by Leigh Bale
With a greasy smile, he slid past Reese and stepped outside. The moment the door closed behind him, Katie breathed with relief.
“I’m sorry about that. He just showed up, asking where you were,” she explained.
Reese hiked one eyebrow, his gaze resting on her face. “Did you tell him I was staying at your cabin on Cove Mountain?”
“Of course not,” she assured him. “Nor did I agree to publish a story about you. At least, not without your permission.”
He inclined his head, but his eyes held a hint of doubt. “I appreciate that.”
“I don’t want trouble, Reese,” she said. “I think for now, it’s important that people don’t know you’re Chrissy’s father. At least until the media frenzy settles down.”
“I agree. Chrissy is innocent in all of this and I don’t want her to get hurt,” he said.
Whew! Katie was glad he understood and agreed with her motivation.
“Did anyone see you pull into the back of the motel?” she asked.
“No, I was careful. I did a little shopping in town, but I wore a baseball cap and kept my head down to hide my face. When I came here, I took the long way around, to ensure I wasn’t followed.” He tugged on the brim of his cap for emphasis. “I parked in your garage. I hope that’s okay.”
“Yes. I doubt Tom will tell anyone you’re here. He’s too anxious to get your story for himself. He won’t want to share.” She glanced at the flowers. “You look like you’re going to a birthday party.”
“I am, sort of.” He stepped forward and held out the bouquet. “These are for you.”
She backed up. Confusion filled her mind. He was giving her flowers? What on earth for?
“Don’t worry,” he said. “They’re just to say thank you...for Chrissy. I wasn’t here when she was born, so I never got to thank you for giving me a daughter. I thought I should tell you now.”
She stood there, frozen in place. Someone could have knocked her over with a piece of string. His words sounded genuine. Something she’d never expected. In all these years, no one except her dad had given her flowers. Reese was her first love, her first kiss, her first everything. But no more. If he thought a bouquet of daisies could make up for lost time, he was dead wrong.
“I’m afraid I can’t accept them,” she said.
“Why not?”
Because she’d loved him once, that’s why. And because she didn’t trust him. She didn’t want him to be the first man to give her flowers. Not when it didn’t mean anything.
“Because...because I just can’t,” she murmured.
“Sure you can. They’re just flowers, Katie. Between friends,” he said.
Friends? Well, okay. Maybe she could do friends. After all, they did have a child together.
“All right. Friends. Thank you.” She reached out and took the flowers, her heart filled with misgivings. His fingers brushed hers and she drew back quickly, feeling the warmth zinging up her arm like an electric current.
He didn’t seem to notice as he held up the wrapped gift. “And this is for Chrissy. A belated birthday present.”
Katie stared in dumb shock. She’d wanted Reese to be involved in Chrissy’s life, but she hadn’t thought it through. Hadn’t considered what it might mean to her and her daughter.
“It’s Easter wrap,” she said, focusing on the little rabbits.
He glanced down, his face flushing red. “I’m sorry. It’s all Grover’s Grocery had at the moment. It was this or wedding wrap. They’ll be getting some birthday wrap in next week on their delivery truck, but I didn’t want to wait.”
Katie hid a smile of amusement, wondering about the contents. It was way too small for a dolly or some other little-girl toy. So what could it be?
“I’m sure Chrissy will love the bunnies,” she said.
“Is she here?” he asked, craning his head to see into the back office.
“No, she’s still at kindergarten. Dad left a while ago to run some errands before he picks her up. She should be here in time for lunch.”
“Maybe I can make myself useful in the meantime. I’m here to work on the new roof for your shed.”
“We can hire a man from town to take care of that,” she said, wishing he’d leave, yet hoping he’d stay. Oh, she didn’t know what she wanted anymore. Her mind whirled in confusion. For Chrissy’s sake, she tried to be polite.
“I’d like to help out,” he said. “And quite frankly, I’m bored and would like to repay you and Charlie for your kindness. Besides, repairing a roof is right up my alley. I’m good at that kind of work.”
Again, she detected a note of sincerity in him. But being near this man befuddled her.
“Payment isn’t necessary. We’re glad we could help,” she said.
“I understand. But do you mind if I head out back to take a look at the roof anyway?” he asked.
“Go ahead. You’ll find tools and supplies inside the shed.”
What else could she say? He couldn’t get to know Chrissy if he wasn’t around here. Katie would just have to get used to him. For the time being.
He flashed a charming grin, turned and headed out back, as though happy to have something to do. He whistled as he went, a lilting tune she’d never heard before. His stride was quick, a confident swagger that said he had a purpose. And she realized that she hadn’t seen him this happy since he’d arrived in town.
Watching him go, she wondered how she could ever get through the rest of the day with him hanging around. She’d invited him to dinner, but now she thought it was a mistake. He’d probably be here for lunch, too. Sooner or later, they’d have to tell Chrissy that Reese was her father. It was inevitable that the girl would become attached to the man...just in time for him to leave town again and break Chrissy’s heart.
