He blew out a breath that sounded a bit like a laugh. “They went fuckin’ ballistic. We’d kept it on the down-low up until then, but it was hard, not living in the same house anymore. I slept in the backyard, and when I sneaked in to see her they caught us. Her dad told me never to talk to her again. But I went over today; I needed to see her. Bad. They weren’t supposed to even be there, but I guess they have cameras set up now. Or maybe they always did. Mr. Connolly flew in like a demon and started pounding on me.” He tilted his jaw to show her a dark bruise.
“And you hit him back,” she said, more stating than asking.
“Of course. You don’t survive in foster care without being able to take care of yourself.”
All Grace could think about was Tanner. Everything he’d been through. As hard as her life had been, she’d had a mother. And a father, even if he wasn’t physically in her life. She wiped any trace of pity from her face. “You weren’t having intercourse, were you? I’m sorry to ask such a personal question, but I need to know if the parents might press statutory-rape charges.”
“No, we were just”—he shook his head, rubbed his hand through his hair—“talking. That’s the hell of it. I love her. And she loves me.” His voice had thickened on that last sentence, negating that tough-guy attitude he exuded. “She helped me with my schoolwork. Gave me encouragement to stay in and graduate. To become someone.”
Grace sat with his answer, testing herself. Truth? It felt true. She decided to believe Nick. “How old is she?”
“Seventeen. She has one more year of high school left. I just graduated.” He pulled his long fingers through his hair. “You’re going to tell me to leave her alone. To forget her. And I can’t do that. She’s all I have.”
Grace had to bite her lip to keep from expressing the emotion he was trying not to reveal. “I’m not going to tell you to forget her. You’re lucky, Nick. Lucky to find someone to love you and believe in you.” Who would Tanner be if he’d found someone like Dakota back then? Who would she be if Patrick had turned out to be the right guy? Then again, she and Tanner might not have found each other.
“She anchors you. Validates you. You must be a good guy for a girl to love you like that. What I may advise you to do is wait for each other until she’s of legal age. Or work with her parents, but that’s going to take some doing. I need you to be on your best behavior if we’re to have any hope of that. First we have to sort out the legal matter. That is, if you’re all right with my representation.”
“Hell, yeah, Ms. Parnell. I’ll take any help I can get.” He tilted his head and studied her for a moment. “I feel like you understand me. Like you don’t see me as some good-for-nothing, troublemaking kid. You know I have a juvy record, right?”
She glanced at the paperwork in front of her. “Stolen car. Runaway. I have a friend who went through the foster-care system, so I understand what can happen. How hard it can be to never own anything. To never belong to anyone. To be let down and lied to. I do understand you, Nick. And I’m going to do my best to negotiate on your behalf.”
Thank goodness she had something to focus on that evening instead of trying not to think of Tanner.
Which, of course, didn’t really work, since she kept picturing him as she researched foster care, other cases similar to this one, and the system in general.
She also researched Kids at Risk, one of the organizations benefiting from the proceeds of the drift event. It helped kids like Nick, who were either still in or fresh out of foster care. Helped them get a start, find focus, finish their education if they’d dropped out. Not surprising that Tanner was an advocate of a nonprofit like that.
She didn’t want to reach out to the organization cold; going through Tanner was a much better idea. Since she still didn’t have his number, she decided to drive out to the track on Friday morning. She wanted to be back before Nick’s arraignment.
—
There was more activity than Grace had ever seen at the track, with several cars and a few trucks parked in the grassy lot. Gemma was painting the ticket booth blue. She waved, set her brush on the pan, and walked over.
“Nice ride,” she said, taking in the Mustang.
“Yes, it’s perfect.” Grace got out, though she left the engine running.
“Well, you’re early, but we have plenty of things that need doing before everything starts at—”
“Oh, I’m not here for the drift event.”
“You’re coming, though, right?”
