by Candy Harper
Everybody laughed. I relaxed a bit and stopped worrying about what my throat was doing and it managed all by itself, which is the usual arrangement we have, so I should probably stick with that.
‘We were also fortunate enough to enjoy several cultural experiences in France. We were bathed in colour at the Musée d’Orsay and surrounded by history at Notre Dame.
I highly recommend participating in an exchange programme to anyone who has the opportunity. Being immersed in the French language really helps to reinforce all the French that you know and helps you to pick up even more. Basically, you’ve got a week long opportunity to practice your skills with a personal tutor. Also, hearing so much French has really helped my accent. Overall, I’m sure that this trip has improved my French and hopefully it will contribute to a high grade in my French GCSE next year.
Added to that, the nicest part of my trip was getting to know my host, Josette, and her family. This trip has given me education, stimulation and, most importantly, a friend for life.’
I got a big clap. I mean, everyone in those assemblies gets a clap because people are afraid that if they don’t applaud, Miss Ramsbottom will jab them in the neck with her fountain pen, but usually people’s hands are clapping while their faces are telling you to make next term’s report on the knitting club a lot shorter. But I like to think that people were doing proper clapping for me. Lily definitely was. She used her hands, her feet and the heads of the girls in the row in front of her to make appreciative noises.
Anyway, Miss Ramsbottom didn’t clap herself. (I don’t think she can, she’s had all the joy and happiness sucked out of her, so now she’s basically dusty bones. If she slapped her hands together hard I’m pretty sure they’d snap off at the wrists.) But she did give me a little nod. A nod is a ‘yes’ isn’t it? So this must mean she’s going to endorse my prefect application.
LATER
Chatting about France has reminded me of how brilliant Josette is. Once she arrives on Saturday, I’ll be too busy laughing to worry about Ethan. I can’t wait for her to meet Megs and everyone. Obviously, they’ll love her because she’s basically me, but French. And I think their depth of admiration for me is probably enough to make up for the Frenchness.
FRIDAY 15TH JUNE
Today started off ordinarily enough but nothing could have prepared me for the shock I got this evening. There I was, the picture of teenage good behaviour, doing the washing up after having only been asked a mere six times, when Mum announced: ‘Gemma’s baby made me think, perhaps we’ll have another one.’
‘Another what?’ I asked.
‘Baby.’
I had a nasty feeling about this. ‘What do you mean a baby?’
‘You know, another child.’
The horrible truth of what she was saying sunk in. ‘You can’t have a baby! You’d be old enough to be its grandmother! You’d pick it up and it’d be looking over your shoulder for its real mum.’
‘I’m forty, Faith. Lots of women have babies in their forties.’
‘Lots of women in their forties wear jeggings. It doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.’
‘Wouldn’t you like a little brother or sister?’
I looked at her. ‘I’ve got a little brother and I don’t like him.’
‘I know you two row and mess about but—’
‘I don’t like him. Although, if you had another one I suppose I could pit them against each other in a sort of gladiator type situation.’
Mum sighed. ‘Maybe we should discuss this when you’ve had a bit of time to think about it.’
Time to think about your parents making a baby is something no one needs
SATURDAY 16TH JUNE
Lovely Josette is here. Lovely, crazy, noisy Josette is here in my house.
Did I mention she’s crazy?
She was the first off the bus, a whirl of hair and balloons. Yep, balloons. She brought me a bunch of balloons all the way from France. What a sweetie.
When we got back home I was showing Josette how, if you put Mum’s mini exercise trampoline in the middle of the sitting room, you can get from the doorway to the sofa to the bookcase to the sideboard, all without touching the ground. Then Sam came back from football – he looked from me to Josette and back again,
‘Oh no,’ he said. ‘There’s two of you.’
Then he went upstairs and closed his bedroom door and we haven’t heard a word from him since.
Like I said, lovely Josette.
SUNDAY 17TH JUNE
I took Josette to Megs’s house to meet everybody. Not that Josette was particularly bothered by introductions; she just grabbed everyone and planted a smacky kiss on both cheeks. Including Westy and Elliot who were playing an army shooting game on Megs’s computer.
‘What is this game?’ Josette asked. ‘Can I play this? I am very good at . . .’ she mimed taking out a hoard of soldiers in a rain of machine gun fire, in a frighteningly realistic way.
Since Josette seemed to have made herself at home, I pulled Megs into the hallway and asked, ‘Where’s Ethan?’
She looked at her shoes. ‘He’s not coming; he’s seeing Dawn. I told Cam to tell him he could bring her, but . . .’
‘But what?’
‘He said that certain people have got a problem with her.’
‘He means me, doesn’t he?’ This is unbelievable. This is what you get for trying to explain your passionate French fling to the boy you secretly want to date.
Megs put an arm around me. ‘Listen, Faith, you can sort it out with him next time you see him. Don’t let it spoil tonight.’
I sighed, but because I live for others I decided I shouldn’t bring the party down, so I put on my best smile and headed for the pizza.
Later on, Westy challenged us all to an arm wrestling match.
