More Than Words: A Novella

by Avalon, Lilly

  *

  The following afternoon, I’m flying through my apartment trying to tidy up before Landon comes over. He insisted on getting started as soon as possible. I emailed him a copy of the unfinished draft of Call Me Back to give him an idea of what the story is so far. That way he’s prepared for the first lesson.

  After I hit send on the email, I made a vow to myself right then and there to keep this whole thing professional. Landon and I are critique partners first and friends second. Don’t get me wrong, we are friends. Good friends. We’re just not the normal kind of friends. Ninety percent of our hanging out revolves around our writing. We do talk about other things, but rarely. He’s the only person I know, aside from people I communicate with online, that I can have writing discussions with. There’s no need to throw a wrench in there by adding sex to the equation and ruining a good thing.

  With every minute that ticks away on the clock, I’m second-guessing this whole thing. Not just my position buddy coming over, but also reconsidering the erotica novel, too. I could still back out. Jamie might want to kill me, but that’s okay. At least I can provide her with what I’ve written so far. The next ghostwriter can fill in the sex scenes like Mad Libs.

  A knock at the door tells me it’s too late. When I open it, Landon is standing there, hands in his pocket. He’s wearing a tight sage-green Henley, the top few buttons undone and showing a tease of his chest. A smile appears when he sees me. “Hey there.”

  “Come on in.”

  He steps inside and looks around. “Nice,” he says. “Although it appears to be cleaner than a writer’s domicile should be.”

  “I may have cleaned up a little bit.” More like a lot. “Did you read it?”

  He nods. “Yeah. I like where you’re going with it.”

  “Yeah?”

  He appears thoughtful for a second. “The story itself is paced very well. The only thing it’s lacking in is the sex and dirty talk.”

  “Dirty talk?”

  He laughs, leaning against the wall. “Isn’t that the point of an erotica?”

  “I suppose…” I scrunch up my nose a little. “Maybe I need more pointers than just positions.”

  His face brightens at that. “I’m glad you brought that up.” He takes my hand in his and brings it to his lips, pressing a kiss on top. “Welcome to The Art of Seduction.”

  His topaz eyes melt me. “I thought this was Sex Positions 101,” I say quietly.

  He strokes my hand with his thumb. “I changed my mind. There’s more to sex than the positions. Most of sex is the foreplay—the words and caresses and everything leading to the finale.”

  A tingling sensation builds up from where he’s touching me and starts to spread through the rest of my body. “That seems a little more…intimate.”

  “It’s supposed to be.”

  “No, I mean this isn’t actual seduction. It’s just practice.”

  “Of course. I just want to be thorough in my training. What you feel will be what you describe when you write.” He tilts his head. “You can trust me. You know that, right?”

  I do know that. I have no doubts when it comes to Landon. What I doubt at this moment is myself. I believe, however, that I can push aside the lingering feelings blooming from his touch. We have tonight, and that’s enough. “Of course,” I tell him.

  “Then let’s get started.”

  Chapter Three

  I thought I had prepared myself for this moment, but now that it’s here, the nerves are kicking in. He narrows his eyes at me. “You okay?”

  “Yes. No. Maybe?”

  “That has to be high up there on the ‘didn’t answer my question’ list.”

  His humor lightens my mood and I chuckle. “How can you be so cool about this?”

  He shrugs. “I don’t know. I just am.”

  “Are you sure this isn’t too weird for you?”

  He shakes his head. “No, it’s cool. I don’t mind being used.”

  “You feel used?”

  He laughs. “I just said I don’t mind.”

  “But you said that I’m using you.” I scratch my forehead. “Maybe we shouldn’t.”

  “Hey.” He leans closer, taking my hand in his again. “Don’t you dare back out now. I came here for sex position practice. How many times can a guy get to do, or say, that?”

  “Probably not that often. At least not the kind with clothes on.”

  “Even without, it’s not as often as you think.”

  “Really? But you’re such a cutie.” I pinch his cheek with a grin.

