Meant to Be

by Sienna Grant

  “I’m sorry. It’s weird, I don’t know how to act around you?”

  “Why?”

  “Because…”

  “Like that’s an answer.” Mumbles Shelby.

  “Cut me a bit of slack, please?”

  “Fine,” she sighs, “Where do you want to start? She clasps her hands together and strategically places them under her swollen tummy.

  “How about the bump that’s in the room?”

  “You mean your baby?” She corrects me sharply.

  “Yes, my baby. What happened?”

  “I was too distressed to have the abortion. Let’s say Mum wasn’t happy about that. I was hoping you’d still be there when I came out, but you weren't. I was gonna tell you then, but you’d gone already.”

  “That’s because your mother sent me away. She made a point of telling me that the abortion was happening... I was angry.”

  “That night I left home and went to my dad’s house to hide away. About a month after your sentencing I wrote you a letter explaining everything…

  “I didn’t get your letter. They moved me to a different prison, a lower CAT one. That must be the reason. I didn't want you coming there Shelb, it's a vile place and…”

  I have to put this in a way she understands, I’m not trying to be harsh, but I need to show her I’m truthful.

  “I meant what I said yesterday, I did try and forget you in there. I didn’t want to show any weakness and you Shelby, are mine.”

  Her eyes glaze over with unshed tears as she chews on the inside of her mouth.

  “I’m sorry I left you at your mums, I’m sorry you had to deal with all that shit. I’ll never be able to make it up to you, I know that.”

  Getting up from the bed I drop to my knees at her feet, taking her hand in mine. When she doesn’t pull it away, I slowly move my hand towards her face. When she doesn’t move her head, I take that as an invitation. I cover her cheek with my palm, my thumb gently grazing over her cheek.

  “Please don't,” she pleads, her breath hitching.

  “Why not?”

  “Because I'm not strong enough.” Her voice shakes, it’s weak like she’s holding back her emotions.

  “Strong enough for what, Shelb?” I whisper confused.

  “Strong enough for you, not again.”

  A stray tear drops over the edge, but I catch it with my thumb. She leans into my hand and covers mine with hers for a minute before removing it.

  “I can’t do this right now Jax.” Another tear leaves her eye and tracks down her cheek. Wiping it away quickly, she blows out a shaky breath. “I have to go.” She slowly stands from the chair.

  “Shelby, please don't go. We need to talk.”

  “I don’t want to ever feel the way I did before. I don’t want to hurt again. I have to be strong if not for myself - then for my baby.” Her hand strokes her swollen tummy. “Our baby.”

  “I need you, Shelby.” I’m desperate, I need her to let me in. I know I said I’d be patient but I need to know there’s at least a little chance for us. “Do you think there’s a way back for us?”

  “Maybe…”

  I release the breath I was holding in some sort of relief.

  “Please just stay longer, we can talk about this... I can't lose you again. It broke me Shelb.”

  “It broke me too. I didn’t think I’d ever stop crying.”

  She lets her tears go now, I pull her into my chest, stroking her hair and holding her tightly to me while she sobs. Tilting her head back, I plant my lips to hers tenderly tasting her tears as they mingle with our kiss. Threading my fingers into her hair, I pull her closer to me, letting her body soften against mine as she relaxes into me. Her tiny hands grip the sides of my t-shirt as she pushes up to her tiptoes letting me devour her.

  Breaking our connection, she doesn’t move right away, it’s like she’s savouring what we’ve shared. My lips move to her forehead, they linger on her warm, soft skin, her eyes remaining closed. She drops down as her feet set firmly on the floor again and her eyes flutter open, looking up at me.

  “I didn’t think we’d ever be like this again Jax, I thought you hated me?”

  “Shelb, I could never hate you.”

  Taking her hand, I lead her back towards the bed.

  “I’ve told you if I get down there I’m not getting up.”

  “Just get down, and I’ll worry about getting you up.”

