Dead Weight

by Ragan, T. R.

  “And that’s what I see,” Brittany said, “every single night after I shut my eyes.”

  “You see the blood?” Hayley asked.

  “No, I see your bloodied, sliced off finger lying on the floor. That’s all I see. Just a bloodied finger.”

  “My finger has healed incredibly well. You’ll be glad to know that it’s in perfect working condition and I’ve gotten a lot of use out of it in the past few months.” Hayley held up her hand and flipped Brittany the bird. “It’s not pretty, but it does the job.”

  Brittany gave her a tight, slightly forced, smile. Not the laugh Hayley had been going for.

  “I’m not trying to make fun of your nightmares, Brittany, but I think you need to understand that WE—me and you,” she said, waving a finger between them, “are the lucky ones. Spiderman was evil. And now Spiderman is dead. I’m not going to tell you to just ‘let it go’ because that’s too fucking easy to say and too fucking hard to actually do. But just between ME and YOU and nobody else, I’m telling you to forget about him. That asshole could have taken all five of my fingers and I’d still be sitting here telling you the same thing. Every single time you shut your eyes and see my bloodied digit, I want you to think about your Aunt Lizzy. For months, she watched that asshole torture innocent people. Those girls weren’t lucky like us. Don’t you see? It’s up to us to live for them. Otherwise, we might as well be dead too. Life is too fucking short, the biggest cliché in the book of cliché’s, but it’s the one I tell myself every time the bad thoughts start floating to the top of my brain. Eight fingers, nine fingers, it doesn’t matter. Don’t let Spiderman take anything away from you. Absofuckinglutely nothing.”

  A few moments of silence passed between them before Hayley said, “I didn’t plan on having this talk with you tonight, but I did find something a few weeks ago that I’ve been meaning to give you.”

  Hayley went to where her backpack lay near the door. She shuffled through the contents and pulled out a picture she’d cut out of a magazine. She walked back to the couch, handed the two-inch by two-inch picture to Brittany and waited for a response.

  Hayley had expected to see a confused look, maybe even a hurt look, but she never expected to see the smile that she got in return when Brittany finally looked up at her.

  “I heard that that was your favorite movie before all of the shit hit the fan around here.”

  Brittany nodded, her gaze once again pinned on the Spiderman picture—the real Spiderman with Tobey Maguire hanging in the middle of nowhere right before the famous kiss scene.

  “The next time you think of Spiderman,” Hayley said, “I want you to think of that picture. Don’t let the asshole take anything away from you. Those memories you have of Peter and Mary and that stupid upside down kiss, no matter how lame, are yours to keep. We’re smart people, Brittany.”

  Brittany looked at her again.

  Hayley smiled. “So, let’s be smart.”

  ***

  “I didn’t know we were going to hike,” Lizzy complained.

  Cathy chuckled. “I sort of figured it out when I saw ‘hiking boots’ on the list of what we were supposed to bring.”

  “Well I guess that explains why you’ve always been called the smart one in the family.”

  Cathy looked over her shoulder at Lizzy. “Good thing that woman hired you to look for her missing sister. Otherwise you’d still be sitting in your office sucking down pastries and Rice Krispies Treats. It’s a wonder you never gain any weight.”

  Lizzy’s attention fell on Melbourne as he waited for them to catch up to the group. He was in his element today, Lizzy thought. “Your body is a temple,” he was saying as they approached. “This hike today will determine if you have the drive to succeed in life.”

  “Is he serious?” Cathy whispered.

  Lizzy nodded.

  Standing ram-rod straight, Melbourne wore a pair of lightweight nylon cargo shorts with lots of pockets and a dark polyester T-shirt that fully outlined every hard-earned muscle on his body. He didn’t have an ounce of fat on him.

  A bandana circled his large neck and on his head he wore a beige hat with an up-turned brim and chin-strap that made him look much too serious to be leading a beginner’s group.

  “Everybody has their water?” Without giving anyone a chance to answer he waved his hand onward. “Come on, people, it’s time to go. I hike at my pace, so try to keep up if you can.”

