Scarred Surrender (Scarred Series Book 6)

by Jackie Williams

  “Your dad did trust you, Crystal. He left you enough money to set up your own business as soon as you finish your course, so he clearly trusted you. There has to be more to it than the obvious. Why make me Emily’s guardian and trustee for all his money until you are both twenty-five? Jesus! Who knew he had so much? The insurance thing was public knowledge but flipping heck, he’s made a packet on those investments.” He whistled out an amazed breath as he turned the envelope back over again and stared at the writing on the front.

  To be opened by Retired Captain James Ellington only in the event of an emergency.

  What the hell did that mean? He was tempted to open it right then. Being made trustee of over ten million pounds felt like some kind of emergency all right. He looked at it once more and squeezed it between his fingertips, testing the thickness. There were clearly several sheets of stiff, folded paper enclosed. He slid it into his jacket pocket. Who knew when a real emergency might arise? Not that he thought a few bits of paper would help in any kind of real disaster, but he decided that it was cryptic enough to want that letter on him when one happened.

  Emily watched him from the rear seat and then threw her head back and laughed as she recalled Saskia’s shocked expression again.

  “And guess who thought she was going to get her scheming hands on it. Did you see her face? I swear she nearly went green when she discovered that dad hadn’t left her anything after all. I nearly wet myself when it became obvious that dad’s will wasn’t as she expected. Good old dad! I knew he wouldn’t fall for any of that twisted bitch’s schemes.”

  Crystal shook her head.

  “Don’t laugh, Em. You heard what she said. She threatened us all but James especially, and she said she’s going to contest the will.” She looked over at James. “Can she do that? He only wrote this new one up two weeks before he died. Is it actually legal when he passed away so soon afterwards?”

  James nodded, not daring to voice his sudden concerns about Adam’s sore throat and his untimely death. He kept his mind on the legalities. That was one thing he was sure about.

  “It’s legal all right. Witnessed and everything. I don’t know what grounds Saskia thinks she can contest it on. It’s not like they were married or anything, and rumours of him buying into her gym are just that. Rumours, not facts. She doesn’t appear to have any legal paperwork about it and he hadn’t said anything to us about plans of that nature. Anyone can see from his other investments that fitness centres are not something he would usually go for. I don’t think she’ll be able to do a thing. Your solicitor didn’t seem bothered, at any rate.” He sounded more confident than he felt.

  Crystal’s tense shoulders eased just a little before she glanced down at his jacket pocket.

  “And what do you think is in that sealed letter? Seems odd to leave you something like that. What kind of emergency do you think dad meant? Does it relate to what was in his will, do you think?”

  James patted his pocket. The envelope sat stiffly inside the fabric of his jacket. It was clearly too thick to be just a few notes on how to invest the money. Too many sheets of paper inside to be hints on what the girls liked for dinner or how to turn on the washing machine, but not enough to be the original deeds of the house, which it couldn’t be anyway as the solicitor had them safely tucked away in his filing cabinet. And none of those things came close to being called an ‘Emergency’. James shook his head and then ran his fingers through his hair for what felt like the fiftieth time in the last hour.

  “I’ve no idea what it contains and I’ve no idea what kind of emergency he might mean either. I don’t know what to make of any of it. I mean, Saskia was pretty convinced that Adam was going to change his will, and he did. Just not the way she expected. She appeared genuinely shocked. I wonder why she was so certain he’d leave her all of his money when he and Margaret had worked so hard to make things easier for you two girls? There was no way he would have left either of you with nothing.” Confusion filled him.

  Crystal heaved out a long breath.

  “He might have. Dad often talked about us standing on our own two feet. That’s why he insisted on us both carrying on with our educations after mum died. Both of us said we wanted to stay home in case he ever needed us but he wouldn’t hear a word about it. He registered with that nursing agency for any issues that might arise from the paralysis so we could carry on with our exams. He didn’t believe in people not earning what they had.”

