Edge of Something More

by Andi Loveall

  “I know,” she said, grinning. “But I just got you to admit it.”

  “Oh, you’re bad. You’re very bad.”

  “Yep,” she said. “And not easy.”

  “I don’t care if you’re easy,” he said, taking her by the chin. “Just as long as you’re possible.”

  It made her giggle, and then him too, even though it was a serious attempt at romance, and it was true.

  “You do have a way with words, busboy,” she said.

  “You have a way with my heart.”

  “Now you’re just being ridiculous.”

  “It is ridiculous. But it’s true … I like you Cora. You’re everything I like.”

  He kissed her on her neck, and she gasped a little, grabbing him and pushing him back. They gazed at each other and smiled, and she kissed him, hard and determined. He felt her love again, the way he did earlier.

  “I’m falling for you,” he said.

  She grinned, licking her mouth. “You … are a very interesting boy. But for now, I’m going to bed.”

  “Okay. Can I walk you to your door?”

  “It’s like ten feet away,” she said, throwing a thumb over her shoulder. “But thank you for your chivalry.”

  “The big, weird bug could come back again. You don’t know of the terror since you weren’t here before, but—”

  “Goodnight, Devin.”

  “Bye.”

  He watched her through the window, smiling as she shut the blinds on him.

  ***

  “Everyone here is beautiful. Have you noticed that?”

  Lucius was hiking along beside him. He looked over, surprised.

  “You think I’m beautiful?”

  “Well, yeah. I mean you’ve got that whole chiseled jaw thing going for you, and then there’s the dreadlocks. What can I say? You’re beautiful.”

  “That was one of the top compliments of my life.” Lucius sniffled and pretended to wipe away a tear. “I hear it all of the time from women, but to hear it from a guy …”

  “I speak the truth, my friend. But actually, I was referring more to these two.”

  He looked ahead at the girls, who had committed to power walking from the cabins to the waterfall, because Panky needed to “burn some of her jiggle,” as she put it. He wasn’t going to say so out loud, but he thought her jiggle looked just fine. Cora’s was more than fine. It was the finest. An ass that would be impossible without exercise, healthy food, and perfect genetics. Both of them were wearing tennis shoes and little shorts, bikini string hanging down their backs in a perfect little tangle.

  “They both have nice butts,” Devin said. “And skin.”

  “Panky has nice feet.”

  “Ah, so you do like Panky.”

  “I didn’t say I liked her. I said I liked her feet.”

  “A foot man, I dig it.”

  “Hey, I love all female body parts equally.” Lucius held out his arms. “I’m just saying—they’re nice. Anyway, like attracts like. This is paradise, my friend. Why would we expect anything less than the beautiful to manifest?”

  Paradise was a word that didn’t mean much before. Paradise before was a stock image of palm trees and turquoise water, a concept so far off and unreachable that it almost didn’t really exist. The only people who really got to experience paradise were those who were born there. And the painfully rich.

  Now, he understood that paradise was a real thing, something he could feel, see, and touch. It was an alignment of circumstance and stars and a moment like this one: heading to the ole’ swimming hole in the thick summer heat with his three new friends. It was looking in every direction and only seeing green.

  “North Carolina,” he said with a smile.

  The girls stood at the bottom of the falls, waiting for them to catch up. Panky was bent over, trying to catch her breath.

  “I feel fine,” Cora was saying to her. “Maybe you should stop smoking. You guys, tell her she should stop smoking.”

  “You should stop smoking,” Devin said.

  “I told you, I’ve been trying to cut down. Anyway, you’re one to talk.”

  “Weed is different.”

  “Whatever you say then.”

  They wandered out on the sun-warmed rocks, the waterfall roaring above them.

  Panky got out her phone and began taking pictures of everything. When she pointed it his way, he ripped his shirt off and struck a pose.

  She made a snide face and took another.

  “Hey,” Cora said, watching him. “Are we going to do this?”

  Everyone but Panky made their way up the trail, Cora leading the way. Instead of looking at the falls, Devin went back to focusing on her ass, flexing in front of him. It was almost enough to take his mind off the fear.

  He glanced back at Panky, who was all relaxed in the sunshine. He was jealous. She didn’t have to jump off a waterfall to impress anyone—she already knew she was cool.

  “What do you think?” Lucius peered over the ledge, placing a hand flat on his stomach. “About thirty feet?”

  “More like forty,” Cora said.

  “Whew.” Lucius breathed. “Looks bigger from up here.”

  “Yeah,” Cora said, eyes locked on Devin. “Are you scared?”

  Of course he was scared. Everyone was scared of falling to their death, aside from action heroes and people who take too much acid and think they can fly. He didn’t want to jump off a cliff, but the only other way down was backtracking the trail like an old man with a cane and an oxygen tank whose heart clearly wouldn’t survive a forty-foot fall.

  He didn’t want to be an old man. He wanted to be an action hero.

  “No,” he said, swallowing. “Not scared.”

  “I’ll go first.” She grinned and leaped off, not a hint of nervousness or even preparation on her face. She just went, and by the time he shouted for her to wait, she was already falling, her hair billowing up into the air. She clapped her hands over her nose before she hit.

