Vengeance MC Box Set - Volume 1: Call Me...Vengeance ~ Fury ~ Jonas

by Natasha Thomas

  What the hell is that about? Why would saying I matter to him cause him pain?

  I don’t get the opportunity to ask him when he continues, saying,

  “Get that out of your head. I don’t know exactly what you’re thinking, but from the look on your face, it can’t be good.”

  “Get out of my brain,” I mutter half-heartedly.

  Reaching down, Fury hooks his hands under my armpits, pulling me up and onto his lap. I gasp, but that doesn’t deter him as he settles me straddling his thighs, one of mine on either side of his.

  We sit like this, Fury’s hands on my hips, mine on his shoulders, until he breaks the silence. At the same time, he tilts my chin with one finger and our gazes finally connect, causing my eyes to widen at what I see in his.

  Fury’s bright blue eyes are on fire. The emotions swirling in them are so intense, for a second there I feel like I can’t breathe. Patience. Fear. Concern. But most of all, love.

  Cradling my face in his calloused palms, Fury leans forward until our foreheads are touching.

  “I won’t lie; I was hiding it from you. I never wanted to cause you pain, so I figured if I didn’t tell you I’d be saving, at least, one of us from having to feel it. You mean the fucking world to me, Avery. Even more now than you did then, so if it was in my power to spare you from the shit I was going through, which this was, I was going to do it. I fucked up, though. I should have told you sooner, I just didn’t know how. So much time had gone by, every time I thought of how to tell you, I couldn’t come up with an explanation to make you understand why I hadn’t to begin with.”

  Interrupting, I murmur,

  “You didn’t have to explain, Tanner. For that matter, you still don’t. All you had to do was say the words, everything else is just semantics.”

  “Yeah, I get that, now,” he admits. “But back then my life was falling apart, Avery, and I couldn’t jeopardize losing you. The only thing good I had left was you. If there was any chance what I had to tell you would destroy that, I wasn’t willing to risk it. I’m not saying you would have turned your back on me,” he adds, again reading my mind. “But things would have been different between us if you knew.”

  “No, they wouldn’t,” I challenge.

  “Yeah, they would, baby,” he returns gently. “You don’t think I knew you had feelings for me then? I did. I shouldn’t have because there were so many reasons why it was fucking wrong, but I felt the same way about you. You were young, your whole life was ahead of you, and I was married. Not to mention, your Dad would have fucking killed me if he knew half of the things I thought about doing to his little girl. How your Dad would react wasn’t what kept me from making you mine, though, Avery. It was Rosalie telling me she was pregnant.”

  Fury didn’t need to tell me that, I’d guessed as much. As young as I was, I caught the lust-filled way he looked at me when he thought I wasn’t watching. I knew there was something between us that both of us felt, but neither of us would act on.

  For him, it was because he was married. He would never cheat on his wife, he’s too loyal and has too much respect to hurt someone like that. For me, it was because I knew my affections wouldn’t be returned.

  Sure, I knew Fury loved me, but that could never go any further than the platonic love he showed me as his friend. If it wasn’t for Rosalie dying, I have no doubt he would have stuck by her and their son, and they’d still be together to this day. A thought that has my heart squeezing in my chest like it’s been put in a vice.

  Fury’s breath washes over my lips, my cheeks, and my chin as he exhales heavily. I can almost sense his inner turmoil as he struggles to find his next the words.

  “Rosalie was nothing like you, Avery,” he confesses, causing me to flinch.

  Tightening his fingers, they dig into my hips enough so that I’m sure I’ll have bruises from them by morning. I don’t care, though. I want him to touch me however that may be.

  “Where you’re strong, she was weak. Rosalie needed me to take care of her and make her decisions for her because she was too afraid she’d mess up. She wasn’t confident, she didn’t like to leave the house unless she absolutely had to, and she didn’t want anything to do with the club. Actually, if I’m honest, Rosalie actively avoided everything MC related. My brothers and my club are a big part of my life. With me, you get them and vice versa. Rosalie didn’t see it that way, though. She thought when I came home to her, I left the club at the door along with my bike and my cut.”

  “Really?” I mumble under my breath. “Why wouldn’t she want to support something that made you happy, Tanner? That doesn’t make any sense. You were a prospect when you met her, she had to know what she was getting into with you when you got together.”

  Chuckling without humor, Fury smiles at me. It’s the first one I’ve seen from him since he arrived, and it is dazzling.

  “You would think so, but regardless of how many times I explained to her the club was just like a big, extended family, and that the men and women there would lay down their lives for her, she didn’t get it. Or, I should say; she didn’t want to. Rosalie was happy making a home for us. That was all she wanted out of life, and, at the time, I thought that’s what I wanted too. I thought I could overlook the fact my wife alienated herself from my family, but it didn’t take long, six months I think it was before I realized I couldn’t do it anymore. The day she was killed I was supposed to be there. She made me promised her I’d be home early, and I agreed because I needed to talk to her anyway. No one at the club or otherwise knew Rosalie was pregnant because I hadn’t told them. I needed to figure out what the fuck I was going to do before I shared the news with anyone. If I left her, Rosalie would have taken my boy and I never would have laid eyes on him again, that much I was sure of. If I stayed, I’d be miserable for the rest of my life, but at least I’d have my son. It was the definition of a rock and a hard place.”

