see Jake grinning up at me with the sexiest smile I have ever seen.

  “Abbi, that was so fucking hot. Was that your first orgasm?”

  Trying to get my laboured breathing under control, I smile at him.

  “Is that what it was? It felt amazing.”

  “You’re amazing.”

  Suddenly, Jake pulls away from me as the front door opens and his mum walks inside with her arms full of groceries. Jake’s nine year old brother, Josh is following closely behind her, also carrying a bag of groceries. Jake quickly jumps off the couch to help his mum and I notice she looks like she has been crying. She thanks Jake quietly and then makes her way upstairs. I rise from the chair and follow Jake into the kitchen; I whisper in his ear that I’m heading home and that his mum looked a little upset. He pulls me to him and gives me a sweet soft kiss.

  “Thanks, Shorty. I’ll call you later.”

  “Okay, I’ll talk to you later. See you later Josh.” He glances up at me with a small smile and goes back to putting the groceries away.

  Later that night I’m lying on my bed reading about my current book boyfriend, but all I can picture in my mind is the dark haired, brown eyed boy that has completely taken over my heart, when my phone rings. Jake’s picture flashes up on the screen and I grin as I answer the call.

  “Hey you.”

  “Hi, Shorty.” His voice sounds a little strained. I hope everything is okay.

  “Is everything alright, Jake?” He sighs and it takes him a few seconds to answer.

  “My mum had a meeting with their accountant today. She found out that dad’s life insurance policy is only enough to pay off most of the house. But there’s a huge chunk of my parent’s mortgage owing, not to mention personal loans for their cars and mine.” Jakes SUV had been his eighteenth birthday gift from his parents three months ago.

  His next words surprise me. “Mum said we need to sell the house and their cars to cover the mortgage and loans.”

  “But, Jake, where will you live? Hopefully you won’t have to move too far away from me.” I was joking but the silence on the other end frightens me.

  “Jake?”

  “We’re moving in with my Aunt Kathryn.”

  As my brain processes what he just said it also realises that Aunt Kathryn lives on the other side of the country, in Perth. I’m speechless.

  “Shorty?”

  “I…I don’t know what to say, Jake. When is this happening?”

  “Too soon…next week.”

  I suddenly can’t move…can’t speak. I can’t believe this is happening. Jake has just lost his father and now he will lose his home, his school, his friends, his girlfriend and best friend.

  Finally, finding my voice again I ask.

  “Isn’t there some other way, Jake? Don’t you have any other relatives that live closer?”

  “My mum’s sister is our only living relative. It’s happening, Baby. I hate that it is, but I understand why it needs to happen. My mum won’t cope if we stay here. I’ve been thinking about it all afternoon and I think it will work. I can fly back here a couple times a year; you could come visit me out there. We can make it work.”

  What the hell? Is he seriously considering a long distance relationship?

  “Jake, we’ve seen each other practically every day for the last eleven years.” I can feel the tears welling in my eyes. “How…I can’t do it.” Blinking back the tears I take a deep breath. “I don’t want you to go.”

  “I have to go, Shorty. Mum and Josh need me.” His calm voice worries me; he’s already accepted our fate. This can’t be happening.

  “I need you.” The silence on the other end chills my bones. I know I’m being selfish. His mum just lost her husband; she needs both of her sons with her. I just can’t imagine not being able to see him whenever I want.

  “What about school, Jake? There are only three more months until we graduate and then we go off to Uni.” We applied and had both been accepted to the same University in Sydney. We will both be doing degrees, Jake in business and me in Secondary Education. “What about Uni, Jake?”

  “Abbi, there are Universities in Perth.”

  “Hmmm, well…it sounds like you’ve thought this all through. I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I hang up the phone before I beg him to stay with me. I know that he needs to do this for his family; I just can’t stand the thought of not seeing his beautiful face every day.

  Chapter Four

  The next day at school, for the first time in my life, I actually try to avoid seeing Jake. I know I’m being petty and acting like a spoiled brat, but, I’m just not ready to accept that he will be leaving me. If I had any kind of sense I would be making the most of our last week together, but call me stubborn, I can’t face that reality yet. My heart is slowly breaking as I think of him leaving me soon. I don’t know how I am going to cope without him in my life.

  At lunch, I drag Lacie to the café down the road to avoid seeing Jake. After buying our lunch, we sit down at an outdoor table with our sandwiches and smoothies. I eat in silence, while Lacie watches me with a concerned look.

  “So, at the risk of sounding like a bitch, I think you are being childish.”

  Sighing, I can’t disagree with her.

  “I know, Lacie. I just can’t see him yet. When I see him, all I’m going to think about is that he is leaving me.” When I had told Lacie about what happened between me and Jake at Grace’s party, she hadn’t been surprised at all. She told me she was only surprised it had taken me so long to make a move on him.

  “Sweets, you can’t change what will happen by avoiding him. He is leaving whether you like it or not. You need to make the most of the little bit of time you have left with him.”

  I know she’s right, but it’s just so hard.

  We finish our food in silence, my head aching from the worry and the stress, before heading back to school.

  He’s only in one of my classes, History, in the afternoon. So I tell the lady at administration that I feel sick and head home just before our History lesson is due to start. My parents are both at work and my sister, Cameron is still at school and then has Ballet class in the afternoon, so I have the house to myself until at least five o’clock. Throwing my bag and car keys on the kitchen table, I walk into the living room and switch on the TV. For the next fifteen minutes I mindlessly stare at the screen, wondering how the hell I am going to cope without Jake, already feeli
ng the loneliness that will come with him leaving.

  Just as the tears start to well in my eyes, I hear the doorbell. Not even bothering to wonder who it could be, I throw open the door to see Jake standing there with a sad look in his eyes. My heart is breaking. I throw myself into his arms and curl myself around him. I hang on tight and don’t want to let him go. He effortlessly picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. He carries me through to the living room with me hanging off him like a monkey and falls down onto the couch with me straddling his lap.

  Lifting my head I look into his sad eyes and apologise for avoiding him all day.

  Giving me a sad smile, he shakes his head.

  “I know you’re upset, Shorty. But it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. I know we can make it work. We will both be at Uni, so we will have plenty to keep us busy and then when you’ve finished your degree, you can move over to Perth.”

  “That’s four years away!”

  “I know. But the time will go quick and it’s not like we won’t see each other at all. Like I said we can visit each other.”

  Nodding my head, I snuggle into his chest and tuck my head under his chin. Breathing in his yummy scent I relax my body and close my eyes.

  ***

  I wake to his voice a little while later. Damn, so much for making the most of our time together. Looking down at my watch, I realise I’ve been asleep for almost an hour.

  “Sorry to wake you up, Shorty, but I have to go home. I need to get started on dinner before Josh gets home from practice.”

  Rubbing my tired eyes I glance at his face.

  “Did you fall asleep too?”

  “Nah.”

  “So you just sat here and let me drool all over you?”

  “I like holding you.”

  Leaning forward I place a sweet kiss on his lips.

  “You’re so sweet.” Standing up, I walk him to the door, my hand squeezing his.