by Leigh Bale
“Doing what?” she asked.
“Maybe construction. I’m pretty good with my hands and I’m a hard worker.”
Reno was a two-hour drive away. Too far for him to see Chrissy every day. But maybe he could visit her on weekends and holidays.
Katie took a step closer. “I know you might find this difficult to believe right now, but it’s going to be okay. You just have to trust in the Lord. He’ll help you through this.”
Reese snorted. “I’m afraid God and I don’t get along too well.”
“Maybe it’s time for you to change that. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that God never abandons us. Not even when we leave Him. He can help you. I know it. But it’s your choice,” she suggested bluntly. She paused for several moments, letting her words sink in. She looked at him so intensely that he thought she could see inside his blackened heart.
His jaw went slack, but she turned away. And what could he say to the truth? Nothing. Not when he knew she was dead right. Maybe it was something to think about.
“Lunch is almost ready,” she called over her shoulder. “Dad and Chrissy are back. Come inside and have a sandwich with us. You can finish this work later.”
He stared after her as she headed toward the motel. She’d ordered him, not asked. Although she’d invited him to dinner that night, he hadn’t planned on eating lunch, too. But watching her go, he couldn’t help smiling. Motherhood seemed to agree with her. The mousy bookworm was definitely gone.
“I’ll be there in just a minute,” he said, not trusting his voice to say more.
As she disappeared inside, he thought about the future. Just over two weeks ago, he didn’t have a care in the world. Now he’d lost all his friends and had a job offer in a profession he didn’t believe he could work anymore, an old girlfriend who resented him for leaving town without a word seven years earlier and a daughter who didn’t even know who he was.
No, that wasn’t quite right. Katie had never been his girlfriend. Until the night they’d graduated from high school, he’d barely spared her a glance. And though Reese felt the urge to leave town and run far away, he knew he couldn’t abandon Katie again. Not this time. He owed her and Chrissy so much. He just didn’t know how to breach the walls standing between them or how to fit comfortably in their lives. Maybe he never could.
Chapter Six
Katie turned toward the kitchen table with a large bowl of fruit salad. Her gaze promptly landed on the bouquet of daisies Reese had given her earlier. They sat in a vase of water in the middle of the table. Charlie must have put them there. When he’d returned home with Chrissy a few minutes earlier, they’d immediately noticed the flowers and the gift, where Katie had left them on the counter.
Standing nearby, Charlie poured glasses of milk. Chrissy leaned against the counter, her fingertips lightly brushing over the white bow on the present Reese had brought her. She had zeroed in on it like a heat-seeking missile.
When Charlie turned to put the gallon jug of milk back in the fridge, Katie whisked the flowers out of the way and replaced them with the fruit salad.
Through the kitchen window, she saw Reese cross the backyard toward the motel. His tall, lean figure moved with ease, leather gloves peeking out from where he’d tucked them into one pocket. Dressed in faded blue jeans and work boots, he looked like a day laborer. Strong and tanned. Self-assured. A man’s man.
Funny how Reese had been incorporated into the family, as if he belonged here. But he didn’t. Not really.
He stepped inside the back door, his eyes meeting hers. He nodded and gave an apologetic smile. “Sorry to keep you waiting. Can you give me a moment to wash up?”
She nodded. “The bathroom is down the hall.”
He headed that way. She could hear the spray of water as he washed. Moments later, he returned and glanced at the table. A glint of approval flashed in his eyes.
“Lunch looks good,” he said.
Katie turned with a plate of sandwiches and her mouth fell open. Charlie had put the vase of daisies back in the middle of the table, the fruit salad pushed off to the side. She threw her father a disparaging glance, but he merely met her eyes with a challenging lift of his chin.
“What is this?” Chrissy asked, pointing at the gift sitting in front of her.
Reese glanced up as he pulled a chair out to sit down. A mischievous smile curved his handsome mouth. “It looks like a birthday gift to me.”
