Edge of Something More

by Andi Loveall

  “Sick,” Devin said. “But good.”

  “Sick but good,” Lucius said, chuckling. “I like that. I’m going to use it.”

  “Hey, Walter said when you’re done, we should go help Cora.”

  “All right then.” Lucius chucked the pitchfork across the yard. “I’m done.”

  They left Panky to finish the weeding. Devin glanced back over his shoulder at her, but she wasn’t looking at him.

  “I think I like this place.”

  “Me too,” Lucius said. “It feels like a different world out here, eh?”

  “I needed a different world. Makes me want to go find more worlds.”

  “There’s millions of them out there.”

  “As long as I’m far from home.”

  “I know the feeling. But you might miss home after a while. Maybe realize it’s not so bad.”

  “I don’t think so. Not when there’s so much else to see.”

  “True. Just be careful, it can sure get addictive.” Lucius sprinted a few feet ahead, leaping up and bouncing off the side of a tree.

  Devin jogged after him. “What can?”

  “Seeing what else is out there.”

  They entered the orchard. Devin felt the familiar swell of lust and tingling as he saw Cora by the east end, pacing around and drinking from a bottle of water. She was wearing denim shorts and a t-shirt with the words Go Green, Eat Local across the chest. He wanted to do both pretty desperately.

  “Morning,” he said, putting on an aloof face. “What are we doing today?”

  The aloof face made his voice come out unnaturally deep. He cleared his throat.

  “Sheet mulching.”

  “What is that?” he said, clearing his throat again before deciding to give it up. “Sounds like some sort of ancient tribal dance.”

  Lucius picked up a weed-whacker and lifted it over his head like it was a weapon. He let out a warrior call and went into an intense dance, kicking his feet.

  Devin watched him with a deadpan expression. It made Cora laugh.

  “Not quite,” she said. “C’mon. I’ll show you.”

  She led them through the orchard to the clearing on the far side, trudging out to the middle, and leaving a trail of smashed weeds behind her.

  “We want to start some more crops out here next season,” she said, spreading her arms to demonstrate the area around her. “So we’re going to lay sheet mulch to help get the ground ready. Lucius, you’re going to start weed whacking this area. And Devin—you’re with me.”

  “What are we doing?”

  “Hauling compost,” she said. “Since you’re so good at carrying things.”

  Together they gathered supplies from the shed and rolled over to the compost bins that were outside the worker kitchen. They looked similar to the ones down at the house.

  She held the wheelbarrow steady as he shoveled it in.

  “Composting is my favorite,” she said. “Is that weird?”

  “Not at all. Lucius was just telling me about it. I think it’s a good idea.”

  “Did you know that not even biodegradable things break down in a landfill? There’s no life down that deep. It all just stays there.”

  “That’s disturbing.”

  “I know. Sometimes I stay awake at night just thinking about it.”

  The brrruuuummmm of the weed-whacker grew louder as they made their way back with the first load. He pushed the wheelbarrow, and she walked alongside him with the shovel. Just as they rounded the last corner, she turned.

  “So, are you single?”

  The wheelbarrow jammed on a rock, sending him stumbling forward. He dropped to one knee and caught it before it fell over.

  “Whoa, smooth.”

  “See? I told you. Practice makes perfect.”

  “You didn’t answer the question.”

  “Um … Yeah, I’m single. You?”

  She trotted ahead, looking back at him over her shoulder. “Why?”

  “I don’t know. Why’d you ask me?”

  “What sort of person answers a question with another question?”

  “What sort of person talks about answering a question with a question when they just did the same thing?”

  “I don’t know.” She gave him a toothy grin. “What sort are you?”

  He narrowed his eyes at her and set the wheelbarrow by the area Lucius was cutting down. They waited a few minutes for him to complete the task, watching as the plants within the square met their bitter end. When he finished and it was quiet, she turned.

  “I’m single,” she said.

  Lucius eyed her as he walked past, giving Devin a grin and a thumbs up.