  “Oh, Tanner,” I whisper.

  Kissing the tip of my nose, he continues.

  “Looking back on it, I think Rosalie knew we were at a crossroads. She didn’t say as much, but she wasn’t stupid enough not to notice me pulling away from her either. That’s why she wanted me home. We didn’t spend any time together outside of when we went to bed at night, and even then, I made sure I came in after I knew she was already asleep. You’re not going to want to hear this part, but you have to know,” Fury warns me. “I hadn’t fucked her for months before she was killed. I couldn’t bring myself to touch her when all I could think about was you.”

  Holy crap! Holy, holy, crap with a cracker top.

  I’d be lying if I said the thought of Fury being intimate with another woman didn’t cause the ugly, green monster, jealousy to rear its head. But hearing Fury couldn’t follow through, although it probably makes me sound like a screaming bitch to say this, does soften the blow a little.

  “Um, I’m not sure what you expect me to say to that?” I mutter, examining his ever-changing facial expressions carefully.

  “Not much to say, baby,” Fury shrugs. “It doesn’t make me feel good admitting I was a shit husband, but that doesn’t change that I was. When I should’ve been focused on saving my marriage, I was too busy trying to work out the easiest way out of it. I mightn’t have wanted to hurt, Rosalie, but if I were forced to make a choice, it wouldn’t have been her.”

  Shocked, I place my palm flat on his chest and lament,

  “You don’t mean that, Tanner. You’re upset, that’s all.”

  Shaking his head ‘no’ once, Fury covers my hand with his own.

  “I’m not upset, Avery, I moved past upset a long fucking time ago. And I do mean it. Yeah, I loved Rosalie, she was my wife and she was pregnant with my kid, but I wasn’t in love with her. How could I be when I was already in love with someone else?”

  Dropping my head to his chest, I take a deep breath through my nose and am instantly rewarded with the musky scent that is uniquely, Fury.

  “This is so not
where I thought this conversation was heading when you got here tonight,” I mumble ruefully into his t-shirt. And then, stupid, stupid, not think clearly me blurts out, “Can we go back to that? Not that I’m saying I don’t want to hear your life story because I do. It’s just, I think my brain’s gonna explode with the amount of information it’s trying to process.”

  “Sure, baby, we can do that,” he says grinning.

  How do I know he’s grinning? Because, why wouldn’t he be? I dropped myself right into that one.

  Ignoring Fury’s smirk – the one I’d be more than happy to erase for him – I ask politely,

  “Do you think you can let me go for this portion of the conversation?”

  “No. I like right where you are. It’s safer too. Less likely for you to be able to throw a tantrum and get away.”

  Dammit! Thwarted again.

  “Alright,” I huff, knowing there’s no use arguing with him about it. If Fury wants me to stay where I am, I’m not deluded enough to think I can overpower him to get away. It’s better to just go with it.

  “You gave in pretty fast there, baby. You sure you don’t want to fight me on it?”

  “No,” I snap. “What’s the point? Your Highness has decided he likes me where I am, so where I am, I shall stay.”

  “Glad we’re in agreement. That means there’s a good chance we’ll see eye to eye on the other shit we’ve got to talk about too,” he replies still grinning at me.

  “Consider me your own personal magic eight ball when I say; that is highly unlikely. My agreeable quota just expired, next time I suggest you use it more wisely,” I inform him sagely.

  “I’ll bear that in mind, but we’ve got more important things to discuss than your awesome powers of foresight, Avery. So, how about you close that beautiful mouth of yours and let me say my piece. That way, we can get to the you screaming at me for being an inconsiderate asshole portion of the evening,” he offers congenially.

  “I’m so sure,” I humph, pouting childishly.

  “Right, let’s get this done quick,” Fury starts. “I’ve already explained why I broke my promise to you, and trust me, there’s nothing I’d like more than to go back in time and erase how much I hurt you by not keeping my word, but I can’t. All I can do is tell you again how fucking sorry I am, and spend the rest of my life making it up to you. People fuck up, it’s a fact of life, which means if you’re with me, you’ll have to forgive me for fucking up a lot more. But when I’m not, what I can guaran-fucking-tee you is, things will be so good between us it’ll make the not so good times worth it.”

  Narrowing my eyes at him, I bite out,

  “I don’t even know what that means. One minute you’re there and we’re friends, the next you’re gone and we aren’t anything, and now, you want me to believe you’ve been harboring feeling for me for over a decade?”

  “Yep,” he says, shrugging again.

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” I screech only inches away from his face. “Either you are and it isn’t funny, or you’re certifiably insane. Whichever it is, this is not normal behavior, Tanner Scott. Not normal behavior at all.”

  “Never claimed to be normal, Avery. I don’t want to be either,” he grunts, shifting us until my head hits my plush, European accent pillows, and his body is lying on top of mine.

  I’d probably be remiss if I didn’t point out, I don’t notice the intimacy of our position since currently, all I can see is red.

