Rent Me By The Hour

by Leslie Harmison

  Daisy and Daffy, our ducks swim freely in the pool. Shrek, Rainbow and Smurf’s dad graze the weeds against the first red barn. Shrek helps me out a lot by eating all the unwanted grass, but there’s just so much land for him to cover. I hear our American Yorkshire pig Popeye oinking in the shed. He needs some attention. Popeye needs company. I wonder if the classifieds have a female pig for sale. I walk over to check on his food, and it’s still full. Usually a pig just stays where they’re at and refuses to get up when their owner comes up to them. But not Popeye. Anytime we walk up to him, he greets us. He’s usually lazy, but when we’re around, he wants all the attention he can get. He’s an attention whore.

  After pulling on the water hose I spray water into his barrel. His body is covered with mud so I wash him down. How can he roll his fat body around to be covered with this much mud? He seems to be enjoying his spray. My last task is to check on our two horses so I walk towards the other red barn. They are Quarter Horses named Merry Legs and Buttercup. Merry Legs hears me walking towards her, and she nozzles her nose on my neck. I snag the brush that’s hanging against the wall, and brush their mane. We ride them every so often, and Jocelyn asked if I can put her in equestrian classes. She wants to learn the art of horse riding. I thought it was very simple. You get on the horse and ride. Right? But no. There’s some kind of art form for riding them properly. And for her to learn how to do that, I will have to pay a hefty amount monthly. I will never get to retire next year if I do that. So if a miracle happens where I win the lottery, then yes I’ll enter her in the classes. Till then, she’s shit out of luck. I give my kids more than what normal kids receive from their parents but to a certain extent. I will not put myself in a bind like five years ago. Sitting, brushing their mane, relaxed, I start thinking of Max. It’s been five years and I still miss him so much. I don’t know if I will ever get over him. He was such a great husband and father. Lost in a trance, the alarm on my cellphone buzzes, reminding me to go pick up the kids.

  I head back in the house, take a five minute shower, and dress into a clean pair of blue jeans, t-shirt, and slip into my flip-flops. Jocelyn’s school is five minutes away, and the cars that wait in line extend around the school building. The mother parked next to me waves asking me to roll down my window. Great. This woman is our local newspaper. Her lip is looser than a hoe’s pussy. I know one day I will be the topic of discuss around this small town. I kindly smile and roll my window down even though I do not want to. I hate it when she’s constantly gossiping.

  “Hi Martha.” I send her a fake smile

  “Hello Jacquelyn. Did you know Kyle cheated on his wife? They’re getting a divorce.” She states as I’m shaking my head to let her know I didn’t have a clue. But I’m really shaking my head at her. She’s so messy. If you want to keep a secret, you better not let Martha know. Within an hour, the seventy something thousand people who lives in Baytown will hear about it. It amazes me that she still has friends. I mean, if I was her friend and I told her my deepest secret then the next chance she gets, she blabs it to someone else; I would no longer be her friend. Tight lip isn’t in Martha’s vocabulary. Didn’t her momma ever teach her that gossiping will get her in trouble one day?

  Martha continues, “Well did you know Nancy’s fifteen year old daughter is pregnant? I can’t believe that. Nancy needs to keep an extra eye on that daughter of hers. We do not need babies raising babies around here.” Her cellphone rings. Thank god. She waves her cellphone at me before rolling her window up.

  The joy I’m feeling inside right now. While I’m waiting, I turn my body so I do not face Martha. I wonder once she’s done gossiping to the person on the end of her phone, will she try to get my attention again. If she honks, I can act like I didn’t hear her. I can dance so she’ll think my radio is blasting. But then I’ll be the damn idiot dancing to no music. The shit I have to do to avoid the whispers around this town.

  I pull my phone out of my purse, click on the Kindle application, and read The Hunger Games. If the world ever came down to where we lived like the Hunger Games, I think my kids and I would survive. The sacrifices we do to protect and provide for our little ones.

  The principle speaks on the intercom, and students stampede out of the building. Jocelyn stands by the truck while she chit chats with one of her cheer teammates. Cynthia’s daughter goes to this school also, but she rides the bus. Victoria’s son is in the same class with Jordan. He too rides the bus. I’ve offered to pick Stephanie and Patrick up, but my friends are so stubborn. They said they wouldn’t want to impose. Well that just gives me more alone time with my kids.

  Jocelyn enters the car, “hi mom.” She buckles her seatbelt and smiles sweetly at me.

  “Hello baby. How was your day?”

  “It was good. I made a hundred on my math test.”

  “That’s great.” I wink at her in the rearview mirror. We head to Jordan’s school. He’s in sixth grade and his school is right down the street from Jocelyn’s school. Jordan’s sitting on the bench talking to a girl. I purse my lips trying to hide a smile as Jordan walks towards the car.

  “Hi baby.”

  “Hi mom.”

  “Who’s that?”

  “She’s just my classmate mom.”

