Deadly Morsel: Rosewood Academy of Witches and Mages (Darkly Sweet Book 5)

by Juliann Whicker

  He studied me for a long time. “They go through cycles of amicability. They don’t usually lie on top of one another in hallways. As far as I know. I could be wrong.”

  I rolled my eyes and got off him. He used my momentum to roll on top of me, on the floor which was much less comfortable than the cool portable bed he’d set up, no, that wasn’t a portable bed, not with the four bedposts. I stared at the massiveness of it above us.

  “Zach, haven’t you heard of sleeping bags and air mattresses?”

  “No. What are they?”

  I elbowed him and he sort of shifted but not off me. “It’s massive. How did you get it there? Did you disassemble it and reassemble it last night? You must have been really bored.”

  “It’s called magic. I can summon beds.”

  I frowned at him. “I know, but after the tourney you just summoned feather mattresses and pillows. And a cat.” I pressed my face against his chest and inhaled the scent of Zach. “You never smell like chicken noodle soup anymore.”

  “Maybe you’ve given up the possibility of eating me.”

  I gnawed on his ribs. “Doubtful.”

  He got to his feet. He smoothed down his t-shirt and jeans like he cared how he looked. “You smell like engine grease. It’s actually really sexy.”

  I snorted. “Right. Sexy, that’s me.”

  He rolled his eyes. “You really did look more shockingly sensual in your outfit with the ripped side panels than what I put you in, although the boots…” He sighed. “Did you have to ruin the boots?”

  “They’re much better now.”

  “No, they’re not. Look. I’ll make a pair of boots for you according to your specs, but you have to promise not to burn them or rip them apart. After that, we have breakfast with my parents and you can meet my dad, then we’ll head back. Unless you want to burn down the island first.”

  He sounded almost hopeful. I stood up and ran my hands over my hair. There was no going through it.

  “Are you going to knock me out again?”

  “Only if you ask me to.”

  “Promise?”

  He held up a hand in some kind of oath which was not a mage oath, so completely worthless. I slapped his hand.

  “Awesome. I’ve always wanted to see you craft leather.”

  The simplicity of the finished outfit was a beautiful thing. Zach followed every order I gave him, only grunting when he had a difference of opinion. The boots were embellished with woodland animals, but so subtly it looked like an abstract pattern unless you looked closely. The entire thing was dark brown, not black, and the stretchy leggings were thick, durable, warm, and threaded with reinforced steel mesh magicked for lightness. I couldn’t keep my hands off and I was working with him, weaving the energy and the fibers of the long fitted vest with hooks and panels for holding various equipment I might need. The top had removable sleeves that were flame resistant and still as breathable as cotton. So nice.

  Zach paused as he tugged on my sleeve, checking for fit. He stared at the scars like he was memorizing them.

  “It’s a good texture,” I offered.

  He nodded, still staring.

  “Not that good.” I pulled away and he blinked at me then smiled.

  “I’m just trying to figure out what compounds caused that. It’s a good practice, to identify damage.”

  “You can trace different chemical compounds by scar patterns? Fascinating. There are so many layers to my scars. I’d think it was impossible, at least for anything other than the acid. Those are the fine divots spread evenly on top of everything.”

  “What kind of acid?”

  “Sulfuric. Maybe you should weave a glamour for me. It doesn’t go with Penny Macaroon Lane.”

  “I’ll do it on the plane.”

  I nodded and my stomach twisted. The plane. That was going to be miserable. Maybe I’d have him knock me out after all.

  Breakfast with Zach’s parents was lovely. We sat on the large patio overlooking the pristine golf course. Zach’s dad wore a suit with a polka dot tie and Zach’s mother that orange sweater.

  I sat down on the fancy glass and metal chair, Zach pulling it out for me like he was a gentleman. He shot me a sharp smile when I raised my eyebrow at him. Whatever. Breakfast was lobster.

  I smiled at Zach and started eating. On my third lobster, Mr. Stoneburrow cleared his throat and wiped his mouth with his napkin. He had delicate lips, soft like Zach’s.

