Beverly Hills Demon Slayer

by Angie Fox

  "You've got to be kidding me," I said as Dimitri tossed his undershirt over the escaping drool. The shirt began to smoke. "There's nothing I could say to those people."

  He wiped up the drool, careful not to touch the parts that were eating away at his shirt. "Hi. My name is Lizzie. I'm new to California."

  I glanced behind us to make sure we were alone. "I'm a demon slayer," I reminded him under my breath. "The Earl of Hell tried to kill me at my wedding, but I managed to survive, thanks to my husband, who can strip naked and change into a griffin anytime he pleases."

  He sat back on his heels. "Now you're just being difficult."

  I don't know what universe he was living in. "Try realistic."

  He shrugged a shoulder and stuffed the shirt against the small two-inch gap that had been the source of the leak. "This is your life now, and you're going to have to get used to living with non-magical people."

  Um-hum. "Says the griffin who grew up on an estate in Greece."

  He couldn't expect his undershirt fix to last for long.

  "I do just fine." He straightened. "It's you I'm worried about. Don't try so hard to be a demon slayer, or a witch, that you forget about everything else."

  "Let me handle things how I handle them," I said, almost wishing the garage would start leaking again, just to prove to the man that he couldn't fix everything.

  I had Dimitri, the witches. My family at home now knew about my powers. That in itself was a big step. Yes, I'd cut myself off from all my old friends back in Atlanta. But I didn't know what to say to them anymore. It's not as if I could tell them about my new life. And if I'd invited them to my wedding, they might have been killed by a demon. These weren't normal problems.

  We waited to see if his fix would work. It did, for now. Still, this was far from over.

  I slid my arms around my husband—or at least I tried. His wide chest made it hard for me to fit all the way around. I leaned into him, enjoying his solid presence. "All I need is you," I said, reaching up to peck him on the lips.

  "I'll let you get away with that. For now." He held me close, his chin resting on my head.

  ***

  A short time later, Dimitri and I turned toward the neat line of sand-colored stucco town houses. Stubby palm trees sprouted from the walkway leading to our bright blue front door. Everything seemed so normal on the outside. As long as you didn't count the mythical beast hidden in our garage.

  Dimitri inserted his key in the front door and it made me glad to see at least one of us had decided to leave the house with pants. The sun had risen and chances were, if we'd had to sneak around back, we would have ended up greeting at least a few of our neighbors as they enjoyed morning coffee out on their decks.

  I gave one final glance back. We'd left Flappy outside the garage, snarling, while Pirate kept him company.

  "They're fine. If Flappy hasn't flipped out yet, he's not going to," Dimitri said, holding the door open for me. "Let's clean up and make some calls."

  "I have Rachmort's new number," I said, heading inside the house.

  Although my mentor had never explained why it changed.

  Rachmort ministered to the lost souls of purgatory. He spent six months out of the year down there, coaxing wayward souls to give up whatever darkness they held and move to the light. The other six months he spent in Boca Raton, Florida. Or somewhere training slayers like me.

  "That's not who I was thinking about," Dimitri said, locking the door behind us.

  "He'd be better than the biker witches," I said, heading for the kitchen. My grandma's gang didn't exactly do things quietly.

  Dimitri cleared his throat. "I'm talking about the only person we know who is part demon and also good with animals."

  I turned to face him. "You've got to be kidding." No way I was bringing a half demon into this.

  Dimitri had the nerve to look amused. "You said you liked her."

  "I didn't kill her," I corrected. Big difference.

  Shiloh McBride had lived a good portion of her life as a succubus, a special breed of demon who fed on sex and depravity. I'd let her live shortly after wiping out every soul-consuming demon in Las Vegas. She'd been spared because of her half-human side, and because she wasn't necessarily evil. Besides, when I'd gone to finish the job, I'd found her married to a demon slayer and running her own doggy grooming salon. Instead of a switch star, she'd gotten Pirate for a bath and a paw-dicure.

  "She's the natural choice," Dimitri said, with his unfailing logic.

  I leaned up against the edge of the kitchen table to think about it. Despite the fact that I really, really didn't like the idea, my husband had a point. Shiloh was on our side, and she may very well know what kind of beast we had on our hands. She certainly owed me a favor.

