by Andi Loveall
“Walking down the road toward town. I can’t … back home. They’re … house.”
“What?”
“They’re at the house.”
“Who?”
“Them!”
He paused. “What?”
“Devin, I need you.” She sounded like she was crying. “Can you come get me and bring me to where you are? It’s not safe to talk on the phone.”
Them. He felt a surge of nervous energy move through his body. What the hell was going on? Surely Lucius wouldn’t have weaseled her into pranking him on a night like tonight.
“Don’t tell … others,” she said. “Just come.”
“I can’t leave them here.”
“We’ll come back and get them later, just take my car and come! Devin, please!”
“Okay,” he said. “Just keep walking toward town. I’ll find you.”
He hung up, standing there for a minute and staring down at the phone. This was not good.
What was he supposed to tell the others? No matter what excuse he made up, they would say that he was too messed up to drive. He felt alert enough to manage the road, but he probably looked a hot mess, and he would be screwed if he got pulled over. Still, he had to go.
There was only one way to manage this that he could see.
He got back in the car and opened the glove box, fishing around until he found a small notepad and pen. He scribbled out a note.
Hi guys. I love you. Something came up, and I had to go get Cora. Don’t worry, I’m fine to drive. We’ll be back to get you guys in a little while. Here is your phone if you need to call us.
Please don’t be mad. I love you!
Devin
PS. If I’m not back in a few hours, don’t go home.
He rubber banded the note to the phone and hurried back. The others were right where he left them. He started to approach and then stopped, ducking back behind another group of people. He glanced at the woman to the right of him, gently tugging on her shirt.
“Excuse me,” he said. “Can you do me a huge favor?”
“Sure, what?”
“See that girl on the ground over there? The one with the purple shorts? Can you wait about thirty seconds and then give her this for me?”
The woman smiled. “Is it a love note?”
“Uh … yes. A love note. Thank you. Thank you so much.”
He started walking away, looking over his shoulder to make sure she was actually going to do it. When he saw her approaching the others, he broke into a run. The endorphins made fresh waves of ecstasy wash over him.
Them. He probably should have been scared, but he wasn’t.
He didn’t pay enough attention on the way in, and finding his way back to the freeway proved harder than he thought it would be. When he got it figured, twenty minutes had gone by. He knew she was probably waiting, scared, and alone, and it was ruining his buzz. He turned the air conditioner on high, leaning forward and gasping with euphoria as the cold blast hit his face. He couldn’t stop sucking on his lips.
“Drugs are bad,” he said. “Drugs are very, very bad.”
He kept his eyes peeled when he got to their exit, checking every gas station and parking lot he could see. He drove a mile up the road before he finally spotted her. She looked like a teenage runaway in her sleep shorts and cowgirl boots, a hoodie pulled up over her messy hair.
He pulled over.
“Devin,” she said, climbing in. “Oh my God.”
He pulled her to him, holding her tight. She was breathing hard and shaking.
“What happened?”
“Just drive.”
“Where?”
“Anywhere. The city.”
“Okay,” he said, doing as told.
She twisted around in her seat, watching the road behind them.
“I was going down the hill,” she said, still out of breath. “So I could get on the Internet before bed. I was halfway down the trail, and I heard cars in the driveway. It was more than one car, so I knew it wasn’t you guys. So I walked through the trees to get a better look, and that was when I saw them surrounding the house.”
“Who?”
“DEA agents,” she whispered the words. “Like twenty of them.”
“Oh … shit.”
She let out an angry roar, lurching forward and slamming her fist against the dashboard.
“No, no,” Devin said, reaching for her. “Please, don’t do that.”
“They had guns,” she wailed, holding her wrist. “They had guns and dogs, and I don’t know what happened to Walter and Raven! I don’t know what happened!”
“It’s okay. They’re going to be okay.”
“It’s not okay! Are you kidding me?”
“Okay, you’re right. I don’t know.”
“Devin!”
“Okay. Just … Walk me through it, sweetie. How did you escape?”
“They didn’t see me, so I went back up the trail and cut across the neighbor’s land.”
“Whoa,” he said, drawing out the word. “That’s so bad ass.”
He reached over and touched her leg, getting hit with a bolt of her energy. A shudder of squishy-good feelings moved through his body, making him twitch.
She looked at him funny. “Are you all right? You’re dripping with sweat.”
“I’m fine.”
“Did you drop acid?”
“Uh,” he said, clearing his throat. “Something like that, maybe.”
“Something? What?”
He grinned dreamily. “Stars.”
“Okay,” she said, glaring at him. “Stop the car.”
“Huh?”
“Get out. I’m driving.”
He did as instructed, crawling over the center divider and rubbing his face against the fuzzy material on the seat cover. She rolled her eyes at him before flooring the gas and taking off.
“So, you were rolling with Panky?” she said, her voice huffy. “Why does that not surprise me?”
“Not only Panky, all of them—”
“Doesn’t surprise me,” she repeated. “Did you have sex with her?”
“What?” He got situated in the seat and put on his belt. “Are you kidding me? No!”
