by Kate Eastham
17
‘It is as easy to put out a sick baby’s life as it is to put out the flame of a candle.’
Florence Nightingale
Dr McKendrick slipped quietly into the room, closely followed by Ada Houston and then Alice. He came straight to the baby and knelt down beside Maud. She made a move to get up but he motioned for her to stay put.
Maud heard Miss Merryweather behind her, murmuring, ‘Come on, Nurse Pacey, Nurse Sampson, let’s go over to the visitors’ room, give the baby some air and the doctor some space. See what we can do for the father, he must be beside himself with worry.’
Eddy rested a hand on Maud’s shoulder before she made her way out. ‘I’m going to go to the lying-in ward,’ she said. ‘See if I can find a mother who’ll express some milk for the baby.’
Maud nodded and mouthed, ‘Thank you.’
‘She is definitely feverish,’ reported Dr McKendrick as he gently passed a hand over her body. ‘Her colour isn’t good, and her fontanelle is slightly sunken. And her mouth,’ he said, inserting a finger and peering into it, ‘I can’t really see in this light, but she has some white furring of the tongue, I think … Now I’ll just listen to her chest.’
Maud and Ada waited in the silence of the room as McKendrick used his stethoscope on the impossibly small chest. He moved it gently over the baby’s ribs, from one side to the other, his eyes focused on nothing. Just listening.
‘Can you turn her on to her side, please, Nurse Linklater?’ he asked gently. ‘So that I can listen at the back.’
Maud placed one hand on the baby’s delicate shoulder and another on her hip and rolled her, ever so carefully, on to her side, keeping the tiny body in the correct position for Dr McKendrick.
It seemed to take for ever before he removed the stethoscope from his ears and sat back on his heels. ‘There is definitely some congestion of the chest,’ he said quietly, looking directly at Maud. ‘And I think there is every possibility that she could have pneumonia … and in that case, the outcome will almost certainly be the worst.’
Maud pressed a hand to her heart. ‘Is there nothing that we can do?’
‘There might be something to be said for treating her with steam overnight, to try to loosen the chest, and sponging her to keep her cool. And we need to get some fluid into her – from a dropper at first, every ten minutes or so. She’ll need constant attention overnight, but it’s definitely worth fighting for her recovery.’
Maud was nodding now, feeling the beating of her heart, as she gazed down at the baby on the chaise longue. ‘My friend has gone to the lying-in ward to see if she can get some expressed milk,’ she said at last, forcing herself to think of practicalities.
‘Excellent idea,’ said Dr McKendrick, getting up from his knees. ‘Try her with boiled, cooled water first. But she will have to take the milk as well if she is to survive. And I tell you what, Maud, being here with you nurses will give this little girl the best possible chance of survival. There is nothing more that could be done for her.’ He glanced back down at the body of the baby, lying pale in the lamplight. ‘What is her name?’
‘Flora,’ murmured Maud, reaching out to take the baby’s tiny hand again.
‘And the father, I believe he’s waiting …’
‘Yes, he’s Harry Donahue,’ said Maud, feeling a knot in her chest when she uttered his name. ‘He’s in the visitors’ room, opposite.’
Dr McKendrick nodded. ‘I’ll go and have a word with him.’ Then he murmured a few words to Ada before he left the room.
Maud took a deep breath and stood up. ‘We need to get organized,’ she said.
‘Yes, we do,’ said Ada, placing a hand on Maud’s arm. ‘I don’t know for sure, but I’m thinking that this friend of yours, Harry, the father of the baby, is your husband?’
Maud’s heart skipped a beat.
‘Yes, he is,’ nodded Maud, miserably, feeling the knot in her chest tighten a little further. ‘It seems the baby’s been abandoned by her mother.’
‘Right, I see. Well, we have work to do here, so there’s no time to go into the matter right now, but all of this must be very painful for you, Maud. Do you want me to take over the baby’s care?’
‘No,’ said Maud, very sure of herself. ‘I want to do this.’
‘That’s all I need to know,’ said Ada. ‘Now, I’ll liaise with Miss Merryweather and give her all the information. I think the best thing would be to put the baby into the empty nurses’ sick bay overnight. I’ll find a steam kettle and all that you need, and I’ll ask Dolly to light the fire in there. You stay in here with her until we’re ready.’
‘Righto,’ said Maud, stooping over to wrap Flora loosely in the shawl. And then she scooped her up and carried her over to the straight-backed chair beside Miss Merryweather’s desk.
She was gazing at Flora’s face, and monitoring every single breath that she took, when Harry came through the door.
‘The doctor told me everything,’ he said, his voice broken. ‘Oh, Maud. Is she going to be all right?’ he gasped, sinking to his knees.