  Dimitri rummaged through our junk drawer before handing me the card for the Pampered Paws Salon in Las Vegas. On the back Shiloh had written her private cell number.

  "I can't believe I'm doing this," I said as I punched in the number.

  Dimitri just smiled.

  And wouldn't you know it, Shiloh answered on the first ring.

  "Lizzie Brown!" Her voice sounded smooth, melodious, like a beauty queen—or a soul eater.

  "Hey, Shiloh," I said, trying to keep my own voice even. "Long time, no…whatever." I cleared my throat. "We have a situation. I'm putting you on speaker." When I did, we picked up a noise that sounded like dry-throated dogs snarling and barking in the background. I didn't want to know, but I had to ask anyway. "Are those hellhounds?"

  "Only my two," she said. "They get excited when the phone rings."

  Right.

  "We have a problem," Dimitri said, plowing forward. He closed his hand over mine and gave me a small squeeze. "A stranger showed up on our beach today and left an aggressive creature behind. Frankly, we don't know what to do with it."

  "It's wolflike," I told her, "with black-and-gray fur, curved teeth. It's crazy aggressive. Mean."

  "Hmm," she said. The lid of a jar rattled and the hellhounds started barking like crazy. "Does it have a flat snout? Tusked teeth? Moon-shaped claws?"

  "Yes," I said. "There's also a red vapor seeping out around it."

  "Aww," the half succubus cooed. "It sounds like you have a fenris. Poor thing belongs in purgatory."

  "Great," I said, not meaning it at all, even if I did appreciate knowing where the thing had to go. "How do we get it to purgatory?"

  "No clue. It's not an easy trip," she said. "The little devil's probably scared to death. Be careful, though, because if its diet is a little off, its breath might make you woozy…unless he's a cave-dwelling fenris. He doesn't have tiny little bat wings, does he?"

  Of all the… "How the hell should I know?"

  She ignored my tone. "In any case, it would be a good idea to keep a fan going."

  Wait a second. "We're not going to keep this thing."

  She sighed. "It's a living creature. With feelings."

  I doubted that second part.

  She cleared her throat. "Look, I'm not due in the shop today. I suppose I could run out there and help you get settled with your new pet. But you have to promise me you're going to take care of it."

  No. Absolutely not.

  For all I knew, it was part of some evil plan.

  I sighed and made eyes at Dimitri. I didn't want to call her in the first place and now she wanted to visit and make me keep a fenris?

  He shrugged. "It's not like we can let it loose."

  "That's the spirit," Shiloh chirped, with that overly perky voice that made me wonder if I'd already died and gone to hell.

  Dimitri couldn't hide his grin. He still looked rather amused after my somewhat awkward sign-off.

  "What?" I asked, not liking it at all.

  "Look at the bright side," he said. "At least we know what we have."

  What to do with it was another matter entirely.

  Chapter Four

  "I'm going to go clean up," I said, heading upstairs.
It's not as though I could greet Shiloh while wearing Dimitri's T-shirt and basically nothing else.

  Sometimes, I actually felt like I'd gotten a handle on my life as a demon slayer. It hadn't even been two years since my powers had been thrust upon me. I'd gone from preschool teacher to kick-butt conqueror…with plenty of bumps along the way. But still, I'd survived. I'd saved many of my newfound supernatural friends and allies. I'd grown confident, strong. Then something like this happened and I realized I couldn't even imagine or anticipate half of what the world had to throw at me.

  Maybe someday, I'd master it all.

  I nearly tripped over the laundry basket at the top of the stairs. Grumbling, I shoved it aside with my foot.

  Our room felt like a dark nest of chaos. I pulled back the curtains to let in some light. Outside, in the parking lot, Pirate and Flappy sat rapt outside the garage, staring at the door.

  Maybe someday, I'd simply master my pets.

  Don't count on it.

  I undressed and ducked into the shower. Shiloh would take four hours to get here if she drove from Las Vegas. Surely we could contain the fenris for that long.

  ***

  Wonder of wonders, we succeeded. And roughly four hours later, Shiloh the half she-demon rang the doorbell.

  Thank God.