‘No thanks,’ I said. ‘I’m really fond of the way my arm is straight and moves smoothly and isn’t full of shards of shattered bone.’
Westy pouted. ‘No one ever wants to arm wrestle me.’
‘That’s because you’ve got twice as much arm as everybody else,’ Megs said.
‘I will wrestle you,’ Josette said.
Westy looked startled. ‘Really?’
‘Yes, for real.’
Westy grinned and positioned his arm on the table.
Josette got up and went to sit down opposite him.
I had a bad feeling. ‘Er, wait a minute, is this a good idea? Josette’s mum is probably expecting her back with both arms.’
Josette looked between me and Westy. ‘Actually,’ she said. ‘My mother, she will not be surprised if I break the arm. She said to me, do not break all the bones.’
‘Oh well, as long as we keep the limbs in plaster down to a low number that’s all right then,’ I said.
Josette stretched out her arm, then placed her elbow on the table. She wiggled her fingers and clasped Westy’s hand.
Westy’s eyes widened. He was staring at their hands. I think touching Josette was an unexpected treat.
‘Ready?’ Josette asked.
Westy managed a nod.
‘Go!’
Westy was still grinning at her.
Josette threw all her weight behind her arm. Westy’s hand dropped a little towards the table.
‘Westy!’ Cam shouted. ‘You’re not going to let her beat you, are you?’
‘What? Oh.’ Westy pulled himself together and pushed his arm back upright, but there it stopped. Josette scrunched up her face in effort, but she couldn’t budge Westy and he was clearly enjoying holding Josette’s hand too much to beat her and let it go.
We all watched Josette grimacing for several minutes.
Eventually, Westy made a big show of putting some effort into beating her.
‘Next time I will win you!’ Josette said panting.
‘Yep, next time,’ Westy said. And even though he can usually pin down anyone’s arm without batting an eyelid, he was a bit flushed too.
MONDAY 18TH J
UNE
School with Josette was great. The teachers are trying to be really serious with us because we’ve got mocks coming up, but Josette really cheered things up by asking a million questions. Mostly about what the teachers were wearing.
On the way home, Lily said, ‘So, do you like Westy, Josette?’
‘I like Westy very much. He is so . . .’
‘Big?’ Angharad asked.
‘Powerful. He could squash all the people, but no! He does not squash, he is too kind.’
‘Sometimes he squashes people,’ Megs said. ‘Once he didn’t notice Elliot tucked up under a cushion and he squashed him quite a lot, and there was that time he sat on my cheesecake – mind you, he ate it afterwards and didn’t even leave a crumb. Anyway, those were accidents. He’d never use his strength for evil.’
Josette smiled. ‘And he is funny; very funny. Yesterday when he is telling the story of his mother finding his head that is not the real head in her bed, I am laughing so much that I am – how do you say it?’
‘Hiccupping?’ Lily suggested.
Josette shook her head.
‘Snorting?’ I asked.
‘No, like this.’ And Josette mimed what was unmistakably a fart.
Lily laughed so hard that I was afraid she might let rip too. I took a step away from her.
‘Hmm,’ I said to Josette. ‘You two do seem really suited. Do you think you might kiss him?’
Josette gave a firm nod. ‘Yes, I will. Soon.’
I like a girl who knows her own mind.
I wish I had plans to kiss Ethan soon. But he still thinks I don’t like his girlfriend. Which I don’t, but since I’d tried so hard not to let him know that, it seems pretty unfair that that’s what he’s thinking.
TUESDAY 19TH JUNE
During registration Miss Ramsbottom called all the prefect applicants into the hall.
‘As you know, prefect interviews begin in two weeks. Make sure you look at the schedule pinned up on the Year Ten noticeboard and make a note of the date and time of your interview. I trust you will all take this seriously and present yourself in the best possible light. It’s an excellent opportunity to practice your interview skills for when you’ll be applying for college and jobs.’
I rolled my eyes at Megs. Why are teachers so determined that school should be a time for practising for the real world? I know that when I’m a grown up I’m going to have to be sensible and polite and not express myself by throwing water bombs, so why can’t I just take it easy while I’m at school?
This evening, I asked Josette if she thought I would make a good prefect.
‘This prefect is telling all the girls what it is they must do?’
‘Basically, yeah.’
‘I think you will be magnifique.’
WEDNESDAY 20TH JUNE
Today was Angharad and Eliot’s turn to debate. I was quite nervous for them, I knew that both of them would have written really good speeches, but I thought that we might all need those ear trumpets that elderly people had in the olden days when my dad was a boy, to hear them.
‘How are you feeling about doing your debate?’ I asked her at lunchtime.
‘Pretty okay. Louise helped me practice last night, didn’t you?’
Louise nodded.
It’s interesting; since Louise has been here, Angharad has worked so hard at looking after her that she’s actually been more chatty and confident.
When the boys arrived Ethan wasn’t with them.
‘He said he couldn’t be bothered,’ Cam said. ‘But I think he might be in trouble with his parents. His mum rang him at lunchtime today and she didn’t sound happy. I reckon she told him to come home straight after school.’
