Agatha H and the Voice of the Castle

by Kaja Foglio

  Klaus grabbed his hand in a steely grip. “Anything,” he whispered, “even being paralyzed for life, would be an acceptable price for seeing what I have seen my son do today.” With that he released Sun’s hand and collapsed backwards, eyes fluttering closed while he muttered, “He will survive.”

  And then, the Master of the Empire slept.

  Atop the walls of Mechanicsburg, the presumptive mistress of the town was leaping and twirling in glee, while a growing crowd watched. Finally Zeetha reached out and grabbed Agatha by the sleeve, dragging her to a halt. “A little decorum?”

  Agatha couldn’t contain her excitement. “Did you see what he did? That was a logical extension of the electrified sword I built by modifying the electrical discharge system he showed me back on Castle Wulfenbach!” She took a deep breath. “It’s an elegant demonstration of some of the underlying principles of our research!” she explained happily.

  Zeetha eyed the two smoking ruins on the plain below. “Very elegant,” she agreed amiably.

  Krosp and Wooster were leaning over the battlements—peering into the chaos below. “Is Master Gilgamesh all right?” Wooster slapped the stonework in frustration. “I can’t see!”

  Krosp nodded. “Too much smoke from the burning machines. I can’t tell.”

  Agatha looked stricken. “What? Of course he’s all right!”

  Wooster shrugged, uncomfortable in the face of Agatha’s conviction. “Perhaps, but there were a great many shots—”

  There was a crackling flare from behind them, and—with a muffled explosion—one of the mysterious brass cylinders erupted in a tower of flame. The technicians, who had left their tools to watch Gil’s performance with the rest of the crowd, rushed back to the device as it deformed and then melted.

  “But we just set it up!” one of the mechanics wailed. “No one was even near it!”

  Agatha hissed in annoyance and turned around, searching. “Oh no,” she muttered. “There goes another plume…three…” Pillars of smoke marked the locations of several of Wulfenbach’s machines, with more of them erupting as they watched. Some of the mechanics responsible for them were in hysterics—others were carefully edging away, trying to blend into the crowd.

  After a minute or so, it appeared that no more were going to combust, but Agatha still looked pensive. “I figure that at least half of them went up. Oh, dear.”

  Krosp looked at her. “You know what they are?”

  Agatha shrugged. “I think it’s fairly obvious that they’re some sort of supercharged atmospheric ionization engines.” She saw the cat’s blank stare. “Well,” she said unapologetically, “It’s obvious to me.”

  Krosp still stared. “…So?”

  Agatha sighed. “So if they are, then Gil used them to electrically saturate the air around Mechanicsburg. Thus he had access to a tremendous amount of potential power. But how…” She paused and gazed upwards thoughtfully. “Ah, of course! That walking stick! It must be some sort of focus—an aiming device!” Her voice began to take on the subtle harmonics Krosp now knew to listen for. “Very elegant,” she murmured. “Oh, I have got to get a look at—” Krosp gave her hand a casual nip, effectively derailing her runaway train of thought. “Ai! Um—Well, he obviously didn’t have time to test it. His concept is sound, but I suspect he didn’t have enough engines to prevent the whole thing from overloading. There’s an unbelievable amount of power in lightning, you know.”

  Krosp nodded. “So I see.” He waved a paw towards the smoldering hulks. “But he can relax. These guys are surrendering.” Agatha bit her lip. “I sure hope so. Because without these engines supplying him power, his focus device is now useless.”

  The last of the walker crews lined up before Gil. He eyed them closely. There were close to two hundred of them. Almost evenly divided into engineers and marines, if he was any judge. A few of the ones with more braid on their shoulders looked at him with anger in their eyes. They were the ones he had to disarm.

  He pointed to one of the more disgruntled-looking officers now. “You! You’ll speak for these men. Do I have to do any more convincing?”

  The officer looked at the young man standing above him, armed with only a glowing stick. He hesitated and his eyes narrowed. He opened his mouth, and from around him his men roared, “No! Spare us! We surrender.”

  With a snarl, the officer closed his mouth and nodded jerkily. “We surrender, sir,” he said.

  Gil nodded and twirled the stick in his hand. It gave a small ‘beep’ and the glowing tip faded out. Gil stared at it a second and then casually rested it on his shoulder. “That’s good,” he said honestly.