  He rubs his cheek. “Stop being adorable and let’s get down to business.”

  I hope he doesn’t see me blushing at the word ‘adorable.’ “Fine. Um. Okay. So…” I bite my lip, unsure of where to start.

  He notices my hesitation and steps forward. “Let’s start with the basics.” He turns me around and walks me to my bedroom. “I’m good at the basics.”

  I chuckle. “What about the harder stuff?”

  “I have the harder stuff.”

  I poke him with my elbow. “Precocious little scamp.”

  “I think you mean bastard.”

  “No, scamp. Come on, be serious.”

  “I am. Will you want to take notes?”

  “I should be able to remember, but I’ll let you know if I need to pause to write something down.”

  “Okay.” He turns me around, hands on my shoulders. “Lesson number one in the bedroom: Be confident. Having confidence in yourself is the greatest turn-on, and the greatest motivator. A woman needs to be as confident as a man in the bedroom, daring even.”

  “I’m not all that daring.”

  “You take a lot of risks in your writing and they pay off. That’s daring. Just transfer that confidence here.” His hands slowly trail down my arms and hold on to my hands. “Show me. Show me the tigress you are on the inside.”

  His words are an assurance that I’m capable of a lot more than I think I am. I smile. “Okay then. You asked for it.”

  “That’s the spirit,” he says, touching a finger to my chin. He sits down on my bed. “On to the positions then.”

  “Which one first?”

  “Missionary.”

  Of course that’s the first position. I flare my nostrils and look away. “I already know missionary.”

  My bitterness must be evident in my tone. “Okay, we’ll skip that one. Have you been on top?” When I shake my head, he frowns. “Dana?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Is missionary the only one you know?” I chew at my lip and nod slowly. He lets out a long sigh. “When you said last night about it not being fresh in your mind, it got me thinking. If the memories of your previous experiences don’t spark the feelings attached to them, your lovers must not have been good ones. It’s a shame, really.”

  “Why?”

  “Because…” He reaches out, hooking his fingers into my belt loops to pull me closer. I stand between his legs, him still holding on. “Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for both parties involved. If a man isn’t making sure his woman is having a good time, well, he isn’t much of a man. Those men ought to be ashamed of themselves for not giving you everything.”

  Nobody’s ever been that concerned with my well being before, in or out of the bedroom. It makes me wonder how much I’ve been missing because of all the wrong guys in my life. “Thank you for that,” I tell him.

  “You’re welcome. Now,” he says, letting go of me to lie down on my bed. He pats his leg. “Climb on.”

  I’ve had plenty of time to get myself ready for this, but now that the moment of truth has arrived, my underlying fears come to the fore. The gears are turning in my brain, full of worry and self-doubt. It’s not like I haven’t had sex before, so I shouldn’t be feeling so shy. Somehow it’s happening anyway.

  “Hey.” He sits up and takes hold of my hand. “There’s no reason to be scared. This is practice, right? Even if you have trouble, I’m not gonna hold it against you.
I’m not grading you or anything.”

  I stifle a chuckle. “You mean there’s not a final exam?”

  “Only if you want one,” he says with a wink.

  I can’t hold back my laughter now. It loosens me up and gives me the kick I need to climb onto the bed. I crawl over him and straddle his legs, my eyes never leaving his. I keep my body above his so that our intimate parts aren’t touching. His arms lie flat on the bed, but I can see them twitching with restraint.

  As I look down at him, he’s nodding in approval. “Okay,” he says, a slight hitch in his voice. “When you’re on top, you control most of the moves.” He lifts his hands and gently places them on my hips. The warmth of his palms seeps through my jeans and part of me wishes the fabric wasn’t in the way. “The guy can still move a little, but it’s mostly on you.”

  I nod. It makes sense; I’ve heard about it enough from television and movies to know that. But, as always, it’s one thing to hear it and another to experience it. While I’m not actually experiencing it, I can still see how it works.

  “Want me to go over it again, or do you want to move on to the next one?” he asks.

  “Nope, I think I’ve got it.”