I felt a bit sorry for him then. Parents are such a pain, always wanting you to be somewhere or not somewhere. Maybe I should make an effort to sort things out with him. Even if he was a bit rude and jumpy-to-conclusiony. To be honest, I’m a bit nervous about speaking to him. Things between us seem so volatile.
I concentrated on Ang after that, but I needn’t have worried about her. She made eye contact with the audience and used the loudest voice I’ve ever heard from her. Actually, she was still a weeny bit quiet, but that just meant that everyone in the room was completely silent so that we could all hear. Which is a pretty good technique really. Miss Ramsbottom should try that one instead of bellowing at us all the time.
Ang and Elliot won easily and success seemed to have a powerful effect on Ang, because as we were walking home from Juicy Lucy’s she suddenly announced, ‘Elliot’s going to be my boyfriend now.’
‘Angharad!’ I squealed.
Megs was thumping her on the back, Josette and Louise started singing in French and Lily danced with a lamppost (mind you, she’s done that before even when a celebration wasn’t in order.)
I pulled Ang round to face me. ‘How did this happen? Did he ask you?’
‘No. I asked him.’
‘Wow!’ said Megs. ‘That was brave.’
Ang looked at me and I beamed back at her. She really has been amazing today.
Maybe I should try harder to confront the stuff that scares me.
LATER
Like speaking to Ethan.
THURSDAY 21ST JUNE
I told Dad that Josette and I had been invited round to Westy’s house tomorrow night.
‘Not another party. Don’t you go to Westy’s house rather a lot? How do his poor parents feel about this?’
‘It’s more of a gathering than a party. Anyway, it’s fine; his house is massive and his parents are sensible types who know how important it is for teenagers to see a crowd of friends on a regular basis.’
‘I see. Yes, I’m sure I’d be more liberal with you if we could keep five rooms between us.’
‘His parents are also lovely people who care about his happiness.’
But this was lost on Dad because he’d started sketching on the back of an envelope. He was muttering something about adding a separate wing to the house.
FRIDAY 22ND JUNE
As soon as we arrived at Westy’s, Josette marched right up to him and asked, ‘Are you going to dance with me?’
Westy swallowed and nodded.
They were quite something. Westy seemed to be working his way through all the cheesy dance crazes of the last hundred years while Josette was a bit more freestyle. She twirled around Westy, and at one point used him as a sort of launching pad by clambering up him and throwing herself off his sturdy thigh. Overall, it was mesmerising.
When Ethan arrived I decided to follow Josette’s go-getting example and I went straight up to him and said, ‘Can I talk to you?’
He shrugged. ‘All right.’
‘About last week. You got the wrong end of the stick; I honestly wasn’t talking about Dawn. I was talking about me, which shouldn’t really come as a surprise because I am my favourite topic of conversation. I was thinking about my own relationships, and I mean they’ve been fun and all, but I was just reflecting that maybe next time I date someone, I might choose someone that I’ve really got something in common with.’
He gave me a long look. I couldn’t tell if he thought I was making it all up or if he thought there was something odd about what I’d said.
‘Okay,’ he said. ‘I probably shouldn’t have over reacted. I just . . . I don’t know. I’ve got a lot going on at the moment. I’m a bit uptight.’
At least he’d stopped scowling at me. ‘Well, I always find Westy’s gatherings super relaxing.’
We looked around at the utter madness going on in Westy’s kitchen.
He grinned. ‘Yep. Nice quiet evening at Westy’s should sort me out.’
I pointed out Westy dancing with Josette. ‘He looks like he’s having a good time, doesn’t he?’
‘He does. It’s touching to see two young people come together who share a love of expressing themselves through dance.’
‘Yep. They’re also perfectly suited in levels of utter crazines
s.’
‘I think Josette might be the top scorer there, but they can certainly pursue their interest in demolishing other people’s property together.’
At this point, Westy was accidentally trampling someone’s bag and Megs was snatching away a lamp before Josette could crash into it.
I wondered what exactly Ethan meant when he said he had a lot going on. Had he rowed with Dawn? He didn’t look upset; he looked gorgeous.
‘What?’ he asked.
I hadn’t realised I was staring. Obviously, I couldn’t tell him that I’d just been thinking about touching his cheek, so I said the first thing that came into my head. Unfortunately that was, ‘Do you want to dance with me?’
He seemed startled by that. ‘Er, remember how I once said that I’m only really interested in doing activities that I can shine at and make other people feel inferior with my skill, therefore boosting my own self esteem?’
‘I’m not sure you ever said that.’
‘But you knew it anyway?’
I laughed. ‘So you’re not big on dancing?’
‘You know how all the little bees have different jobs? Some of them work, some of them look after the queen and some of them probably dance really well, in their bee-ish way. Well, I’m the bee that hangs about saying sarcastic things.’
‘Yes you are.’
‘So I’m more of a talker than a dancer. Do you want to talk with me?’
I really did.
We talked about Ang and Elliot getting together and about how childish parents can be. It was nice.
LATER
By the end of the evening Westy and Josette were looking very friendly. I won’t go into details, but I’ll just say that it turns out that Josette and Westy’s snogging style is equally as energetic and crazy as their dancing.