Part of her resisted, because she didn’t want to be around Tanner that much. Chicken shit. Of course she’d be here to help. Pax, Gemma—they were all her friends. It hit her then, sucked the breath from her lungs. As annoying as the girls were about trying to hook her up with Tanner, they were thinking of her happiness. Raleigh and Pax, they were being protective, according to Tanner. Even Tom, at the sheriff’s office, was looking out for her, because he saw something in her eyes when she gazed at Tanner. It melted through her, that despite her self-sufficiency and her armadillo armor, people cared. Even Tanner was protective, honoring her chicken-shittedness.
“Count me in, but I can’t help right now, sorry. I have an arraignment later today. I’ll be here as soon as I can.”
“Excellent. I have you down to man the concession booth from five to seven, then take money for ride-alongs, and—”
“For ride-a-whats?”
“Ride-alongs,” Gemma said. “That’s when people ante up bucks to go for a drift ride in the passenger seat.”
“Oh. Cool.” She couldn’t help remembering how hot Gemma said she’d gotten while riding with Pax. “Just put me where you need me. Right now I’m here to talk to Tanner about the organization he brought in for the event.”
“He’s gone.”
Grace’s heart dropped, and she automatically glanced toward where his RV—Harvey—was parked. She couldn’t see it because of the buildings. “Gone?”
“Oh, sorry! I don’t mean gone gone.” Gemma, with her kewpie-doll face and her fluffy blond hair, covered her mouth in a dramatic way. “You should have seen your expression. You do like that boy, don’t you?”
“I was surprised, that’s all, that he’d be gone when he was the one orchestrating this event.”
“Hmm,” the annoying but endearing Gemma said with a knowing nod. “I just meant that he took off first thing this morning. I don’t know where, but he said he’d be back by noon. You can catch him then.” Damn, Gemma hadn’t been fooled for a second. And the way Grace felt at the thought that Tanner had left town—well, that should serve as a warning.
“I’ll be here maybe around three or so, or earlier, depending on my schedule.”
Gemma peered inside the car, running her fingers over the leather steering wheel. “Can I ask you a nosy question?”
“Can I stop you?”
“Nope. You set the precedent, remember?”
“I do. So out with it.”
“Have you and Tanner seen each other at all this week?”
“No.”
“Ah, that explains it.”
Grace narrowed her eyes at the woman, because she saw right through her little game. And, still, she couldn’t resist asking, “Explains what?”
“Why he’s been so…down. Blah. Serious. Grumpy—”
“Okay, I got it, I got it.” Janine had been calling her on the same damned thing. “It’s complicated.”
“Oh, girl, I get complicated. Come on. Me and Pax? Seriously?”
“I suppose you do. But the thing is, you made the decision to move here. Pax wanted you to stay, and you stayed. Tanner isn’t the staying type. He’s made that clear.”
Gemma tilted her head. “Have you made it clear that you’d like him to stay?”
No, she’d pretty much pushed him away. Or run away. When she wasn’t pulling him close. “It’s complicated,” she said again. “See ya later.”
As she drove back into town, she wondered where he’d gone. What he was doin
g. Had he met someone else, someone uncomplicated and free of her neuroses? That would solve her problem, for sure. Except that it felt awful, the thought that he would move on. And he would.
Part of her wanted to avoid him until he did leave for good, but she wouldn’t run away from Tanner again. Grace Parnell was no coward. She’d see him, and when the time came she’d say goodbye with her dignity intact. Even if her heart wasn’t.
Chapter 13
After clearing security, a guard escorted Tanner to the visitation room. He had to pull a few strings to get his application through so fast. The clerk let it slip that John Parnell was experiencing severe depression and not eating, and Tanner explained that he was trying to resolve the reason behind the man’s depression. Parnell was a model inmate who’d obviously garnered respect from the staff, because the clerk had talked to her boss and come back with the clearance.
A large American Indian man entered the room, his eyes the same rich brown as his daughter’s. Tanner introduced himself, and they grabbed two of the remaining chairs left in the rapidly filling room.