  A woman raised a hand. “This is my first hike. If I lose sight of you, how will I know which way to go?”

  Good question, Lizzy thought.

  “Follow the markers,” he said matter-of-factly, “and watch out for rattlesnakes.”

  Cathy’s eyes widened.

  Another woman began to run to keep up with their fearless leader.

  It wasn’t long before Lizzy and Cathy were trailing behind. With every thigh-burning step up the mountain, Lizzy could feel her resolve melt away like snow on the far away mountaintops. She was out of breath. “Can you believe that guy?”

  Cathy shook her head. “He expects way too much out of people. He’s lost half the group already and I don’t think he cares.”

  “It’s a good thing Andrea Kramer is paying me big bucks to get in shape,” Lizzy said, “since I’m obviously not going to get a chance to talk to the man today. What a joke.”

  Cathy waited for Lizzy to catch up. “There isn’t one person you’ve talked to that has any clue where her sister might be?”

  Lizzy paused to catch her breath. “Nope. It seems Diane hardly has any friends. Nobody knows where she might have gone. How sad is that?”

  “It’s horrible and it makes me think of Hayley. Good thing Hayley has people like you and her aunt who care about her.”

  Lizzy drank some water. “What are you talking about?”

  “Hayley said she talked to you about moving in with her aunt.”

  Lizzy shook her head. “I have no clue what you’re talking about. Hayley isn’t living with you?”

  “She moved out on Wednesday. She said she was going to stay with her aunt for a while. She made the decision less than twenty-four hours after I told her I had a problem with her disappearing in the wee hours of the night.”

  “She doesn’t have an aunt. What were you thinking?”

  Cathy arched a brow. “Don’t even think about putting this on me. I took Hayley in because she helped Brittany. I am pinching pennies right now, but I loaned her my car and I bought her clothes and food. I still loan her my car whenever I’m not using it. I rarely asked her to help out around the house, other than unloading and loading the dishwasher every once in a while. That’s it. And then I talk to her about her wandering the streets in the middle of the night and she tells me a day later she’s moving out. I asked her if she talked to you and she said she had. I asked her to leave me her aunt’s name, address and telephone number, too.”

  “Did she give you an address?”

  Cathy nodded. “It’s at home in the kitchen drawer where I keep my address book.”

  “Crap.”

  “What is going on? I thought you were going to talk to her.”

  Lizzy sighed. “I was, but things have gotten out of hand lately. Between Jared letting the neighbor name our kitten and exercising every day and having too much to do, I’m feeling overwhelmed. And now Hayley. And this,” she said, plopping to the ground and waving her hands toward the hills. “I have piles of paperwork at the office, and yet here I am.”

  “Look around you,” Cathy said. “It’s beautiful. We should have done this a long time ago.”

  Lizzy looked out at the wilderness. They had spent the morning hiking through lush forests and now they were on a ridgeline overlooking a lake and meadows covered with wildflowers. “You’re right. It’s beautiful. But I’m not here to enjoy the beauty around me, or breathe in the fresh air, or to find myself. I’m here because there is a young woman missing. She’s out there right now, possibly wondering if anyone is looking fo
r her. Her sister is up to her elbows in kids and a husband. Right now it seems I’m all Diane has. How fucked up is that?”

  Cathy wore a large-brim hat, long-sleeved shirt and heavy backpack. Her stance was that of a true hiker as she looked out over the mountain ridge. She inhaled deeply and then gave a subtle nod of her head. “It’s not fucked up at all,” she said matter-of-factly. “I’m the one who has my priorities all messed up. You have a purpose in life, a calling. And you’re good at it. You’re the most caring person I know. You care about everyone you’ve ever met. You see the good in everybody. I’ll never understand you, but don’t ever stop caring, Lizzy. If I was the one missing, I’d feel pretty darn safe knowing you were out there looking for me.”

  Her speech was followed by a long pause. It wasn’t often that Cathy complimented or praised Lizzy.

