Her Heart's Desire

by Merritt, Allison

  She unraveled the strings of his trousers and freed him from the confining material. His cock sprang up and she pulled away from his mouth. Her hand didn't cover much of his length, but she curled her fingers around him and tugged.

  Eoghann slipped his hand beneath her gown to caress her thigh near her apex. The silky tangle of hair met his fingers. She moved a little, increasing the space between her thighs. He turned his wrist and brushed his fingers over her folds.

  Idunna smiled at him and pushed her hands under his tunic. Her warm fingers ran up his rib cage. It tickled, but he was too possessed by her touch to laugh. He wanted more.

  With gentle tugs and lingering touches that seared across his skin, she helped him remove his clothing. She traced a scar on his chest, then another on his shoulder.

  He savored the light path her finger blazed. It had been some time since his last encounter with a woman. Far longer since he'd bedded a virgin. He gritted his teeth. No need to rush. If she found it pleasurable, she might not dismiss him after she conceived.

  He kneeled and took the hem of her gown, pulling it up her thighs. His fingers grazed her skin, and he pushed cloth out of the way so he could kiss her stomach.

  She lifted her arms as he pulled the gown over her head. The firelight cast a warm glow across her bare skin and she flushed again. Long curls spilled over her shoulders. It drew his gaze to her breasts. Looking away from her seemed impossible. She looked as pure and fertile as the goddess she was named after.

  She settled on the bed and smiled at him.

  He needed no other invitation. Idunna spread herself across the wolf pelt and he stretched over her, poised at her entrance.

  Her hands framed his face, smooth where her palms met the stubble growing on his cheeks. She traced around the scar healing on his face. “Eoghann.”

  “I have no wish to hurt you—”

  She pressed her finger over his lips. “It will take much more than removing my maidenhood to hurt me. Pain is part of living. There's no separation. It's easy to endure when your desires wait at the end.”

  She'd barely finished speaking before he entered her. He hung on to her words, the rhythmic timbre of her voice. A lesson he knew too well, but as she'd said before, what lay outside the bedchamber didn't matter.

  A grimace twisted her pretty features, but she hid it as quickly as it appeared. He moved with care and met her unflinching gaze. Her eyes closed and she placed her hands on his waist, a light touch that encouraged him. She arched beneath him, urging him deeper. Their mouths met and he was pulled into a kiss as hot as her center. Their tongues danced and he tasted the sweetness of the mead they'd shared earlier.

  She pulled away from his mouth and uttered a little cry. Her legs tightened around him. Despite her hold, he increased his pace. Idunna clung to him as another mewl escaped. He let go of the release he was trying to hold back for her sake.

  When his heart stopped thundering and his head cleared, he caught her smile. She'd relaxed against the bed, her skin rosy and her eyes heavy. There was no trace of disappointment.

  For the first time since he was a boy, he thought the gods might have blessed him with life instead of intending it as a curse.

  Idunna's pity had brought him here. He hoped to rise above it.

  Chapter Two

  Brows drawn together, frown firmly set, his dark blue eyes focused on the sharp chisel and hammer in his hands, Eoghann appeared to have escaped the real world for one where the only thing that existed was his creation.

  Idunna cleared her throat loudly for the second time. “Eoghann?”

  He jumped, clearly startled by her voice. His shoulders tightened and he lifted the hammer as though he was about to strike. He blinked when he saw her and the hammer fell to his side.

  “I'm sorry to disturb you, but I thought you might like to come in for the evening meal.” The interior of his shop was hot from the near-constant fire he kept going to melt precious metals. It was warm enough she wanted to loosen her cloak, but left it in place because she'd be returning outside again with or without him.

  “Mmm.” Soot smudged his chin and forehead and sweat cut a path down the side of his face scarred by the burns he'd sustained in the battle of Freysteinn. “I'm not finished here.”

  “You must be hungry. You hardly ate this morning.”

  He was too thin, perhaps because of the hard march from Edinburgh and his travels alongside his brother raiding villages. Or because he hadn't received half his meals while he was Hella's prisoner. The men ordered to guard him had denied him the privileges they'd have given another captive. Either way, his face had taken on a gaunt look and his clothes hung on him.

