Fall From Love

by Heather London

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Josh raises his hands in an innocent gesture, shaking his head. “I never agreed to wear a costume.”

  “Um, it’s a costume party,” Jenna says, looking in his direction. “You can’t just show up looking like… you.”

  “Hey, what’s wrong with me?” Josh asks, offended.

  “Nothing.” Jenna smiles sweetly. “But you can’t go to a Halloween party and not wear a costume, it’s just not allowed.”

  “Says who?” Josh asks.

  “Says me,” Jenna challenges, but then her face softens. “Plus, I think it would be incredibly sexy to see you in a costume.”

  Josh sighs loudly in defeat and Jenna scoots out of the booth. “You and me. Costume shopping. Tomorrow,” Jenna instructs, pointing at me.

  I nod and scoot out of the booth.

  “What just happened?” Carter asks, coming up beside me as we walk towards the exit.

  I shrug. “What can I say? The girl’s good.”

  ❧

  “Okay, so what do you think? There’s Bonnie and Clyde, which I think can be really hot, or there’s Frankenstein and his wife. Which one do you think Josh will like better?”

  I stifle a laugh and shake my head. “I can’t believe you’re actually making him dress up, Jenna.”

  She sighs and shakes her head, looking annoyed. “What is it with you people? It’s Halloween and it’s a party. This is our senior year and we’re supposed to be having fun while we still can; you know, before we graduate and the real world catches up to us and we all go our separate ways.” Her voice cracks on the last few words. Looking over, I actually see sadness in her eyes.

  “Hey, what’s going on with you?” I ask her.

  She shakes her head and continues to sort through the costumes on the rack in front of her. “Nothing, let’s just drop it.”

  “No.” I grab her shoulder and turn her towards me. “Tell me what’s wrong. You’ve been acting mopey the last few days.”

  She exhales loudly and drapes the costumes she’s holding over her arm and plays with a tag. “I don’t know. It’s just, this is our senior year and I should be excited. I should be looking forward to graduation, right? I should be looking forward to no more early classes, no more tests, no more studying, right?” She looks up at me, like I have the correct answer. “But I’m not looking forward to giving all of that up. I’m dreading it. I like my life. I like school. I like living with you and having our apartment. I like having fun and being young and stupid. I don’t want this year to end. I don’t want to grow up.” She looks at me with a confused expression and I swear I can see tears building in her eyes. “Is that weird?”

  “No.” I smile at her. “It’s not weird at all.” I glance down at the costumes she’s holding. I had no idea that all of these thoughts were running through her head and, now that she says them all out loud, I can’t help feeling a heaviness in my heart as well. “Go with the Bonnie and Clyde… I like that one the best.”

  She smiles. “Really? Do you think Josh will like it?” she holds them out in front of her to get a better view.

  “Uh… I’m not sure about that one, but just bat your eyelashes a few times and he’ll be fine.” I laugh. “But I’m sure Carter will tease him relentlessly tonight.”

  “Not if you ask Carter to wear a costume, too,” she counters.

  Unease fills me. I take a few steps down the aisle and move to the rack at the end. “Why do you and Josh assume that I have this control over him? We’re just friends, Jenna.”

  She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. “Whatever you say.”

  CARTER

  “You look ridiculous, man.” I laugh at Josh as we get in the car.

  “I swear to God, dude. Shut up. This is painful enough without you giving me shit, okay?”

  Jenna came over to our place earlier to drop off Josh’s costume and now we’re driving over to their apartment to pick them up for the party. I don’t even ask him what he’s supposed to be, but he looks like a dumbass in that tapered suit and hat. He’s trying to hide it, but I can see a small, plastic gun sticking out of his coat pocket. I can give him shit for this all night long and have a blast doing it, but I know he’s miserable, so I decide to keep my mouth shut—for now.

  “You’re lucky your girlfriend didn’t ask you to wear a costume. You just don’t understand how persuasive Jenna can be,” Josh says, pulling his seatbelt over him. “How did I get stuck with the bossy chick?”