  Devin chuckled. There had to be a catch. Maybe she was up to something weird, like collecting worms in jars under her bed or plotting terrorist attacks on all the steakhouses in the city. If so, he wouldn’t really care.

  Panky joined them, and they spent the rest of the morning on their hands and knees, packing down the compost and layering sheets of old cardboard on the large square. It was pretty cool, amending the earth. They were like gods, choosing to annihilate one ecosystem and replace it with another.

  “Now,” Cora said, standing up. “The final step: We soak it with water and layer straw on top. The rain won’t be able to penetrate the cardboard very well until it starts to break down. This will help.”

  Devin watched her. If only there were some appropriate way to tell her that her use of the word “penetrate” did anything but help.

  ***

  “Sorry I didn’t smoke you out the first night, brother,” Lucius said, handing Devin the freshly packed bowl. “I crashed early. Plus, I was taking a second to feel out your jive.”

  “My jive is most definitely agreeable. Thank you.”

  He took a hit, shutting his eyes. Oh God. It had been a long time.

  His lungs seized up and he went into a hacking fit, blowing out a big cloud of smoke.

  Lucius laughed and patted him on the back. He took a hit himself. The smoke came out in a perfect ring.

  “You know what I sometimes think? I think that in a past life, I was a great explorer.”

  “An explorer?” Devin’s voice choked.

  “Yeah.” Lucius studied the ceiling, the shortest of his dreadlocks hanging around his shoulders like a lion’s mane. “I have this need to explore the whole world. The whole universe. Every facet of my mind. Everything that exists, inside and out. I’m like Magellan … Or maybe Pytheas. One of those guys.”

  “I think you have to … Here you go.”

  “Thank you,” Lucius said, taking the pipe. “Have to what?”

  “Explore everything. How can anyone know what they want without seeing all there is to choose from?”

  “See?” Lucius’ hazel eyes shined from the high. “This is why I like you. You’re an explorer too.”

  Devin looked around, the high hitting him hard. This was North Carolina. This dreadlocked stoner was his roommate. Cora was real and in the flesh, wandering around somewhere within a half-mile radius. In a few minutes, he would see her.

  Things becoming other things … The girl who appeared when he closed his eyes used to look a lot like Jess, but she was changing. And yes, it was damn beautiful.

  Lucius finished the bowl and they headed down to the bonfire. Devin followed him over to the woods to the west of the cabins, where they found a narrow and overgrown trailhead.

  “This is the back way,” Lucius said. “A shortcut.”

  They struggled through the vegetation. Devin hissed as a vine scratched his forearm.

  The mountains glowed beyond the trees, dusty purple fading into a bright pink sky. This place was an alternate universe, a world where he was a Samurai, walking through the woods with a fellow warrior by his side. This was a world where a mountain lion would appear and stare wisely into his eyes, imparting some sort of deep message he would write on a scroll to be passed down through the ages. A world that made him forget about everything
before.

  “Dude,” Devin said, laughing. “I feel spectacular.”

  “First time you smoked in a while?”

  “A little while, yeah.”

  “You like this weed?”

  “Love it.”

  “I got it from Walter’s friend Casey,” he said. “If you want more, hit her up. She rolls through here pretty regularly.”

  Lucius paused to look at a big, mossy boulder along the path.

  “I have this strain and another that we can smoke later,” he said, continuing on. “I got the other one from this guy in Raleigh who was carrying it around in a pillowcase. He had at least a pound just stuffed in there. And he was just driving around with it in the backseat.”

  “That’s the coolest thing,” Devin said, cracking up laughing. “Ah … dude. You got me too stoned. You got me way too stoned.”

  “You’re just a lightweight,” Lucius said. “A blessed duck.”

  “Duck?”

  “Yeah. The blessed duck. He could be getting devoured in an Asian restaurant or swimming in some polluted pond, but his life is one of refinement and culture. He eats all the best food, he gets the hottest girl duck, he gets high off one bowl—he’s the most blessed duck of them all.”

