Loving Sofia

by Alina Man

Mark

  I haven’t seen Birdie since the morning Mona came over to our place. This is the first time in a long while that I’m home before midnight, and as I’m parking the car, I’m surprised to see she’s home. I check my watch and since it’s still early, I wonder if maybe something is wrong.

  I rush in the house and call her name. The first thing I notice is the aroma coming from the kitchen. She’s cooking and my stomach is growling in anticipation. I lean against the kitchen door and watch her. She has no clue I’m there, humming and swaying her hips to Mumford and Sons. She turns around, screams with one hand to her chest, and the other throws the spoon in my direction.

  “What the hell Mark, are you trying to kill me?” she yells over the music, and I can’t help but laugh.

  “Sorry Birdie, I thought you heard me.”

  “That’s BS, and you know it.”

  “Smells good. Did you make enough for me too, or are you too mad to let me eat?” I am trying to lighten up the mood and I’m glad when I see the corners of her mouth coming up slightly.

  “Maybe. You have time to change, wash or whatever. I’m making lasagna so it won’t be done for another thirty minutes or so.”

  “My favorite,” I say and go around to give her a quick hug. She stiffens for a moment, but eventually she gives in. I can smell her shampoo and try to memorize her scent. Before long she moves away and starts chopping veggies for salad. “If you don’t need any help, I’ll go take a quick shower.”

  “Go for it. I’ll call you when it’s done.”

  I take longer than usual, washing and shaving, then change in jeans and a plain white t-shirt. She already set the table and is pouring some wine.

  “I was about to come get you. I hope you’re hungry because I made enough to last us a month.”

  I take a bite of my lasagna and I swear it tastes like heaven. I tell her so and she just laughs. “You always say that, each time I make it,” she says.

  We talk about work and nothing else, keeping it safe and easy. After dinner I help her clean the kitchen and put the leftovers away.

  “Wanna watch a movie?” I ask her. Please say yes, just this once.

  “I would love to, but I have to do some work. I left early today and didn’t get anything done.”

  “No worries, some other time.” Can she hear the disappointment in my voice? I just hope I don’t look as pathetic as I sound. She gives me a small smile and walks away.

  Chapter 19.

  Sofia

  The weeks that follow are hectic, and between work and having to put up with Lisa, my life is pretty miserable. I wondered if I should talk to Amanda about it, but in the end I decide it’s best to keep the whole thing to myself and just ignore Lisa. She’s probably just bluffing anyway and saying crap just to see how far she can push me.

  At home, things are almost back to normal. Mark and I have had dinner together every evening, except on the weekends, and the awkward wall is almost gone. He is about done with the “kiddie house” as he calls it, and vows to take a three month sabbatical because of all the stress he had to deal with. On several occasions he mentions Bradley’s involvement and how much of a pain in the behind he is to work with. But he tries to make it sound like a joke, not an insult. He knows things are getting serious between Bradley and me, well as serious as they could get after a few months of dating, and seems genuinely happy for me.

  …..

  The company “gala” as Amanda calls it is tonight, and I’m super nervous. The gala is nothing but a very expensive dinner in the company of very rich and influential people. At least I finished the project on time, with Bradley’s help, and I’m pretty happy with the results. Yet the thought of standing up in front of a room full of people is nerve-wracking and making my palms sweat.

  “Stop fidgeting,” Amanda admonishes me as if I’m a little child. “Just take a deep breath and you’ll be fine.” I look at my boss and try to get it together.

  “I’m sorry, I’m just nervous.”

  “Well don’t be. You did a great job and should be proud of how it turned out.”

  Considering she’s not one to give compliments, this means so much. I look around the room and find Bradley watching me intently. He gives me a small wave and a reassuring smile. I’m instantly happy he’s here to support me. I would’ve loved to have Mona and Jon here also, not to mention Mark.

  Amanda takes the podium, welcomes everyone, and then goes over tonight’s agenda. Before long, my name is announced. Well here goes nothing.