  My heart tightens at the word girlfriend. Holly and I have become close over the last few weeks—really close—but it’s strictly just as friends. We still talk every night on the phone; however, Josh doesn’t know that or, at least, I try really hard to hide it, mainly because I know he’ll read too much into it.

  “We’re just friends,” I tell him, swallowing back the disappointment that my voice holds.

  “Yeah, you know, the relationship you two have is really weird. It’s like friends with no benefits. Why don’t you just kiss her and get it over with already? The two of you are great together.”

  He doesn’t have to tell me that. “It’s complicated. I like having her as a friend and I don’t think it would feel right if it were anything more than that.” Right now, I’m okay with us just being friends. For the first time in months, my life is actually going great and it’s because she’s in it.

  Josh nods slowly. He knows me well enough to know why I’m holding back and not taking it any farther with her. “I can understand where you’re coming from, but you can’t keep up the friendship for too much longer, the sexual tension that surrounds you two is going to combust at some point. If I had to bet on it, I’d say sooner rather than later.”

  Again, he isn’t telling me anything that I don’t already know. Even though Holly has become a close friend, someone I trust and care a lot about, she is also smoking hot. It doesn’t help that when her and Jenna stay the night, she’ll take my bed and I picture what she is wearing, or isn’t wearing, lying against my sheets. So even though there’s a large part of me that wants to be more than friends, I’m scared to lose her and the friendship we have.

  Where it gets really complicated is the fact that I still haven’t told her the truth from the night of the accident. Jenna keeps telling me that it doesn’t matter—that the past is the past—and I shouldn’t bring it up because it will just end up hurting her, but I’m not sure. If the time comes, I can’t ever take the next step with her if she doesn’t know the truth.

  Josh and I stand at their door and knock as my nerves begin to devour me. I’m not sure why, but picking Holly up and taking her to a party kind of feels like a date, or maybe I just wish it is. Even though, deep down, I know it’s not.

  “Come in,” Jenna shouts from the inside. When we walk in, Jenna is helping Holly with her costume and they both turn to us and smile.

  “Damn, dude, we’re two lucky sons of bitches,” Josh says under his breath as he eyes Jenna up and down. “I’d wear this stupid costume every day if she asked me to.”

  I only half hear him because I can’t concentrate on anything except for Holly and how hot she looks standing there in her costume. I’m not sure what she’s supposed to be, but holy shit if it’s not the hottest costume I’ve ever seen. Josh walks over to Jenna and leaves me standing there, staring like a dumbass. Finally, Holly turns around and makes her way over to me. As hard as I try, I can’t take my eyes off of her.

  The closer she gets to me, the more nervous I get. “Hey,” I breathe.

  “There weren’t a lot of costumes left, so I didn’t have a lot of choices. What do you think? Too much?” She looks down and examines herself.

  “No,” I choke out and then clear my throat. “You look great.” There are a few other words that come to mind—sexy, beautiful and hot—but they just don’t seem appropriate to say to a friend.

  She gives me a smirk, like I’m just saying that to be nice, but she has no idea how truthful I’m being, or what thoughts
are running through my head right now, or how thankful I am that I agreed to go to this stupid party. I can’t imagine letting her out of this house looking the way she is without someone watching over her. Tonight she needs a bodyguard with how hot she looks in that outfit.

  “Can you guess what I’m supposed to be?” she asks, raising an eyebrow, clearly challenging me.

  Swallowing hard, I slowly look her up and down. She’s wearing a lavender top that’s cut off above her belly button, showing off her flat stomach. Her long skirt is a darker shade of purple and there’s a gold chain of some sort connecting her top and bottom. The gold eye shadow she has on makes her green eyes stand out even more than usual and her hair is up in a high pony tail on the top of her head. The entire outfit shows off every curve her body has, making it hard for me to concentrate on making an actual guess.

  “Um... a genie?” I say, finally.

  She busts out laughing and the sound of it courses through me. Hearing her so happy causes my chest to ache.