  “You all know how the House of Wulfenbach treats captured soldiers,” he continued. “You may join our forces and retain your present rank, or return home to your families with a month’s pay, a full pardon, and an honorable discharge. Our troops will be here shortly to collect your arms. You have until then to make your decision.”30

  He gave them a minute to let the expected murmurs of relief swell and subside. “All I want is your Commanding officer!”

  That stopped them. As a rule, even if they weren’t festooned by several kilograms of gold braid, said officer was easy enough to spot. Either by all his men trying to shelter him—or by them all pointing at him. Klaus Wulfenbach had formulated set responses for both instances. This time, however, there seemed to be some genuine confusion. Several of the men tentatively raised their hands, but to Gil’s educated eye, he guessed that they were the ranking officers aboard individual machines. Finally, he swung his head back to the disgruntled fellow he had noticed before, who—seeing Gil focusing his attention upon him—squared his shoulders and stepped forward. Oh, yes, Gil thought, this man could be trouble.

  “Our commander was General Lord Rudolf Selnikov. You hit him with lightning, sir.”

  Gil nodded. That sort of thing happened. “Second in command?”

  “His Grace the Third Duke D’Fisquay. You also hit him with lightning, sir.”

  Gil had met the Duke D’Fisquay while he was in Paris. Statistically speaking, the population of Europa was now slightly more intelligent. Still, it was inconvenient… “Third?”

  “Engineer First Rank Niccolangelo Pollotta, sir. He was in the second machine.”

  This was taking too long. Gil sighed, “Fourth?”

  “That would be me, madboy!” And then the officer was leaping forward with a dagger upraised. Gil saw it approaching—pointed at his throat—

  A stout throwing knife seemed to appear in the man’s eye and he collapsed to the ground, twitching only once before lying still.

  Gil became aware of people behind him, around him—wait—people?

  “Hoy!” A green-skinned Jäger made another knife dance along the tips of his fingers as he addressed the shocked crowd of soldiers. “So who else vants to be promoted?”

  Gil frowned. “I…” His thoughts were becoming disorganized. What was happening? “I could have handled that.”

  Another Jäger—a female—insinuated her arm under his. “Ov cuzz. Now lean on me all sobtle-like befaw hyu falls down.”

  Gil realized that this was good advice.

  Atop the walls, the crowd was beginning to disperse. Agatha and her companions remained, searching for any sign of Gilgamesh. Wooster pointed at a double column of troops marching towards the city gate. Another squad, in the distinctive blue uniforms of the Wulfenbach infantry, was moving out to meet them.

  “They’re surrendering to the Empire’s troops. I guess Master Gil managed to keep them calm.” Wooster found that he was actually pleased about this. It was true that the Wulfenbachs were Britannia’s most dangerous rivals but, privately, he put that down to the irreconcilable differences between the Baron and Her Undying Majesty, Queen Albia.31 In his opinion, an Empire run by Gilgamesh would be easier for Her Majesty to deal with. Gil was more relaxed about certain things. Ardsley had been Gil’s friend for two years, and his valet for six months. Aside from the job t
itle, little had been different. He knew that things between them could never be the same as they were, but he did hope that they might, somehow, remain friends. The necessary first two steps towards this brighter future would be both Agatha and Gilgamesh remaining alive.

  Agatha scanned the smoking field. “But where is Gil?”

  Krosp sighed in resignation. “He’ll be back.”

  Agatha felt a tap upon her shoulder. Turning, she saw Carson, looking a bit more composed. It was obvious that the old man was a bit embarrassed about some of the things he had said while sharing his head with the spirit of the Castle, and he spoke with a stiff formality. “Now that we’ve all seen the show, we have to get you into the Castle as quickly as possible.” With that he spun about and strode off.

  They hurried to catch up. “Those fools in their machines were just the first. The Empire is weak at the moment and all the vultures will be on the move.”

  Agatha glanced back at the pillars of smoke coming from the shattered machines. “You think that’ll be seen as weak?”

  Carson grimaced. “No, that’ll be seen as impressive. It’ll make a lot of them think twice. But the Baron was defeated at Balan’s Gap. A crack has appeared in the Empire’s heretofore-impenetrable façade. A lot of powerful Sparks will see this as the best chance they’ve had in a decade!”