‘We don’t know yet,’ she said gently, moved to tears, despite everything that he had done, because of the love that he showed so openly for his daughter.
Maud could only watch as Harry ran his roughened finger gently down the pale skin of the baby’s cheek. That one simple gesture made her heart clench with pain. She knew that there was every chance that it might be the last time he saw his daughter. He looked up at her then and his eyes filled with tears.
‘I’m sorry about this, Maud. So sorry.’
‘There’s no need to talk about that,’ she murmured. ‘Right now, what we need to consider is the life of this child. I need you to stay strong for her, Harry, do you understand?’
He nodded and then stroked the back of Flora’s hand.
As Maud sat, she could hear the delicate rasp of Flora’s fragile breath and the heaving sobs that moved in and out of Harry’s chest as he tried to calm himself. Time seemed to go on for ever as the silence of the room unspooled around them.
Maud couldn’t bear it any longer. ‘Has she been baptized?’ she asked, to break the spell.
‘Yes, I got a priest that I know to do it. He didn’t ask any questions.’
‘That’s good. And do you know where Nancy’s gone?’
‘I have no idea.’
‘Whatever happened for her to walk out on her child?’ She glared at him now, unable to control the outrage in her voice.
She heard Harry take a ragged breath, and then he looked her in the eye.
‘Flora was unsettled all day, crying and crying, and not wanting her bottle. And then when I got back from seeing you here, at the hospital, as soon as I was in through the door, she thrust the baby at me. Flora was screaming by then. Screaming. And I could feel how hot her body was. “You take her,” she yelled, and then she picked up her bag and walked out. She wouldn’t even tell me where she was going. I thought that she’d maybe calm down and come back, but she hasn’t. I did get Flora to settle, though. I rocked her and rocked her on my knee, and I slept right by her so I could get up each time she whimpered. But all day today, things have got worse and then she seemed to just stop breathing. And now she won’t wake up …’ He was crying now, tears streaming down his face.
Maud couldn’t stay angry with a man who was so wretched and heartbroken. ‘We’ll do everything we can for her, Harry,’ she promised.
‘I know that,’ he sniffed, wiping his face on the sleeve of his jacket.
‘Harry, you need to go now, and you have to promise me that you’ll be all right. No going to the pub to drown your sorrows. This baby girl needs you. And I want you to come back here first thing in the morning. Do you understand?’
Harry nodded. He made a move to touch Maud’s arm but she drew away and switched all of her attention back to the baby.
‘Just go,’ she said firmly.
‘Goodbye, my precious baby girl,’ he murmured.
Maud felt him leave the room.
‘Come on, we’re all set,’ called Eddy, popping her head through the door. ‘And we’ve even got a crib and some napkins from the lying-in ward.’
Maud pulled the shawl straight and folded it expertly around the baby.
‘Can you manage her?’ asked Eddy.
‘Oh, yes,’ replied Maud.
The nurses’ sick room looked like a baby’s nursery when she walked in, and Maud was heartened to see the fire lit in the grate and the first gusts of steam emerging from the kettle.
‘This will do nicely,’ she said, laying Flora down in the crib. ‘I just need to change her napkin.’
‘I’ll do that,’ offered Eddy, already rolling up her sleeves. ‘We’ve worked out a rota … and you need to agree to this, Maud, there is no choice. I’ll take the first two-hour shift and then I’ll go back and get some sleep so that I’ll be fit for work tomorrow. You can do the second stint, and then Miss Houston will come in to take over until the early hours – she said she enjoys night shifts – and then you can come back first thing, hopefully having had some sleep. And when you need to go to work, Miss Merryweather will take over.’
‘Maybe, I should just stay with her, Eddy. I’ll be all right.’
Eddy was smiling and shaking her head. ‘You’ll be worn out by tomorrow, and you’ll be no good to anybody. We’re all nurses here, aren’t we? Let’s share it, so we can all keep fulfilling our duties as well as looking after Flora. It makes sense.’
Maud knew it made sense, but she couldn’t quite believe how bonded she felt to the baby already.
‘You are the special one for her, though, Maud. We can all see that. And if there’s any change overnight, or at any time of day, then we’ll come to get you straight away.’
Maud was nodding now, and then she leant over the crib and stroked the baby’s cheek. ‘I’ll see you in two hours,’ she murmured.
When Maud returned, after forcing herself to eat a bit of food and treadling the sewing machine to produce a stack of bandages and compresses, she found Eddy in a room full of steam.
‘How is she?’
‘Just the same,’ murmured Eddy, cradling Flora as she tried to give her some water, one drop at a time.
‘She does seem to be swallowing some of it.’
‘Did you manage to get some mother’s milk from the lying-in ward?’
‘They’ll bring it in the morning, so it’s fresh. I knew there’d not be much change overnight, so I thought that was best. We need to start her with clear fluids.’