  I can’t tell if my voice sounds shaky and I try to keep my cool and not miss any lines or slides. By the time I’m done, everyone is applauding—including Amanda. I thank everyone, then Bradley comes up to me and helps me down the few steps. Someone is turning on the lights, the small table holding the projector is rolled out the door, and I can finally breathe.

  “You did it sweetheart,” Bradley says and leans in to kiss my temple. “I am so proud of you. I told you you’d be great, didn’t I?”

  Several co-workers come over to congratulate me and I’m being hugged, kissed, and shaking hands. Finally Amanda makes her way up to us, and you can tell she’s pleased. Before I can react, she engulfs me in her arms.

  “Darling, how are you feeling?”

  I find my voice and force a smile. “I’m just glad it’s over.”

  “Everyone loved it just like I knew they would. I had total confidence in you. I’ll let you guys enjoy your dinner,” she says and starts to walk away. “Oh and Sofia, take the rest of the week off. You earned it.”

  I am so happy I could scream, but I’m not sure that would go well with the crowed I’m in. Bradley’s fingers entwine with mine and together we walk to our table. To my surprise, crazy Lisa, as I call her, is waiting for us there. I pretend not to see her, but she is drunk as a skunk and acting weirder than the usual, disturbing everyone in the vicinity.

  “Well, well, well… if it isn’t the star of the ball and her charming prince.”

  Bradley gives her an authoritarian look but she’s unstoppable. She pushes herself up and leans over the table, dropping a wine glass in the process.

  “Does Amanda know he is the reason you were able to pull this off? Everyone is all cheery over what a wonderful job you did, but you’re nothing but a fraud. That’s what you are, you stupid bi-”

  She doesn’t get to finish because Bradley is already at her side, pulling her out of her chair. The hotel security is moving towards us and before anyone can figure out what’s going on, she’s escorted out of the room. I look around and everyone is watching us, making my skin flush. The nauseating feeling I had earlier is back in the pit of my stomach.

  In seconds, Amanda is there, looking more upset than worried. “What the hell is going on?” Amanda asks in a low voice. When I finally speak, my voice is really unsteady.

  “Lisa is still holding a grudge over the account,” I say and proceed to explain everything.

  “Good lord Sofia, why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

  “I didn’t think she was serious. I mean, who goes bananas over something like this, seriously? You would think she would be happy that she didn’t have to do all the work.” I try to laugh about the whole incident, but I’m still shaken up.

  “If you ever encounter anything of this sort again, you have to inform me immediately. I didn’t want to scare you, but the reason why I took those few days off was because someone broke into my house. Now I wonder if maybe she had something to do with it. I will have to report this. What a mess.”

  Eventually the dinner resumes, the details of the incident already forgotten. My appetite is already gone and all I can think of is getting out of here. I want to go home and soak in a long hot bath until my skin gets pruny.

  “Sweetheart?” Bradley’s voice brings me back from whatever lala land I was visiting.

  “Sorry did you say something?”

  “Why don’t I take you home with me tonight? Let me take care of you for a cha
nge. Plus, I’ll feel so much better knowing you’re safe and away from that crazy person.”

  “Bradley, I drove myself here tonight. Besides I’m ok, really. I’ll just go home and take a long bath and crash for the next few days. That’s how tired I feel.”

  “Are you sure I can’t make you change your mind?” he moves his thumb over my knuckles in a hypnotizing rhythm.

  “I’m positive,” I say and move my hand away slowly. We gather our things and after a few handshakes and farewells, we walk hand in hand to my car.

  “I wish you would just listen to me and let me take you home. You were pretty shaken up in there.”

  I open my car, drop everything on the passenger seat, then turn to him and walk into his open arms. He holds me tightly for a few seconds, dropping small kisses at the side of my face.

  “I will call you tomorrow,” I promise, then get into my car and drive away. Only when I’m out of the parking lot do I finally let go. Not just a few tears, but full blown sobs. I drive on auto pilot without paying attention to any of the street signs, and I’m lucky to make it home in once piece. I turn the car off and lay my head on the steering wheel, sobbing. Not for what happened tonight, but for everything else that’s going on in my life.