  She guides herself down to sit on the edge of the small bed, and I sit on the other end by the wall, stretching my legs out. She lies flat on her back pulling up her knees, so her feet are flat on the bed. My hand hovered over her belly waiting for acceptance.

  “Can I feel it?”

  She smirks, “Of course you can.” I stroke over the large bump - my baby, begins to move about under my hand. “Was that the baby?” I ask surprised.

  “Yep, he does that all the time….”

  “He? As in, the baby is a boy?”

  “Yes Jax, we’re having a boy.”

  Shelby

  Jax actually looks like he’s going to cry when he kisses me. A soft and tender kiss putting every nerve ending on edge.

  This wasn’t supposed to happen, but I suppose it was inevitable. I’m weak when it comes to Jaxon Cartwright. I always have been, and I’m not about to deny it. I hate the fact he went through all that and all because he was certain I’d had an abortion.

  “Will you tell me about it?” I ask breaking away.

  “What’s that babe?”

  The hand that’s under my head acting as a pillow tickles the side of my face with the tip of his finger. His other hand rests on my belly

  “Prison?” I ask quietly, I don’t think he will though.

  Leaning over me he frowns slightly, “Maybe another time, when it’s not so raw. I wouldn’t want to warp your innocent mind.”

  “I think you’ve already done that.” I smile.

  “I didn’t think you needed me.” He kisses the end of my nose. “How long do have you left? It can’t be long can it?”

  “Three weeks on Tuesday.”

  “That’s close. Should you be walking around on your own?”

  “What do you mean?” I laugh.

  “What I said, shouldn’t you have someone with you?”

  I laugh at his questions.

  “No Jax. I’m fine.” I stare into his dark eyes, my smile turning to a frown when I remembered how good we were together. “I missed you, so much Jax!”

  “Same here. I was lost. I couldn’t cope. I’m going to look after you, I swear I am. As soon as my full sentence is up, I can get out of here. I’m going to get a job through the parole office, and I’m going to make something of myself, I promise you, babe. I’m never going to let anyone come between us again. Oh, and I’m not drinking ever again.”

  Smiling at his mini-rant, I answer subtly, “Please don’t make promises to me you don’t think you can keep. I just want you back, I want us again, but I need to be sure that you’re with me one hundred percent.”

  “Shelby Andrews, I don’t work without you... I think I’ve proved that.”

  A grin makes its way to my lips, a rolling tear slips from my chin as my breath hitches. With the back of his fingers, he wipes away the moisture from my face.

  “I love you. You’re my whole world.” He kisses my lips and moves down, lifting my top; placing a small kiss to my belly, he speaks again, “I love you too.”

  I think my heart has just burst… he’s talking to the baby...

  Sniffing back my emotions, I suddenly remember there’s something in my bag for him.

  “Can you grab my bag please?” He shifts from the bed and puts it at the side of me.

  Lifting my hand and reaching out, Jax eyes me.

  “Can you pull me up?”

  He pulls me up to a sitting position smiling, then fills up the kettle, switching it on.

  “Come
, sit a second, I have something for you.”

  “Me?” I nod and take the scan photo out of my purse. I offer him the picture, and he takes it from me cautiously. “The baby?”

  “Yeah, our son.”

  Without wasting any time he straddles my legs, moulds his lips against mine and kisses me like he needs my air to breathe.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Shelby

  I never thought I’d fall straight back into Jaxon’s arms, so much for resolve. I honestly thought he hated me. When I think back though, Harry didn’t hear anything from him either. He had no calls from Jax or letters, maybe I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions; I think we’re both guilty of that. Jax, with the abortion, well not really, my mother has a big part in that, and me, for the letter. There’s only really one person to blame for all this, and that’s her.

  All I want to do now is get back to us.

  Jax lies by my side, a small smile on his gorgeous face as he looks down at my bump.

  “It’s amazing isn’t it, that we made a baby?”

  “I know. When I first started to show, all I did was look at it - amazed, pretty much the way you are now.