  “You want to have the wedding in Fairfield?”

  I nodded and kept chewing while he stared at me like nodding wasn’t enough. I finished that bite and wiped my own mouth primly before folding my napkin on my lap. “Yes. I want it in Fairfield which is warded for protection, and I want it at the church.”

  Mrs. Stoneburrow made a sound like a scalded cat. “A church? Why on earth?”

  “Darksiders have a difficult time in human churches, isn’t that true?”

  Everyone stared at me until Zach sighed. “Yes. That’s why Daysiders have a hard time in churches.”

  “But you won’t combust or anything. Probably.” I shot him a grin.

  He sighed. “It will be a very short ceremony.”

  “That’s fine with me.”

  “You wish to have a traditional wedding when you’re in love with another mage?” Mr. Stoneburrow asked with his eyebrows lowered, making his eyes a bit stonier. Stony eyes that burrowed into you.

  I licked my lips and raised my chin a tiny bit. “I wish to have a traditional marriage in every way. I will not be disloyal to your son.”

  He sat back. “You say that, but have you even kissed him? You have a lot of strength, will, I can tell that from here, but you can’t fight yourself.”

  He had no idea how many selves I fought regularly.

  Mrs. Stoneburrow placed a hand on his sleeve, not touching his skin but he stilled anyway. “Darling, would you suggest they demonstrate their possible attraction in the immensely romantic atmosphere of being observed by his parents and the occupants of the golf course?”

  He sniffed and then pulled out a handkerchief and blew his nose, successfully taking his arm away from her grip. I sort of liked her. I hadn’t expected that.

  “I love your sweater. What is it made out of?” I asked after we’d sat in silence for a few more minutes.

  She waited until she’d neatly sliced a bit of lobster chewed, then swallowed with a gulp of lemon water. “Cat. Zachary had a cat he adored. Spent hours petting it, imbuing it with the most delicious energy.”

  My stomach dropped and kept falling and falling and falling. I glanced at Zach. He gave me a sharp smile that was like a dagger in my chest. I stood up, shoved his chair back and straddled him. I kissed him, gripping his head like he was going to escape. I kissed him like I’d kissed Signore’s brother, taking his pain out of him, as much as I could hold, but what I tasted wasn’t pain, it was sweet, light and lovely. It was love and he’d give me as much of it as I could take.

  I pulled away breathless and feeling so many things, mostly betrayed. How could he give me love instead of pain? He stood up, arms around me so I didn’t fall to the ground.

  He nodded at his parents. “Thank you for breakfast. As you can see, father, it’ll be a long and traditional marriage.”

  I stared at Zach as he led me away from them, my heart pounding, floating, aching in my chest.

  “You’re a dangerous mage.”

  He laughed and kissed my hand, teeth pressing into my skin. “What other kind would you play with?”

  Chapter 19

  Mage

  When I stepped Throughside to visit Revere and do something mysterious and spellmastery, he nodded at me, shoved a bucket of golf balls at me and started walking out into the yard surrounding Penny’s mother’s ragged house, carrying a bag of clubs.

  I followed him feeling sick and angry and sick and more angry.

  “I had a warning from Jasper about the next time we go into the past. They’re setting a trap.”


  “Naturally. How did Stoneburrow take the double marriage contract?”

  I shrugged and looped the bucket handle over my arm so I could juggle golf balls. “He didn’t seem particularly upset at the idea of an alliance with Huntsman and a marriage with Pitch’s hurter-maker.”

  “She makes an impression.”

  I glanced up at him. “Were you there?”

  He raised an eyebrow and I studied him while adding more and more balls. “The guy who kept the glue gun from exploding. That was you. Did she recognize you?”

  Revere shook his head. “Penny has no magic.”

  “But energy. Can’t she feel the difference?”

  “Only if she focuses to the point of exhaustion. You watched her too intently.”

  “I apologize, but what mage in his right mind wouldn’t look at her in that skirt with a glue gun?”

  “There was no glue.”

