Could This Be Love?

by Lee Kilraine

  “Of course I have food. I pay a nice lady to stock up my kitchen before I come home.” Sijan walked over and opened the refrigerator and looked at all the food. He turned and raised an eyebrow at Avery.

  “The good stuff.” She didn’t see anything in his fridge from the chocolate food group.

  He pointed into the fridge. “Chicken, steak, shrimp, eggs. Greek salads, romaine salads, avocados. Fresh fruit, low-sodium mineral water, fontina cheese, goat cheese, fresh parmesan. I even have a bottle of Dom Perignon.”

  “Fine. Hand that over. I’ll get drunk if I can’t eat.” Avery knew she was on the verge of a panic attack. The kind that only breathing into a brown bag or eating a—

  “I need a cupcake.”

  Sijan shut the fridge without taking the bottle of champagne out. “You need a cupcake?”

  “Yes. I really do.” Avery’s breathing sped up. And then the wheezing started. “I’ll call P . . . Pia.”

  “Do you have asthma? Is there an inhaler in your purse?”

  Avery shook her head frantically as she dialed Pia’s number with shaking hands. By the time Pia answered, all she could do was wheeze into the phone. She shoved the phone to Sijan and mimicked eating food since she couldn’t catch her breath to speak.

  Sijan grabbed the phone. “Yeah, Pia, does Avery have an inhaler? She’s having trouble breathing. No, I don’t have a cupcake. A Twinkie?” Throwing a worried look at Avery, he paced quickly to the walk-in pantry, returning with a box of Twinkies. He shoved the phone between his ear and shoulder, tore open the box, and peeled the plastic off a Twinkie. With steady hands, he guided the mini cake into her mouth. Her breathing calmed with the first bite. She grabbed the dessert out of his hand and sat in the nearest chair to eat and breathe.

  “Okay, well, she’s breathing normally again. Thanks.” Sijan ended the call and tossed her phone on the granite counter behind him. “How long have you been having panic attacks?”

  Avery closed her eyes and filled her lungs with air. She opened her eyes, and used a paper napkin from a basket on the table to wipe a few stray crumbs from her lips. “Since I was seventeen. But I haven’t had one in five years. This is the first since I left Hollywood.”

  “And the Twinkies?”

  “Cupcakes work better, but Twinkies and a brown paper bag are my emergency back-ups.” She gave a self-depreciating laugh when she saw the look in his eyes. “I know. A therapist explained it years ago. Basically, I’m a hot mess.”

  Sijan raised an eyebrow at her. “You solved it with cupcakes. Which sure beats the sex, drugs, or alcohol the rest of Hollywood uses.”

  “I solved it by leaving Hollywood. And if I could get away from you Hollywood types, maybe I wouldn’t be eating Twinkies again.” Now that moving oxygen in and out of her lungs was handled, Avery looked around the kitchen. The cabinets appeared to be original. A little scratched but warmed up with what smelled like a light coat of lemon oil. The wood plank floors had a well-worn patina. Although the appliances looked updated, they weren’t top of any line. Just standard new appliances, probably because the others had died. The dark, sleek granite counters were the only nod to style. “I like your kitchen. It’s cozy, like one a happy grandmother would bake cakes in.”

  “I bought this farm three years ago and haven’t had time to renovate it. Ty’s been itching to have at it, but I want to be here to help, and my career’s been too crazy.”

  “I guess an Oscar nomination will do that.”

  Sijan picked up the box of Twinkies and moved them to the counter beside the coffee machine. “Well, you would know.” He got a glass out of the cabinet and filled it with water from the dispenser in the refrigerator door.

  “Oh, you Googled me, did you?”

  Sijan’s gaze burned into her like molten silver as he handed her the glass of water. “Honey, you and I both know I did more than Google you.”

  If his knowing, lopsided grin hadn’t melted her bones, she would have had the backbone to get up and smack him. Maybe redirection would be safer. “Why did you bother to change out the counters?”

