Fall From Love

by Heather London

  I nudge her and she falls over, almost completely tumbling off the stool she’s sitting on.

  “I suspected you were over there anyway, I was just curious to see if you’d tell me the truth,” she says, popping another chip in her mouth.

  “Why would I lie?”

  She shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m glad you didn’t, though, things could’ve gotten ugly if you did.”

  ❧

  Later in the day—after taking a shower and brushing my teeth—I curl up on my bed and take out my notebook. It’s been a while since I’ve written anything in it, mainly because nothing other than depressing thoughts are going through my head. The past couple of months, though, I’ve changed, my outlook on a lot of things has changed.

  As I stare down at the empty page, so many feelings, words, and thoughts run through my head. When I used to write, I used to think a lot about love, a lot about life, and a lot about Adam. Now, I mainly focus on the emotions that have been consuming me over the past few months; what I’ve gone through. I can’t deny that Carter’s face pops into my head a lot, too. The past few months he’s been stirring up feelings inside me I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel again.

  After feeling satisfied with the few lines I have written, I close my notebook and put it back in the top drawer of my nightstand. Just as I reach over to click off my lamp, my phone chimes and I reach over to grab it, already knowing who it is before I see the screen.

  Carter: Did you make it to ur test?

  Me: Just in time. Sorry I ran out on you like that.

  Carter: Glad you made it. Next time we’ll set an alarm.

  Me: Your couch is horrible to sleep on.

  Carter: You were sleeping mostly on me.

  My whole body warms as I remember waking up on his chest this morning and how good it felt.

  Me: Sorry about that.

  Carter: Don’t be sorry.

  Me: Goodnight.

  Carter: Goodnight, Holly.

  Before shutting off my light, I scroll back through our messages, smiling and feeling an ache in my chest that I’m not sure how to define. Carter is a friend—a good friend—but I can’t help wondering if maybe I want him to be more.

  ❧

  The rest of the week is fairly uneventful. It’s Friday afternoon and I find myself getting excited for the weekend since we have the entire next week off for Thanksgiving.

  As I jog across the courtyard, the snowfall begins to pick up and, by the time I reach my car, it’s really coming down. When I get on the main road to head back to our apartment, I’m leaning forward and both of my hands are wrapped tightly around the steering wheel. The snow is so thick I’m having trouble seeing if the stop light ahead of me is red or green. I’m just about to comment on how things can’t get any worse when I hear a loud thud come from the front of my car. A small vibration shoots through the steering wheel, causing my hands to shake.

  “You’ve got to be freaking kidding me? This is so not happening right now,” I say, gripping the wheel even tighter. Slowly applying pressure to the brake, I veer off to the side of the road. Once I have the car in park, I hop out to inspect the loud noise that was coming from my car. The snow is coming down hard, but I squint and see as plain as day that my right front tire is completely flat.

  “Crap,” I breathe. Once I’m back in my car, I crank the heater and lean my head back against the seat, trying to think of what to do. I fumble through my purse, digging for my phone. There’s a good chance I have roadside assistance, I think I remember my dad telling me that one day. Curse words are flying out of my mouth and frustration takes over when I turn my purse upside down and dump it in the passenger seat next to me. Disgusting is the next word that pops into my head as I realize that my purse should be declared toxic. I sift through the trash, finally finding my phone and insurance card. Turning it over, I find the number for roadside assistance. After two rings, a stupid automated machine picks up. Following the prompts I finally get to the point of annoying music playing in my ear, hoping that an actual human will come on the line soon.

  Ten minutes pass and I’m tempted to hang up and just hitchhike. “This is ridiculous,” I say, shaking my head.

  My eyes scan over the trash in the seat next to me and a wadded up piece of something catches my eye. When I remember what it is and who gave it to me, it sends a sharp pain to my heart. Balancing the phone between my ear and shoulder, I take the wad and spread it across my knee.

  Call if you need anything is written across the napkin. Carter’s name and number are written below it.