Chrissy shook her head. “It couldn’t be a birthday gift. It’s wrapped with Easter paper.”
“It is?” He peered at the present, as if noticing it for the first time.
“Yes, see the little bunnies.” Chrissy pointed out each one, as if it were obvious. Which it was.
He shrugged his too-wide shoulders. “Maybe it’s an Easter birthday gift. After all, Easter is when the Lord rose from the tomb to live again. It’s the greatest gift He could give us.”
Katie blinked. Reese’s mother had been a pious woman, but her recalcitrant son had rarely attended church as a teenager. Now hearing him talk about the resurrection seemed odd. She’d assumed he was a hedonist who didn’t believe in God. Maybe she was wrong.
“Who is the present for?” Chrissy pressed.
Reese rested his forearms on the table as Charlie took his seat. Katie followed suit, watching and listening to this exchange with interest.
“Doesn’t it say?” Reese asked, looking slightly pleased by this dialogue.
Chrissy picked up the gaily wrapped gift and checked it over twice. “No, there’s no card, but Mommy said you brought it for me.”
“Yes, it’s for you,” he said.
Her forehead crinkled in puzzlement. “But what for?”
“Your birthday, of course.”
“But it’s not my birthday.”
He tilted his head to one side, pretending to be confused. Lifting a hand, he scratched his head. “It’s not? That’s funny. I was almost certain it was your birthday. But I guess I made a mistake and will just have to take it back to the store.”
Chrissy gasped and Charlie chuckled with amusement.
“No, don’t take it back,” she pleaded. “Can’t I open it now? Please.”
Katie didn’t say a word. She quietly dished up fruit salad and placed a chicken salad sandwich on her daughter’s plate. A flash of memory filled her mind of Reese as a kid, teasing an attractive girl in their high school gymnasium. He’d been charming and playful just like now. Seeing him like this with her daughter reminded Katie that he was Chrissy’s father. That he’d never teased her this way. Never been charming toward her. Never really cared.
Except for the flowers he’d given her today.
A rattle of dishes brought Charlie’s head up and he looked in her direction. Katie realized she was trembling, and she sat back, gazing at her plate as she folded her hands in her lap. Pretending that nothing was wrong. Pretending that this was a normal day like any other. But it wasn’t.
“You can open the gift, if it’s all right with your mom,” Reese said.
Everyone turned and looked at Katie. Her face heated up like road flares, but she didn’t trust her voice to speak. She merely nodded.
With a cry of delight, Chrissy carefully removed the white bow from the present and set it aside. Then she shredded the paper. Once she hit the plethora of tape Reese had used to seal the ends, she had trouble getting the box open. Charlie, who was sitting nearest to her, assisted with a flick of his long fingers.
Chrissy lifted the narrow flap and then gasped. “Look!”
Katie sat up straighter, wondering what it could be.
Ever so gently, Chrissy reached inside the box and removed a wooden case. She raised the lid and reached inside, then held up a shiny silver compass. An expensive one, if Katie was any judge. She glanced at Reese, thinking he was crazy to buy some
thing so delicate for a six-year-old.
“Wow! My very own compass,” Chrissy cried as she held it reverently in her hands. “Now I can find my true north all by myself.”
“That’s right. I hope you like it,” Reese said.
“I love it.” Chrissy beamed a happy smile.
“Good. I’m glad.” Reese smiled, too.
“What do you say, Chrissy?” Katie prompted in a soft voice.
“Thank you. Thank you so, so, so much,” the girl replied.
“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Maybe after lunch, I can teach you how to use it,” Reese said.
“Yes. I’d love that more than anything in the whole wide world,” Chrissy said.
Charlie grunted in approval, but Katie sat there in stunned silence. She felt as though her ears were clogged, like she was underwater. Of all the gifts Katie had bought her daughter, Chrissy had never reacted like this. It was a compass, not a dolly. Not a puzzle or coloring books or something a little girl might like. And yet, from Chrissy’s reaction, you would have thought it was the most precious gift she’d ever received.