  He seemed distracted. His gaze twitched between her and the pretty collar-like torc necklace he was crafting. She'd owned a similar one before giving her hand to Ask.

  “It's beautiful work,” she offered. “Did someone come along and request it?”

  Eoghann shook his head. Disappointment made him frown again. “I like to keep busy.”

  Hella's generosity allowed them to afford the shop Eoghann had set up. He'd purchased the raw materials used to make jewelry and plate weapons, but they couldn't accept the kindness forever. It wasn't the Norse way. Sooner or later, the villagers would have to start buying Eoghann's creations or they were going to starve.

  It wasn't difficult to understand why he liked keeping his mind occupied. Their marriage wasn't widely accepted. The women she worked with in the hall had been giving her scathing looks all morning. “Someone will want it. Your skill is exceptional.”

  He lifted a shoulder in a shrug.

  She closed the distance between them and laid her hand on his forearm. “It will be waiting here when you come back. You should eat. Otherwise you might become too distracted to concentrate.”

  He glanced toward the door. Returning to the hall meant facing people who disliked him.

  Idunna laid her hand on the coiled muscles in his arm. “You can't hide. They'll see your reluctance as a sign that you don't wish to be one of them.”

  “I know.” He laid down his tools. “I'll wash before we go.”

  She waited by the doorway, out of the wind, but still close enough that the heat of the forge warmed her wool cloak. The dark gray sky spit tiny snowflakes. She twisted the wedding band on her finger. It was the perfect afternoon to return to her bedchamber and have another attempt at creating a baby. If she could convince him the torc would wait a while longer.

  Eoghann scrubbed the soot and sweat from his arms and face using a cloth from a bucket of water near the door. His frown etched deep lines on his face.

  Idunna's heart sank. He was miserable here. Although their marriage allowed him to escape death, he was still trapped in Solstad. He'd come to his shop to hide from the people who hated him and from the truth of his lenient imprisonment—marriage to her. Perhaps he'd come here to hide from her as well.

  Knowing he no more wanted a true marriage than Ask had made facing him difficult. She worried for Eoghann, whether he realized it or not. From the moment she'd seen him huddled up and defeated inside the small smokehouse where he'd been held captive, she'd feared for him. He'd been convinced of his looming death no matter what kind of reassurances she offered. The moment at the assembly of jarls when Hella suggested Eoghann might be saved by marrying into the clan, she'd known the right thing to do.

  It didn't matter that she found him easy to look at. He was tall, leaner than many of the Norsemen she knew, his features much like Ealasaid's, but harder. His eyes were flat, shuttered against emotion. The first spark of life she'd seen in them came when she told him of her trouble with Ask.

  His pity and appall were reactions she'd steeled against, but they hurt nevertheless. She hoped never to speak of it again. But there had been something much deeper when he agreed to make a child with her. It was more than lust. That was easily recognizable on the face of nearly any man. Eoghann's eyes had contained warmth. He was not merely agreeing
to mate with her, but he'd taken pleasure in it. Last night, he'd made her feel worthy of bearing the title wife.

  Eoghann pulled his cloak around his body as he joined her. “How are Fulla and my sister?”

  “In good spirits. Fulla is growing well. She lacks for nothing even though her mother...” She swallowed her words. One of Diarmaid's men had killed Frú Skuld, the infant's mother. “Ealasaid is glad to care for the girl.”

  “She may pass Fulla's care on to you if she finds herself with Hella's child on the way.” He hung his head as they left the shop for the dining hall.

  “It's not likely. That the king and queen should have a child, I mean.” It wasn't Idunna's story to share, but better Eoghann find out from her than ask an inappropriate question of his sister and hurt her feelings. “She took a bad wound shortly after Birgir's birth.”

  Eoghann's face paled. “I see.”

  “She doesn't like to speak of it. I wouldn't know if not for her thrall Ulrika. It's not a matter they wish their subjects to discuss.”

  “Thank you for telling me. I wouldn't want to upset her and force Hella to kill me.” His hands clenched. “I never imagined seeing her again. The worst of it is, she hates me as much as anyone here.”