  “I’ve got granite out in L.A., and forgot where I was. Hot pots and sharp knives on Formica? As Ty said, no bueno. He put in granite to avoid a repeat.” His gaze pierced her, unwilling to move to a safer topic. “What I can’t figure out is—”

  Dirk entered the kitchen from the hallway leading to the guest room. “Sijan, I would not have pictured you living in a house like this. You’re blowing your image, man.”

  Sijan raised an eyebrow at him. “No black marble orgy-sized bathtubs?”

  “I’ve been to your place in Hollywood. The party you gave after Hangman wrapped up filming? Ka-bling, baby. That place is state of the art and luxurious. I guess a house in this town isn’t worth the investment.”

  “I wouldn’t say that. I’ve sunk money in the farm, just not where your Hollywood brain would think. Except the addition with the theater and gym. I’m sure those will get your approval.”

  “Sweet.” Dirk rubbed his hands together and sat in a chair next to Avery. “I can’t wait to use them both.”

  Avery watched Dirk’s attention slide to her. He hadn’t changed much in the five years since she’d last seen him. He had been twenty-four to her twenty-one when they’d met on the set of her last movie. On day one, he’d targeted her with his charm, and it hadn’t taken her wounded soul long to fall for him. When he’d told her he loved her, she’d believed it whole-heartedly. Until she’d caught him using the same lines on another cast member a few weeks later. Good ol’ Dirk had been sleeping his way through the female cast.

  “Avery, I bet you never thought you’d be making a movie with me again.” Dirk leaned back with his hands behind his neck, elbows spread out beside his head.

  “You couldn’t be more right.” Avery had planned never to make any movie again. Ever. Let alone with Ferret Face.

  Dirk grinned. “Lucky for you, you get both me and Sijan in your come-back film. You can ride our coattails back to success, baby.”

  Avery took a sip of water before speaking. “Dirk, as fun as that sounds, I hope to pass on that honor. I’m hoping Sijan’s brother discovers the contracts are a worthless fraud and I can head back to my boring, humdrum, unsuccessful life.”

  “Sure you do.” Dirk winked at her. “You’re right. It’s more dramatic to say you were forced back into acting. Hell, the fans will eat it up. Great angle. I forgot how smart you are.”

  It wasn’t even worth the effort. Avery glanced at Sijan to gauge what he was thinking, but his face was impossible to read.

  Dirk got up from the chair and started pacing. “I am so totally stoked about this. Why don’t we decide on our project?”

  “Why don’t we wait until Paxton gets back to us?” Avery said.

  “Avery, Jerry is the best. The odds are lower than low that those contracts don’t withhold scrutiny. We might as well start discussing what we want to film.”

  Avery was sure she was having an out-of-body experience. Was she the only sane one in the group? “This is ridiculous. Not only do I not want to act, let alone with you two, but I haven’t acted for five years.”

  Sijan had the nerve to look amused.

  “It’s not like I want to hitch my wagon to your star either. I don’t even know if you can act.” Sijan crossed his arms over his chest. “While you were taking Hollywood by storm, I was finishing my BFA and performing Shakespeare. It’s possible you made it in Hollywood on your looks alone and can’t act your way out of a paper bag.”

  “Holy crap, you’ve never seen one of Ariel’s movies?” Dirk asked before directing the conversation back to where he wanted it. “Sijan, I heard you’ve got two of Hollywood’s biggest directors on the line with two separate scripts. Why don’t we pick one of them and invite them in on the project?”

  Avery shook her head. “No.” Her breath hitched and, oh, lord, was she wheezing again?

  “Yeah, not going to happen,” Sijan said. �
�I got a few more details from Jerry. This will be an ultra-low budget Indie project, and I’ll be the director and producer.”

  Dirk deflated on the spot. “No Spielberg? No hot script?”

  “Nope. I’ve got a box of half-decent scripts in my study. Avery, since you seem to have invested so much effort into getting us all here, why don’t you read through them? Take your time. You pick.”

  Avery would have snorted, but why waste precious oxygen? If he believed she would try to trick him into a pregnancy, then he’d certainly believe she was scheming enough to use him to jump-start her career.