“You came to talk to me about my daughter?” John Parnell asked before even greeting Tanner. His mouth was drawn into a tight line. “Is she okay?” Clearly he was worried that she had done something drastic.
“She’s all right, but she’s been pretty off-balance. Hell, she’s completely thrown off. I know you’ve been trying to connect with her after…your last conversation.” His confession.
Now the man’s bearing changed, his shoulders rounding, back hunching. “I know I hurt her. I…who are you, anyway? To my daughter?”
“I met her the day she came here at a bar in PCB. She looked so sad and lost, and I was completely drawn to her. I wanted to make her smile. She’s a tough cookie.”
John’s smile was brief, as though he’d reminded himself that he had crushed that cookie. “She is tough, always has been.” His eyebrows furrowed. “And she told you about me? About why she was sad?”
“No, sir. I had to work hard to find out what was going on, and a week later she finally told me a client had lied to her. For years. She’d just found out, and it rocked her confidence. Her very foundation. I only discovered that client was her father when you called her on Sunday. I accidentally overheard the conversation.”
He seemed a little relieved that his daughter wasn’t going around telling strangers about him. “Did you?”
“Did I what?” Please don’t ask me if I made love with your daughter.
“Make her smile?”
“Yes. We traded bad pickup lines. I think I fell in love with her the first day we met. She keeps pushing me away.”
“Why?” Parnell was all dad now—suspicious, protective.
“I got to her, and it scares her. She’s afraid to trust me, or herself.”
“My fault.” John Parnell’s fingers tightened on the tabletop. “She devoted her life to freeing me. She told you that?”
“Yes. Went into law for you. That’s incredible dedication and loyalty.”
The man’s face softened with the fine patina of guilt. “I deserved neither.”
This was why Tanner had come. He needed to know if the story Grace was telling herself was true. Because if it wasn’t, it could change everything.
“She thinks you lied just to get her to save you. That you used her.”
He nodded, his gaze lowering to his leathery hands. Just when Tanner’s heart was beginning to sink, John said, “I know she does. I tried to tell her, but she was in too much shock to hear. To understand. That’s why I keep trying to reach out. But I’m stuck in here, helpless.”
“Why did you lie to her?” he asked quietly.
“At first it was because she was only a little girl. She screamed at the officers who were taking me away, pounded on their backs, demanding that they let me go. They had the wrong man. I was a good person. Her teary eyes shined with her belief in me. She was the only person who ever believed in me.” Now his eyes shone with unshed tears. “How could I let her down? I already had, more times than I care to admit. Letting my temper get the best of me. I lost a few jobs, but I provided for her. And I loved her. More than anything in the world, I love her,” he said in a raw whisper.
Tanner’s chest felt as though it might cave in. His eyes went hot. He imagined little Grace. Overwrought. Shattered. Holding on to nothing but her belief in her father. “She knows you love her.”
“She said that?”
With the hope in the man’s eyes, Tanner wasn’t about to say that she’d been letting people believe he was dead. “Yes. But when she told you that she was going to law school so she could save you…why didn’t you come clean then?”
“I didn’t think she’d go that far. But the idea of saving me drove her to get good grades, scholarships. To go to college, something I never had the chance to do. So I told myself that my lie was serving a good cause. She’d gotten off track for a bit. Her mother made a point to let me know, to blame me. Rightfully so. My plight was helping Grace get back on track. I thought she’d choose some other major as she went on, but she didn’t. She came to see me often, going over cases with me, asking me questions about the murder, the investigation. Poring over all the paperwork. It brought her to see me, and yes, I was selfish about that. If you love her, you’ll understand.”
Tanner could only nod. “But I would never lie to get her to stay with me.”
He understood, though. The man had lied in order to help his daughter. To see her. And he had come clean. Maybe years too late, but he’d finally done it.
“Does she know you’re here?” John asked.
“No. To be honest, I haven’t talked to her all week. She’s keeping her distance, protecting herself. I came here for me. I needed to hear your side. Because we all tell ourselves stories, and sometimes we make them out to be much worse than they are.”