  “ … I’m quite sure that’s not me.”

  “Ah, but that’s the thing with the blessed duck.” Lucius raised a finger and grinned. “He doesn’t know he’s blessed. How could he? He’s a duck.”

  “What exactly are you—”

  “Almost there. Come on!” He took off ahead, disappearing around a corner.

  Devin went after him, hearing laughter in the distance. It was faint, but he still recognized it.

  Clouds covered the setting sun, allowing a few beams of light to shoot through. The clearing came into view. Lucius was running down toward the others, who were warming by an infant fire. All of the women had dressed up, although Raven’s flowing, purple gown wasn’t that different from her usual attire. Panky and Cora were both in short, swishy skirts that accentuated their hips. They had ribbons in their hair and glitter on their faces.

  “Hey busboy,” Cora said. “Welcome to your first bonfire. You’re about to become a member of our tribe. No turning back now.”

  “Not even if I wanted to.”

  Walter was gazing into the fire like he was going to read prophecies in the smoke. Raven had a big picnic basket, filled with mugs, snacks, and a bottle of apple cider. She explained that each spring, new arrivals drank the cider that was made the season before. It symbolized a commitment to give to the community with a fully devoted effort.

  “Now,” Raven said as she passed around the mugs. “I don’t drink alcohol nor do I encourage it, but I’ll add a shot of rum for those who request.”

  Walter grinned. “I most certainly do encourage it.”

  Panky and Walter accepted a shot while Lucius and Cora took theirs innocent. When Raven looked at Devin, he shrugged a yes. Why not?

  Walter raised their glasses in a toast.

  “To love,” he said. “The love between friends, the love between lovers, and the love of North Carolina, for tonight I’m grateful for all three.”

  “To love!” Everyone sang in unison.

  They finished the cider and more rum was passed around. Devin stared at the empty mug in his hand, debating whether another shot was in his favor. He decided to believe it was, even though he knew it probably wasn’t. Lucius decided that a smoke was in everyone’s favor. He hunched over and bit his tongue in concentration as he packed the pipe. It made Devin cringe. He was conditioned by years of only knowing one person over the age of forty—who very much did not approve of marijuana. Walter and Raven didn’t share these beliefs, but they each declined a hit.

  “No thank you, son.” Walter grinned. “If you think I’m goofy now, you should see me blunted. The wife would have to bash me with a log to get me under control.”

  Devin watched as Cora accepted. She exhaled the smoke and stuck her tongue out at him from the other side of the cloud.

  “Does anyone have a story to tell?” Raven said. “Or maybe a special talent to share?”

  “Tell them the story about Gym,” Cora suggested, looking around at the others. “They stole him off the back of some guy’s truck—”

  “We didn’t steal him honey. He fell off the truck and we picked him up.”

  “Well if we’re going to tell the story, let’s tell it properly.” Walter cleared his throat, drawing the attention. “We go down to the county fair most years, and this past year we saw an owner having it out with his herd. He was kicking them around and being a real brute, but it was nothing so extreme that I felt comfortable stepping in. What good could come from getting into it with a man of that temperament?”

  “That’s when God stepped in,” Raven said, pausing dramatically.

  Cora tapped Devin’s hand. “Listen to this, it’s so totally fate.”

  “On the drive home,” Walter said. “Only a few minutes out, we damn well ended up right behind the goat kicker’s truck on the road. Would you believe that? We recognized it from earlier. The rope the goat was tied up with must’ve broke because he jumped from the truck on a turn. The owner didn’t even notice, but we practically ran off the road. It was impeccable timing—had they been going faster, he’d never have made it.”

  “And if it happened at a complete stop, the guy would have noticed,” Cora said. “See? Fate.”

  Panky shook her head. “What makes that fate as opposed to an interesting coincidence?”

  “Fate is when coincidences mean something.”

  “But why would they mean anything if they’re coincidences?”

  Cora narrowed her eyes at her. “Because they do.”