  Idunna stopped mid-stride. “Ealasaid doesn't hate you.”

  Doubt clouded his expression. “She barely speaks to me. I don't blame her for it.”

  “She has many duties. There are people to mourn, wounded to tend, a baby who needs her care, her own son to raise, and life as queen and wife to adjust to. She cares for you, Eoghann. Don't mistake her duties for apathy.” Idunna took his hand. “You must give her time.”

  “We're different people than we were as children. We were playmates, closer than our other siblings. I don't wish to be a burden on her. Nor do I wish for the people here to hate her because of my actions.” He unclenched his hand, allowing her to slip her fingers between his. “I want her to serve her husband's subjects as best she can without my mistakes overshadowing her.”

  “We must arrange for you to spend time with her so you'll see nothing you do can overshadow Ealasaid. She has far too much spirit for that to happen. She overcame her position as a thrall and has become a queen people admire though she hasn't served them long. Come on. Perhaps we can catch her in the hall. She'll gladly sit with us even if no one else will.” She tugged at his hand.

  He allowed her to lead him, but he pulled the neck of his hood high around his ears and clasped his cloak around him. She didn't think he did it to ward off the bitter wind.

  The scents of baking bread and roasting meat filled the dining hall. Idunna's mouth watered when they entered. Some of the wounded men took their meals at the tables near the cooking fires, but the hall wasn't too crowded.

  A few scowled at Eoghann. He kept his head down as they made their way across the floor to the high table. Birgir lay on his stomach beneath the table, playing with carved wooden animals. The king and queen sat next to each other on their thrones, heads bent low as they dined and whispered.

  Hella glanced up as Idunna and Eoghann approached. He nodded at her and nudged his wife.

  Ealasaid smiled. She gestured for them to come closer.

  “You see? She's welcoming us and it won't be long before the others do as well.” Idunna squeezed Eoghann's cold hand. “You must tell them about the torc you're creating.”

  “I doubt they wish to hear about it.”

  She forced her smile wider. Later they'd have a discussion about how he had to show some pride or the Norsemen would continue to think of him as the enemy.

  “Your Grace.” She bowed to Hella and then Ealasaid. “I hope the evening finds you well. Where is little Fulla?”

  “We're well indeed. Ulrika is caring for Fulla. Would you care to join us?” Ealasaid gestured at the wooden bench across from her throne. She looked Idunna over, then cast her gaze on her brother. “How are you faring?”

  “Healthy and hungry. Is that not so, Eoghann?” She settled on the bench and looked up at her husband.

  “Indeed.” He swept his cloak out behind him and joined her on the bench. “If Idunna hadn't come for me, I might have forgotten to eat.”

  “Forget too many and you'll waste away. There's plenty to share. Despite the rush to bring in the harvest, we're well provisioned this year.” Hella's voice held a hint of gruffness. “What's on our table is yours as well, brother.”

  Eoghann raised his gaze. “My thanks, Your Grace.”

  It must have pained Eoghann to accept help as much as it did Hella to give it to a man who was once his enemy. Having no such issue about taking food freely given, Idunna served herself a dish of fish soup. She held the bowl in one hand, grateful for the warmth from it and the nearness of the fire. She sat as close to Eoghann as she dared without interrupting his ability to eat.

  “Eoghann has started work on a fine torc.” She smiled at him. “The engravings are truly impressive.”

  “It's nothing anyone with the proper tools couldn't do.” Eoghann picked a roasted carrot apart with his knife and fingers. “I've seen examples of the work the goldsmiths in Freysteinn completed. Mine is not nearly as fine.”

  “Modesty does not become a Norseman.” Hella slammed his cup on the table. “We're proud of every task we undertake. You think your work is nothing? Then the world shall see it as nothing. Idunna will starve if your work is as poor as you claim.”

  Eoghann lowered his gaze. “Of course, Your Grace.”

  Beneath the table, Idunna squeezed Eoghann's knee. “We're not going to starve. It's beautiful work. Perhaps you could design the king a new set of wrist torcs as a gift. If our neighbors saw your craftsmanship, they would surely desire your work.”