* * *
Reese slid the shingle rake beneath several old roof tiles and pried them up. After dropping the rotted slates into a trash bin on the ground below, he repeated the action in another section, moving in an orderly manner. He’d retrieved a ladder from inside the shed, then climbed up on the roof, and had been working for twenty minutes. Even with the hot sun beating down on him, it felt good to be doing something useful. In fact, he remembered a time when he’d helped his father do this chore. One of the rare times when his dad wasn’t drunk and angry at the world. A good memory Reese wanted to hold on to.
The exposed tar paper showed corrosion where it needed to be replaced. No problem. Charlie had a couple rolls of roofing felt sitting next to the riding lawn mower inside. In fact, Reese had noticed strips of metal drip edge, as well as boxes of new shingles and one-inch roofing nails. Everything he needed to complete the project. He figured he’d have the work finished by the end of the day.
“Ouch!” Reese dropped the shingle rake. He hadn’t been paying attention and had pinched his thumb. Pulling off his leather gloves, he shook his hand to ease the sting.
“Reese?”
He turned and looked down. Katie stood below, her head tilted up as she watched him. A tall, muscular man with dark, curly hair and steely blue eyes stood beside her. Reese tensed, thinking this must be another news reporter.
“Yes?” Reese sounded a bit too defensive. He couldn’t help feeling suspicious of everyone he met.
Katie made the introductions. “This is Sean Nash. He’s the superintendent of the Minoa Hotshot Crew. Their base is here in town. I thought you might like to meet him.”
Oh. Another wildfire fighter. But that didn’t matter. Reese didn’t want to talk to any colleagues, either.
Sean lifted an arm to shield his eyes against the glare of the sun. “I’m glad to meet you. It looks like you’re staying busy.”
Reese heard no censure in the man’s voice, but he stiffened just the same. Right now, his crew should still be alive and he should be in Colorado, fighting wildfi
res with them. Not here in Minoa, shingling the roof of Charlie’s shed.
“Yeah, it’s good to stay busy,” he said.
In a glance, Reese took in Sean’s spruce-green pants and navy T-shirt with his hotshot logo imprinted on the left front side in white lettering. Reese had worn a similar uniform when he was on the job. He wanted to feel comfortable with this man. After all, he was a comrade...someone who understood how close a hotshot crew became. Like family. But then Reese thought better of it. As the leader of the Minoa Hotshots, Sean was undoubtedly experienced enough to make his own judgments about what had happened to Reese’s team. And right now, Reese didn’t want to hear any more criticism.
“Can you come down here?” Katie asked.
Reese didn’t want to, but something in her gentle voice caused him to obey. For some reason, he hated the thought of disappointing her. He shimmied down the ladder and stood next to her. When he spoke to Sean, he tried not to sound too gruff. “What do you want?”
Sean slid his hands into his pants pockets, a congenial smile on his face. “I’d like to offer you a job.”
Reese frowned, thinking he’d heard wrong. “A job?”
“Yeah. On my hotshot crew. I know you no longer have a team of your own, and I have an opening for a second assistant superintendent.”
“A second?” Reese asked.
“Yeah, Rollo Simpson is my first assistant, but he’s out on FMLA right now. His wife and one of his daughters were recently killed in a car accident.”
Reese inwardly cringed. His troubles paled in comparison. Even so, he didn’t think he wanted to fight fires anymore.
“I’m really hurting for leadership,” Sean continued. “It’d be a permanent, year-round position with full benefits. If you’re interested, we could use someone with your experience and skills.”
An assistant superintendent. All the other positions on a hotshot crew were seasonal jobs. A month earlier, Reese would have jumped at such an opportunity. He’d worked hard as a crew boss, hoping one day he’d get a promotion like this. A dream come true.
But not anymore.
Reese glanced at Katie. She stood quietly listening, her face neutral. He couldn’t even contemplate accepting such a job. The memory of losing his team was still too strong. The cloying smoke. The broiling flames. The screams of pain. The thought of fighting wildfires again terrified him. He couldn’t be an assistant superintendent in charge of other people’s lives. No way, no how.
“How...how did you know I was in town? How do you know I’m a good firefighter?” Reese asked.
Sean shrugged. “Your forest supervisor called me. He gave you an outstanding reference. We both think you’re the right man for this job.”
“Ah.” Reese nodded. He’d told his supervisor where he was staying. The investigation into the deaths of his crew was ongoing and they might need to speak with him again.
“With his recommendation, I feel completely comfortable offering you this job,” Sean said.
Reese swallowed hard. “Did he... Did he tell you what happened?”
Katie shifted her weight, standing a bit closer to him. At first he thought it was a protective gesture, to silently offer her support. But that couldn’t be right. He’d seen the distrust in her eyes when he’d given her the flowers. And when she’d told him about Chrissy, she’d seemed wary and nervous. Like she didn’t really want him here but had no choice. And then her newspaper editor had shown up at the motel. Reese hoped she wasn’t angling for a story like the other reporters he’d encountered. Surely she wouldn’t do that to him. Would she?
Sean lifted his head and met Reese’s eyes. “Yes, I know what happened. But I also know it wasn’t your fault. Your fire management officer said that you’re a highly qualified firefighter and he wished you had been the lookout at the time. If so, your team might still be alive.”
