Alaska Reunion

by Jennifer Snow

  And not just kinda well, passable or a decent first attempt, but really well. Why he’d hide a talent like this had been a mystery, but now that he’d opened up about his family, she understood. And it only angered her further that his father was the way he was. Callum should be able to be proud of his talents, pursue his dreams with support and encouragement.

  But if Mr. McKendrick had never given that to his wife, he’d never give it to his son.

  Ellie loved to read and she’d dabbled in poetry as a teen, but that’s where her lettering career ended. She’d always wished she had the talent, but her creative writing attempts all fell flat. But she could spot good writing, and her own difficulty with it only enhanced her respect for writers.

  She’d be lying if she said Callum’s talent wasn’t a huge turn-on for her. That week she’d peeled back more layers to him. His writing was just another element of vulnerability and trust that he’d shown, and it was sexy as hell.

  Not to mention he’d literally saved her life today.

  What the hell was she doing out here? She must be insane. What she really wanted was to be back in the cottage with him.

  “Hey, what are you doing out here by yourself?” Brent’s voice on the trail behind her made her stomach twist. She’d needed some time to clear her head. Put distance between her and Callum to sort out the thoughts and emotions she was struggling with. Seeing Brent now that she’d just that instant sorta, kinda figured things out only made everything confusing again.

  Was fate trying to tell her something?

  “Just thought I’d go for a walk,” she said with a forced smile. Damn, she should be happy to see him. Be thrilled for some time alone with him, but his presence was just frustrating right now. If that day’s accident hadn’t happened, would she be feeling this way? If Callum hadn’t admitted to having feelings for her, if she wasn’t starting to think she might return those feelings, would she be as conflicted?

  “Everything okay in paradise?” Brent asked, and she heard the jealousy he’d admitted to in his voice. As if he wasn’t even attempting to hide it anymore.

  “Yeah, of course...” Maybe too okay.

  “I understand if Callum’s still pissed. I would be too if someone put your safety at risk,” he said, his remorse evident.

  “He’ll come around.” She glanced back down the trail toward the cottages.

  “Do you mind if I join you?” he asked.

  She hesitated. She’d been planning on heading back... But maybe this was what she needed to put things back into perspective. Spending time with Brent, reminding herself that he was the one she’d always had feelings for. Comparing how she felt with him to how she felt with Callum might help give her the clarity she was seeking. Help her figure out if this newfound attraction to Callum was real or simply the result of the whirlwind of emotions she’d spiraled through that day. “Sure,” she said as they fell into step with one another.

  “So, crazy day, huh?” he asked.

  “It’s been...eventful. The whole week has actually.” In more ways than he could ever know.

  “All of this adventure stuff really isn’t your thing?”

  “Not really,” she said honestly. Didn’t he remember that about her? Should he remember every little detail of their relationship, the way she did? Or was she expecting too much?

  “I really am sorry about the boating accident. I can’t possibly apologize enough.” He shook his head and looked genuinely devastated. “I was an idiot, and I hope you know how bad I feel.”

  “It was a bad decision, that’s all.” One that could have cost them their lives.

  “I seem to make a lot of those,” he said regretfully. He paused on the trail and touched her arm.

  She stopped, and her heart raced seeing his conflicted, emotion-filled expression.

  “Seeing you again has brought up a lot of old feelings, Ellie.”

  She swallowed hard. For her too, but that week had also left her with a lot of questions about whether or not some things are best left in the past, if sometimes rose-colored glasses could truly block reality.

  “My life is fantastic, but I haven’t had a real connection with anyone since you,” Brent continued. “But I guess I’m too late.”

  His hazel eyes burned into hers, challenging her, questioning...

  Ellie’s chest tightened. All of this had gone on long enough. Things had gotten out of hand. She took a deep breath. “I have a confession to make.” Damn, this was harder than she’d expected. But she had to come clean. She had to tell him the truth. Especially now. “Callum and I aren’t engaged. We were never engaged.”

  He frowned, wrinkling the new bandages wrapped around his head. “What?”

  She studied her hands. “He pretended to be my boyfriend—my fiancé—to help me save face at the reunion.” Wow, it sounded so lame saying it out loud.

  “Why would you need that?” Brent looked genuinely confused.

  “Because everyone always expected bigger things from me. They all expected me to go on to teach and leave Wild River the way I always planned. But instead, ten years later, I’m still living in town, working the same job I’ve had since graduation.”

  “But you’re happy doing that, right?”

  “Most days...some days,” she said truthfully. “But it was more about feeling like my life didn’t measure up to everyone else’s. Look at you—a big-shot pilot, living your dream. Alisha wanted to be a nurse and she is. And Cheryl was always athletic, so it’s no surprise where she ended up. Everyone else just seemed to have it all figured out...”

  “So, you and Callum made up the relationship?” He still looked confused about that part and she couldn’t blame him. Making up a fake career might have made more sense. Why hadn’t she thought of that?