  “Hi, this is Peggy, how can I help you?” a human voice comes on the line and relief washes through me.

  “Oh, yeah, hi. I have a flat tire and I’d like some help with it.”

  “Sure, we can help you with that. Let me just pull up your account.”

  I give her all of my information, my location, and she tells me that someone will be here to assist me within the next three hours. Three hours? Three freaking hours? Three freaking hours of sitting here, stuck on the side of the road in the middle of a freaking snow storm? Great. Perfect.

  I bang the back of my head against my headrest and then glance back down at the napkin that is spread out across my knee. As I stare at the words, I can’t help realizing how much I’ve changed since that night he gave this to me. It’s only been a few months, but I am no longer that sad and lonely girl. Sure, there are still dark days here and there, but for the most part, my days are filled with happiness... and I owe a lot of that to Carter. He has become someone that I trust and consider a close friend.

  Glancing out my window, I see the dark grey sky and snow falling outside my window. I glance back down at the napkin and try to remember if he has class on Friday afternoon. I’m pretty sure he does, but for the life of me, I can’t recall what time he gets out.

  Against my better judgment, I call him anyway. It rings five times and then goes to voicemail. Even though I don’t plan on leaving him a message, I listen to his voicemail anyway, just to hear his voice. You’ve got it pretty bad, Holly, I tell myself. A few seconds later my phone chimes.

  Carter: In class. Saw u called. What’s up?

  Me: Wanted 2 talk. Flat tire. Waiting on roadside assistance.

  Carter: Where r u?

  Me: On the corner of 18th and Columbia.

  Carter: Be there in a few.

  Me: No! I’m fine. I didn’t mean to bother you.

  I stare at my phone, waiting for his response, but it never comes. A part of me hopes that when he got my text he decided to stay in class. There’s another part—the selfish and lonely part—that would love some company right now.

  Eight minutes down... two hours and fifty two minutes left, I say to myself, looking at the clock on my dash. Of course that is the worst case scenario. There’s a chance the road side assistance could arrive sooner than that, but I guess with the storm, there is also the possibility that it could be even longer. Sighing loudly, I turn up the music and let the words drown out my thoughts.

  Through the snow falling out my back window, I see Carter’s FJ pull up behind me not even ten minutes after I got his last text. My stomach flutters and my body buzzes just knowing that I’m going to see him soon. I open my door and step out when he comes jogging up.

  “Hey, you really didn’t have to come. I have help on the way.” The snow is really coming down now. I can hardly see the trees across the street from me.

  “Don’t feel bad. Now, let’s get this tire changed.” He starts to walk to my trunk and I lean back in my car to pop it open. A few seconds later he’s coming back towards me and he’s holding the tire iron and a jack.

  “Really, you don’t have to do this. I feel horrible that you left class.”

  “I told you, don’t feel bad. Class was boring anyway and I was practically falling asleep.” He smiles.

  “What can I do to help?” I ask.

  “There’s not a lot you can do. Why don’t you go sit in my car an
d get out of the cold?”

  “I’m not just going to leave you out here while you change my tire,” I scoff.

  “It’s just a little snow, Holly. I’ll be fine. Please, you’re just gonna distract me.” He smiles adorably at me. I’m not sure why, but seeing him standing there with a tire iron in his hands is totally hot. “Don’t you have a tow truck or some roadside assistance to cancel anyways?”

  Shit. “Yeah, let me go call them and I’ll come right back.”

  “Really, I’ll be finished in just a few minutes. Just stay in my car.” This time it’s not a request, it’s an order. I look back to his car and then back to him. I’m starting to shiver from the cold seeping into my bones. I haven’t dressed for snowstorm conditions, but I feel guilty for even complaining; Carter only has a long-sleeve, thermal t-shirt on.

  “Okay, just give me a signal if you need my help or something.”

  He’s already put the jack under the car and is starting to take the tire off. “I will.” He glances up at me for a second and shakes his head, laughing. “Go, before you turn into an icicle.”