  Emily shook her head.

  “So why would he leave it to Saskia then? That doesn’t make any sense either. She hadn’t earned a flipping penny of his money, unless you count whoring yourself out to the highest bidder.” She suddenly slammed her hand over her mouth, her cheeks flaming as she suddenly realized what she had implied. “I didn’t mean that dad was paying her to, er, you know, to sleep with him.” She closed her eyes and leaned back in the seat. “Ugh! I don’t want to think about it. It’s so sordid.”

  Crystal slumped in her own seat.

  “It’s probably what she thought she deserved. Ten million pounds for six months with a disabled man. Poor dad. Though maybe it was better that it was for his money. He would have hated to think that she pitied him.” Her tones conveyed the misery she felt.

  James snorted even while knowing that he would have felt exactly the same, another reason he’d not had anyone stay over at his own place since the bomb. The thought that a woman would sleep with him for either the kick or the sympathy she might feel made him sick to his stomach. He put the thoughts away. It wasn’t as if they mattered. He wasn’t going to sleep with anyone any time soon.

  “Yes, well, whatever arrangement they had, your dad was certainly not poor.” He swallowed audibly as he swivelled in his seat and looked at the two young women. “Look, I’m really sorry about this. I swear I had no idea what he’d done and I didn’t encourage him to do it. I never discussed money with him at all. Never thought about it. He had his pension and disability. Okay, so neither of them are great, but you two were never going to go hungry. I don’t want to do this, but I’m over a barrel here. I can’t see any way out of it short of handing it all back to the solicitor to sort out in court and I don’t want to do that either. It’ll cost a fortune to change anything and I’ll feel like I’m going against Adam’s last wishes. I can’t do that.”

  Crystal blew her nose before giving James a watery smile.

  “It’s okay, we know you didn’t do or say anything to influence him. And we know that you can’t hand it all over to someone else. There must be something about the situation that convinced dad that we needed your protection. I mean, why change his will in the first place? It was all left to us anyway, with a few donations to various charities. Something must have happened to make him do something this drastic. Dad really trusted you, James. He knew you would keep the money safe for us until Emily finishes her education and I finish my therapy training.”

  Emily gave out a rough grumble.

  “That’s all right for you to say. You’ve only another couple of months to go until you’re twenty-five. I’m not eighteen until the end of August and even if I get the results I need and go to university, if I ever want to open that art gallery I’ve always dreamed of, I have years of work ahead of me.” She sighed. “I guess that’s why he made James the trustee until I turn twenty-five. I bet dad thought I’d just fritter it away.”

  James cast his eyes over Emily. He wasn’t quite sure how the guardianship thing would work until her eighteenth birthday, but the monetary side of things was set in stone. He hoped the fiery attitude that made her art so striking wouldn’t overspill into their home life. Their home life! He almost groaned when he thought of the other part of the will. It didn’t bear thinking about. He concentrated on Emily’s words.

  “I’m sure he didn’t think you would do that, Emily. He could have just let Crystal be trustee if that were the case. There has to be more to it than we can see immediately. I suspect I can ask the solicitor about the
trust thing, just to find out if there was a particular reason why Adam did it, but for the time being you are my responsibility.” He blew out a breath as the enormity of the situation hit him. “Jeez, I can’t believe this. I don’t know what I’m meant to do. I’ve never looked after girls before.”

  Crystal let out a gentle laugh, the first one he had heard from her for what felt like weeks.

  “We’re hardly girls, James, and I’m well over age anyway. It’s not like we expect you to do our laundry or anything and we can both cook decently. You won’t have to do much.”

  “Yeah, I realize that, but Adam’s will stipulates that I have to live with you until the trust funds mature. That’s going to be at least seven years for Emily.” He massaged his temples. The thought of living with Adam’s daughters scared him more than anything. He was used to living on his own. He didn’t want them to witness any of the pain he went through, the wakeful nights or the nightmares he suffered, and those were simply his own problems. What about theirs? He certainly didn’t want to know about their boyfriends and the like. Not that he’d seen either of them going out with anyone seriously, but things might get awkward.