  “Come on,” Cathy said with a wave of her hiking stick. “Let’s do this. Let’s get to the top of Mount Tallac and find out what Melbourne knows about Diane Kramer.”

  Chapter 24

  Babysitters Suck

  Brittany Warner decided that having two babysitters was even worse than being stuck at home under the watchful eye of her own mother. “Did my mom give either of you the password to my computer?” Brittany asked her babysitters.

  Both Hayley and Jessica shook their heads.

  Hayley was staring at the television, but Brittany was pretty sure she wasn’t watching whatever was on. She thought of Hayley as a big sister, but Hayley lived in her own little world for the most part. She was smart; so smart, Brittany figured, that she was a genius, the sort of genius that was borderline insane. “Can one of you drop me off at my friend, Kristin Kilarski’s house?”

  Hayley didn’t bother responding this time.

  Jessica held her cell phone to her ear, shook her head again and mouthed the word NO for good measure.

  “I thought you two were cool. Well, at least I thought Hayley was cool,” Brittany amended.

  Jessica scowled and put her phone against her chest so whomever she was talking to couldn’t hear. “I’m cooler than her.”

  “Then prove it by dropping me off at Kristin’s house.”

  Jessica told the caller she would call them back. Then she crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re a tricky one, Brittany Warner, but it’s not going to work. I’m not going to lose my job just so you can hang out with your friends. For one weekend, Hayley and I are the best friends you’ve ever had, so grab a bran muffin and have a seat.”

  “Can I borrow your phone at least?”

  “No way.”

  Hayley held her cell phone out for Brittany to use. “No long-distance calls, okay?”

  “Thanks!” Brittany grabbed the phone and disappeared in the other room.

  “You shouldn’t baby her so much.”

  “Lending her my phone is babying her?”

  “Didn’t you read the note that Cathy left? Brittany is grounded. She went to a movie after school without telling anyone. Can you imagine what Mrs. Warner must have been thinking while she was looking for her daughter?”

  Jessica didn’t give Hayley a chance to respond. She just kept talking. “Six months ago Brittany was kidnapped by a madman.”

  “I know. I was there.”

  “You really are a bitch.”

  “Why? Because I was there?”

  “You know that’s not why. It’s because you go out of your way to take sides against me whenever you can.”

  Hayley smiled.

  “Why is that funny?”

  “Because you think everything is about you.”

  “I do not.”

  “You do, Jessica. I have never once formed an opinion based solely on disagreeing with you. You’re the one who has a problem with me. Not the other way around.”

  “Then why do you roll your eyes every time I come up with an idea?” Jessica wanted to know.

  “Because most of your ideas are lame.”

  “Like what? Name one idea I’ve had that’s lame.”

  “The Going Green Project for Lizzy’s office.”

  “It bothers you that I care about the earth?”

  “It’s the way you go about doing things...trying to force your ideas down everyone else’s throats.”

  “Wow. Okay. I’ll remember that. Anything else?”

  “You really want to know?”

  “I’m asking, aren’t I?”

  “That’s true, you are asking for this,” Hayley said. “Stop talking to Lizzy about me behind my back.”

  Jessica’s face flushed. “Are you spying on us?”

  “Yeah, I’m spying on you, JessicASS, because everything you say is so fucking riveting.”

  “What did you just call me?”

  “Jessica. Isn’t that your name?”

  Jessica’s eyes were tiny slits now. “What else?”

  “I don’t think you can handle the truth.”

  “Very funny,” Jessica said since they were just now getting to the end of A Few Good Men.

  “You try so hard to be Miss Goody-Two-Shoes,” Hayley went on. “It’s fucking annoying.”

  “Well, you swear too much, trying so hard to be such a bad ass.”

  Hayley sighed. “The difference between me and you,” Hayley said, “is that I didn’t ask you what you thought about me because I don’t care what you think.”

  Brittany stepped in the room just then, her eyes big and round, her face pale.