  I don’t hear the knocking on my window but someone has opened my door and is pulling me out. I don’t need to look to see who it is, because everything from the smell to the touch is familiar. I lean my head on his arm and immediately soak the soft material of his shirt. He doesn’t seem to mind. He turns to lock the door and set the alarm, never letting me go.

  After he takes my coat off, he gently lays me on the sofa. Then he sits on the floor in front of me, pushing the hair out of my face and wiping the tears with his thumb.

  “Babe, what happened tonight?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” I cry and close my eyes. I feel so tired and simply drained.

  He leaves long enough to go to his room and grab a blanket. When he returns, he tucks me in. He takes the same spot on the carpet as before and continues to play with my hair. Eventually I let myself fall asleep.

  Chapter 20.

  Sofia

  I wake up with a bitching migraine and when I look around, I notice I’m in my own bed. I am no longer wearing the dress from the night before, but a long t-shirt, probably Mark’s since I don’t recognize it as my own. How the heck did he carry me up the stairs without waking me? Before I have a chance to go shower, my phone rings and I know it’s Bradley. I mull over letting it go to voicemail, but then I feel bad so I just answer.

  “Good morning Bradley.”

  “Good morning sweetheart. I hope I didn’t wake you.”

  “Nope I was awake. Actually I was on my way to take a shower, so maybe I can call you later?”

  “I promise not to keep you long. Last night I happened to overhear Amanda giving you the rest of the week off, so I was wondering if you would mind coming over tomorrow evening. I think it’s about time I had you meet some of my friends. Just a small group, I promise. What do you say?”

  Really what do you say to something like that? To someone who’s always nice to you? Do you tell them the truth and hurt their feelings, or just go with the freaking flow like Mona tells you?

  “That sounds like fun. I would love to,” I lie and marvel at how good I’m getting at this lying thing when it comes to Bradley.

  I hang up and sit on my bed, thinking over everything that has happened in the last few months. There’s so much to take in and I just wonder if I’ll ever feel that peace that Mona keeps talking about. All I feel is a constant tumult, making me question every decision I make.

  I walk in the bathroom and decide to have a long bath. I light some candles and the aroma fills the room. I slide into the hot soapy water, letting it cover me up to my neck and close my eyes. At least in this moment, all my problems are stashed away in a corner, no longer pulling me down.

  By the time I’m done, I feel much better. I pick up my kindle and go downstairs to get some coffee. What waits for me in the kitchen leaves me speechless.

  “I thought I’d make you breakfast for a change,” Mark says and he looks so cute wearing my apron, flour smearing his cheek.

  “Smells really good.”

  “Just sit down and I’ll bring you a cup of coffee. The food is almost done…just don’t look at the mess. I promise to clean it just the way you like.” There’s stuff all over. Plates, and cups, utensils. I try not to cringe and let my OCD ruin the fact that he did this for me.

  He moves around excitedly, bringing me coffee, flipping pancakes, and frying the eggs and bacon omelet. When the food is finally done, we enjoy it together. It feels so good being catered to.

  “Well, I have to say, this was better than I expected.”

  “Aww, thank you. I’m sure you’re just being nice since I could never cook like you. But thanks anyway.”

  I decide to help him clean up afterwards, and I can’t help myself from making fun at how much of a mess he’s made just to cook a few simple things.

  “So what are your plans for today, since you’re obviously not working,” he asks, putting away the last dish.

  “No plans. I’m exhausted and not just physically. I could sleep for a month.”

  I’m so happy he doesn’t bring up the night before because I don’t care to remember it. He gives me one of his quirky smiles.

  “Feel like watching some movies? Like old times?” Do I? Can it be like old times again? Not so sure since every time I look at him, all I can think of is having his lips on my, feeling his touch on my naked skin and wrapping my legs around his body. So old time? Yeah, definitely not the same. But I still say yes.

  We spend the entire day in the living room, the coffee table filled with Chinese takeout and several DVDs. It really doesn’t get better than this.

  I wake up in the middle of the night and see Mark asleep on the floor in an awkward position. For a second I wonder if I should just cover him and leave him there until morning. I touch his face and his hand grabs hold of my wrist, not letting go when I try to pull away.