  He knew all about Emily’s disastrous fling the year before, but that had been cut short quickly. Adam had made sure of that. James had been about to knock on the front door when it had suddenly opened and a gangly young man had hurtled through it, looking as though the hounds of hell nipped at his heels as he ran down the path, but it was only Adam, glowering from his chair as if his eyes could burn holes through granite.

  James hadn’t ever heard Crystal mention a man in her life and he wouldn’t have wanted to know about it if she had one. The thought made him feel slightly nauseated. The image of some random man holding her, touching her, kissing her soft pink lips suddenly leapt into his head and made his heart thump hard. His skin became clammy inside his clothes and he felt sweat bead on his brow at the mere idea of it.

  He opened the car window a fraction and let the cool spring air waft over him, but still the disturbing visions wouldn’t go. He glanced at the woman sitting to his left. Her beautiful eyes looked right back at him. She blinked and sucked her bottom lip into her mouth before letting it go again, where it glistened moistly in the fading sunlight. Something cold seemed to settle in his stomach at the mere idea of any man tasting those lips, and a growl of anger threatened to emerge from his throat. He fought it back down and shook the ridiculous feeling away. He’d known the girls for years. They were like his baby sisters. It was natural for him to be protective of them, especially now he was meant to be looking after them.

  Looking after them and their money, in their house, with his problems. The groan left his lips for sure this time. Whatever had Adam been thinking? Had the man lost his mind! Thinking about the terms of his new will, it seemed entirely possible.

  He only hoped they could arrange the house to ensure each of them plenty of privacy. He rubbed his hands down his thighs before reaching lower to scratch the never-ending prickle irritating his shin. He stopped his hand doing it just before his fingertips reached his non-existent limb.

  Crystal glanced down at his poised fingers before looking up again. She had spent the last two weeks in some kind of daze and it was only now as she saw James reach for his missing limb that she realized how much he must be suffering.

  She had known the man sitting beside her since long before he’d been blown up, leaving both his legs damaged irreparably. He lived with the constant pain and countless operations to mend his shattered bones for years before finally making the courageous decision to have both legs amputated below the knee. However that choice also had its drawbacks.

  She recalled feeling so helpless when seeing him for the first time after his operation. Although mostly recovered but still wheelchair bound, the confusion and panic in his features at the unexpected phantom sensations had been obvious.

  Discovering that there was a condition as odd sounding as phantom limb syndrome had been as fascinating to her as it was horrific. Curiosity aroused, and knowing that James suffered from the apparently incurable syndrome, her naturally enquiring mind spurred her into taking an alternative therapy course.

  Four years later and nearing the end of her training, she wanted to help him. Not only could he still feel his broken limbs but also the imagined pain of the surgery and, though he mostly managed to hide it, she couldn’t bear to see him in agony still.

  Putting the tragedy of her father’s death and his surprising will out of her mind for a moment, she frowned with concern.

  “Troubling you again?” She knew he hated a fuss but had to ask.

  He nodded as he huffed out a frustrated breath. Though he would tell most people a lie and say that he was fine, he couldn’t conceal his discomfort from her. She knew him far too well.

  “I don’t often say it aloud, but sometimes wish I’d never elected to have them amputated. It’s as bad as it was when the breaks wouldn’t mend. The only advantage of the prosthetics is that I can walk without crutches, but the throbbing and itching never went away right from the word go. I’ve tried everything to stop it, but even injected painkillers don’t really help. I guess I’ll just have to live with it.” He winced again.

  From the expression on his face and the way the muscle suddenly ticked in his jaw, Crystal could only imagine that a sharp pain had shot up the front of his leg and settled into a deep, pounding ache somewhere just below his real knee. She stared at him, appalled at the thought of the daily agonies he went through.