  Krosp nodded, “A rebellion against the Empire, eh? Depending on who wins—”

  Carson slammed his hand down on the stonework. “To hell with who wins! They’ll come here to fight! Mechanicsburg will be caught in the middle. Our only chance to even have a town left at the end of this is to be a player instead of just the terrain. For that, we need the Castle up and running and a Heterodyne in charge of it.” He looked Agatha in the eye. “Not just some fake who’s playing her own game with the Empire. A genuine Heterodyne who cares about this town. If you are a Heterodyne, the best thing you can do is get the Castle repaired and running again—and as soon as possible.”

  Agatha absorbed this and nodded once. “All right.” She turned to Herr Diamant. “Let’s go.”

  Zeetha looked surprised. She pointed towards the battlefield. “What about your boyfriend?”

  Agatha looked at her. She’s testing me, she thought. “He’s not my boyfriend.” She held up a hand to forestall any argument. “Yes, I worked with him for a little while, and yes, we got along all right, and yes, I’ll admit there’s an attraction, all right?” The memory of a kiss warmed her face. “But that was before he knew I was a Heterodyne. Before I knew I was a Heterodyne. That changes everything.

  “That…that Jäger back in the coffee shop? He may have been a Jäger, but he was wearing a Wulfenbach uniform and he tried to kill me. Was he sent by the Baron? Was he sent by Gil? Or by someone further down the chain of command? I just don’t know.

  “When it comes down to it, I don’t really know him. I don’t know if anyone does.”

  Agatha looked out at the devastated walkers and sighed. “But I do know that he can be dangerous. So I think it would be smarter to deal with the Empire—and him—from a position of strength.” She looked back at Carson. “And being a Heterodyne and holding the Castle, well, that’s the strongest position I can think of right now.”

  She sighed and waved a hand at the town below the wall. “If I am a Heterodyne, then this is my family’s home. I have to fight for it, or at least do my best to keep it safe, because it’s the only place where a Heterodyne can expect to be safe.”

  Zeetha punched Agatha lightly on the arm. “By Gwangi, I’ll make a warrior princess out of you yet!”

  Agatha slumped slightly. “Any time.” Then she looked at Zeetha again. “Actually—” She looked slightly embarrassed and lowered her voice. “I mean, even if he does turn out to be a vicious madman out to pickle me, I… well, I’m still kind of worried about him. While I’m in the Castle, could you find him and make sure he’s okay?”

  Zeetha looked surprised. “Me?”

  Agatha dipped her head. “The Kolee asks this of her Zumil.”32

  Zeetha snorted. “Well, I was going to sit around in a café worrying about you, but—sure. I can take care of him.”

  Maxim and Oggie proved remarkably effective at herding the captured soldiers off the field and towards the gates—where the Wulfenbach troops waited to deal with them.

  Dimo and Jenka kept Gil on his feet between them, without it appearing that they were propping him up. Gil acknowledged the Wulfenbach Captain’s salute and waved him off to do his job.

  “Hokay,” Dimo said, a grin plastered across his face. “Now traditionally, hyu should stride triumphantly out uv de smoke and thru de city gates. But ve dun vant hyu spoilin’ tings by passink out, hey?”

  Gil looked at him with a frown that would have been more effective if the Jäger’s face wasn’t slowly receding. “I’m… I’m fine,” he insisted.

  “Hyu iz not, keedo,” Jenka said quietly, “Hyu iz hit. Ve ken schmell der blood. But Hy dun tink hyu iz hit too bad.”

  Maxim strolled back. “Hyu poppa’s troops vill finish op tings here. Hyu’d better come vit us.”

  Gil took a wobbly step. The Jägers looked at each other and gently raised him slightly off the ground and carried him towards the base of the city wall. “Wearing armor,” he said with exaggerated clearness. “Not…totally insane.”

  Dimo kept his opinion to himself. “Hy dun see nottink on hyu head.”

  “She…they…needed to see that it was me.”

  Dimo considered this. “Vat hyu need is a big hat vit hyu name on it.”

  This statement caused Gil to focus on his rescuers fully. “Really? Wait… you…you’re not Wulfenbach Jägers.”

  “Nope. Ve iz der goot lookink vuns.”

  Gil didn’t even try to examine this. “Are you kidnapping me?”

  Jenka laughed. “Nah! Ve iz on hyu side.”

  “That’s good,” Gil conceded. “Why?”