Ah, that hurt. Because Reese had found out later that the investigation team believed Logan, one of his buddies assigned as their lookout that day, had fallen asleep on the job. Reese had been on his way up the mountain to relieve Logan when the burnover had occurred. Reese had stood on the promontory and watched helplessly as his entire crew had died. But hearing Logan disparaged in any way made Reese feel defensive and angry. No matter their failings, Reese felt loyal to every man on his team. After all, they’d been working on that wildfire for several days with no sleep. They were beyond exhausted, but the command station hadn’t let them rest. Instead, they’d pushed the crew beyond their endurance and it had cost them dearly.
Thinking about it now made Reese tremble. His heart beat like a hydraulic drill and his breath came heavy to his lungs. A wave of panic washed over him, but he fought it off. Post-traumatic stress disorder, his doctor called it. But Reese couldn’t fall apart now. Not here in front of Katie.
“Reese, are you all right?” she asked, lifting a hand and resting it on his arm.
His face must have given his feelings away. Her touch brought him back to reality, but he didn’t want her pity. He didn’t want anything from her. He nodded, trying to swallow against the hard lump lodged in his throat.
She dropped her hand but stayed close beside him. For some reason, her presence gave him the composure he needed to hold it together.
“I’m...I’m not sure I want to fight wildfires anymore. I don’t know what I want to do now,” he said in all honesty.
Sean exhaled a deep sigh, then spoke in a gentle voice. “I feared as much. Believe me, I understand how you feel.”
Yeah, sure he did. No one knew how he felt.
“I lost my best friend while fighting fires two summers ago,” Sean continued. “I was the squad leader in charge, so I blamed myself for what happened. Zach Carpenter and I were trapped in a chimney area. I never should have taken him there to work, but we thought we could get a jump on the blaze. At the time, Zach’s sister was a member of my crew and we were engaged to be married. But losing Zach caused a horrible rift that broke us apart. I almost died with Zach, and losing him made me question everything I used to believe in. My profession, my relationship with my fiancée, my faith in God. I was pretty lost for a long time.”
Hmm. Maybe Sean did understand what he was going through.
“What helped you find your way?” Reese asked quietly. He’d give almost anything if he could figure this out and find the peace he hungered for.
Sean shrugged. “Tessa refused to give up on me. Don’t get me wrong. She was angry at first. She believed I must have done something to get her brother killed. It took both of us a long time to realize it was no one’s fault. It just happened. But she encouraged me to rely on the Lord. To hand my grief and fears over to Him. It wasn’t easy, but finally, I did. And it made all the difference in the world. I’m not saying that all my problems are over. There are days when I think about losing Zach and it’s still like a knife in my heart. But my faith in God has allowed me to cope with what happened. To know that the Lord loves each one of us and has our lives in His control. Tessa and I were married last December. We’ll never forget Zach, but we’ve learned how to get past the grief.”
“Congratulations,” Reese said, unable to muster much enthusiasm. His sorrow still felt like heavy chains resting across his shoulders. He couldn’t seem to get free of it no matter what he did.
Reese wanted to be friends with this man but wasn’t sure he dared. Between his childhood, growing up with an alcoholic father and the events of the past couple of weeks, he had become distrustful of people. It seemed they all wanted to use him for their own ends. He was happy that Sean had found peace, but it still left Reese nowhere. It all sounded nice, but he didn’t think he could turn to God for help with his heartache. He’d never been a praying man. Not as a teenager growing up in his father’s home, and not now that he was an adult. He’d learned to rely on no one but himself. And that was enough. Or at least, it used to be. Now
he wasn’t so sure.
Sean reached into his pocket, pulled out a business card and handed it to Reese. “You’ll need some time to recover from what happened. I can hold this job open for a little while longer, until you’re ready. And when that time comes, the Minoa Hotshots are here to help. Anytime you need to talk, I’m available to listen.”
Reese took the card, trying not to crumple it in his fist. Instead, he forced himself to be polite. After all, what had happened wasn’t Sean’s fault and he was only trying to help. “Thanks. I appreciate it. Really, I do.”
And he meant it. Sean might be the only person he knew who really did understand what he was going through.
“Well, I better get back to work. I’ll see you around.” Sean nodded, then turned and walked away.
“Are you really okay?” Katie asked when they were alone.
Reese couldn’t look at her. He just nodded, feeling empty inside. Already, he’d shown this woman too much weakness. He knew she harbored resentment toward him. He didn’t want to make it any worse by telling her about his guilt and post-traumatic stress disorder.
“You really don’t think you’ll return to firefighting?” she asked.
He bowed his head and stared at the steel tips of his work boots. “I don’t know. My entire team is gone and I’m not sure I want to work with a strange crew.”
But the truth was he didn’t know if he could face the fire again. Not without panicking. Not without being overcome by the harsh memories. And he didn’t want to endanger anyone else’s life because he couldn’t do his job to the best of his abilities.
“Then what will you do to earn a living?” she asked.
He shrugged. “I’m not sure yet. I’ve thought that maybe I’d move to Reno and see if I can find some work there.”