  “Don’t fight it, baby,” Fury growls suggestively in my ear, nipping at it with his teeth. “You and I both know we want to explore this.”

  “Seriously, I’m worried about your mental health, Tanner. I think we should seek help for you immediately. Who knows if your current condition could become permanent, and if it did, what would you do then?” I utter, still unperturbed by the weight of his body pressing me into the mattress.

  “Anyone ever told you you’re fucking adorable when you’re angry?” He returns, unfazed by my rambling.

  “Yes. My Dad,” bitchy Avery retorts sharply.

  Giving me another one of his sexy half smiles, Fury lifts up on an elbow and stares down at me.

  “I’m sorry, Avery. I’m so fucking sorry I hurt you, and I wish I could promise it won’t happen again. But just know if I do, it won’t be intentional. I’d never hurt you on purpose, you know that right?”

  For your information, when Tanner ‘Fury’ Scott gazes at you lovingly, with soft eyes, an even softer mouth, and apologizes sincerely, there’s not a woman alive who can resist him. And I am no exception.

  “I know,” I whisper, watching as his eyes turn liquid.

  “It’s time to make a choice, Avery, so I’m going to put all my cards on the table so you’re playing with a full deck,” he says, not moving his eyes from mine. “I want you, and I want to see where what we’ve got between us goes. I can’t promise you it’ll last, and that’s not because I don’t want to, it’s just not realistic. You might not be able to stand me not putting my shit in the hamper and leaving the toilet seat up. And I might not be able to handle having to wrestle through your panties and bras hanging in my shower when I’ve got somewhere I need to be. That said; if the promise of you is half of what I believe it is, I’ll deal with all that and more if it means I get to come home to you at the end of every day. If you’re in my bed, my house, my life, I can’t imagine there’s anything you could do that will make it so I’d want to change that. All I need is for you to give me one more chance. One more chance to prove to you how good we can be together. The only condition I’ve got is if you say yes, that means you’re all in.”

  Holy crap. No, I amend that. Holy fucking crap.

  “And, um, what prey tell does being all in entail?”

  Running his nose down the length of my neck, only stopping to pepper kisses across my collarbone, Fury goes on to say,

  “That means, you’re mine. No other man gets to touch you, and you don’t touch any other man. It means you’ll start and end all of your days in my bed, and we’ll be spending a fuck of a lot of time in it together at other times of the day too. It means you’ll trust me to keep you safe, talk to me about your day, and let me take care of you whenever I think you need taking care of. It also means you’ll have my heart, my devotion, my protection, and my cock. The last one as often as you’ll let me give it to you. I’m not going to lie to you, Avery. I want this, but I want you to want it too. You’ve been through more than most women do in a lifetime already and you’re only twenty-five, so it’s understandable if you don’t want to tie yourself to a man right now, but that doesn’t change how I feel. You decide this isn’t what you want, I’m not who you want, I’ll respect that. I won’t say I’ll be happy about it, but I’ll let you go so you can find your slice of happy. No matter what, me and you, we’ll always be friends. That won’t ever change. It might take me a while, if ever, to come to terms with you not wanting me the same way, but I’d never let that jeopardize our friendship. I fucked up once and risked that, I won’t do it again. I love you, Avery, but I’ve got to be your choice.”

  Blinking up at the man who has held my heart for over a decade, I know he’s right. He does have to be my choice. The funny thing is, that was never in question. I would always choose Tanner.

  Just because I hadn’t told him as much, I chose him when I met him for the first time when I was twelve. I chose him when he became my first crush the very same week. I chose Fury when I was fourteen and learned the meaning of love, and I’ve chosen him every day since.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  ~ Fury ~

  “I love you more than serial killers love conversion vans.”

  - yourecards

  Staring down at the woman I love more than life itself, my gut twists with anxiety at what her answer will be.

  I’ve laid myself bare, put my heart on the line, and told her everything I’ve wanted to say to her for years, but Bella was right. This has to be her choice and as much a
s it pains me – and trust me, Avery’s silence is fucking killing me – I’m not going to coerce her into making a decision she’ll one day end up regretting.

  Reaching out, tracing the line of my jaw, Avery skims her fingers tentative over the contours of my face. I love that she’s touching me, that she’s brave enough to put her fears aside for me, but I need her to answer me more.

  Kissing the tips of her fingers as they make their next pass, I plead,

  “Talk to me, baby. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  “I think I need help deciding,” she replies, after a lengthy pause.

  “And how do you suggest I do that?” I hedge, hoping like hell she means what I think she does.

  Fighting to keep her anxiety at bay, Avery searches for the words to tell me how much she needs me. This is another of those times I wish I could help her, but this has to be all her too. This is a huge step for her, and as desperate as I am for her, it’s not something I’d ever rush her into.

  Which is why she shocks the shit out of me when she says,

  “I need you to make love to me.” Diverting her eyes as if she’s embarrassed by her admission, she goes on to add, “I need to know if I’m even capable of having that kind of intimacy with someone, Tanner. It would be wrong for me to trap you into something if I can’t give you that piece of myself.”