  “No, I’m not a genie, but I’ll give you a few more guesses.” She laughs. I try to snap myself out of the daze I’m in and stop staring at her so I don’t come off looking like a complete pervert.

  “I’ll have to think about it a little, I guess,” I say, knowing it will give me an excuse to stare at her all night.

  “I like your costume by the way... very original,” she says, looking me up and down. I’m thankful that she didn’t ask me to wear a costume because, as much as it would’ve sucked, I would’ve done it if she had asked me to.

  “Come on, let’s go have some fun,” Jenna says, approaching us. She gives me a quick look up and down. “Nice costume, Carter. Way to be a party pooper.”

  Josh and Jenna climb into the back of my car and Holly gets into the passenger seat. Earlier in the day I offered to be the designated driver for the night, mainly because I haven’t really been in the mood to drink since the afternoon Holly showed up and found me drunk. Right now, though, I’m more worried about keeping my eyes on the road and not on the girl that’s sitting in the passenger seat next to me.

  When we pull up, there’s music blaring from the house, telling me the party is in full swing. The house is fully decorated for the event, fake spiders hang from the front porch and creepy music is playing as we walk up. I can’t help noticing how every guy’s head turns and looks as Holly passes them. My instincts are to wrap my arm around her shoulder, to show them that she’s mine, but I can’t... because she’s not.

  The front door is open, the house is mostly lit up with black lights, and a few strobe lights are twirling around the dance floor in the middle of the main room. There are fake spider webs stretched across the ceiling and the same fake spiders that are hanging from the front porch are clinging to the webs. Wow, someone spent way too much time on this.

  “Let’s go get a drink, then we can dance,” Jenna says, looping her arm through Holly’s. “Josh won’t dance until he’s got a few drinks in him.” Then she looks over at me and my stomach turns. I don’t do dancing. “What about you, Carter? Will you come dance with us?”

  I shake my head. “No, I’m just gonna hang out here for a while.”

  She shrugs, and then her and Holly head towards the bar in the back. My eyes follow them and, when they’re about halfway across the room, Holly looks back and gives me a small smile. My whole body reacts and I know that I’m in trouble. These feelings she stirs up inside me, they aren’t what friends should feel for friends.

  “Seriously, man. The sexual tension between you two is so thick, I feel like I’m suffocating,” Josh says, glancing over at me.

  Leaning over, I shove him with my shoulder. “Shut up, dude.”

  It’s only a couple hours into the party and Josh is already shitfaced drunk and dancing. He’s sandwiched between Jenna and Holly and I can’t help laughing at him... all of them. The strobe lights are flying across the room and they all of have their arms up in the air, singing at the top of their lungs.

  Earlier in the night, I walked around and said hi to a few guys I knew from class, but now, I’m keeping an eye on the dance floor. Even though I kind of feel like a douche just standing in the corner, watching other people dance, I don’t care. Holly may not be mine, but there’s no way in hell I’ll let anyone touch her or hit on her when she’s been drinking.

  “Hey, Carter,” a girl’s voice pulls my eyes away from the dance floor.

  “Oh, hey,” I say, looking to my left. I’ve seen the girl a few times in class, but I don’t know her by name.

  She takes another step closer to me, coming only inches from my face, and I can easily smell the liquor on her breath. “Will you dance with me?” She glances up to me through her eyelashes.

  I casually take a step away from her, hoping not to be too obvious, but her breath reeks from the liquor. “Uh, I don’t really dance.” I give her a courteous smile.

  “Then why would you come to a party? Do you have a thing for standing in the corner and watching other people dance?”

  Damn, the girl is obviously drunk, but she still makes a valid point. “I’m here for my friends,” I say, nodding towards them. My eyes make contact with Holly’s and I find her looking over at us. “I’m the designated driver tonight,” I continue my explanation and look back towards the girl whose name I still don’t know.

  “You sure you won’t dance with me?” she asks again, looking at me with a sweet expression. She’s actually really cute in her little angel costume, but it’s still not enough for me to go dance with her.