  Dimitri and I opened the door to the petite blonde. She wore pink capri pants, a white wraparound shirt, and a gold-and-white daisy necklace. It looked like the kind of outfit I would have worn a few years ago, before my change.

  It didn't fool me for a second.

  I, on the other hand, had dressed in my usual black leather pants and matching ass-kicker boots. I'd gone for an ivory bustier today, on account of my newlywed status.

  "Hi," Shiloh said somewhat hesitant, raising her hand to wave and unbalancing the huge yellow Pampered Paws Salon bag she'd slung over her shoulder.

  She blinked, as if I'd surprised her. Then she began staring at me. Hard.

  "We appreciate you coming by," Dimitri said, but Shiloh wasn't paying much attention. Neither was I.

  The half demon wet her perfectly-glossed Barbie doll lips. "You've gotten more powerful," she said, her voice breathy.

  I could feel my power swelling inside me. "Thanks."

  Her gaze skittered away, and she focused on a spot just past my left shoulder. "So," she said, as if this were a normal conversation, "where's your fenris?"

  "Locked up in the garage," I told her.

  "Poor baby!" Her eyes widened and her hand flew to her mouth. "We have to get it out of there. Fenrises are highly social creatures."

  Dimitri towered over her. "It's dangerous."

  Her eyes narrowed and she gave him a look from hell. Seriously. Her eyes flashed red. I had to almost admire her for it, seeing as she had to crane her neck up at one very big, intimidating Dimitri. "It's probably scared to death."

  I doubted it. "No. Really. You have to see this thing," I told her, urging her down the path toward the garage. "It would have no problem eating you, me, any of the neighbors." It would make a snack of Pirate.

  When my dog saw us coming, he rushed to Shiloh. "Hi! Remember me? Hi!" But the half demon didn't see him. I reached for him, but he ducked out of my way.

  Shiloh adjusted the overstuffed bag on her shoulder. "Fenrises are high energy," she said, as if she were admitting a terrible fault, the only shortcoming of the huge, wolflike creatures. "But as with any animal, a little understanding goes a long way."

  "You think so?" my husband drawled. "Check this out." Dimitri opened the garage door. As it rumbled up on its hinges, the creature immediately went insane, attacking the bars. It gave a stomach-curdling roar. The cage rocked from side to side.

  "You see?" Shiloh pointed a petite hand. "It's terrified."

  I shared a glance with Dimitri. He'd positioned himself between the cage and us. He didn't look convinced.

  Shiloh opened up her hands, obviously adjusting her strategy. "Let's just take this in baby steps, okay? We'll simply move your fenris into the house, and—"

  "Not in a million years," I countered.

  She tucked her hair back behind her ears, clearly looking for an angle. "Does it have a name?" she prodded.

  "Hell Raiser," Dimitri said.

  Shiloh bypassed Dimitri and stood directly outside the cage. She held out a hand to the oversize, tusked-looking snout. Holy Hades. She was asking to get mauled. Its nostrils were as big as her entire palm, its teeth as long as her fingers. The thing showed two rows of those god-awful chompers. I wished I'd brought my phone to call 911. Then it hesitated, and gave her a wet sniff.

  Naturally, she took it as a sign of love. "Aww…" she crooned, as the creature dripped steaming spit all over her hand. "You're just a big baby doll, aren't you?"

  "What?" The question fell from Dimitri's lips, as if he weren't quite sure what he'd heard.

  Shiloh glanced back at us. "First off, it looks like she's a girl and not a boy."

  I didn't want to ask how she knew that.

  "Second, when training an animal, you have to set expectations." She ran her fingers under its muzzle, as if she were the fenris whisperer. The animal gurgled and bit at the cage bars. "Isn't that right, sweetie pie?" Shiloh crooned. The beast let out a low, growly moan. Unbelievable. I figured Shiloh had a knack with animals, but this was ridiculous.

  "I'm a sweetie pie," Pirate said, nosing up on her, but Shiloh didn't see him.

  She straightened, wiping her hand on her pants, ignoring the red mist that rose up from them. She'd gotten a piece of doggy-sniffle in her hair as well. She didn't seem to mind. "Fenrises are a lot more delicate than, say, hellhounds or imps. We have to get Babydoll on a special diet or she's going to continue to be in a bad mood."

