Truths Unspoken

by K. J. McPike

  “Excuse me?” Lali leapt off the couch, and I had to hold her back. I wouldn’t have put it past her to try and knock Solstice out right there. It was tempting to let it happen, but we still needed Solstice to help us figure out why Lali couldn’t find the portal.

  Instead of blowing up as I expected, Lali shoved my arm away, stormed down the hall, and slammed the door to the bathroom so hard I was sure the whole apartment shook.

  Solstice let out a harsh laugh. “Your girlfriend is having another fit. Might want to go reel her in.”

  “Stop egging her on!” I shouted. “Why are you making this difficult?”

  “I’m not. It’s not my fault she can’t handle failure.”

  I bunched my hands around the fabric of my shirt. Now I was sure Solstice was putting on a show for Delta’s ears. “She’s going to find the portal.” I made sure my voice was loud enough for Delta to hear, too. Two could play at that game.

  Turning on my heel, I headed toward the bathroom calling Lali’s name.

  “Go away,” she called back.

  I opened the door anyway and found her glaring at me. “Hey,” I said softly.

  “You don’t take direction well,” she grumbled, lowering herself onto the edge of the tub.

  “You don’t take encouragement well. Guess we’re even.” I knelt in front of her, placing my hands on either side of where she sat on the cold porcelain tub. “Forget Solstice, okay? If you want, we can go to the beach and you can figure this out in peace.”

  “There’s nothing to figure out.” Her eyes grew moist like she was fighting not to cry. “I’m doing exactly what she told me, but it’s not working.”

  “It’s just going to take a little time.”

  “Time?” She gave me an incredulous look. “It already took three weeks just to permeate. How much longer will it take to find the portal? I can’t handle all these setbacks and disappointments. I just want my family back. Is that so much to ask?”

  Tell me about it.

  One of her eyes spilled over, and without thinking, I caught the tear with my thumb. She shut her eyes and leaned into my hand, making my stomach do a little dance.

  I do not have feelings for her. I don’t.

  “I know it’s frustrating,” I said, fighting to keep it together myself. “And I feel terrible sitting around while you do all the work.” I looked into her eyes, hoping she could see the honesty in what I was saying. If I could trade places with her, I would do it without hesitation. Just sitting there helpless while demanding everything from her was excruciating.

  “I just wish you could see how much hope you’ve given me,” I continued. “When you made it to that transposer today—” The thought alone made me have to stop and catch my breath. If only she could understand how much that meant to me, how much I’d needed that resurgence of faith. “This is the most confident I’ve ever felt that I’ll see Kala again. Please, don’t give up. I need you.”

  She blew out her breath. “I’m not giving up.” My chest lifted at her words. That was all I needed to hear. “I’m just frustrated.”

  “That’s understandable,” I said, standing up again and holding out my hand. “Can I make you some tea while you recover a bit?”

  “No, thanks. I want to try again now.”

  I sighed. “Lali, you need to rest. You were up there for a long time.”

  “I’m fine,” she insisted.

  “You’re going to—” I stopped when I realized she’d projected again.

  Typical. Her breathing became labored within seconds, and I jiggled her shoulders to snap her out of the projection. I didn’t need her passing out like she had on the beach when she’d first traveled.

  “Why did you do that?” she choked out, her voice barely surviving the sentence.

  “Because I didn’t feel like carrying you out of here. You were wheezing like your lungs were going to explode.”

  “I’m told you, I’m fine.”

  “No, you’re crazy. And stubborn. And too pretty to be the first girl to die from projecting too much.” I felt my mouth twitch, and hers followed suit. That time, my heart did the dancing.

  Stop it! What was my problem?

  Before I could say anything else humiliating, I pulled her up from the side of the tub, ignoring the roller coaster sensation I got from her being so close.

  “Kai, I—” She started to fall, but she caught herself on the side of the tub.

  I gave her a look. “See? You’re drained. I’m taking you home so you can rest.”