  “What? Hey—I’ve got as much at stake—”

  “No, Ferris, you don’t.” Sijan’s gaze locked onto Dirk’s. “What you’ve got is a large female fan club because you look great on a thirty-by-seventy-foot screen. Your acting is shallow, and you’re a liability to other actors because you don’t give us enough to work off.”

  “Fine. Lead me to them, please.” No way was Avery going to let Dirk pick the film project.

  Sijan led Avery to his office in the front corner of the house. The masculine decor of dark wood and oversized leather furniture was offset by a large bay window that looked out over rolling pastures and farmland.

  “It’s beautiful,” Avery said. “It looks like it goes on forever.”

  Sijan reached into the corner closet and hefted a box off a shelf. “It’s about a hundred and fifty acres.” He placed the box on the floor next to the couch and stood back up to look out the window also. “There’s a livestock barn and a riding ring, a couple of buildings for equipment and storage. Maybe even a chicken coop or two. I’ll take you on a tour tomorrow if you’re actually interested and not just trying to change the subject.”

  “It looks like an active farm.” Avery glanced at him, noticing the genuine smile on his face when he looked out at the land. She refused to let his good looks affect her. “Crops. I saw crops and I thought I heard a goat or two on the way in. How do you run it from Hollywood?”

  “I don’t right now. I co-op it out to locals. A few of the nearby colleges have experiments going with minimal water crops, organic farming, and free-range chickens.” He shook his head, then turned back to the room. “Okay, here’s the box of screenplays. Have at ’em. Dirk and I are going to the gym at the back of the house, then the theater, which is above the gym. All set?”

  “Yes. Thank you.” Avery watched him leave, then plopped down on the couch with a groan. How in the world was she going to live through working up close with this man and not have her heart broken? Her head kept reminding her how quick he had been to accuse her, but her body just wanted to wrap itself around Sijan Cates like plastic wrap on a side of beef.

  She had to stop. She’d been through worse, right? Focus on getting through this as fast as possible. Pick the shortest screenplay in the box with the shallowest script, and film it at light speed. In fact, she could probably even find a short script with superfluous scenes just begging to be cut out. And with that goal in mind, she dug into the box, looking for the script that would produce the shortest, most boring film in the history of cinema.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Sijan Cates was frustrated, and it had nothing to do with being forced into an acting project he knew he was going to hate. It had everything to do with the blonde living under his roof just a few rooms away. Her perfume lingered in every room she’d been in. A whisper-light scent of vanilla and roses, just enough to tease a man and leave him wanting more. No woman had ever affected him this way, and it was pissing him off that Avery was the very thing he was trying to get away from in Hollywood. The fact that he had fallen hard for her when she was scheming and using him from every angle she could think of stuck in his craw. And his gut and chest and . . . yeah, he felt it everywhere, damn her.

  This morning, after his dose of caffeine, thanks to not sleeping well on account of that vanilla-rose scent invading his thoughts, he was taking Avery and Pia on a tour of the farm while they waited for Paxton to contact them. Paxton had called him late last night and let him know the contracts looked solid, but he was waiting for one more return phone call. Sijan would wait for the final confirmation before telling Avery. Not that he expected her to be disappointed. Every sign seemed to point to this having been her ultimate goal from the beginning.

  If he could just keep his hands off her, he could make it through the next few weeks, and then write off this chapter of his life as a big fat-ass learning experience. He followed the scent of vanilla, roses, and . . . maple syrup out to his kitchen. Pia stood at the stove flipping pancakes while Avery sat on a stool at the kitchen island, eating like she was in a competition.

  “Wow. Nice to see a woman eat for a change.”

  “Just grab some pancakes from the stack and eat. You promised us a tour of your farm,” Avery said between bites of pancake and sips of coffee.

  Okaaaay. Pia turned and gave him a warning glance. Warning against what? She motioned her head toward Avery, followed by a quick shake of her head. Oh, right. Like he spoke the secret language of crazy women. He decided to eat pancakes, keep his head down, and play it safe.

  “Hey, Avery, maybe the movie star has horses. Then you can ride to get rid of your stress.” Pia glanced over from the sink, where she was washing her hands.

  “The movie star does not have horses,” Sijan said, digging in to his pancakes.