  I shake my head. “No, thanks for the invite, though.”

  When she walks off, I hear the music change from a fast and upbeat song to more of a slow one. My eyes scan out into the crowd and I find Jenna and Josh slow dancing in the middle of the dance floor, but I can’t spot Holly.

  Just then, I feel someone grab my arm and see Holly standing next to me. Her eyes are glossy and the sweat from dancing has caused small wisps of hair to stick to the sides of her neck. She doesn’t look completely drunk, but she’s definitely buzzed.

  “You having fun?” I shout over the music, breathing in her scent that’s mixed with sweat and the perfume she’s wearing.

  She nods. “Yeah, lots of fun. Are you?”

  I shrug. “Sure, I guess. This really isn’t my scene, but it’s cool. I’m glad you’re having a good time.”

  She leans in, pressing her body against me and says, “I came over to check on you and see if you had any more guesses on my costume.”

  I swallow hard as my eyes trail over her body. When I see that parts of her costume are stuck to her body with sweat, my body feels like it’s being lit on fire. “How about an Egyptian princess?”

  She purses her lips, trying not to laugh. “Not even close.”

  I know it’s a stupid guess. Actually, I’m pretty sure she’s supposed to be a belly dancer, but I don’t want to say the right answer and give up my excuse for staring at her all night.

  She looks out towards the dance floor and then back to me. “Will you come dance with me?”

  I can’t take my eyes off her and I know there’s no way I’m getting out of this one; there’s no way I’m telling her no. “Sure.”

  She grabs my hand and leads me out onto the makeshift dance floor. The strobe lights have slowed down and now match the beat to the slow song that’s playing. I wrap my arms around her waist and she reaches up to lock her hands around my neck. I haven’t danced like this since probably middle school and I can’t help feeling like an idiot. As dumb as I feel, the crazy truth is, I’d do this all night long if it means I get to be close to her like this.

  When the song is nearing the end, she leans her head against my chest and drops her hands to grip my shoulders. My eyes close and I wrap my arms tighter around her waist, pulling her closer to me. There’s a good chance she can feel or hear my heart pounding fast and loud in my chest, but I don’t care. I never thought I’d say this—ever—but I wish this song
would last forever. For right now, my wish is granted. The slow song we’re dancing to ends and another slow one begins.

  ❧

  “Oh, man, I don’t feel so well,” Jenna mumbles as we pull back up to their apartment.

  “C’mon, babe, you just need to sleep it off,” Josh says as he staggers out of the car. He turns around and helps Jenna out of the car since she had issues getting in the car back at the party. When he has a firm grip on her, they start to head up the stairs. Holly’s standing at the front of my car and I feel like an overprotective father trying to keep an eye on all of his kids at once.

  When it looks like Jenna and Josh are doing okay, I turn my focus to Holly. “Hey, you feeling okay?”

  She looks up at me with glossy eyes. “Yeah, I’m good. I just need my bed.”

  “Come on, let’s go.” I grab her around the waist and she wraps both arms around my stomach, resting her head on my chest; clearly using me as a crutch to stand up straight.

  I’m not sure how many drinks she had exactly, but she is definitely going to wake up in the morning regretting every last one of them. When we make our way up the stairs and into her apartment, Josh and Jenna are nowhere to be found. I look down the hall to see that the door to Jenna’s room is closed. Great. Holly’s looking more tired with each passing second and, for a moment, I’m scared she’s going to pass out standing up.

  When I finally have her in bed, I carefully take off her shoes. Even though I’m sure she probably wants to take off her sweaty costume, too, I don’t dare take it off for her.

  “I’ll be right back. I’m going to get you a glass of water. You want to get changed out of your costume?”

  She moans and shakes her head. “No, I’m too tired to move.”

  A few minutes later, I come back and she’s still lying in the exact spot that I left her. Shaking her gently, I hand her the glass of water, knowing she needs some hydration. She drinks the entire glass and wipes her mouth using the back of her hand before collapsing back down on the bed. I cover her up, turn off the light, and head for the couch.