  Dimo rolled his eyes. Alarmingly, he did it in different directions. “Hmf. An Hy vas tolt hyu vas schmot.” He waved his free hand at Mechanicsburg. “Hyu iz defendink our town. Hyu fallink down in front of efferybody ain’t goot for der town, or for Mizz Agatha.”

  That got through to Gil and he made an effort to straighten up. “Agatha? Is she here? Can’t fall down in front of Agatha, no.” It was only Jenka’s grip that kept him from, in fact, falling.

  “He’s losin’ it, Dimo.”

  The green Jäger scratched his nose. “Hokay, Hy tink hyu vant de ‘mysterious disappearance after de battle’ ending. A beeg hit vit de ladies, as lonk as hyu know ven to quit, if hyu know vat Hy meanz.”

  Gil had no idea what he meant. “Do you do this sort of thing a lot?”

  “Ho! Yaz!” Ognian cried jovially. “Lotz of pipple have tried to take dis town! And somevun’s gotta make shure de boss gets home aftervards.”

  Dimo saw Gil’s head start to sag, and tried to keep him engaged. “Zo—iz verra nize of hyu to save miz Agatha’s town for her.”

  “She’s a very nice girl.”

  “Dot’s right. Verra nize.”

  Gil stumbled again. When he regained his feet, his face was covered in sweat. “I feel…strange,” he whispered. “I didn’t think I’d been hit that badly.”

  Jenka reassured him. “Oh, hyu izn’t hit too bad. But—” She looked at him shrewdly. “Iz dis the first time hyu faced down an entire army all by hyuself vit a weapon hyu vasn’t sure vas gunna vork?”

  “Well…yes.”

  Jenka gave a laugh. “Vell den! Dot’s just hyu body bein’ all sooprized hyu ain’t all blowed op and dead!” She gave him a squeeze. “Next time, hyu von’t eefen blink!”

  “Next time…” Gil almost swooned at the concept. “I really think I have to lie down now,” he whispered.

  Dimo nodded. “Hyup! Vun ‘mysterious dizappearance’ comin’ op!”

  Ognian leaned in. “Hokay. Hy sez ve skulks in through de Sneaky Gate and takes him to Mamma Gkika’s.”

 
; Maxim considered this. “I dunno if she gun like dot, brudder.”

  Gil waved a hand, almost sending both him and Jenka off balance. “Where? No, get me to the hospital.”

  Jenka yanked him back to true. “No vay, sveethot. Looks like ve iz kidnappink hyu a leedle after all. Ve dun vant no vun to see hyu until hyu iz stompin’ around all scary-like again.”

  “No! My father must be guarded, and Agatha will be in danger! I can’t stop now!”

  Dimo snorted. “Hyu kent protect hyuself right now.”

  Ognian leaned in and gave Gil a light slap to the face. Gil’s eyes focused on the Jäger. “Hyu vant to help Mizz Agatha? Den ve takes hyu to Mamma Gkika. She fix hyu op fast and goot.”

  Maxim leaned in as well. “Goot enuf, anyvay.” So saying he bounded on ahead to the city wall that now loomed above them, and started rapping on blocks. Ognian hurried over and pointed at the sun overhead. The two got into an argument. Jenka gently deposited Gil against the wall, where he watched Ognian and Maxim with obvious confusion.

  Dimo sidled up to Jenka and spoke in a low voice. “He likes Mizz Agatha. Hy ken tell. But Hy dun know if ve should trust him vit dis.” He indicated the wall.

  Above her scarf, Jenka’s eyes looked resigned. “Ve gots a Heterodyne back. Voteffer happens, tings iz gunna change. I say ve takes de chance.”

  Meanwhile, Ognian had apparently won the argument. He strode over to a different set of blocks, gave one a rap, another a kick, and the section of wall behind Gil slid to the side, causing him to fall over backwards.

  Ognian helped him up. “Sorry, keedo. De Sneaky Gate iz like dot.”

  Gil stared at the opening wide-eyed. “I know what a hidden door looks like. That was not there a minute ago.”

  Maxim shrugged. “Dun vorry about it. It von’t be dere next time either.” He stepped into the passage. “From here iz easy peasy!”

  The wagon, perched upon one fat wheel, bumped and clunked down the Mechanicsburg street, its engine popping and chuttering. People saw it coming, recognized the chain-draped exterior, and stepped out of the street, dragging along the occasional clueless tourist. You didn’t want to interfere with the Prisoner Van.