  Kipsplunnshhhh. That was what it sounded like.

  He froze, every muscle in his body tensing up as he watched the water.

  “Cora!”

  “Give her a second …”

  Just as he thought he was going to die from holding his breath, she burst through the surface, shouting happily and waving up at them. She said something to Panky and swam to the side, flipping onto her back and blowing kisses at him. He smiled and waved, turning to Lucius.

  They spoke at the same time: “You go next.”

  “We can’t bitch out after she made it seem like nothing.”

  “Right. Okay. Not gonna bitch out.” Lucius took a few steps back and jumped up and down, shaking out his arms. He paused.

  “Maybe you should go first.”

  “Dude! Come on.”

  “All right,” Lucius said. “Let’s just do it. I’m gonna do it. Oh, help me Jesus! I can’t look down there again or I’m not gonna go. Is she out of the way?”

  “You’re all clear.”

  Lucius took three well-planned steps and went flying off, uttering some sort of war cry as he plummeted down.

  His splash made a bigger and heavier kuh-blumpshhhh.

  Devin looked down long enough to make sure he was out of the way and then took a few steps back, staring up at the sky. He could faintly hear the: “Jump! Jump! Jump!” from down below, ignoring it in order to focus on not dying.

  Scratch that. To focus on the glory.

  A scream rose in his throat as he leaped, regretting it a second too late. His stomach rocketed into his chest cavity as he plunged, eyes squeezed shut. He felt the stinging slap and the coldness enveloped him.

  He sank until he felt the rocks beneath his toes and then floated there; two seconds of calm between the terrifying plummet and the reward that was adrenaline.

  He surfaced, bursting through with his fists in the air, the rush coursing through him.

  “Yeah, brother! Woo!” Lucius was applauding with his han
ds over his head. “How ace was that?”

  Ace indeed. It was like healthy methamphetamine.

  “I’m going again,” Cora shouted, heading back for the top. Lucius went too.

  “Enjoy getting amongst your thrill,” Panky called after them.

  Devin sat down, dripping water all over the rock.

  “Had enough, then?”

  “I’d say so, yeah.”

  She snapped another picture of him, looking at it in satisfaction.

  “Was it a good one?” he asked.

  “Very,” she said, setting it aside. “So, have you shagged her yet?”

  “Will you knock it off already?”

  “That’s a no.”

  “She’s not some commune whore.”

  Panky laughed. “You just haven’t hit the right button, yet.”

  “Look,” he said, flushing. “I wasn’t even trying to have a relationship. I’m cool with just knowing her.”

  “Can I give you a word of advice?”

  “Sure.”

  “A girl like Cora already knows she’s beautiful. She’s been hearing it all her life. She doesn’t want a man to sit at her feet like a drooling dog. She wants a man to challenge her.”

  “ … Which one am I doing?”

  Panky made a face like, please.

  “She told you this?”

  “No—but that’s what all women want, Devin.”

  There was a howl behind them, and he turned and saw Cora and Lucius, side by side. They hit the water, making a huge splash.

  Devin turned back to Panky.

  “In simple terms,” she said, lowering her sunglasses. “Don’t put the pussy on the pedestal. It makes her vain and catty.” She made a little cat hiss and smiled.

  He blinked, feeling stunned like something wicked and extraordinary had just happened, but he wasn’t sure what it was.

  Cora climbed onto the rock, dripping more water everywhere. Lucius was close behind her. They all curled up in the sun and dried off for a few minutes, and then Lucius packed everyone a bowl and they got into a discussion about all the things they had jumped from. Lucius had the most impressive resume, beginning with a tandem skydive with his uncle at age fifteen. He went on to bungee jump in Thailand, do the really big rope swings in Laos, jump a few smaller cliffs at various places around the world, and now, one kind-of-sort-of big cliff.

  The only thing Devin had done that even came close was a death-defying leap from the awning of the porch into the swimming pool one night when Jess’s parents were out of town. He was five beers deep when he came up with the idea and seven before he actually considered trying it.

  “I think you’re all mad,” Panky said, holding up her foot. “See that scar? ‘Oh Panky, jump from the rocks, it’s just water Panky!’ I was nearly gimped for life.”

  “First of all,” Lucius said. “She wasn’t anywhere near ‘gimped,’ and secondly, that’s the beauty of jumping from rocks into water—you jump where there’s water, not rocks.”

  “You said there weren’t rocks, you git.”

  “Water,” he teased, pointing it out. “Rocks.”

  “Fuck off.”

  “You should have done it, Panky.” Cora shook her head. “It’s such a great feeling. Plus, it’s a tradition. Everyone who comes through here does it.”

  “I’m willing to bet that everyone most certainly does not.”

  “Well most people at least get in the water.”

  “She has a point,” Lucius said.

  “Yeah,” Devin agreed.

  Lucius made a devilish face as he lunged over, wrestling her toward the water. Panky let out a stream of profanities and fought back, trying to get around behind him. They hovered near the edge.

  “Let me help,” Devin said, pushing them both in.

  He and Cora jumped in after them, and soon, they were all amidst a splash war.