  Thankfully, she didn’t argue. The only protest came from a little voice in my head that yelled at me for worrying about Lali. Her being drained shouldn’t have mattered so much to me. She shouldn’t have mattered so much to me.

  But she did.

  …Shortly after that moment, I realized Solstice was right. No matter how I tried to deny it, I cared about you, Lali. Despite all the stress hanging over us and putting both of us on edge, I could see your heart and the goodness there. With so many people in my life encouraging me to lie and manipulate, you were the one person who just wanted to be honest with everyone and do the right thing. You were the kind of person I told myself I would have been if the circumstances had been different.

  Though I didn’t want to admit it, I took you home because I was worried about your health. Even if it meant delaying getting to Alea, I wanted you to be okay. That was when I truly started to grasp what you meant to me, and it was terrifying. I fought it as best I could, but it wasn’t enough…

  Chapter 44

  Suspicion

  Lali slouched and frowned at me from her bed. Her face was flushed, her skin dewy from the effort of projecting, and I knew I’d made the right call stopping her. “How long am I out, coach?” she grumbled.

  “Until you can project without sounding like a pig having an asthma attack,” I replied, unable to contain my laugh at the hateful look she gave me. I sat down next to her. “Just trying to make sure you don’t push yourself too hard trying to find the portal. And you will find it.”

  She avoided my eyes, and I could tell she wasn’t buying it.

  “Hey.” I pulled her face up so she would look at me. “You will. I’m sure of it. I’ve never had as much faith in anyone as I have in you.” I felt the truth in my words even more as I said them. Lali had stayed strong for so long, and she’d been my only reason to believe I could find my sister after months of dead ends had chipped away at my hope. I owed her so much.

  Gratitude swelled in my chest as I moved my hand up to her cheek, and before I knew what I was doing, I pressed my mouth to hers. Her soft lips parted in surprise, but she transformed in an instant. Suddenly, she was kissing me back, hard.

  My pulse hammered as her hands tangled in my hair. Warmth spread through my body, the sensation unlike any I’d known before. I couldn’t deny anymore that I did have feelings for Lali. And from the urgency in how she held me to her, she had feelings for me, too.

  Too bad she can’t trust you. The voice in my head jarred me into reality, and I pulled away. I couldn’t do this. Not when I couldn’t be honest with her. Not when she was going to hate me as soon as she realized I was the one who had her mom. She’d think I played her just to get my sister back.

  Had I played her?

  I watched her face fall, and it was like someone had stabbed me. “What’s wrong?” I asked. Stupid question. I was wrong. Everything about me was wrong.

  “Nothing.” But I could tell she was lying. I could always tell when she was lying. That was one of the most endearing things about her.

  “I just—” She cut herself off, as if she couldn’t think of how to let me down gently. But she didn’t have to.

  “Too much going on right now?” I gave her an out before she could tell me that she didn’t feel anything for me, that she wasn’t thinking clearly because of the emotional strain on her. Staring at the narrow wooden planks of her floor, I told myself I didn’t care if she didn’t want me. It coul
d never happen, anyway. Not after everything I’d done, everything I’d lied about. She would never be able to accept me once she knew the truth.

  She sighed and nodded without looking at me. “It’s not that I don’t...you know.”

  “I get it,” I said, grasping for what shred of dignity I had left.

  “Rain check?”

  I forced a smile. Stood up. Put my hands in my pockets so she couldn’t see that they were shaking. “Get some rest, okay?” Thankfully, my voice didn’t waver. “I’ll come by bright and early tomorrow.”

  I left before she could respond—before I could give myself away. I dropped onto my own bed and ran my hands through my hair. It was better this way. I didn’t need to be getting involved with someone who had no idea who I truly was. Besides, if lines got blurred between us, we wouldn’t be able to focus on what we were doing, and it would be even harder for Lali to get to Alea with Solstice’s confusing directions.