  “No, but there could have been. Exploding glue, vaporous glue, or generic glue, and you would never know until it was too late.”

  “You sound too affectionate.”

  “My apologies. She was completely ugly and dull, particularly when she kicked down Killer.”

  “You juggle well. Those are explosives.”

  I carefully stowed the twelve balls back into the bucket, frowning at him. He could have told me right away. He was waiting to see if I dropped one and blew something up. Me. It would be funny.

  “Where did she get all those scars?”

  “Most from Poppy. Some from her own experiments, some from her mother.”

  “What was Poppy’s problem?”

  “Full Darksider living in Dayside. She was as gentle with Penny as she knew how to be.”

  “Poppy was a full Darksider? How special.” That’s when Revere grabbed my arm and stepped Throughside with me. We came out on the top of a jagged cliff. A bubbling volcano was far below us, the only light in the otherwise black world. A castle rose on the other side of the magma gulf, towers crooked and twisting.

  “Now that’s a Darkside castle.”

  “She’s a renowned architect,” he said, shooting me a sidelong glance. He pulled out a good driver and took a few swings before he rammed a tee into the red rock and took one of the explosives, placing it lightly on top.

  I took another tee and a second driver, paced a good distance from Revere, planted my tee and put a ball on then shifted my grip on the handle of the club.

  Revere counted down. “Three, two, one. FORE!”

  We swung in unison. The golf balls floated over the burbling liquid rock and hit two windows. We were both excellent golfers.

  He smiled at me and we replaced our balls. We were running out of balls when the witches emerged from the building like a swarm of wasps.

  These weren’t Creagh; they were sorceresses. Lovely. I looked over at Revere. He studied them with his golf club on his shoulder. “Look handsome.”

  “Don’t I always?”

  Revere spelled his golf club a way he’d taught me but I hadn’t thought to apply to clubs. Idiotic of me. It was a spell reversal. Revere watched the witches come and when they cursed him, he’d catch the curse, transform it into something of various color and sparkle then hit it with his club so it flew back into the crowd of witches.

  I shook off the first curse to hit me before I followed suit. It was ridiculously relaxing to golf curses over the abyss of bubbling death.

  “Very good,” he said when they withdrew and stopped cursing us.

  After a conference the head witch came forward, floating over the magma. “What brings you past the Burning Lands?” Her voice was like lava, bubbling and deadly.

  Revere bowed to her like a courtly lord. “I bring my compliments. To get the upper hand of a deception sorcerer like Sooth is truly impressive.”

  She stared at him while her mouth pulled back to show her sharp teeth. At least they were white, as white as the volcano light could show. “What deception sorcerer?”

  Revere waved his hand and an image of Sooth appeared, smiling. “I believe he asked you to hold some debts for him.”

  “And you would steal those debts?”

  “Of course not. They were paid by this lad. He would claim the debts for himself. You see, he’s in love with Sooth’s daughter and wishes to gain some leverage. Such a difficult attempt, but his heart cannot be swayed.” Revere sighed heavily. So much emotion from the paragon of indifference.

  “Who will pay for our windows?”

  Revere frowned and snapped his fingers. The damage we’d done to her castle was repaired as the stone and glass melted back into place. He must have set a memory spell in the stone before we’d exploded it. Such a clever mage. That’s the kind of mage Penny expected. I’d have to tell Zach to get half-competent at rebuilding the stuff he destroyed.

  The female dropped to the cliff edge, volcano magma rising behind her in a whoosh, outlining her brilliantly.

  “Summon your father,” Revere said in a low voice.

  I stared at him before I sighed and summoned my dad. Seriously? He appeared in a swirl of green with golden sparkles, holding a book in one hand and a glass of brandy in the other.

  He raised an eyebrow at me, then from Revere to the woman threatening us with a lava bath. “I’m so sorry. I seem to be interrupting something.” He turned as if to go and the woman tittered.

  I shuddered then glared at Revere. This entire thing was so nonsensical, the sort of thing that made sense to Penny. Revere was as mad as her mother. And now my father was here.