  Now came the truly pathetic confession. “I didn’t want to show up at the reunion alone when you were supposed to be there with a supermodel.”

  “Ah...” He was silent for a long moment. “So you...?”

  She nodded. “I may have been struggling with old feelings, as well.” She’d never admit for how long, but he deserved to know at least that much.

  He was silent as he stared at her for a long, increasingly awkward beat. The ground beneath her could open up and swallow her anytime now. Though, given the week she’d been having, she probably shouldn’t tempt fate.

  “Say something.” Even if he laughed at her, it would be better than this silence.

  He smiled and his shoulders sagged in visible relief. “This is the best news I’ve heard all week.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, really.” He reached for her hands and took them in his.

  She fought the unexpected urge to pull away.

  “Ellie, I’d like to get to know you again. Better. For real. Now that I know I don’t have to hide my feelings because you’re engaged,” he said, his smile growing even wider.

  She returned it, but her heart was conflicted. Why hadn’t she just come clean at the reunion? Or at the first night in the lodge? She could have shown up on her own and explained everything before things got complicated. Before her feelings for Callum had gotten twisted and complex. She and Brent could have gotten to know one another without the complications, without the games and the jealousy and competitiveness between the two men.

  This news should have had her heart soaring, but now things were different.

  “Do you really think after all this time apart, we could get back what we had?” It was a legitimate question. One she’d been desperate for an answer to.

  Brent squeezed her hands. “All I know is that I was the greatest version of myself when we were together. You brought out the best in me. Made me want things for myself. You gave me the strength and ambition to go after the future I wanted.”

  One that hadn’t included her. Could she simply just
forget about that? Blame it on the fact that they’d been young and first loves rarely last? “I don’t think I can take credit for all of that,” she said. Brent had been motivated and driven all on his own.

  “You can.” He lowered his head. “The thing is, I know I have a lot of work to do on myself, Ellie. I have some changes to make, and I could really use a friend through all of that. You were always such a steady rock for me.”

  So, he needed her again. Was that all it was? What happened when things turned around and he felt confident again? And could she really help him with his plan to get sober? How could she say no to someone who’d once meant everything to her when he was asking for help?

  “So, what do you say? Can we try again? I booked two weeks off, so I don’t need to head back to Anchorage for another week. I’d like to spend it with you when we get back to Wild River.”

  Why was this a tough decision? Brent was asking to spend more time with her. He wanted to give “them” another shot. Now as adults...

  Damn, this should be so easy. It was all she’d wanted for the last ten years. Why wasn’t the word yes coming from her lips?

  Callum’s touch, his kiss, his opening up that week, her own developing feelings were all too new, too sudden to jeopardize this opportunity with Brent. But could she risk what was happening with Callum? Could she disappoint him now that she knew his feelings for her went beyond friendship?

  “Ellie, you still with me?” Brent asked in her silence.

  Was she?

  Ellie reluctantly nodded, guilt wrapping around her conflicted heart. “Of course I’ll spend the week with you. I’d like that.” This was what she’d wanted. This was the goal. The thing she’d been waiting for since they’d broken up... The reason she’d gone along with Callum’s crazy idea and all the crap that week.

  So why was her stomach telling her it may not be what she wanted any longer.

  * * *

  ELLIE WAS GONE for a really long time.

  Callum paced the cottage and glanced out the window. She’d wanted time and space and he wanted to give her that, but she had had a near-death experience today, and he was starting to worry about her. It was getting dark and she could easily get turned around on these unfamiliar trails.

  Grabbing his sweater, he left the cottage and headed up to the lodge. Maybe she’d stopped in there on the way back. His cell phone rang as he approached the lodge, and glancing at the call display, he saw Sean’s number lighting up his phone.

  Shit.

  He sighed as he answered the call on the third ring. “Hey, man...”

  “Callum?”

  “Yeah, Sean?” Static filled the connection and his brother’s words came in choppy bursts. “Sean, I’m having trouble hearing you. I’m out of town still...bad reception.” He listened, but only more undecipherable words mixed with the static, before the call disconnected.

  Callum hit Redial on the number and moved higher up the trail. The call went straight to voice mail. He sighed and sent a quick text to him instead.

  Hey, man, bad reception. I’ll call you from the main lodge.

  Inside, he saw the group in the piano bar area and headed that way. Mitch sat at the piano playing some old rock song and the others belted out the lyrics. He was a fan of karaoke, but that evening, their off-key sing-along hurt his ears. Popping his head around the doorframe, he scanned the room for Ellie. He didn’t see her inside.

  Or Brent.

  “Hey, Callum! Join us!” Cheryl motioned him toward the piano, but he shook his head. He suspected copious amounts of alcohol had been consumed by the four of them, and he wanted no part of it.

  “Just wanted to see if Ellie was here,” he said.

  Alisha glanced at Nick, but he sipped his Scotch on the rocks, not saying anything. In fact, everyone avoided his gaze.

  Wonderful.