  Hayley came to her feet. “What’s wrong?”

  “Somebody is crawling around outside Mom’s room.”

  “Stay here with Jessica.”

  “You can’t go out there,” Jessica said when she saw Hayley move toward the sliding glass door and unlock the bottom latch.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  Jessica and Brittany stood huddled by the door, peering out through the glass into the dark, listening and waiting.

  ***

  The lodge where Cathy and Lizzy were staying was average on all counts: food, entertainment, décor. A pair of snow shoes decorated the wall. There was a table with two chairs, a television, all the standard things you would find in a hotel room, but the best part was the view: tall pines and blue skies.

  The two sisters were already tucked into separate and equally uncomfortable twin beds. The lights were out and yet neither of them had fallen asleep.

  “Did you see how innocent Melbourne looked when I asked him about Diane Kramer?”

  “He looked innocent because he is innocent,” Cathy answered. “He said he knew her and that he’d talked to the police and that he was worried about her whereabouts. He wasn’t trying to hide anything.”

  “Wow, love really is blind.”

  Cathy chuckled in the dark. “To tell you the truth, I didn’t like the way he wouldn’t allow anyone to rest during the hike. He pushes people too hard. Everyone is at different levels and this was supposed to be a beginner’s retreat. That was a tough mountain. I don’t know how you did it.”

  “I didn’t even make it three-quarters of the way up. Sorry I stopped you from seeing the view from the top.”

  “Don’t be silly. But that’s exactly what I’m talking about. Half the people on the trail today didn’t make it to the top, but did that stop Mr. Perfect from heading onward and upward without looking back? I appreciate his passion, but he’s a workhorse and he expects too much out of people. Despite all of that, I still think he’s innocent.”

  “I don’t know. When I asked him about Diane, just for an instant, I saw a flash of anger pass through his eyes. It was subtle, but it was there.”

  “How would you feel if the police had talked to you, the girl’s sister talked to you, and now your brand new client and number one fan are talking to you about Diane? Personally, I would be a little perturbed.”

  Damn. She had a point. “Do you mind if we leave a little earlier than planned tomorrow?”

  “No, not at all. I wasn’t going to tell you but I’m meeting with R
ichard tomorrow night. He’s taking Brittany and me out to dinner.”

  Lizzy couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You’re not letting your ex-husband back into your life after everything he did to you, are you?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “I understand if you’re lonely Cathy, but do not go to dinner with Richard. Sign up for Match.com or Fish in the Sea or whatever it’s called...something, anything but Richard.”

  “He made a mistake. People make mistakes, remember?”

  “Yes, I know people make mistakes. Sometimes they make them over and over and over again. But he was never right for you. You married him for all the wrong reasons. You said so yourself. So why in the world would you even go to dinner with him? I bet you a million bucks his new girlfriend saw right through his narcissistic shit and dumped him like a hot potato!” Lizzy was glad her sister couldn’t see her face in the dark.

  “For starters,” Cathy said matter-of-factly, “he’s the father of my daughter. We’ve been through a lot together. And there was a time when I did love him.”

  “When? Why? How?”

  “Cut me a break, Lizzy. The divorce will be final in a few weeks. I’m not going to do anything crazy, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “I’m tired. I’m going to sleep.”

  “Goodnight,” Lizzy said. “I love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  ***

  “Oh, my God! Let him go!” Jessica shouted from the door. She left Brittany’s side and ran outside to where Hayley was using her knee to hold a man to the ground. “Is that a knife in your hand? Do you carry that thing around wherever you go?”

  “You know this loser?” Hayley asked.

  “His name is Casey. Let him go. Now!”

  Hayley took her knee out of his stomach and then slid her knife back into the leather sheath fastened under her pant leg.

  “What is that thing wrapped around your leg?” Jessica asked.

  “It’s nothing.” Hayley took a good long look at the guy. He didn’t look like Jessica’s type. In fact, the idea of Jessica dating at all, didn’t compute. She took a whiff of the man. “Have you been drinking?”