  "Oh great," I mused. "Instead of eating my hand, it wants a custom evil diet?"

  Shiloh wasn't amused. She turned to Dimitri, evidently deciding I wasn't in a listening mood. "You have a field fenris, from the barren plains of West Purgatory. You can tell by her purple tongue."

  "We couldn't see past the snarling teeth," I said. I couldn't help it.

  Pirate tried to ease past me for a better look. I picked him up instead.

  Shiloh ignored us both. "Field fenrises are heavily pack-bound and have delicate digestive systems. No wonder she's a mess. Poor thing. They should never be kept as pets. They just don't thrive well in captivity. She needs devil's grass, from the barren plains. But if that's not available," she said, glancing back to me, as if I'd planned to stroll on down to purgatory in order to pick grass, "then I'd recommend alfalfa. It has the higher caloric count Babydoll is going to need to help her recover."

  "As opposed to…" Dimitri began.

  "Oat hay or orchard grass," she said happily. The fenris fought the bars to get at Shiloh. Instead of stepping back, she calmly slid her hand inside and let it mouth her hand like a puppy. She'd lose that hand if it bit down. But the she-demon didn't seem the least bit worried. "Babydoll needs a high-acid meal, something in the two to three range on the pH scale. Do you have any lemons?"

  "Lemons," I said. She really was serious about all this. "For a fenris."

  "I don't even get canned dog food," Pirate said.

  She put both hands inside then, scruffing up the fenris's fur on both sides of its massive head. "I brought battery acid, but just looking at her condition, I think it may upset her tummy."

  I really wasn't trying to be difficult—at the moment at least—but I felt obliged to remind Shiloh, "This morning, that thing wanted to devour us whole."

  "And spit out our toenails," Pirate added.

  Shiloh actually laughed at that. "Oh, no. Fenrises are vegetarians."

  It didn't make any sense.

  Dimitri shook his head, as if he were trying to reconcile it as well. "Why would someone bring us a fenris? Especially if it's a vegetarian and doesn't want to rip us into pieces?"

  "I don't know," Shiloh said, saddening even as the beast tried to lick her to death. "S
he should be with her pack, or a family that loves her." Tears glistened in the half succubus's eyes. "That's why she's freaking out. And then you put her alone in a garage."

  It's not as if we knew. "I'm sorry," I said automatically.

  Shiloh nodded. "I'll see if we can get her back to purgatory. I have a few…ah, old associates I can ask." She looked to us both. "In the mean time, let's get Babydoll into the house. I'll set her up there and then we can take a look at where she turned up on your beach."

  No question Shiloh knew people and creatures we didn't. She also had a very different set of powers. Perhaps she could see something in the remains of the portal that I couldn't, but still. Shiloh's gifts came from a very dark place.

  We stood in an uncomfortable silence for a moment.

  Frankly, I was more willing to let Shiloh tap into her dark side than I was to let a fenris in my house.

  I loved animals. In truth, her actions toward the beast had proven that she was a lot nicer of a person than me right now. I just hadn't seen it as a homeless animal that needed attention. Still, I lived in a community now, with full humans. I owed it to them to keep their little corner of the world safe.

  As she reached for the cage opening, I had a responsibility, a duty, to ask one last time. "You promise it's not going to eat anyone."

  "Never," she said. Her hand glowed red over the latch and she swung the door open. The fenris charged out halfway, and as soon as Shiloh unlatched the manacles inside the cage, she had a whole lot of crazy on the end of a chain. Not that she noticed. "She's feisty," Shiloh said, with the giggle of a mad animal lover.

  Just when I wondered whether or not the beast would knock the dainty half demon on her rear, something outside caught Shiloh's eye. "Hi!" she said, waving to someone down the way.

  I turned to see my neighbor Todd, running shirtless again. Yes, he had a hard body and I think he worked part-time as a male underwear model, but it was a bit terrifying to watch Shiloh's reaction to the handsome man. Her back straightened, her skin glowed, and I swore she grew an inch. She cocked out a hip, opened up a thigh. "Great day to run!" she said, her voice almost musical as she waved at the virile Todd.