  “Tell me about your dad?” Asks Jax.

  “What do you want to know?

  “I don’t know, what did he say when you told him about the baby?”

  “He was so good Jax. I told him everything after you were convicted. He wasn’t happy about that part, but the baby, he said he wasn’t overjoyed but he’d stand by me, and that’s all I needed. His wife, Anna, she’s so good. She’s been there for me the whole way through. I’m just sad I let my mum manipulate me into thinking he was bad when really it was her. Now though, I’m just trying to focus on this baby and getting through the birth. I’m so scared…”

  “Hey,” He angles my face down towards him, “I’m not leaving you again. I’ll be here, right by your side. I just have to get around this stupid curfew…”

  “We’ll get through it. I’m not bothered about that as long as I have you again.”

  “What if I miss the birth? I don’t want to let you down. I want it to be perfect for you. I’ve spent the last seven months locking up my feelings, focusing on getting out and being better for you.”

  Rolling to my side, I take his face in my hands. “I don’t care. I don’t want you to be perfect Jax, life isn’t perfect... this whole situation isn’t perfect, but we’ll get through it.”

  “You’re perfect.” He fires right back, “That’s all I need.”

  “Will you come and meet my dad and Anna?

  “Anything for you.”

  We get a taxi from Jax’s hostel to my house. It’s so weird calling it that…

  Jax fidgets all the way back in the cab, I put my hand on his, hoping to calm him.

  “Jax, chill. He’s not some axe murderer, I swear.”

  “I got his daughter pregnant, and I’ve just got out of prison, sorry for being a little melodramatic.”

  The taxi pulls to a stop outside the house, and I pass the driver the fiver fare.

  “Thank you.” The driver acknowledges with a nod, and we get out.

  “What if he hates me too? What if he thinks I’m not good enough?” He stands at the front door jigging with nerves.

  “Jax, please stop. It’ll be fine. He’ll love you.”

  “Yeah…”

  I open the door and pull him in behind me, calling out.

  “Daaad, I’m home.” Anna pops her head around the door smiling.

  “Hey, sweetie…” Her gaze falls on Jax behind me. “Hi.” She walks towards us holding out her hand.

  “Jax this is my step mum, Anna.”

  With a nervous smile, he shakes Anna's hand. “Hey, I’m Jax.”

  “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

  “Oh Jesus, that can’t be good.”

  “Relax, it’s fine.” Smiles Anna.

  I pull him through to the living room, we sit down and wait for Dad to come home.

  “Where’s my girls at then?” A voice calls from the hallway as the door shuts a few minutes later. Jax looks wide-eyed when he realises Dad is home. I see Anna run down the hall to greet him and I know she's forewarning him that Jax is here.

  They walk in the room together, Anna smiling and dad with a frown.

  “Hello there, I take it you’re Jax…” Dad stands before us with a stern look to his face.

  “Erm, yeah.”

  “Dad. Stop it. Jax brought me home in a taxi, and I asked him to come and meet you. Let’s be honest, you can’t be any worse than mother.” I look to Jax, but I can tell he doesn't know how to react to that little comment. “Just so you know, Jax and I are giving it another go.

  “Is the feeling mutual or are you only doing this for the sake of the baby?” Dad asks gently.

  “No. We want to be together.” I answer as Jax tightens his hold on my hand to the point of squeezing. I wiggle my fingers to let him know he needs to loosen his hand up. We explain there was misunderstandings from both sides and we both jumped to conclusions

  “Okay. Well, you’re obviously mature enough to know what you want. A word of advice though... don’t stay together for the sake of a child, it doesn’t work.”

  “Okay, dad.”

  Jax nods nervously. Seeing him like this makes me snigger. He’s big, muscly, don’t give a crap, bad boy... at least he was when I first met him - now not so much.

  We’ve talked with dad and Anna, they were quite understanding, if not a little shocked, but Jax finally acted more like himself by the end of the little meeting, Anna even cooked for us all, but now he has to go back. I want him to stay longer so badly, but he can’t.