  “Okay, then we’ll move on to the second position.” He sits up under me, holding me up above him at my waist as he crosses his legs. He settles me in his lap. “Wrap your legs around me,” he says, and I do. He takes my arms and places them on his shoulders. One of his hands settles on the small of my back. “In this one, both partners are very close. You have free rein to touch my body.” He touches a finger to his tongue and then his chest, making a sizzling sound.

  “Bastard,” I mumble.

  “I knew it!” He raises both hands in the air. “I am the champion.”

  “Slow down, wild child. We’ve barely gotten started. Don’t want to be premature.”

  “That would be the least of your worries.”

  Instead of disregarding his touching invitation, I accept it. My hands have a mind of their own and slide up to his neck, my fingers barely brushing his hair. A strong desire to run my fingers through it passes through my mind, but I ignore it. Landon looks at me curiously, and I expect him to call me out on my wandering touches, but he doesn’t. Instead, his hands stroke over my back. I glance into his eyes and smile. “It’s nice.”

  He smiles back, nodding. “You also don’t want to ignore the importance of body language and eye contact during sex. If they’re really into each other, it won’t be robotic. Oh, and don’t use the word slowly too much.”

  I laugh. “I know. You’ve seen my list of overused words.” I let out a long breath. “All right, what’s next?”

  “You’re an eager student.”

  “What can I say? I’m here to learn.”

  He chuckles and rests his head on my shoulder for a second, then leans back again to look at me. “Okay, on to the next position. Get up.”

  His arms fall away from me and I stand beside the bed. He gets up and comes around, bending me forward with his arm around my waist. “Ever heard of doggy style?”

  I practically shiver over the way he holds me. My palms rest on the bed. “Who hasn’t?”

  “Of course.” He taps my leg with one hand. “Spread your legs a little bit.” I take a small step to each side. “That’s it.” He releases his hold and places his hands on my hips near my butt. “Now this is where he would start pounding into her.”

  I dissolve into laughter. If he hadn’t been holding onto me, I would have fallen forward on the bed. “Did you really have to say ‘pounding’?”

  “Yes. That’s generally the descriptor used in those books.”

  “Wait.” I stand up and face him, eyes narrowed. “How would you know that?”

  He makes a face at me. “Would it really be that strange for a writer to read from every genre at least once?”

  “Huh.” I never thought of that, or bothered reading outside my comfort zone before. “I guess not.”

  “Well, then.” He touches a finger to his lips. “Shall we move on?”

  Chapter Four

  “What comes after doggy style in your lesson plan?”

  Landon gets back on my bed and lies down on his side facing me. He pats the bed in front of him. “We’re going on to more advanced moves.”

  “Oh, advanced moves?” I raise an eyebrow as I come closer. “More advanced than doggy style?”

  He scoffs. “Doggy style is just a fundamental. Part of the introductory portion of this course.”

  I shake my head and roll my eyes. “Whatever you say, teach.”

  He heaves a heavy sigh. “Just get over here already, Darling.” I get on the bed, facing him. He shakes his head and turns me around, settling me next to him, my back to his front. We’re spooning. Landon Sinclair is spooning me. His hand is on my thigh, and then he’s hitching one of my legs over his hip as his leg slips between mine.

  I gasp at the move. How…?

  “In this one, he would enter her from behind.” His hand smoothes over my thigh and my breath catches from the close contact. We’re not even doing anything. This is just two friends pretending to have sex…wishing they could be having it.

  This is not good.

  “You okay?” he asks as he moves my hair away from the nape of my neck, his nose ghosting across my skin.

  “What are you doing?” I whisper.

  “Playing my part. This is research, right? I know a little about research. It can either be boring or it can be fun. I choose the latter. Sometimes you’ve got to enjoy yourself and clearly I am.”

  “Maybe you shouldn’t enjoy it so much.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because it’s—it’s distracting,” I admit.