  “Hey I’m just asking. No need to have an attitude about it.” I try so hard not to smile.

  Jordan narrows his eyes at me trying to hold back a smile. He already knows what I’m thinking and no, the girl isn’t his girlfriend, but he does however like her and is too scared to let her know.

  “How was your day baby?”

  “It was good. How was your day?” Jordan throws his backpack on the floor.

  “It was great. I had lunch with Aunt Victoria and Aunt Cynthia. Then I went home and took care of our pets. Are you y’all hungry?” Since I’ve been best of friends with Victoria and Cynthia for a long time, my kids grew up calling them their aunts.

  “Can we go to Incredible World?” Jordan asks.

  “Oh yes mom. Please.” Jocelyn begs.

  “Do you guys have any homework?”

  “No mom.” They simultaneously respond.

  While driving that direction I wink at my babies in the rearview mirror. Since it’s only three-thirty in the afternoon, it isn’t as packed. I tell my kids they need to eat their pizza first before they can play the arcade games. Once they’ve finished eating, I buy three unlimited play cards. We can ride and play any game we want within a two hour period. They beg me to race with them on the bumper cars. Jordan wins the first round and lets his sister win the last. Why didn’t he let me win? Jordan and I play basketball while Jocelyn plays skee ball. When our two hours are up, we win a total of seven hundred fifty-three tickets. Jocelyn and Jordan split the amount and they each choose a prize.

  On our way home, we decided to stop for ice cream.

  “Are you ready for your competition Saturday baby?”

  “Yeah. I hope we win again.” Jocelyn licks her pistachio almond ice cream.

  “I hope your team wins again also. But if you guys don’t make sure you guys have fun ok?”

  “But it’s better if we win mom.” Jocelyn drags the word mom. I wonder if every girl her age does that. Like dragging it will make me listen even more.

  Laughing, “Don’t forget your pompoms Jocelyn. We forgot them last week and I had to buy you another set.”

  “Ok mom.”

  I scoop my pistachio almond ice cream with my spoon, “It’s your last game baby. Are you ready to play in the championship?”

  “Coach said I’m starting again.” Jordan takes a bite of his waffle cone.

  “Oh really? That’s awesome.” I squint my eyes at him, “Were you surprised that you’re starting? You should already know that.”

  Jordan is so modest. Instead of boasting, he winks at me then smiles.

  “Well I think you are excellent at football, so the coach better let you play.”

  “Thanks mom.” Jordan smiles before taking anothe
r bite into his waffle cone.

  We head home and before my kids bring their backpacks to their rooms I sign their daily folders. It tells me how my kids are doing in school. We never had this growing up. I guess that’s why I got away with pulling all the crazy stunts when I was younger. They climb their happy butts upstairs like they’re supposed to.

  My kids are not allowed to lay their belongings around the house. That’s why they have their own rooms for. They hang their backpacks in their walk-in closet, remove their shoes and place it in the shoe rack, change into their “home” clothes, and run back downstairs to sit with me in the living room. Mufasa and Mulan follow the kids into the living room and sit on the floor by them. Jocelyn feeds her red-eared slider, and then washes her hands. On Thursdays I allow my kids to stay up an hour later than normal, so I promise to order a movie after they go take their showers. They jump off the couch and head upstairs to their rooms. They each have their own bathrooms connected to their bedrooms.

  When building our home, I wanted my kids to have their own bathroom so they couldn’t blame the other one if it was messy. Our two story home is thirty-five hundred square feet. The upstairs has three spacious bedrooms and each room has its own humongous bathroom. Since Jordan is a fanatic about the Houston Texans, we decorated his room in Texans decorations and memorabilia. His room looks like a Houston Texans store. Jocelyn wanted the girlie theme. She has her room in pink, purple, and yellow. Pictures of butterflies, fairies, and ponies cover her walls. I wanted to give my room that relaxing feeling so I went with contemporary earthy tones. The game room has every entertainment system possible and it’s equipped with its own restroom. Downstairs we have the living room which is adjacent to the kitchen. Our living room is garnished with western theme decors. When we visited Austin last year, we stopped at this Western store. I fell in love with their beautiful rustic furniture. The coffee and end tables were uniquely carved from pecan trees. I wanted to give our living room that luxurious country style so I practically bought everything in that store. The cabinets in our kitchen have that distressed wood look and they’re painted black with white trimmings. The counter tops are white marble. We have stainless steel appliances. I choose the darkest color for our bamboo floors because I wanted it to blend with the living room and kitchen. The washroom and guest restroom is side by side. The dining room is on opposite sides of the living room and we barely use it because we like to eat on the nook or the bar in the kitchen. We have wraparound patios both upstairs and downstairs. If we’re on the patio downstairs, there’s steps to go to the upstairs patio from the outside. The outside is built with custom handcrafted logs. Our home is so beautiful and comfortable. It can be pictured in a country home design magazine. It took the contractors a little over six months to build our home. It would have taken longer, but I was very persistent and pushy. The apartment we were living at while our home was being built wasn’t safe for my kids. I’m in the process of deciding whether or not to add a pool. I’m just afraid our animals will jump in and make it filthy.