  “She went out for a walk about an hour ago,” he said.

  He didn’t need Alisha to confirm what he already knew. “Brent left about the same time,” she said almost sympathetically.

  Right. He shouldn’t be worried. She was with Brent.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  WALKING UP THE path to the cottage an hour later had to be what walking the green mile must feel like. She may not be on death row, but the moment she told Callum that she’d told Brent the truth and had agreed to spend time getting to know him again, it would definitely be the end of something.

  But what exactly? The budding feelings between them? The connection? Their friendship?

  Her chest hurt, but she couldn’t figure out the depths of the pain. Was she just sad because she knew telling Callum would most likely put their friendship at stake? Or was it more than that?

  After only a few days seeing her fake fiancé in this new light, it was impossible to know.

  She swallowed hard as she entered. In the dusk of the late evening, only the desk lamp illuminated the cottage, creating a warm and inviting glow inside, but Ellie almost shivered as a chill ran through her. This was not a conversation she was looking forward to, and a strange foreboding hung thick in the air.

  Callum sat at the desk, typing on his laptop. He held up a finger and typed a few more sentences quickly, then turned to her. “How was your walk?” he asked, a hopeful hesitancy in his voice.

  That made this so much worse. No doubt he was hoping that the walk would only solidify her emotions, help her realize there was a spark between them, realize maybe her feelings were far more than just friendship.

  Unfortunately, things were even more complicated.

  And seeing him only compounded the complexity. At first on the trail with Brent, she’d been still thinking about Callum, still wondering about the kiss and whether or not they should explore things further. Then the longer she was with Brent, talking and reminiscing about old times, and he’d started looking at her again with the same interest and affection that his gaze had held when they were teenagers so much in love, she’d started to feel as though the cloud over her emotions had lifted... Now she wasn’t so sure again.

  Damn it!

  “It was...um...okay,” she said, sitting on the chaise lounge and removing her running shoes.

  “You sure?”

  Shit. He knew something was up. She avoided his gaze. “Brent found me on the trail and walked with me for a bit.”

  “I thought you wanted to be alone.”

  “I did. I guess I wasn’t sure how to say no.” That was her problem with most things. She was incapable of disappointing people. She had a hard time saying no to anything, even if it meant jeopardizing her own happiness. She needed to get stronger in that regard.

  Right now, she needed the strength to tell Callum the news. Weirdly enough, it had been easier to tell Brent the truth than it was to tell Callum that she’d confessed. “I told him the truth. About us.” Blurting it out was the best way to say it.

  “You did?” Callum looked apprehensive as he studied her. “What did he say?”

  This was the really hard part. Disappointing Callum, hurting Callum, was not something she was eager to do. Especially after today and the moments they’d shared.

  Damn, why had she kissed him? Why had she let him kiss her? Why had she given him a sign that a confession of his own feelings would be a good thing, something she’d be open to hearing? She was there to connect with an old flame that week, not fall in love with her coworker. Allowing Callum to get close, playing with his emotions, using him to get to Brent had been unfair. Even if it had been his idea, she’d taken things way too far. This was on her.

  And yet, she wasn’t sure if she regretted getting close to him or if maybe she should continue to do so.

  What was wrong with her? It was as though she leaned toward the person standing in front of her at any given time and she was unable to trust in her own gut, her own feelings to know what was
real and what wasn’t.

  She took a deep breath. “He said he wanted the opportunity to get to know me again. He wants to spend the week with me once we get back to Wild River.”

  Callum’s face was neutral, and Ellie scanned it for any sign of how he might feel about what she’d said. He’d told her he was crazy about her, but...

  “What do you think about that?” she asked, feeling even more pathetic for asking. Why couldn’t she just make up her own mind? Go with what she wanted? She didn’t need Callum’s permission or his approval.

  But it was more than that. If he fought for her, would she reconsider?

  “I don’t think it matters what I think,” he said. “It matters what you think. Is that what you want?”

  Was it? It had been. But she wasn’t sure anymore. She’d always seen Callum as her coworker and friend. Nothing more. Now they’d gone and messed all that up by kissing and getting to know one another. She liked him a lot more than she did before... But Brent had been her one true love for so long. A few days with Callum couldn’t have changed all of that, right? She sighed. “I don’t know.”

  He looked slightly hopeful as he took a step closer. Those mesmerizing eyes were deep pools, drawing her in. Had she felt this pull out on the trail with Brent? Had there been this simmering chemistry and desire? An urge to kiss him?

  “I thought that was the point of all of this,” Callum said.

  “It was, but...” Was he pushing her toward Brent or testing her?

  “But what?”

  “Things got complicated.” Her irritation increased. This should be an easy decision. She wanted to be with Brent, didn’t she?

  Callum stared straight into her soul. “Things got real, you mean.”

  Was that what she meant? “How do I know this—” she gestured between them “—whatever we have happening between us...is real? It’s sudden and unexpected and maybe that’s all it is, just a temporary lust.”