  Avery kept eating without saying a thing. When she reached her fork out for another pancake on the platter, Pia leaned over and smacked it with a spatula.

  “Stop before you make yourself sick, Av.”

  “Too late.” Avery covered her mouth as she slid off the stool and hustled out of the kitchen.

  Sijan raised his eyebrows at Pia, adding two more pancakes to his own plate.

  “She has issues.” Pia shrugged. “But who doesn’t, right?”

  He poured a stream of syrup onto his pancakes and dug in with the side of his fork. He was halfway through his stack when Avery returned to the kitchen looking a little paler than before.

  “I don’t know how bulimics do it,” she said.

  Sijan looked down at his plate and pushed it away. “Yeah, I’m done.”

  Avery grimaced. “Sorry. But it’s time for the tour of your farm anyway.” She held her hand out. “I’ll drive.”

  Pia shook her head frantically behind Avery.

  “I don’t think so. I’ll drive. That way, you can get a good look at everything.” He pulled his keys off a set of small hooks next to the wall phone and ushered them out to his pickup truck in the garage.

  Sijan opened both the back and front passenger doors for the women to get in the truck. Avery slid into the back while Pia grabbed the front seat. It seemed like a good move, until he got behind the steering wheel and saw Avery’s beautiful face in his rearview mirror.

  “So, no horses,” Avery said looking around the fields as the truck rolled down the dirt lane. “I know I heard goats yesterday. What else do you have?”

  “Chickens.”

  “Oh, great. I love chickens. They can be so beautiful with the most gorgeous plumage. What else?”

  Sijan shook his head. “Nothing else.”

  Avery’s smile slipped off her face in the rearview mirror. She seemed to wilt. “Nothing else? No cows? No pigs? No cattle dogs?”

  He shook his head again. “Nope.”

  Avery looked out her side window; then her eyes met Sijan’s in the mirror. “Not even a barn cat?” she asked hopefully.

  “No, sorry. I’m not here enough.” She looked so disappointed, he almost wished he had a petting zoo on site.

  Pia glanced back at Avery, then over at Sijan. “Avery loves animals, and animals love her.”

  In the back seat, Avery seemed to recover quickly. She shrugged and said, “Well, I like goats and chickens.”

  “We just built a couple of barns.” Sijan pointed out the left window. “This one is for horses. The fencing will go up next. The other one i
s farther out and bigger. That will be for the cows and have a milking facility.” He slowed the truck down to a crawl so they could look at the brand-new dark red barn set on the gentle crest of a hill.

  “Why did you build them if you don’t have animals?” Avery leaned across the back seat to peer out the other back window at the barn.

  “I’m not going to be in Hollywood making movies forever. So I’m planning for the future.” Sijan glanced in the mirror, but quickly glanced away from the view of her stretched across the seat. The last time he’d seen her stretched out like that, he’d been on top of her. He shook his head to clear the image. “Besides, I had free labor. The local community college has a construction program. They designed the structures and built them. All I had to do was provide the materials.”

  Pia leaned down to see out Sijan’s window. “It sounds like a good deal for the college and the students.”

  Sijan shrugged. “Hell, the land was just sitting here. Someone may as well use it since I don’t have the time. A couple other schools have various experiments and projects going on. From farming and irrigation to solar energy and trials for new building materials.”

  They passed a field of solar panels and a hydroponic greenhouse before arriving at the goats and chickens.

  Avery laughed as she jumped down from the truck. “Can I go inside the fence?”

  “Sure, but be careful. A few of the goats are known to take a nibble or two.”

  “I’ll be careful,” Avery said over her shoulder, and let herself in the enclosure, making sure to close the gate behind her. She happily communed with the goats and chickens.

  Pia and Sijan leaned their elbows against the outside of the fence and watched. “Huh, animals do like her. Did she grow up on a farm?”

  “Not even close. She’s never had a pet.” Pia sighed. “It’s a little sad.”

  “She’s an adult. Why can’t she get a pet now?” Sijan watched Avery let a goat nibble her nose while she cradled a chicken that actually looked happy cuddled up there. Had he ever noticed that chickens could look happy before?