To Have and to Hold (Cactus Creek Cowboys)

by Greenwood, Leigh

  “They’re keeping their horses to a walk,” Colby pointed out, “so they don’t mean to attack. Keep your weapons ready,” he called out to the others, “but keep them out of sight.”

  “What are you doing to do?” Naomi asked.

  “Find out what they want.”

  “Can you understand them?”

  “Enough. If you work in Indian country, understanding what they want goes a long way toward avoiding conflict.” Colby turned to Ethan. “Can you do something to quiet Cassie? She’s liable to set folks’ nerves on edge.”

  “I’ll try.”

  “She’s lost her family to Indians,” Naomi reminded Colby. “You can’t expect her not to be frightened.”

  “I understand, but she could make someone so nervous they’ll shoot one of these Indians. If that happens, they’ll come back with a war party and try to wipe us out.”

  “I’ll go,” Dr. Kessling offered. “If necessary, I’ll give her a sedative.”

  All the Indians were in plain sight now.

  “I’ll go meet them,” Colby said to Naomi.

  “If there is trouble, they’ll kill you first.”

  “I’ll be okay as long as no one shoots. I’m depending on you to make sure everybody remains calm.”

  Depend on her to make sure everyone remained calm! Her heart was in her throat. How could she calm the fears of anyone else? Suppose this was a trick to get them to relax, let down their guard. What if more Indians were waiting out of sight? They were staring hard at the wagons as though trying to see something out of sight. That made Naomi uneasy. What did they have that the Indians were so curious about?

  “Ben, run and tell everybody what Colby said. They’re not to shoot no matter what happens. If they do, they’ll kill Colby.”

  Ben took off like a shot, shouting his message as he sprinted past each wagon.

  “What’s Colby doing?”

  Norman Spencer had come up behind her. His rifle was leveled at the closest Indian who was sniffing the air.

  “Colby says there won’t be any trouble unless someone shoots one of these Indians. If they do, Colby says the Indians will come back determined to wipe us out.”

  “How can he know that?”

  “He’s lived in this part of the country his whole life. He said he could understand some of their language.”

  “How can a decent person understand their heathenish gibberish?”

  Naomi was surprised by how much Norman’s words offended her. “I suppose our language sounds like gibberish to them, or the French, the Germans, the Italians, the Span—”

  “What he’s doing is irresponsible. What will happen to us if they kill him?”

  Naomi turned away from Norman and looked to where Colby had come to a stop in front of the nearest Indian. The man was speaking to Colby, making expansive gestures, pointing in first one direction and then another. Most often, however, he pointed straight at Naomi’s wagon.

  “It looks like he’s asking Colby something about us,” she said. “He doesn’t seem upset, just curious.”

  Norman’s grip on his rifle tightened. “He’s probably trying to get close enough to see how many of us there are. Then they’ll come back and kill us.”

  Naomi didn’t answer because Colby was talking. She couldn’t understand anything he said, but he was pointing down their back trail.

  “What’s he saying?” Norman asked.

  Naomi didn’t bother to explain that she couldn’t understand what Colby was saying any more than Norman could. “He’ll tell us when he gets back.”

  “If he gets back.”

  Ben came running up, breathless with excitement. “I told everybody. I said I’d shoot them myself if they got Colby killed.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” Norman said.

  “Colby’s my friend,” Ben insisted. “I won’t let anybody hurt him.”

  Naomi didn’t bother to listen to Norman’s response. He was acting just as immature as Ben. With his bandaged face and black eye, he looked comical. Two more Indians came up to Colby. He lowered his rifle enough to indicate their back trail then added a sweeping motion to the north. Naomi didn’t know how he could appear so calm. He could have been talking to anybody.

  “Why’s he taking so long?” Norman asked.

  “It doesn’t matter how long he takes as long as it means all of us will be safe.”

  Only a short time had passed, but the tension made it seem longer. No one had told her Indians could be friendly. All she’d ever heard was that Indians were savages who wanted to kill all white people. The Indian attack two days ago had reinforced that lesson in a manner that was impossible to forget. She couldn’t convince herself that these men wouldn’t suddenly transform into maniacal killers like the ones who’d killed Abe and Toby.

  How could Colby find the courage to walk out there and talk to them like it was nothing out of the ordinary? What kind of man was he? She had underestimated him, but how could she have known? The leaders in Spencer’s Clearing had been Norman Spencer and Tom Hale. Next to Colby, they looked like mere imitations.

  The Indians had finished talking. They exchanged signals she didn’t understand. When Colby stepped back, the Indians turned and headed off to the northeast. Colby didn’t turn back to the wagons until the last Indian was out of sight.

  Norman Spencer didn’t wait for Colby to speak before he asked, “What did they want?”

  “Why did they keep pointing at us?” Naomi asked.

  “I’ve heard they like to capture white women,” Norman said. “They could have been pointing at you.”

  “Don’t let gossip cause you to make a dangerous mistake,” Colby said. “They were pointing at us because they were attracted by the smell of the steaks we’re all enjoying. They wanted to know where we found the buffalo. They’ve been hunting without success.”