“I can’t believe you did that.”
“What, you’re against recreational drugs now? What about the mushrooms?”
“Well … Maybe I regret that now.”
“Why?”
She ignored him, playing with her phone.
“Don’t text while driving,” he said, snatching it from her hands.
“Panky is freaking out,” she said. “She keeps asking about a letter. I told her we would come get them around two thirty. Hopefully, Walter will call before then.”
“You called him?”
“The house phone and each of their cell phones,” she said. “But only once. I couldn’t leave a message. What if they were listening? I didn’t want them to know I ran away. It would seem suspicious.”
“Wait,” Devin said. “What are we so worried about? We cleaned the basement, remember?”
“They stopped growing. That doesn’t mean they didn’t still have tons of pot.”
“Did they? Do you know that they did?”
“No,” she said. “I don’t know.”
“I’m pretty sure Walter already took it somewhere.” He began to laugh. “Oh dude, this is awesome. Those assholes are gonna tear that place apart until they find the entrance to the basement and get all happy, thinking they found something—”
“It’s not awesome, Devin!” Cora’s eyes were distraught. “We don’t even know what they have on Walter. What if they have real evidence? What if someone ratted him out? A while ago, I overheard Casey crying to Raven about how her asshole boyfriend got busted. He used to come around here, but he and Walter don’t get along, and they stopped doing business with him. But I’m pretty sure he still sells weed he gets from Casey.”
“Cora, that doesn’t mean—”
“Oh my God, what if one of us … ”
“No,” he said. “None of us are rats.”
“Didn’t you say Lucius knew?”
“He didn’t know. He suspected.”
“It could be any of them,” she said. “Don’t you ever stop and think that Rocky is a little too stupid? Like maybe it’s all an act?”
“Stop,” Devin said, feeling hurt. “It’s not them. If undercover DEA agents organized a raid, they would stick around the premises to enjoy the show, wouldn’t you think? They wouldn’t drop ecstasy and make out with a glowworm like Lucius is doing right now.”
Cora raised an eyebrow. “Glowworm?”
“Never mind,” he said. “The point is, you can relax. We may be fucked, but you can trust your friends.”
She looked smug. “You’re gonna be shitting bricks when you come down.”
“No, I won’t. By the time I come down, Walter will have called to say it’s okay.”
“You do realize they probably went through all of our stuff—which means they have your passports. If they find anything, they’ll take us all in for questioning. You’ll miss your trip.”
A chill ran down Devin’s spine. He hadn’t even thought about that. It stunned him, but he decided to push forward with blinding, searing optimism.
“They won’t give a shit about our passports,” he said. “Because they won’t find anything.”
Cora pulled into a convenience store at the corner of a steep intersection with big, stooping trees all around.
“I need to eat,” she said, getting out.
Devin climbed out and stretched, breathing in the misty air and looking at the light glimmering on the wet pavement. He went inside, squinting a hello to the bored-looking woman at the register and heading straight for the bathrooms.
The sight of his reflection shocked him. His eyes were giant and foreign, and his lips were all sucked up and red. It was disturbing. Yet all he could feel was love. He breathed on the dirty mirror, fogging it up and drawing a heart.
“Please God,” he said aloud. “Let everything be okay.”
He took a piss, washed his face with cold water, and came out to find Cora waiting for him with a fresh cup of coffee, a bag of caramels, and two canisters of potato chips.
“I look really fucked up,” he whispered to her. “Like, really.”
“This is the one circumstance where it’s better to be in public than at home.”
“I think I need an orange juice or something,” he said, looking around. “Ooh! And an ice cream. An ice cream sounds good.”
She shook her head. “Only you could eat when you’re cracked out.”
They went back to the car and sat there, eating their food.
“Mhmm,” Cora said, popping a chip into her mouth. “Junk food is the only thing that helps me when I’m stressed.”
“There’s no point in being stressed,” he said, swirling his ice cream. “Whatever will be, will be.”
“That doesn’t help me,” she said. “Not when the ‘whatever’ is something horrible.”
“Come on,” he said. “Don’t be like that. I’m trying to manifest the best possible outcome. Don’t you want to try with me?”
“How?”
“Passionately,” he said. “And with reckless abandon.”
“That doesn’t mean anything, Devin. Tell me what to do.”
“Accept your fate,” he said. “You always talk about fate. Accept it. Whatever happens, we’re all in this together, so—”
The phone lit up on the dash, releasing a sing-songy beep-de-deep-de-deep.
Cora screamed, spilling her caramels everywhere before lunging at it.
“See?” Devin said, laughing. “There you go.”
“Walter,” she said. “Hello? Raven!”
She listened for a long time as he sat there, pained. There was relief on her face, and he thanked God.
“Okay,” she said. “I love you, too. Bye.” She hung up, heaving with a sob.
“Good or bad?”
“It’s all a big mistake,” she said, crying. “That’s what she said. I think they were still there. She was being super careful. She said they were going to leave soon because they ‘clearly had the wrong house.’ They didn’t even find any paraphernalia because I guess—”
“I was out of herb, and the others brought their stashes to the party.”