Katie made a pretense of passing a plate of carrot and celery sticks to Charlie. As he led the four of them in a blessing on the food, she bowed her head, but her eyes remained open. She couldn’t concentrate. Couldn’t get used to the idea of Reese being here in their lives. And yet it felt as though he’d always been here. But he hadn’t. Not once.
“You want some chips?” Charlie asked, holding a basket of barbecue potato chips toward her.
She shook her head, her thoughts scattering. Picking up her fork, she forced herself to spear a chunk of watermelon and put it in her mouth. While Chrissy and Reese chatted about the compass, Katie could feel her father’s gaze resting on her like a ten-ton sledge. She couldn’t pretend she was happy about this situation. Not when she knew how Reese had always felt about her. He’d been bushwhacked with the news that he had a child.
She steeled her heart, reminding herself why she’d told him the truth. This was about Chrissy, meeting her daddy and making her happy. Otherwise, Reese wouldn’t be here now. This had nothing to do with the adults in the room. He didn’t care about Katie herself. Not one bit. And that hurt most of all.
* * *
Reese barely tasted his lunch. Looking around the table, he felt odd and out of place. Until he’d returned to town, he’d never had this experience before. Sitting at the table, having a simple meal as happy chatter flowed around him. Like a real family. And yet he sensed that Katie wasn’t happy.
He passed her the fruit salad, even though she’d barely touched what she already had on her plate. She was way too quiet and he wanted to engage her in conversation.
As she took the bowl, their gazes met. Her fingers brushed against his, her skin warm and smooth. Her cheeks were pink, her eyes wide with uncertainty. A strand of hair stuck to her forehead. She reached up and brushed it away, looking like the naive, uncertain girl he used to know.
She broke eye contact, as though she couldn’t stand to look at him. He realized she must still resent him. He couldn’t blame her. He’d taken her for granted all those years ago. She’d trusted him then, but he’d betrayed her. And now, a part of him wanted to regain that trust. To regain her affection and admiration. But he wasn’t sure how.
Twenty minutes later, he was outside in the back of the motel, crouched beside Chrissy as they had a brief compass lesson. He’d tried to help clear the table, but the girl had been antsy with excitement and Katie had insisted he go. He’d set his plate in the sink, then followed Chrissy outside as she pulled on his hand.
“See that field over there?” Reese pointed to a vacant lot surrounded by a barbed wire fence that bordered the back of the motel.
“Yes.” Chrissy looked up, her hair gleaming in the sunshine.
“Can you tell me what direction it’s in?” he asked.
Chrissy studied the compass for several moments, her forehead furrowed. Then she answered with a decisive nod of her head. “West.”
“That’s right. And what about the motel? What direction is it?”
Another pause. “East.”
“Very good. Maybe in a day or two, you can come up to Cove Mountain and I’ll take you into the forest to practice your technique. It’s harder when you’re surrounded by thick vegetation and can’t see the sun’s position.”
“You’re my daddy, huh?”
Reese jerked his head up and stared at the child. Her words struck him like a physical blow to the chest. How had she found out? He’d thought he and Katie were going to tell her together. But maybe Katie had decided to have the talk without him, kind of as a way to break the ice and see how Chrissy took the news.
“How...how would you know?” he asked, feeling a bit queasy.
Chrissy shrugged and looked down at the compass, seeming suddenly shy. “I’ve got your eyes. Plus Mommy has a picture of you in her sock drawer, from when you graduated from high school. She doesn’t know, but I sneak and look at it all the time. She doesn’t have pictures of any other boys, so I know it’s special to her.”
Katie had a picture of him in her sock drawer? That was surprising news. And he wondered how she had acquired it. He couldn’t remember giving her one. But since she had Chrissy, he could understand why she’d obtained a picture to keep for the little girl. Then another thought occurred to him. Maybe she kept the picture for herself. And the idea that she cared enough about him to hold on to his picture touched Reese’s heart like nothing else could.