  Running back to his car, I jump inside, instantly feeling the warmth envelop me. I call and cancel the roadside assistance and then feel horrible as I sit there, watching him. It just doesn’t seem fair—me sitting in his warm car and him out there, in practically a white out, changing my tire. Though, even through the blanket of snow, I still have a pretty good view and I can’t help watching him, as well as enjoying the fact that I get to stare at him for a few minutes. I find myself staring at his arms and the way they flex with each turn of the tire iron. My eyes trail along the length of his body as he stands and runs back to the trunk to get the spare tire. Swallowing hard and licking my lips, I try to turn away, knowing I shouldn’t be looking at him like this, fantasizing like this. Friends don’t wonder what their friends would feel like with their clothes off, what they would taste like, or how their hands would feel rubbing over my— Holy shit, Holly. Snap out of it!

  Another minute or two passes and it looks like he’s almost done. The snow hasn’t eased up, if anything, I think it’s getting worse. He stands up again and rubs his hands down his jeans and black smears are left behind from where his hands just were.

  “Great, now I’m going to owe him a pair of jeans,” I say out loud to myself. When he turns back around, I get a great view of his ass and I find myself staring at it, wondering what it looks like underneath those jeans. Oh, God, seriously, Holly, you need to stop this.

  Just then, I hear a phone ringing. Looking down, I see Carter’s cell phone lying flat on the console, and the name Kelly flashes across his screen. My chest squeezes and, as hard as I try to fight it, a bit of jealousy hits me. I’m not even sure why, it could just be a friend. I am just a friend; there is no reason to be jealous. Friends also don’t stare and fantasize about what their friend’s ass looks like underneath a pair of jeans, either. Crap, I’m in trouble. For a long moment, I can’t take my eyes off the phone or the name on the screen.

  Finally, when it stops ringing and the name disappears, I look back up and see Carter run back and grab the flat tire he’s taken off my car. He throws it in my trunk and slams it shut when his phone starts ringing again. I glance down and see the same name, Kelly, flash across the screen. Maybe it’s just a friend, or someone from class, I think to myself. Still, a sharp pain stings me, knowing that it could also be his girlfriend... or someone he wants to be his girlfriend. With that thought, the small bit of jealousy I felt just moments ago has multiplied and is now consuming me. In all the nights we talked, he never told me about a girl he’s interested in. Friends talk about that kind of stuff, right?

  Carter finishes up and jogs over to me just as his phone stops ringing. I roll down the window and I know he’s trying to hide it, but he’s shivering cold.

  “I’m going to drive your car to the auto shop on Noel & Main. Do you know where it is?”

  “Um, yeah, I think so. Why don’t I just drive it? You’ve done more than enough.”

  He shakes his head and a shiver escapes him. “No, it’s not very safe to drive with just the donut on it, especially with this weather. I’ll drive it; you just follow me in my car, okay?”

  I swallow hard, feeling even more guilt wash through me. “Carter, I—”

  He starts to back away from me and smiles. “Just follow me.”

  Before I can protest anymore, he’s already jogging back over to my car.

  Oh, God, then it hits me. I look down to see a stick shift staring right at me and I have a bit of a panic attack. There are two things my dad insisted that I learn after I got my driver’s license; one, how to change a tire—it’s clear that didn’t go so well—and number two, how to drive a stick shift. I totally sucked at it and almost stripped the clutch on his truck, but after an entire summer of practice I had kind of, sort of, gotten the hang of it.

  Carter pulls out and makes a u-turn in front of me. I curse under my breath and apply pressure to the clutch, shifting into first gear. The car bucks and it pushes my heart into my throat. “Please, please, just be nice to me. My day has been really, really shitty and I just need to get to the auto shop. Please.” Yes, I’m talking out loud to the car.

  I take in a deep breath and try it again, easing off the clutch a little easier this time. The car jerks again, but after the abrupt bucking, the car begins to glide over the pavement. “Thank you.” I breathe and turn the steering wheel, pulling up behind Carter.