  Eoghann nodded, although he'd abandoned his knife and the food before him.

  “Join me in the weaving room later, Idunna?” Ealasaid kicked her under the table. “Perhaps we'll leave the men to drinking and bragging on their work.”

  “I had planned on returning to my room, but if you need me.” She loosened her grip on Eoghann's knee. Her hopes of bedding Eoghann again after the meal fluttered away.

  “Is your task important, my queen? Idunna and I thought we might use the evening to learn more about one another.” Eoghann's hand settled over hers. All traces of his worry and uncertainty fled.

  Idunna's heart raced. He met her gaze and smiled. Warmth spread from her center.

  “No, it's nothing I can't put off for another time.” Ealasaid's eyes lit up. She looked at Hella. “Tell your son it's time to ready himself for bed.”

  “Tell your thrall to tell your son.” Hella rose. He offered his hand to Ealasaid and helped her from the chair. When she stood beside him, he lifted her off her feet.

  She laughed, drawing the attention of nearly everyone in the hall.

  Hella carried her away, their laughter mingling as they departed.

  Birgir poked his head out from under the table. “They might forget to tell Ulrika. Sometimes they do.”

  “You ought to honor their wishes that you prepare for bed. It sets a good example for the other children.” Eoghann leveled his gaze with Birgir's. “You need plenty of rest to become a vikingr king.”

  Birgir's face was solemn. “I don't think Da sleeps much. Late at night he often stands in my door. He worries because of the battle.”

  Idunna smiled. Most days, Birgir was a happy child, but he had his share of worry too. “I'm sure he checks on you because he wants to make certain you're safe. The battle is over, the Saxons are no longer a threat. We defeated them and all is well.”

  “Is it true?” Birgir looked at Eoghann. “The Saxons won't come for us again?”

  “There's nothing for them here. Diarmaid wished for Suibhne, but I have no cares for it. This is my home.” Eoghann's voice was firm. “The Saxons want no part of the Danelaw. Let them battle the men of Strathclyde and one another.”

  “I would fight them if they did come. This is ours and it must be defend
ed.” Birgir lifted his chin. “It's what a king has to do.”

  “You'll be a mighty king,” Eoghann said. “But even strong kings must have good rest before they're capable of making the right decisions.”

  Birgir nodded. “All right. Good evening, Aunt Idunna, Uncle Eoghann.”

  Idunna smiled. Aunt. Coming from Ealasaid's son, it meant everything to her. She'd already come to love the child, just as she loved Fulla. “Sleep well, Birgir.”

  He ambled off, shouting for Ulrika.

  Eoghann's smile faded, but he didn't take his hand away from Idunna's. “I hope you're not displeased because I wanted to spend time with you.”

  “Of course not. I'm grateful for your intervention. I love Ealasaid as a sister, but spending time with her in the weaving room will not yield the child I desire.” She leaned closer to him. “I hoped for your attention after our meal, husband.”

  The fine lines around his eyes relaxed. “I shall do my best to provide, I swear to you. Your happiness is the most important thing to me.” A hint of fear came through in his voice.

  “I am happy. I would be happier still if you would eat. Do not allow the king's good food to go to waste.” She lifted a goose leg from the platter in front of them, then lowered it to his plate. “When did you last see such a fat goose?”

  “A lifetime ago.” His gaze was far away. “Placed on a table I was not allowed to approach.”

  “Forgive me.” She reached for it again, but he stopped her.

  “There's nothing to forgive. I enjoy goose and I shall enjoy it more because you gave it.” He picked up the leg. “I'm famished. Hella's presence is enough to make my appetite flee. Particularly when he displays his kingly authority.”

  “It's true. You must take pride or the others will scorn you. It's not so hard to be a Norseman. Act confident and they will soon forget you're not one of them by blood.” She bent over her soup, soaking the broth with a grainy piece of bread while Eoghann devoured the goose. “You'll grow used to him in time. Hella seems fierce, but he wants the best for his wife and people. You are one of them. If he didn't believe you, there is no doubt he wouldn't have let you live.”