“And I had my last joint with me,” she said, pulling it out of her purse. “I was gonna smoke it while I was online.”
“Holy shit … This is amazing.”
Her eyes were misting up. “Devin.”
He imagined how it might have gone down: Some tough-guy agent telling Walter he better watch himself—because they would be watching him. Walter would stand there all cool and collected with a smile on his face and say that he had no problem being watched. Because “when you’re watched, you’re seen.”
“It was you,” Cora said, pulling back and looking at him. “You manifested it.”
“Nah,” he said. “It was fate.”
“I wonder how long we should wait before we get the others and go home.”
“What do we tell them?”
“Since nothing came of it, and it was ‘all a big mistake,’ Raven thinks it’s best to keep them in the dark.”
“Well, we have to tell them something. What if their stuff was looked through?”
She paused. “They might not notice. Raven said they were cleaning up.”
“Don’t you think they have the right to know?”
“ … You’re right. I guess we have to tell them.”
He lit up inside. “Or, we could use this as a setup for a prank.”
“Don’t start.”
“I’m serious. I was just thinking about this the other day, and it’s genius. It makes even more sense now.”
“Don’t risk pissing him off and ruining your friendship. You’re about to go to India. Sometimes it’s best to let sleeping dogs lay.”
“You sound sexy when you use wise-sounding idioms,” he said, grinning. “And no worries—I won’t really screw with his head. Look, the whole point is for it to be obvious that we’re playing a prank. That way, we can blame any potential weirdness from the raid on us messing around. Walter and Raven’s secret will forever be protected, and we’ll get to laugh until we piss ourselves.”
“But you just said that they had the right to know.”
“And you just said they could be undercover,” Devin said. “Here, let me call Walter and see what he thinks.”
“Okay. But be careful what you say. Nothing is private anymore.”
It only took a couple of seconds for Walter to agree to the plan. He was in a good mood, high from coming out ahead in brush with the law. Raven was exhausted and about to go to bed, but he wanted to play. He wanted Devin and Cora to text him when they were a few minutes away and bring the others down to the basement when they got there. How Devin and Cora wanted to introduce the situation was on them—just as long as it didn’t involve the truth.
“Follow my lead,” Devin said.
Cora shrugged. “I’m not saying a word.”
“Perfect. Sit there in silence and act traumatized. Don’t respond even if they talk to you.”
“You’re a sociopath.”
They pulled up at the front of the campground at two thirty, just as promised. The bass was still going strong in the distance. They didn’t see the others anywhere. Cora parked and got out her phone, sending Panky a text. A moment later they appeared, looking trashed.
Rocky ran up first, making a bamp bamp bamp against the roof of the car with his fist.
“Boo!” He appeared in the window and jumped in. “You guys missed a sick party.”
“What was that?” Panky shrieked, climbing in after him and shoving Devin. Lucius followed, a huge grin on his face.
“I’m off aspirin,” he said, giving Devin two thumbs up. “What happened with you? We were picking up some crazy vib
es from out there on the vibe-o-sphere.”
“That note totally tripped us out, man,” Rocky said.
“Seriously,” Panky said. “What was that?”
Devin shook his head, forcing a nervous look. His only plan was to be as vague as possible. Cora buried her eyes in her hand, making a face like she had a headache. He could tell she was already trying not to laugh.
“You guys,” Lucius said. “Answer us.”
Devin licked his lips and wiped the sweat from his brow. “First … let me ask you. Have any of you seen anything weird these past few days?”
“Like what?” Rocky asked.
“I don’t know,” Devin said, glancing out the window. “Just anything … abnormal.”
“No,” Panky said. “Not at all.”
“Dude, just tell us,” Rocky said.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” Devin glanced at him in the rearview mirror. “Walter and Raven … They aren’t who you think they are.”
“What the bloody fuck does that mean?” Panky said.
“There’s a secret passageway in Walter’s study,” Devin said. “It leads down to an underground chamber.”
“You’re full of shit,” Panky said. “Cora’s laughing.”
“No, she’s not,” Devin said. “She’s trying not to cry. Have you no compassion?”
Cora started to gag on her laughter and hid it with a roaring sob. She covered her face, shoulders shaking. It sounded more demonic than sad, which played up the creepy weirdness and worked in his favor.
“So,” Panky said. “You’re saying you had to leave in the middle of the party because Walter has a secret chamber under his house?”
“It’s not the chamber,” Devin said, swallowing. “It’s what was kept in it.”
“I’m too messed up for this,” Lucius said, leaning back and closing his eyes.
Focusing on driving kept Cora from laughing, and Devin somehow managed to keep the nonsense going until they got home. He was saving his best creative juices for last.
He led them toward the house, signaling them to slow down and keep quiet. Lucius followed his lead, creeping along with such stealth that it almost made Devin lose his poker face. Cora lagged behind, doing her best to ignore all attempts at communication from the others. Every time she started to laugh, she went into the fake cry.
“What’s happening?” Lucius whispered. “You’re starting to freak me out.”