  My kids slips into their pajamas, sit next to me, and the three of us watch Rise of the Guardians. When the movie was over my kids are sitting under my arms and they’re both knocked out. I help them to their beds, tuck them in, check my business phone that’s hidden in my sock drawer, and plop on my bed to finish reading The Hunger Games.

  “No! No! No!” Jordan whimpers. “Reach for my hand. Come on daddy.” There’s a pause with heavy breathing. “NO!” Jordan yells as he jerks, then falls on the floor.

  Half asleep, I run to his room almost crashing my body against the wall. Jordan is on his floor shaking. I slowly grab him from the floor, and with tears in his eyes he comes to me wrapping his arms around my neck. He sits on my lap with his eyes closed as I rock him back and forth on the edge of his bed. I can feel his tears rolling down my shoulder. I comfort him telling him it was just a dream and that everything will be all right. My chest caves every time I see him lying there after his nightmares. He has them all the time. It all started after his dad passed away. For a very long time he couldn’t tell me what his dream was about. Once he was ready to tell me, I sat across from him forcing myself not to cry in front of him as he explained to me. It’s always the same dream. His dad is driving to work. Then an eighteen wheeler cuts him off and his dad is balancing on the concrete barriers. Jordan tries to reach out for his dad but the car eventually falls over the bridge.

  It saddens me how much he was traumatized from his father’s accident. First being paranoid once he got inside a car and now these horrible dreams. Once he finally calmed down and fell back to sleep, I lay him back down, cover him with his comforter and I watch him as he sleeps wishing I can take all the horrible things away from him. Wishing it was me instead who had those paranoia and nightmares. I lay next to him for a good hour or so. When I knew he was deep asleep I slowly creep back to my room. I pause and turn, watching him for a minute. Tears form in my eyes, and I run to my bedroom crying myself back to sleep. Sometimes I feel as if I failed. I’m supposed to be able to protect my kids, but somehow I can’t.

  My alarm clock chimes and I mummy walk to my kids’ rooms to wake them up. I am so not a morning person. My kids have two more weeks of school. I can’t wait till we can just sleep in and wake up whenever we’re hungry. It’s so easy waking Jocelyn up. I just say her name once, and she’s up brushing her teeth. Jordan on the other hand, it’s a challenge to wake him up. I have to tell him numerous times to get up, and most likely he’ll still be in bed. We play tug of war with his comforter every morning. Since I keep our air conditioner on sixty eight every night to sleep, it’s very cold in the mornings. Jordan hates being cold and he will jump up in a heartbeat once I pull that comfy blanket off him.

  After we get ready, I drive to McDonald’s to grab breakfast for my kids. I normally cook breakfast for them before school, but since I have to head to the office today, I do not have time this morning. I drop my kiddos to school, and to Houston I go.

  Chapter 3

  “Your car is sweet.” This well-dressed businessman compliments as I’m transferring my briefcase from my Tundra to Mercedes.

  I don’t know if he’s talking about my two seater sports car or my jacked up truck because I think both of my cars are sweet.

  “Oh thank you.” I seductively respond with my eyes.

  It’s back to my other personality. Might as play this role since I’m in Houston wearing my black button downed silk blouse with white hip hugging pencil skirt, and blue Louboutin stilettos.

  He slides in his Mercedes G-Class after checking me out then glances at my two cars again. He gives me a confident nod, I smile, and then he drives off. I take one more look in my truck to make sure I have everything and gladly drive to my office.

  After waiting for the elevators to arrive on the first floor, the doors open and Tony steps out. I guess he came in early.

  “Hi Tony.” He looks at me confused. Well hell I’m confused to. I’m trying to figure out what he’s doing in the office so early.

  He politely smiles at me before heading outside. Shaking my head still confused; I load the elevator with the other businessman and women who occupies the J & W building and head to my office. I unlock the front door, and my OCD kicks in so I arrange the entryway like I normally do, and go through the steel doors to get ready for today. I have to do a two girl show with Becca then with Lori. I have to see how their services are. I’m guessing they cleared the STD check-up. I haven’t heard back from Victoria. Her office would have already called me if things didn’t go well.

  Carmen and Tony enter the office together. Carmen pulls out the appointment book confirming all the sessions for today while Tony does his rounds. I wanted to ask Tony why he was in the office earlier today, but decide right now might not be the time.

  Carmen sits by me sipping on her coffee. “Doctor Bean’s office called yesterday afternoon and said Lori’s test showed positive for chlamydia so I called Lori and told
her what the nurse has said and that we weren’t going to hire her.”

  Victoria knows I don’t like discussing my business over the phone so that’s probably why she didn’t say anything about it when she called me yesterday. “So I’ll be training Becca today?”

  “Yes. The doctor’s office never said anything about her test. So I’m guessing it went well.”