Like that Tanner’s father hated him. That he wasn’t worthy of even his own father’s presence, much less his love. The same way he didn’t feel worthy of his mother’s sobriety.
“I’ll tell her I came, though. And I hope she’ll understand and forgive you. Until she does that, she won’t find peace.” She would always be asking for lies and truths, testing herself. Worse, doubting herself. And she would push away those who cared for her. “Any message for her?”
“I’ve told her everything that’s in my heart. But I have a message for you: don’t give up on her. She needs someone like you.”
Tanner nodded, then stood. She did need him. And he needed someone like her, too.
—
Grace glanced at her watch as she and Nick exited the courthouse. She had plenty of time to make her first assignment.
She turned to Nick, who lagged a couple of feet behind her because he was too busy checking his cellphone. She guessed from his intense expression that he was reading texts from Dakota.
“Send her one text to let her know that you’re out, that you’re all right, and that in no way can you contact her or you’ll be right back in jail. Per the judge.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said. “But I’m not all right, and I won’t lie to her. I promised I’d never do that.”
She gave him a soft smile. “You will be all right. First, I have an assignment for you. You’re going to help out at a charity event at the speedway.”
In the space of those few seconds, as her words registered, his face transformed from annoyed to elated. “What’s going on there? Wait a minute. Is it the drifting event?” He slapped his forehead. “With everything else, I forgot about that.” He caught up in one loping stride. “Please tell me it’s the drifting event.”
“It’s the drifting event. Specifically, Drift for a Cause. Do you know anything about the organization Kids at Risk?”
He shook his head, but she’d lost him at “drift.” Or had him, maybe.
“I wanted to go so bad. Dakota and I were going to sneak out—I mean, go—”
“No lies, Nick. Remember, you p
romised me that, too.”
“Yes, ma’am. We were going to sneak out to it, because her dad wouldn’t let us.” He pulled twenty bucks out of his wallet. “I washed cars and cleaned porches to score the entrance fees.”
“Well, you won’t need that, because you’re going to work it off. They need help manning booths, selling raffle tickets, all kinds of stuff. It benefits an organization that helps kids who are at risk. I’m not sure exactly what they do; that’s why I asked if you’d ever heard of it.”
“You think they’re going to help me?” he asked, skepticism dripping from his voice. “Like, the judge made a big frickin’ point of saying I’m not a kid anymore.”
“I don’t know what the cutoff age is, but you are still a kid. Even if you’re six feet tall.” She resisted the urge to pinch his cheek.
At the speedway, balloons adorned posts and flapped in the breeze. A large sign at the road detailed the event in bold colors, with a cool drawing of a car going sideways, trailed by smoke.
Nick soaked up the sign as they turned in. “There are going to be Formula Drift pro drivers here?”
“Well, one. Artemis Tanner.”
“No shit! He’s at the top of the field. I’m buying a ride-along with him. Hell, I’ll blow all my money to ride with him. He can show me a thing or two.”
A surge of pride flowed through her at the admiration in Nick’s voice over her Tanner. Well, not her Tanner, exactly.
She parked, and the two walked to the entrance.
“Hey, Grace!”
They looked up to see Mia and Cody up on the roof of the concession building, tying helium balloons to the corners. The pretty brunette took in Nick but didn’t ask the question that was clear in her eyes: Who’s that?
“Hey, Mia!” Grace called back. “Cody! I brought some extra help.” She nodded toward Nick and introduced them. Cody, with his bright eyes and sweet smile, gave her an idea.
Mia gave them a thumbs-up. “Supercool! Glad you can help, Nick.”
As soon as they walked through the entrance gate and into the concessions area, Grace said, “Cody’s a few years younger than you, but maybe you could get to know him. He’s had a rough bit of life recently. Right now he’s living with his half brother and Mia, until his mother gets out of prison. I imagine, though, that he could use all the friends he can get.”
Falling Free ( Falling Fast #3) Page 19