  “What are you doing Mark?” I whisper. “Let me go.”

  “Stay with me Birdie.” If only it was that easy. This is not the first time he asks me to stay, yet never making it clear as to what he wants. I pull my hand again and this time he loosens his hold.

  “I can’t.”

  “You can’t or you won’t?” Why does he have to sound so sad? Does he even know what his asking me? Stay with him for how long? Doesn’t he understand that it would ruin years of friendship?

  “I’m going to my room. You do the same, unless you plan on sleeping on the floor the entire night.”

  He lets me go but makes no attempt to get up and i don’t wait to see if he’s going to sleep there or not.

  The next morning I skip breakfast and go shopping for an outfit to wear to Bradley’s dinner tonight. I make a quick stop at Starbucks before hitting the mall. As crazy as it sounds, I’ve never been much into shopping and can’t understand how some like to spend the entire day browsing from store to store.

  I walk past most of the stores, and finally decide on Macy’s since that’s pretty much the only place that’s not filled up to the rim with shoppers. It doesn’t take me long to find what I need. I hand over my credit card and try not to wince when I hear the total. When I’m done and happy with my purchases, I walk to the food court for a quick lunch.

  Mark is gone when I arrive home, so I go up to my room to get ready. Since this is the first time I get to meet any of Bradley’s friends, I want to make a good impression. I take my time straightening my hair until is shiny like silk falling down my back. The makeup is a little more problematic as I try to remember all the tips Mona has given me over the years. The dress I picked is black with a high sequin waist and silk chiffon overlay. Looking at myself in the mirror, I’m pretty pleased with the results.

  I take my time driving to his house, and the closer I
get the more nervous I feel. I park the car and walk up to the door on unsteady legs. I take a deep breath and ring the bell. Bradley opens the door and pulls me in his arms. From the look on his face, he is very happy to see me.

  “I am so glad you made it.”

  “Well I said I would, didn’t I?” I smile back.

  “I know, I just thought you would change your mind the last minute. Come on, let me introduce my gorgeous girlfriend to my friends.”

  There are several couples and a lone guy, whom Bradley introduces as Sam. They went to college together and have been friends ever since. The way they interact reminds me of the way I am with Mona. Everyone is really nice and dinner is very enjoyable. The conversation flows smoothly and I find I have so much in common with the girl sitting next to me.

  For the rest of the meal we talk about movies, her job, and before the dinner is over we end up exchanging phone numbers with the promise to meet for lunch soon. After dinner we move back to the living room for drinks and dessert. I’m really surprised that Bradley does most of the serving himself, and when I ask him about it he just tells me he decided to give his housekeeper the day off. Some of the guests ask for coffee, and Bradley decides to go make some, asking Sam to go help him. I offer to help, but he just gives me a quick kiss and tells me to relax and enjoy myself.

  All the wine I’ve had with dinner is getting to me and I go looking for the restroom. I could hear hushed voices coming from the kitchen and an uneasy feeling comes over me. I walk as quietly as I can, getting as close as possible to the door without being caught. The door is slightly open and so I peer inside. What lies ahead gives me the shock of a lifetime.. Bradley, my boyfriend, is hugging Sam. nd I don’t mean a friendly hug; I’m talking about a full blown ass grabbing type of hug. Sam’s hands are on Bradley’s hair and I know they are about to kiss.

  Not wanting to see more than I’ve already seen, I push away from the wall and rush to the restroom. How could I not know this? OhmyGod, what am I going to do? I return to the living room and, moments later, Bradley comes to sit by my side. The nauseating feeling is back and I pray I won’t end up throwing up on his rich rug in front of all his friends. I pull away without being too obvious. Eventually, when I can no longer stand it, I excuse myself—feigning a headache. It’s not that it bothers me what I’ve just seen. But I feel like a fool. Why would he go through with this charade and not just be honest with me? Did his friends know about his relationship with Sam? The bitter taste in my mouth is overwhelming and I can’t wait to get away.