It was on the tip of his tongue to deny it. Katie obviously hadn’t told Chrissy the truth yet, but since the girl had come to the correct assumption on her own, he couldn’t ignore it, nor would he lie. With his upbringing, he despised secrets and lies more than anything. But he felt suddenly clumsy and inadequate. Of all the men who should be this bright little girl’s father, why did it get to be him? He wasn’t father material. In fact, he’d never thought he’d ever settle down and have a family of his own. His father had been a miserable failure. Reese had grown up thinking that families were a means of torture and pain. Besides, maybe Chrissy wouldn’t like him. Maybe she and Katie deserved better than him.
“Yes, I’m your father. Is that all right?” he asked.
“Sure. You don’t get to pick your parents.”
So true. She said the words as though it was no big deal, but it was to him. Before he’d known the truth, it hadn’t mattered. Now it did. People were counting on him. He wasn’t alone anymore. Maybe his relationship with Katie and Chrissy was odd and dysfunctional right now, but they were his. Weren’t they?
“If you were a stranger, I couldn’t go off into the woods with you to learn how to use the compass. But since you’re my daddy, I can trust you,” she said.
No! No! he wanted to yell. No one could trust him. Except for his employer, he’d let everyone else down. His mother, teachers, Katie and numerous other girlfriends. He had no lasting relationships. Nothing binding. But hearing about this child’s confidence in him made him feel funny inside. Like he should try to be better for her. And better for Katie, too.
“Chrissy.”
They both looked up. Charlie was hobbling toward them, tugging a pair of leather gloves onto his big hands.
“Yes, Papa?” she said.
“Your mommy wants you to go inside and work on your school assignments now. It’s time for Reese and me to finish the roof on the shed,” Charlie said.
“Okay, Papa.” The girl embraced her grandpa, then hugged Reese. She collected her compass and hurried toward the house.
Leaving Reese alone with Katie’s father. Reese could feel the man’s gaze boring into him like a high-speed drill.
“Show me what you’ve accomplished.” Charlie gestured toward the shed.
Whew! That broke the ice. Katie had said that Charlie knew Reese was Chriss
y’s father, and he couldn’t help wondering how that made the man feel. If Chrissy grew up and someone got her pregnant, then abandoned her, Reese would want to hunt the guy down and throttle him. He definitely had to give Charlie credit for maintaining his temper.
Grateful for the distraction of work, Reese stood and hurried over to the ladder. He shimmied up in record time, with Charlie following at a more cumbersome speed.
Reese eyed the older man dubiously. “Are you sure you want to help? Katie said she doesn’t want you up on the roof.”
Charlie scooted his hips over, resting his weight on the beams of lumber. “I’ll go crazy if I sit around doing nothing all day long.”
Reese didn’t argue. He felt the same way, hence his desire to help.
The two men worked together for some time, making fast progress. Charlie couldn’t walk well, but he could sure wield a hammer.
“Are you thinking about taking Sean Nash up on his job offer?” he asked after a while.
Reese tensed. “You know about that?”
Charlie didn’t pause in his hammering, speaking between each strike of the nail. “He mentioned it to me.”
“I’m not really interested in fighting fires right now,” Reese said.
Charlie held two roofing nails between his lips. Reaching up, he retrieved one, put it in place and drove it into the shingle with one sharp smack. “What do you want to do, then?”
Reese stared at his hammer. “I thought I’d be a firefighter for the rest of my life. Now I don’t think I can do it anymore.”
A long silence followed. “No need to think about it right now. Give yourself time to heal. The Lord will let you know what you should do.”
Reese doubted it but didn’t say so.
“I guess Katie told you about Chrissy, huh?” Charlie asked.
Reese didn’t pretend not to understand. “Yeah, she told me.”
Charlie worked for a few moments, hammering away. “Katie had a lot of opportunities when she graduated from high school. Scholarships. Education. A great career doing something she loved. She could have become anything she wanted.”