  He chuckles warmly. “I’m distracting you?” His hand skims down my arm, guiding it back until my hand is on his thigh. His arm slips around my waist. It may not seem very sensual, but it is. “There’s a lot of room for intimate caresses and kisses.” His lips press to my neck and my fingers grip his thigh, pulling him closer. He complies, holding me tighter until I’m fully aware of how much he’s enjoying this lesson.

  I gasp, wriggling out of his arms to stand up. My legs are shaky and I have to brace myself with a hand on the bed as I face him. “What is that all about?” My heart is thudding in my chest, a little fluttery from the strange feeling overcoming me.

  He stares for a moment as if trying to read me. Then he sits up, scooting closer until he’s sitting right in front of me, his face inches from mine. In a matter-of-fact tone, he says, “It’s a natural reaction to being near you. I’m not going to apologize for it.”

  Landon is attracted to me. It’s no wonder he was so reluctant before. It probably wasn’t the greatest of ideas to ask him to do this. At the time, I didn’t think I had another option or anyone else with the expertise. What’s worse is that I’m just as attracted to him. The nearness of him alone is sending signals to my core, and I begin to throb down there like I never have before.

  “It’s getting weird now,” I tell him quietly.

  “No, it’s not.” His hand covers the hand I’m using to hold myself up. My knees almost buckle at the feel of his skin on mine.

  “We shouldn’t.”

  “We haven’t done anything yet,” he replies, his eyes darkening. “I would like to adapt my lesson plan.”

  “Adapt it?”

  “Let’s change your field of study from quiet observation to participation.”

  My eyes widen, and my heart rate quickens at the thought. I can’t deny my desire to be an active participant in the real thing. What keeps holding me back is our friendship.

  “I want to kiss you.” His eyes are blazing, his gaze piercing me. “You want me to. Admit it.”

  He already knows I do. My body language isn’t sending mixed signals. But he’s my friend and once we cross that line, we can’t go back. Yet, what if this moment has already crossed that line? “This isn’t a good idea,” I say, standing uprigh
t.

  “It’s just research, right?” His gaze holds mine, his voice serious. “You can only learn so much from the surface study. Sometimes you have to dig deeper. The depth of your research depends entirely on you.”

  For Landon, it’s only research. He said he didn’t mind being used. Did he have an inkling this would happen?

  Why didn’t I?

  He cocks his head to the side. “We don’t have to. However…if you say no, I may have to leave. I’m finding it difficult to touch you and not stop. Just tell me if I’m going too far.”

  The hands-on experience would make my words more realistic and I want to be thorough in my research, but… “Kissing would be too far.”

  “Why?”

  “Too intimate. And it could lead to other things.”

  “Not all kissing leads to sex.”

  “It would for us.”

  Sitting up straighter, he asks, “What makes you so sure about that?”

  “Because…you’re making me feel things.” I turn my face to the side.

  I hear him get off the bed, and then he’s in front of me. Cupping my cheek with his hand, he makes me look up at him as he asks, “What kind of things?”

  I pause before I answer. “Things I’ve never felt before.”

  “Dana.” His other hand comes up to my other cheek. “Dana, please let me kiss you. Let me show you what you’ve been missing.”

  The sweetness of him is my undoing. My confidence comes forth like I’ve never experienced with anyone else. “Sit back down on the bed,” I tell him. He complies, and I slowly climb into his lap, my legs on either side of him. I’m just on his lap, nowhere near his erection. As much as I feel the urge to be closer, to feel him pressing up against me, I’m not courageous enough. His hands fall to my waist, and he allows me to be in control of this. Our faces are close. My hand reaches up, fingertips grazing across his lips. My eyes lift to find his. “Show me, Landon.”

  And then he kisses me. His lips are soft, gently parting mine as his fingers weave into my hair. I kiss him back, eager for more. He tentatively sweeps his tongue into my mouth in sweet exploration. I moan and he takes that opportunity to deepen the kiss. He devours my lips, tasting me hungrily. I can barely keep up with him. I had no idea of the extent of his kissing talent. None. If this is how he kisses, how would the rest of it…