  Solstice. I remembered that I’d left her alone with Delta. She was probably convincing Delta to give up on Lali as I sat here wallowing like a loser. I had to get my head right. I couldn’t have Solstice derailing our efforts because I let myself get caught up in a moment.

  Steeling myself, I showed up in Solstice’s kitchen to find her and Delta sitting at the table talking. They both looked tense.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  Delta glanced at me and pursed her lips. “It’s obvious Lali is struggling…” she began.

  No! Solstice had already gotten to her.

  I shook my head. “She just needs some time to figure it out. She’s overwhelmed.” Especially now that I went and kissed her.

  “Or she can’t activate the portal because she’s a semmie,” Solstice said. “If that’s the case, we’re beating a dead horse.”

  I started to argue, but Delta jumped in first. “I’ve been thinking, and I might be able to undo the sink without affecting Cade’s astral energy.”

  Solstice and I both stared at her. Where did that come from?

  “You can do that?” Solstice gasped. “Why didn’t you tell me that in the first place?”

  Delta’s eyes darted between us. “Well, I’m not sure if it will work. I want to try, though.”

  “You said you couldn’t undo intentions if you have fewer people than when the crystals are programmed,” Solstice said.

  “Well, it’s worth a shot, isn’t it?” Delta blinked again. “If it doesn’t work, then I’ll try to help you find the others. I may have a way to find Ori.”

  At that, Solstice lit up.

  “But I insist we try it this way first,” Delta added, turning to me. “You have access to a crystal shop, right?”

  I nodded slowly. I got the feeling something weird was up, especially after Delta made such a big deal about the dangers of undoing the sink before. But given that Lali probably didn’t want to look at me after that awkward post-kiss exchange, maybe it was worth seeing what this was all about.

  “Good,” Delta said. “They should have everything I need there. Then I’ll have to dig up the buried stone with all our astral energy inside. Solstice and I will take it from there.”

  “Okay.” I held out my hand. “Let’s go.”

  The crystal store was dark when we appeared, save for a glowing red EXIT sign above us. I started to reach for my phone to use as a flashlight, but Delta grabbed my arm.

  “Kai,” she whispered. “Solstice is lying about where to find the portal.”

  I jerked back. “What are you talking about?” Solstice had been more discouraging than ever, but I thought it was to convince Delta that our only option was to undo the sink. I didn’t think she’d stoop so low as to lie about how to get to Alea.

  “She admitted it after you took Lali home,” Delta breathed. “She says she’s trying to keep Lali safe, but I know she just doesn’t want to return to Alea without her ability.”

  “Then why are we looking for crystals? We should be getting answers from her.”

  “She won’t tell me the real location, and I know she won’t tell you, either. I don’t know where the portal is because I’ve only been carried between the realms, and everything is a blur up there. So I’m letting Solstice think she talked me into undoing the sink.”

  “Okay…” I couldn’t keep up with all the deceit anymore. “What are you really doing?”

  “Something that gives you a better chance of getting to Alea. But you’re going to have to trust me. And you’ll have to lie to Solstice.”

  I snorted. Lying seemed to be all I did these days. What was one more fib now? “Fine,” I sighed. “I’m in. What do you have in mind?”

  Chapter 45

  Backup

  “No way.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Things are crazy enough as it is. I can’t bring Lali’s brothers and sisters into this, too.” My mind was still reeling from Delta’s suggestion to use the guise of trying to undo the energy sink as a way to trick Solstice into helping her awaken the astral energy in Lali’s siblings. I didn’t even know that type of thing was possible, but I was sure I didn’t want to do it.

  “Do you want to get your sister back or not?” Delta stared me down, her face half illuminated by the red glow of the EXIT sign above us. “You’ll have a much better shot with four more semmies on your side.”

  “You just said you wouldn’t force astral energy on people.”