  “What did you tell them?” Norman’s tone and expression indicated suspicion.

  “I told them we sent a hunting party north about ten miles back. It was only a small herd so it was easy to miss it. I also warned them about the Comanche war party.”

  “You warned Indians about Indians?”

  “Not all Indian tribes are friendly with each other. They don’t want to get killed any more than we do. Now everybody ought to get back to their food before it gets cold.” He suddenly smiled. “They also wanted to know if one of our women was having a baby. I don’t think they’ve ever heard a woman having hysterics.”

  Norman turned and stalked away. Everyone else returned to their wagons, but the mood wasn’t as lighthearted as before.

  “What’s wrong with Norman?” Colby asked Naomi as they returned to food that hadn’t completely gone cold.

  “He’s not used to having someone else know all the answers, especially when he doesn’t know most of the questions. Having his face smashed by Frank Oliver makes his pretensions look even more ridiculous.”

  Colby laughed. “You have a sharp tongue when you want to use it. How do I get on your good side?”

  “You ought to hear her when she gets mad at me,” Ben volunteered.

  Naomi felt herself grow warm. “You’re not on my bad side. I just had my reasons for questioning whether you should be our guide.”

  “At the time, it didn’t sound like a question to me. It seemed very definite.”

  “If it makes you feel any better, I no longer have any doubts about your knowledge of the trail or your ability to keep us out of trouble.”

  “But you still have the other objections?”

  How did she answer that? She had passed the point of merely finding him attractive. In a remarkably short time, she’d come to admire him, be intrigued by him, want to know more about him. He seemed to have a solution for every problem. Nothing threw him off stride, not even when she refused to go back t
o her wagon during the rainstorm. He’d simply picked her up and taken her there. She could still remember the strength of his arms, the heat from his body despite the cold rain and fierce wind. How could she regain her peace of mind as long as he was around?

  The army uniform still worried her. She didn’t know the real reason they had had to leave Spencer’s Clearing, but she was certain it had something to do with the Union Army. Someone in their small community had done something that had put everybody else in danger. She couldn’t discount the possibility that Colby had been sent by the Union Army to discover who’d committed the crime. It had to be something truly dreadful to force all twelve families to leave their homes and livelihoods behind and start for the newly formed Arizona Territory, which they knew nothing about. At least three families were still bitter. She didn’t know if that wound would ever heal.

  “I admit it’s unfair,” Naomi said, “but I’m not going to explain my objections.”

  “Do others share your concerns?”

  “I expect so, but they’re too afraid of being abandoned to say so.”

  “But you aren’t afraid of being abandoned.”

  “Of course I am. I think we ought to go back. We shouldn’t have left in the first place.”

  “Why did you leave?”

  There was no way around this question. Either she could ignore it, or she could answer him truthfully. “I don’t know, but I’m sure it’s not the reason I was given.”

  “It’s no use asking Dad or Ethan,” Ben said. “Ethan doesn’t know and Dad won’t say.”

  “Is this about the person you’re afraid might be following you?” Colby asked Naomi.

  “Yes.”

  Ben lifted his gaze from his food long enough to state quite casually, “Naomi thinks it might be you.”

  Colby stared at Ben for a moment before slowly returning his gaze to Naomi. His eyes were stormy, his lips tightly compressed. “I told you I’m no longer in the army, that I’m wearing this uniform because I don’t have any other clothes, and that I’m not following you. Do you think I’m lying?”

  “Of course she doesn’t,” Ben said.

  “No one but your sister can answer that question.”

  He had reduced the issue to one simple question: did she believe he was telling the truth?

  Oddly enough she believed him despite being unable to get rid of her fears. “I’m sure you would lie if you thought it was necessary—”

  Ben didn’t let her finish. “Everybody does that.”

  “—but I don’t think you’ve lied to us…or to me.”

  Colby’s grim expression gradually relaxed. “A fair evaluation.”

  “I don’t see anything so special about that,” Ben observed. “Can I ride next to you tomorrow?”

  ***

  “I don’t know how to ride a horse,” Naomi told Colby the next morning. “I wouldn’t know how to get on one.”

  Colby looked at Naomi in disbelief. “You’ve never even been on a horse?”

  “There was no need. If something wasn’t in walking distance, one of the men would go after it. If I had to go a long distance, I’d go in the wagon or a buggy.”

  Coming to a decision, Colby said, “Leave the driving to Ben. You have to go with me.”

  “That’s boring,” Ben complained. “Those dumb old oxen don’t need me to tell them to follow the wagon in front of them.”

  “Well it’s not fair to make Naomi do all the boring jobs.”

  “How about Ethan?”

  “He’s helping Norman with Cassie and her baby. Do you want to change with him?”

  Ben showed a typical twelve-year-old’s horror at having anything to do with a young mother and her baby. “I’ll drive today, but I want to ride tomorrow.”

  “That depends on how Naomi’s riding lessons go. Out here a woman has to know how to ride. Her life could depend on it.”

  Ben made a disgusted sound but didn’t argue. “I guess I’d better see to the oxen,” he said. “A man’s got to be sure his team’s harnessed good and proper.” He strode away with a swagger that brought a smile to Naomi’s lips.