  CARTER

  It’s hard not to laugh as I glance in the rearview mirror and see my car bucking out of control. It probably would’ve been a good idea to make sure Holly could drive a stick before I just took off in her car, but it looks like she’s finally getting it. Taking turns with each hand, I hold them up to the vent that’s blasting out warm air. My fingers are frozen, they feel like they’re about to break off.

  When I pull into the auto shop, I drive Holly’s car up to the closed garage doors. Holly pulls in a couple seconds later and parks in a parking spot near the door.

  “Hey, Carter, what’s up man?” Patrick calls out to me when I enter the small shop.

  “Hey, how’s it going?” I’ve known Patrick since kindergarten. He grew up down the street from me and Josh.

  “Oh, you know… work, life and work.” He laughs and then his eyes shift to the front door. I look back and see Holly making her way over to us.

  “What can I do you for you, man?” he asks, but he doesn’t take his eyes off her.

  To stop looking at her like that. “I’ve got a flat tire. There’s a donut on it right now, but I need a new tire put on.”

  “On the FJ?” he asks me, but he still doesn’t meet my gaze. Blood is pounding in my ears and I want to knock him upside the head for the way he’s looking at her, but I don’t. He’s never been too popular with the ladies and, by the way he is gawking at her, I can see why.

  Holly’s beside me now and, as much as I want to grab her hand and hold it, I don’t. Patrick’s eyes are still devouring her, however, I don’t want to come off as a crazy, psycho boyfriend or anything because we’re not like that, we’re just friends. There’s still the need inside me to protect her and, with each second that passes, my control is diminishing more and more. It’s not until she says something that I start to cool off.

  “Hi.” She smiles up at Patrick.

  Great, a girl smiling at him is like an open invitation. He’s going to think she’s in love with him now. “I’m Patrick.” He winks at her and I start to regret my decision in coming here. What the hell was I thinking?

  “The flat tire is on her car, actually,” I say a little louder than I should, hoping to bring his attention back to me.

  “What kind of tire do you need?” he asks her, still smiling.

  She looks unsure and glances over to me.

  “She has a Honda Civic.” My voice is flat.

  “Humph, let me see what I’ve got in stock right now.” He backs up, goes b
ehind the counter, and finally his eyes are drawn to the computer. Then it dawns on me that I’ve been looking at her the same way, especially that night after the Halloween party and when she fell asleep on my chest watching a movie. Feeling like an ass, I realize that I’m not much better than Patrick.

  Reaching my eyes over, I see her arms are crossed over her chest and that her tiny body is trembling. “Hey, are you cold?” I ask. Stupid question, moron. Of course she’s cold, she’s shivering.

  “A little, but I’ll be alright,” she turns to answer me.

  I’m about to go get my jacket from my car, but Patrick comes back and I don’t feel like leaving her alone with him.

  “Okay, so I’ve gotta order the tire from our Denver location. I’ll probably have it here later today and can have your car ready by tomorrow morning,” he explains and we both look over to her, waiting for her response.

  Holly’s face looks nervous.

  “Will that work?” Patrick asks.

  “Um, sure. I mean, I guess so,” she answers.

  “Hey, don’t worry. I can bring you wherever you need to go,” I tell her.

  “You have to get back to school, Carter.” She tilts her head towards me. I can’t lie that it’s so darn cute that she cares about me missing class.

  I wave off her excuse. “Really, it’s not a big deal. I’m not missing anything.” Actually, that isn’t true. I’m missing a test review in a class where my professor has already brought my tardiness to my attention. Doesn’t matter, though, I’d skip the damn test rather than leave her here with the guy standing next to me. Plus, bonus, I get to spend the entire day with her.

  She swallows hard and licks her lips. “Okay, I just feel bad,” she says finally.

  “Don’t feel bad.” I shake my head and smile.

  She stares at me for a long minute and I can’t seem to tear my eyes away from hers.

  “So…” Patrick draws out the word and clears his throat, breaking the trance we have on each other.