  “I said I wouldn’t do it to people who weren’t equipped to handle it,” Delta corrected. “Lali’s brothers and sisters are—they just haven’t developed their abilities yet.”

  I raked my fingers through my hair. Even if they were physically prepared, it still felt wrong. After all the time I’d spent with Lali, I knew how much her siblings meant to her.

  “And you think this will work just because they have the same initials as your little group?” I asked. Xiomara had named her kids with the same first initials as the members of XODUS: Lali’s full name was Xitlali, and her brothers and sisters were Oxanna, Dixon, Ulyxses, and Salaxia. I wasn’t sure how Delta knew that, but that was the least of my worries.

  “I can word the intention to make it work. I know it will. I’ve seen—” Delta cut herself off suddenly.

  I frowned. “You’ve seen what?”

  “Just trust me. I can connect them to the group and awaken their powers.”

  “But there’s no guarantee they can help us.”

  “There’s a chance.” She glanced around the darkened store as if she expected to find someone eavesdropping. “The Eyes and Ears forced me to awaken plenty of abilities in semmies, and I’ve seen the ways their powers can turn out. Some can project their thoughts to look like reality, some can project through time, some can project into people’s minds and control them. If one of Lali’s siblings can get into Solstice’s head, they’d be able to make her tell us exactly where to find the portal.”

  “And what if none of them can do that?” I challenged. “What if none of them can help us at all?”

  “Then we’ll be in the same position we’re in now.”

  My stomach twisted. I hated this. But if Solstice was lying to us, we weren’t going to make progress anyway. And Lali’s siblings were going to get their abilities eventually. Would it be that bad if they got them early? Maybe if they did, it would take some of the strain off Lali. She was doing everything by herself, and it had to be taking a toll on her.

  I shifted my weight. “You’re sure it won’t hurt them?”

  “Of course. It will just awaken the abilities that are already lying dormant. After Solstice and I go through the ritual, you’ll take the programmed quartz and hold it near Lali’s brothers and sisters until it glows. They won’t feel a thing.”

  I sighed heavily. “If you really think this will help—”

  “It will.” Delta spun around to face the rows of plastic bins, little more than darkened outlines in the limited light. “I’ll get everything I need from here. I told Solstice I’d dig up the origin
al quartz we used for the sink, but I can get a similar enough stone that she won’t realize the switch.”

  Grabbing a leather pouch off one of the racks, she moved around the store collecting supplies. I turned on my phone’s flashlight and aimed it just ahead of her so she could see what she was doing. Soon, she had at least two dozen stones, a dagger, a bunch of white candles, and a circular cloth like the one Xiomara used to set up the block around the in-law.

  We made a detour so she could dig up a bit of dirt in the woods. She said that part was to make it look like she had really found the original quartz they’d used to trap Cade’s astral energy. I didn’t argue. I just wanted to get the whole thing over with.

  Once we’d gone over what I was to say after the ritual, we appeared in Solstice’s apartment again.

  “We got everything,” Delta announced. She had the leather pouch strung across her torso, and her arms could barely hold all the candles she’d wrapped in the cloth.

  Solstice came around the corner from the kitchen and eyed Delta with a skeptical expression. “Del, I don’t—”

  “Just trust me,” Delta said firmly. With that, she scurried into the bedroom.

  Solstice stared after her for a long moment before turning to me. “Did she explain it to you? Something doesn’t add up.”

  I shrugged. “I don’t understand anything about crystals or energy manipulation. But whatever her plan is, she seems confident in it.” I hoped that sounded neutral enough.

  “I don’t know why she thinks this will work. Two can’t undo the intention of five.”

  “Well, she’s the expert, right?” I hedged.

  “Okay,” Delta called from the hallway. She came into the living room and nodded. “The sacred space is ready.”

  Solstice charged forward, and I followed her into the bedroom. The white candles were lit and flickering around the cloth on the floor. Each marked the five ends of an asterisk-looking shape made of colorful stones.