  “It’s neither fate or coincidence,” Lucius said. “It’s manifestation. Altering the course of physical reality with your own will. Raven had a pure intention to save Gym from an abusive man, and the universe rearranged itself in her favor.”

  Devin eyed Cora, wondering if the universe would rearrange something in his favor despite the fact that his intentions were far from pure. Had he somehow manifested this situation through frequent and highly focused masturbatory sessions during his teen years? Cora wasn’t exactly the forbidden farmer’s daughter, but it was close enough.

  He stared at her until she started to turn, then quickly looked away.

  “Maybe they’re all the same thing,” she said, smiling. “Manifestation, coincidence … Maybe it’s a part of your fate.”

  “Aye well,” Walter said. “Pretty funny story in the end, whatever you want to call it. I scooped him up off the road and sat him on my lap the whole way home. We named him Gym, because he’s tough, like a bodybuilder.”

  Raven smiled. “I believe he bit through that rope.”

  Devin sipped his drink. It was a serendipitous tale indeed, but what about the rest of the goats? Had they manifested continuing on with their abusive owner? Or, what about right now? Was he manifesting this place and these people, or were they manifesting him?

  He stared at Cora, trying to make her feel it.

  “I see you,” she said.

  “I see you too. Good to know neither of us are blind.”

  Her giggle was like an orange tonic pouring down his throat, warming his stomach and intoxicating him even more than the rum. Yeah, he was definitely manifesting this. Thinking about something so much that it came true. If anyone could do that, it was him.

  It was getting cooler, and the wind was starting to blow. They all cuddled around the fire.

  “Any more stories or talents to share?” Raven asked.

  “Devin has talents,” Cora said. “Lots of them.”

  “Me? Like what?”

  “Like … carrying things. Falling down.”

  “Those aren’t talents. I’ve trained to master those practices. I didn’t come out of the box this amazing, believe it or not.”

  “What’s something you were good at without having
to train?”

  He gazed at her. “Kissing.”

  Everyone oohed and snickered, and he just grinned. That came out of nowhere, thank you rum.

  Cora smirked. “What else?”

  “Writing, I guess.” He paused. “I dabble in freestyle rap, too. But—”

  “Now, wait a minute,” Lucius said. “I dabble in beatboxing.”

  “You do not.”

  “I do.”

  “Oh, dude. My friend Aaron back home, he’s a sick beatboxer. He goes off like a madman while me and our other friend Dave do battle. It’s pretty funny, but I have to be in the mood—”

  “Can you do it now?” Cora asked, looking hopeful.

  “ … I don’t know.”

  “Come on, please?”

  The others all joined in, cheering and chanting until he broke down.

  “All right, jeez,” he said, laughing and looking at Lucius. “You want to do this? Should we do this? Okay, we’re doing this. Don’t say you guys didn’t ask for it.”

  He sat up straight, shaking out his shoulders. Lucius hunched over, cupping his hands at his mouth.

  “Bom, bom bom bom, shishy shishy bom bom … Bom, bom bom bom shishy shishy bom bom …”

  Devin sat there a second, eyes closed. He took a deep breath.

  “I left on a journey, hit up North Carolina. I’m glad that I came here instead of India or China, because of anywhere I’ve gone I’ve never seen no ladies finer, and if this is what your food is like then take me to your diner. Hey see, can’t believe, no one flows better than me, and without the green this rhyme would probably never come to be. Another hit’ll capture me and then I’ll be set free.”

  They were all going nuts, clapping and cheering.

  “That’s all I’ve got,” he said, shaking hands with Lucius. “Good job, man. That was unwavering.”

  “Are you lying?” Cora said. “Did you guys practice that ahead of time?”

  “No,” Devin said, flushing.

  Months had gone by since he managed to pick up the flow that well. He and Dave started to battle it out one night about a week before he left, but Devin lost it when Dave made him laugh too hard with one of his absurd lines: “Fuck fuck fuckity fuck, monster truck, Mama’s gonna fuck you like a duck” … or something to that effect.