  “I didn’t realize we would have such distinguished company,” the woman said, raising her hand so a nice flow of lava cut off my father’s escape.

  He turned and frowned at the woman. “No? I apologize. Have we met? Surely I would remember a woman of your exquisite grace and charm.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  The witch batted her eyelashes at him. “Would you care to stay in the dungeon for a spell?” She tittered again.

  His mustache twitched. Her reaction was immediate, big eyes and big sighs. The mustache was a work of seduction when it came to Darkside witches. How terrifying. I would have to tell Ian.

  “This gentleman is the mage that the deception sorcerer used to pay off the debts you held,” Revere said, gesturing at my father.

  My father nodded soberly like wasn’t that a shame. He was wearing a smoking jacket. Who wears that kind of thing? I needed one. Ten. Penny would love them. Would she like being kissed by a mustache? My chest ached and I growled at no one in particular, no, my father.

  “If you’d come in for a bite, I’m certain we could come to terms over this misunderstanding,” she purred while the magma popped.

  Revere stepped between her and my father. “I suggest a very fine French restaurant…” And with that he was setting my father up with a Darkside Sorceress. That was exactly what he needed.

  After they agreed to a time and place to ‘discuss things’ in Dayside, we all stepped Throughside, Revere disappearing and me accompanying my father back to Huntsman Manor. I still had a few explosives in my bucket.

  I put them down on the fine hall table and glanced at my reflection in the mirror. A bit sooty.

  “That’s what you’ve been doing? I take it that was her stepfather.”

  I nodded and glanced at my father’s reflection where he stood at my shoulder. The picture of a broken mage pretending to be whole. “You’re going to have an enchanting evening.”

  He brushed lint off his smoking jacket. “I have an appointment the next evening with Madame Pennmore. I will prefer the sorceress.”

  I shuddered at the thought of Wit’s mom. “If you marry her, I’ll disown you.”

  He laughed, sharp and rich. “I’ll disown me. I suggest you go back into Darkside tonight and spend some time with your troops. They seem to be getting a little unruly.”

  “Details.”

  He shrugged. “If they don’t have a specific paid battle to fight, which
we don’t have a great deal of right now with all of the fighting on the wrong side we were doing, they go for conquest.”

  “Conquest. Huntsman armies overthrowing mages without any provocation?”

  He shrugged. “There’s always provocation, but yes. You have to babysit your minions more closely.”

  I cursed but I lacked energy for it. That’s what you get when you have Darksiders swear fealty to you.

  “You should take Zachary with you. As your ally, this is exactly the sort of thing you should involve him in.”

  “He makes a mess.”

  “He needs to learn to make the right kinds of messes.”

  I ran a hand through my hair and turned to face him. “I don’t hate you as much as I did last week.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “I must be slipping.” He turned and headed to the study while I stepped Throughside then back into my bedroom. I texted Zach then someone knocked on my door.

  He came in without waiting for me to open the door. Ian wore black, had his hair spiked slightly and looked moderately clear-eyed. He didn’t look very golden and seductive. What had I been going to tell him? Right.

  “Darksider witches can’t resist mustaches.”

  “I’ll make a point not to grow one. Did you see the feed on the Penny Lane channel?”

  She’d just barely gotten back to Rosewood. How much could I have missed? With her, it could be anything. “Let’s see.”

  He frowned and shook his head. “I’m not sure you want to.”

  “Why is that?”

  “She kissed Zach.”

  My chest ached and for a moment everything went very dim and very green before Ian grabbed my shoulder and dug his claws into my skin until the pain brought me back.

  “Everyone is waiting to see your reaction.”

  I was going to tear out his throat. Zach’s, Ian’s, anyone who stood between myself and my witch. I took a deep shaky breath that tasted like ashes. “Perhaps I will withdraw my invitation to tonight’s festivities.”

  Just then Zach walked in the door. I had texted him. I stared at him. He stared back, face emotionless. He circled around me, watching me as he went to my cabinet and poured two drinks. He walked to me, handed me a glass then threw back his own, somehow keeping his eyes on me.