  “Gang up on the Brit! Gang up on the Brit!” Lucius sang, thrashing. “Her country was intolerant of your ancestors’ religious views!”

  Panky climbed on his back and choked him, looking like a rabid little river creature. Lucius gagged and dunked them both under.

  Devin was laughing and choking on river. Paradise before had been a pipe dream.

  ***

  “Hey Raven?” Devin said as he chopped celery the next morning. “I’ve been wondering about something.”

  “Yes?”

  “What happened to Cora’s sister?”

  Raven set the knife on the counter and picked up the towel, wiping off her hands.

  “She told me that she drowned,” he went on, watching her cautiously. “But she didn’t share any details. I was just curious.”

  “The truth is,” Raven said. “No one really knows. They found her in the river, downstream from a popular swimming spot. It was a place kids would hang out and drink, but none of her friends claim to have been there that night, and no one who was there saw her. It’s possible that she could have been with someone, but the police said there were no obvious signs of foul play.”

  “When did this happen?”

  “Last year.”

  “Oh jeez—I had no idea it was so recent.”

  “That’s why Cora came here.” She paused, her eyes filling with tears.

  “Please don’t cry. I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” Raven said. “It’s a good cry because I loved her.”

  “Was she like Cora?”

  “In some ways. The divorce affected her worse, maybe because she was older. She developed an eating disorder and a bunch of other problems, but you never would have known it by looking at her. She had a real way about her, always keeping a calm voice and listening carefully to anything you said. When she spoke, she wasn’t afraid to look in your eyes. As a kid, she’d just stand there, presenting a case of why she should be allowed a later bedtime. We all thought she’d end up a lawyer just like her daddy.”

  “What about Cora?”

  “Cora was always more wild.” Raven paused to laugh. “Oh, bless her. From age two to ten she was completely unstoppable. We’d be out on the street somewhere and she’d just take off running ahead of everyone else, trying to see if she could lose us. Her father would chase after her, yelling at her to stop, but she’d just run like the wind, laughing her little tail off.”

  “That doesn’t surprise me.”

  “She’s come a long way, Devin. You’ve met her at a good time in her life. She’s been cleansed by the hurricanes, readied for a new path. Something tells me you have, too.”

  “I know this sounds crazy, but I think I’m falling in love with her.”

  Raven smiled. “I knew you would.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Soul mates. I know. Way to lay on the pressure, lady.”

  “Hate to break it to you honey, but it’s happening whether you feel the pressure or not. All of this … I saw it all in a flash. I felt you coming here to change us with your love.”

  “You make me sound like Jesus.”

  “We’re all like Jesus,” Raven said. “All it takes is love.”

  “These flashes,” he said. “You get them often?”

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  “Do they always come true?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay then.” He breathed out. “Did you see anything about what happens if I go to India?”

  Raven smiled. “Any number of things could happen. You always have free will, Devin.”

  “If there’s free will, how do the flashes always come true?”

  She shrugged. “The flashes are the result of will, resonating back through time.”

  “But if you can see the future, can’t you change it?”

  “Many people have asked that question over time, Devin. I don’t know the answer.”

  “So … you didn’t see anything about India.”

  “I saw a man on a journey, and both the journey and the destination were beautiful. I saw a man with an open heart who knows how to love and be lo
ved, even despite having loved and lost before. Whatever will be, will be, Devin. You have nothing to worry about.”

  “I know you think I’m this awesome guy and everything, but the truth is, I have no idea what I’m doing with any of this.”

  “You don’t have to know. Just be you.”

  “I’ll try.”

  “You don’t have to try,” she said, smiling. “It’s what I like best about you.”

  Her voice had a nice resonance, like the ending of a chapter. Before he could say anything else, Lucius burst through the door singing, “Milk thistle, milk thistle thistle—yeah!”

  Devin was pretty sure he wasn’t going to start getting flashes anytime soon, so he had to rely on a positive sounding horoscope, a good dream, and a few other unreliable modes of predicting the future to convince himself that tonight would be the night he and Cora made their love official. Sexually, that is.

  When she invited him over to her cabin and locked the door behind them, he thought it was a done deal. But the length of time that a girl could tease was dependent on some weird mix of her morals and the depths of cruelty in her heart. He only just met Cora. She could be capable of anything.

  “You,” he said, hovering over her in bed. “Are driving me crazy.”

  “I told you I wasn’t easy.”

  “Hey, I’ll take whatever I can get,” he said, kissing her neck. “I’ll wait nearby, starving, refusing tidbits from anyone else in the interest of keeping my life purely about you. I’ll stop seeing all my friends, I’ll tell my father that I’m going to live in the desert, I’ll burn all my money—”

  “That’s not necessary. But thank you.”

  “It’s necessary until I have you.”

  “Define ‘having’ me.”

  He paused. “Well … There would be all the sex. Then, there would be the promise of more sex forever and ever until we die. We could eat cupcakes together, too.”

  “You’re weird.”

  “You’re laughing at me for being weird.”

  She giggled and grabbed him around the neck, pulling him into a kiss. He kissed back, letting his hands explore down her sides.

  “Let me see those tattoos,” he said, tugging at the waistband of her shorts.