  “I have to go, babe.” He tells me looking at his watch. It’s already seven forty-five. “I wish I could stay longer, but it won't be forever, I promise.”

  “I know.” Tears fill my eyes; wiping them away, he quickly kisses me.

  “See you tomorrow?”

  “You better.” I smile looking into his eyes, his intense stare rooting me to the spot.

  “Wild horses wouldn’t keep me away now.”

  “Come on lad, I’ll take you back.” Dad cuts in...

  “It’s okay. Thanks though, I’ll get the bus. I don’t want to put you out.”

  Dad jangles his keys in front of him. “There’s a car outside... let’s go.”

  He kisses me once more and gives me one last hug before leaving through the front door. Feeling sad, I wave, and Anna shuts the door. She puts her arm around me; leading me into the living room, we sit down.

  “He’s nice.”

  Putting my head on her shoulder, I sigh happily now that that awkward meeting is over.

  Two Weeks Later

  Since that day, we’ve spent every day together. He’s come with me to my appointments. He met my midwife, who he made a significant impression on. He’s really trying to make up for lost time.

  He brings me flowers, and he’s starting to buy little things for the baby. It’s difficult at the moment, as he only gets his unemployment money but he’s so good to me. I don’t think I was this happy before.

  Addison wasn’t too happy when I told her we were back together - I know she’s just looking out for me, but she has to understand that it’s my life.

  I wake up with an excruciating pain in my lower back which quickly moves around to the front. Sitting up, I move to the edge of the bed and wait for the pain to pass. After a couple minutes, it stops, I go to the toilet and then get back into bed.

  It doesn’t take long until I’m waking up with the same kind of pain. This time I get out of bed and walk around to see if It helps, and it does a little bit. Once it’s worn off, I get into bed again and try to sleep, but I can’t.

  I open up my iPad and go to my iBook’s app, click on a book I really want to read and settle back down. I get ten percent in, and it starts again. It’s only then that I realise I must be in
labour.

  Repeating what I did before, I grab my phone and ring the one person I need with me most. It rings for a little while, I begin to think he’s not going to pick up when I hear his sleepy voice

  “Hello.”

  “Jax. I need you.”

  “Shelby? What’s up, babe?” His husky voice puts a grin on my face even though I’m in pain.

  “I’m in labour.”

  “Oh shit.” Now he’s awake. “Erm, baby, I can’t leave this place at night it’s part of my curfew.

  I start to panic thinking I have to do this alone...

  “Oh Jax, but I don’t want to do this without you.”

  “Okay, hang on a sec…” The line goes quiet for a second, “Shelby, have you had a show or anything yet babe?”

  “I don’t think so, but the pain is terrible.”

  “Alright, have you been timing your contractions?”

  “Erm not really….”

  Shit, I forgot about that.

  “From now I want you to time your contractions… it’s five-thirty, right? I can’t get out of here until at least another hour and a half. I want you to go and wake up whoever you can and if there’s any change I want them to call me, does that sound okay?”

  “Yes,” I answer just as another one starts to tear through me.

  “Baby, I promise I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’m not going back to sleep; I’ll be here waiting for your call.”

  “Okay…” I blow out a sigh of relief, taking another deep breath as the pain wears away.

  “Better?”

  “It’s over now,”

  “Alright babe, I’ll be there as soon as I’m allowed.”

  “Thanks, Jax, love you.”

  “Love you. See you soon.”

  I don’t wake dad and Anna right away, I wait until I get another one. Looking at the clock on my iPad I see it’s five forty-five. I just need to drag it out to seven and then I know soon after Jax will be here.

  Anna jumps from the bed when I wake her and runs me a bath.

  “Shelby get in the bath sweetheart; the hot water helps. I nod, taking in her advice.

  “I’ll take my phone in case Jax calls me. He can’t get out of the house until seven.”