  “I wish there was something I could do. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have an itch that’s impossible to scratch or an ache that cannot possibly be there. It must be more than frustrating.” Genuine concern swamped her and the pain that settled in his eyes was almost more than she could bear. It wasn’t pity that she felt. She’d been around disabled people for far too long to feel anything like that. She knew that he just wanted to get on with his life. Her sympathy was a sincere and she hoped that there was a cure for him. Maybe one that with her newfound training, she could facilitate. She wished that she’d noticed his distress far sooner, but the agony of losing her father clouded her vision.

  Blinking slowly, she made up her mind to pay more attention to the man before her. After all, she’d never had a problem thinking about him before. She felt heat rise into her cheeks. Thoughts of him took up entirely too much of her time normally. She shoved away her own problems and concentrated on his.

  James couldn’t stop looking at her, a strange feeling settling over him as seconds passed and her expressions changed. She really did care about him? Her tone had told him as much but the understanding still shocked him. Did she care more than he knew? His heart pounded erratically as she blinked slowly, her long lashes glistening with unshed tears. No, she couldn’t feel anything for a man as broken as him. And he didn’t want her to! He was her father’s friend, that was all, and Adam had trusted him enough to care for his girls. He forced his heart rate back to normal and tore his gaze away from hers to stare gloomily out of the window.

  “I can’t believe that it’s all in my mind and wouldn’t think it possible if it wasn’t a well documented syndrome that many amputees suffer. Why I thought that I would be immune, I have no idea. What peeves me off is that I only had the damned things lopped off due to the agony. I can get around easily enough now, but the lingering sensations are a pain in the arse.” He dared a glance back at her and tried to lighten the atmosphere. “I fell out of bed the other night. Could have sworn I was just going to land on my feet and the next second I not only have cramp in my imagined feet, but carpet burns on my backside and a very bruised ego.”

  Crystal still didn’t smile. She reached out and took hold of his hand, squeezing his fingers gently.

  “Don’t joke, James. We know how much you keep from us. We only want to help.”

  James closed his fingers around hers and then let go quickly as his heart suddenly lurched again.

&nb
sp; “I know you care, but if I don’t laugh about it I’d definitely think about having a good cry.” He let out an uneasy chuckle.

  Emily leaned over from the back of the car and rested her chin on the back of the driver’s seat. Being that much younger than her sister, he didn’t think she could remember a time when he hadn’t suffered.

  “Maybe you can use some of the money dad left to get another opinion. There must be something you can do. We wouldn’t mind if you used the money like that, would we, Crystal?” She looked over at her sister, an all too knowing expression on her face.

  Crystal shook her head immediately.

  “Of course not. We’d do anything to see you pain free, James. There must be other treatments. You still haven’t tried acupuncture or...” She was about to say more but James shook his head, stalling her before she could suggest the one thing he knew couldn’t work.

  “I know you think alternative therapies will help but I’m equally sure that they won’t, and I’m not using your money for anything that can’t be cured. It wasn’t left in my care for me to waste.”

  Crystal smiled brightly at him.

  “Making you better isn’t wasting it. I was about to remind you that you haven’t tried hypnosis yet. I could test my new skills out on you. At least it would be free and you never know, it might actually work.”

  Her enthusiasm and belief in her ability to help touched him, but he sighed and shook his head.

  “It won’t.” He held up his hand as she looked about to argue. He wasn’t about to discuss the merits or otherwise of the therapy course she had all but completed. She had been studying alternative methods to treat illness and pain for the last four years in the hope that she could help people avoid the agonies conventional medicines couldn’t cure. “Look, thanks for the offer, but I don’t want to make a big deal out of it, Crystal. I’ve put up with it for this long, I’ll manage it somehow. That nest egg is meant for you two. I’ll take care of my own problems with my own income.” He knew that hypnosis wouldn’t have any effect on him. It was a waste of time thinking about it.