  “He seems an easygoing boy,” Colby said.

  “Most of the time. It’s not really necessary that I know how to ride,” she insisted. “One of the boys is always around.”

  “The boys will grow up and move away. You’ll get married and have your own family.”

  “Then my husband will do the riding for me.”

  “What if he’s injured? Or he’s away and one of the children gets sick?”

  “I’ll have a buggy or a wagon.”

  “Some of the country is too rough for either one.”

  “I expect I’ll live in town. I probably won’t need to ride at all.”

  Colby gave her an appraising look. “Are you afraid of horses?”

  “Of course not.”

  His eyebrows arched. “Are you afraid of me?”

  His question surprised her. “Why would I be afraid of you?”

  “I don’t know. That’s why I asked.”

  The breakfast dishes were wiped clean and everything put away. There was nothing to keep Naomi from looking at Colby when she answered. “I’d rather not spend a whole day with you. I don’t want to give people a reason to gossip.”

  “I spent half of yesterday riding next to Cassie with her making eyes at me. As far as I know, no one is gossiping about her.”

  “I’m the oldest unmarried woman in this train. That’s all the reason anyone needs to start a rumor.”

  “I’m surprised you’d let idle chatter keep you from doing something that might one day save your life. I thought you had more backbone than that.”

  Naomi knew he was goading her, but she couldn’t back down from the challenge. “I’ve never let gossip keep me from doing what I thought was right or important. If you think it’s essential that I know how to ride, then I’ll learn. I don’t have a horse, and I don’t have a sidesaddle. What are you going to do about that?”

  “You can use Ethan’s horse, but you don’t need a saddle. Indians never use one, and they’re the best horsemen I’ve ever seen.”

  Naomi bridled. “I hope you aren’t intending to teach me to ride like an Indian.”

  Colby chuckled. “I won’t. Now I have to make sure everybody is ready to move. I hope to make a long drive today.”

  Naomi watched him stride away. She had no idea why he insisted that she learn to ride. Mr. Greene had said the Arizona Territory was nearly empty except for the Spanish town of Tucson. Where would she be going in such a hurry if there were no towns or substantial settlements to look to for help?

  Then there was the matter of her attraction to Colby that continued to grow stronger. How could she risk spending several hours with him? She wasn’t sure it mattered. She was going to be in his company for at least twenty days. If she couldn’t survive a single afternoon with Colby, she’d never survive the next three weeks. Now was probably a good time to see what she was up against. If she failed, she could always volunteer to stay with Cassie for the rest of the trip.

  ***

  When Mr. Greene was leading the caravan, his wagon had always been first in line. Colby had announced that the wagon at the head of the line one day would move to the rear the next day. That way no wagon would be stuck at the end catching the dust stirred up by dozens of hooves or be the most exposed to a possible attack. Cassie’s wagon had led yesterday so the Kessling wagon was leading today. Having made sure that all the teams were properly harnessed, all the wagons ready for travel, and the horse for Naomi saddled and ready, Colby went in search of Ben.

  “Time to get started,” he told the boy. “Head to the right of that tree on the ridge ahead.”

  “Where are you going to be?”

  “I’ll be busy trying to teach N
aomi how to get on a horse and stay there. I’m depending on you to lead the caravan until I can take over.”

  Colby could practically see Ben swell with pride. He had no doubt the boy was capable of handling the three yokes of oxen, but his father would be walking alongside the lead pair just in case.

  Colby asked himself why he was so determined to overcome Naomi’s objections to him. It would be easier to do his job if he just forgot about her altogether. It bothered him that he didn’t know why he couldn’t. She was undeniably attractive, but so were Cassie and at least three other women in the train. She had made it abundantly clear she wasn’t interested in him, so was this a question of not being able to endure having a woman be indifferent to him? He’d never acted that way before. He’d always been the one who was indifferent. Why should that change now, and why with Naomi?

  There were many reasons why this was a bad idea, and they didn’t include that he didn’t believe in love, that he didn’t intend to get married, and that he was going to stay with the caravan only as far as La Junta. Yet here he was preparing to do something stupid. No, not preparing to do it. He’d insisted on it. Had he gone crazy? When he set out on this journey, all he’d wanted to do was visit his parents’ graves, then find a place where he could get lost for the rest of his life. He’d never planned to travel with anyone, much less guide a caravan. He’d felt obligated to help them, but his duty didn’t extend to teaching Naomi to ride. Yet he was inexplicably looking forward to the lesson. Some things didn’t have a reasonable explanation.

  Naomi watched the family wagon as it pulled away. “I hope you realize that asking Ben to lead the caravan has convinced him he’s only a step removed from taking over.”

  “I’m depending on your father to make sure he doesn’t steal my job.” A weak effort at humor to ease the tension, but why was he feeling tense? There was no attraction between them that wasn’t casual and therefore unexceptional. And if there had been, Naomi’s dislike of him would have stamped it out.

  “Don’t worry,” Naomi said. “Ethan will do that for you.” She eyed the horse with surprise. “Where did you get that sidesaddle?”

  “Norman brought one for his wife. He agreed to let me borrow it.”