‘Thanks for doing this, Eddy,’ said Maud, seeing the concentration on her friend’s face as she sat in the chair giving Flora water, her hair now a mass of curls due to the humidity in the room.
‘No trouble at all.’ Eddy smiled, looking up for a moment. ‘I’d do this for any sick child, but this little scrap just happens to be the bonniest baby girl I’ve ever seen in my life.’
‘She is beautiful, isn’t she, Eddy?’
‘She is indeed,’ replied Eddy, standing up to pass Flora over. ‘And she has taken some water, but it’s not enough, so keep trying her every ten minutes. I’ll put some more coal on and fill the steam kettle before I go, and you’ll need to keep sponging her with cool water – she’s still running a fever.’
‘Righto,’ said Maud, placing the baby gently back in her crib. ‘Leave that to me,’ she said, taking the coal tongs out of Eddy’s hand. ‘And I can fill the steam kettle. You look tired, get yourself home to bed.’
Eddy yawned and then gave Maud a hug before pulling on her nurse’s cape. ‘Miss Houston will be in for the night shift. And then you come back in the morning, if you have time, before you go to work.’
‘I’m always up early, I’ll have time.’
‘Oh and Miss Merryweather’s arranged for you to have a half day tomorrow, so that you can do the afternoon shift. Is that all right?’
‘Yes, of course,’ said Maud, knowing as Eddy gave her a kiss on the cheek and clicked the door to behind her that, given the choice, she would have sat with the baby through all the watches of the day and the night.
Once Maud was alone, with only the lamplight and the flickering of the fire to keep her company, she rested back in the chair beside the baby’s crib. She couldn’t take her eyes off the baby girl as her tiny chest rose and fell and her body lay completely still. She leant forward to gently place the back of her hand against her body. She would sponge her with some cool water before the next round of drops – they had to try and keep the fever at bay.
Gusts of fresh steam were starting to emerge from the newly filled steam kettle as Maud took Flora in her arms to administer the drops of water. She swallowed the first, but the second dribbled out of her mouth. Maud stood up with her and rocked her from side to side, starting to quietly sing the words of a lullaby that she must have remembered from her mother – certainly her grandmother had never sung songs to her.
The words came out naturally, as if from nowhere.
As she sang, she gazed at Flora’s dark hair, the perfect lines of her face, and the pattern of tiny blue veins on her closed eyelids. She felt that knot in her chest again and she sang a little louder to quell it, all the time gazing at the baby’s face and trying to hold back the voice in her head, telling her repeatedly, ‘This could have been your baby, your daughter.’
Maud sat back down again and tried one or two more drops of water and, to her relief, Flora took them. It still wasn’t enough; the clean napkin that Eddy had put on was still bone dry. Maud wanted to sigh and grind her teeth with anxiety, but she held it back. Instead, she made herself smile and she spoke to the baby soothingly, telling her made-up stories and singing all the songs that she could remember.
Then it was time to put her back in the crib and busy herself with preparations, before sitting in the chair by the fire for another ten minutes. The routine went on until there was a light tap on the door and Ada came in.
‘How’s she doing?’
Maud gave all the details, as Ada stood taking in every word.
‘Mmmm, so no real change as yet, but let’s just keep going,’ she said. ‘Now you go and get some rest.’
Maud nodded obediently.
‘And don’t forget, Maud, I’m here any time if you want to talk. I can’t even imagine what you’ve been going through in the last few days.’
‘Thank you,’ murmured Maud, ‘but all I seem to care about right now is Flora. I’ll be in to see her as soon as I wake up. And please let me know if there is any change either way overnight, I’m just down the corridor.’
‘I know which room,’ said Ada, ‘and I will. Have they told you about the arrangements for tomorrow?’
‘Yes, I’ll take over from Miss Merryweather when I leave the ward for my half day.’
Ada nodded. ‘Good night, then, Maud. Try to get as much sleep as you can. None of us can function properly if we don’t take our own rest.’
Maud still felt wide awake as she closed the door of her room behind her. She would have loved to have gone back to the sewing machine but the noise of the treadle would have had the whole building awake. Instead, she turned up the lamp to the full and took up her needle to sew in the loose threads on the bandages she’d made. She felt the strain on her eyes in the dim light but it was the only way she could stop herself from listening out for the cry of a baby.
In the end, she must have fallen asleep in the chair. She woke, fully dressed, with a crick in her neck and the needle still in her hand. She pushed it through the fabric then and went to lie on her bed, knowing that she should have followed Ada’s advice and gone to bed properly, but now it was too late.
Waking again, at her usual early time, she felt groggy. She undressed then and washed herself with the cold water in her bowl before dressing again and fixing her hair, pinning it back extra tight before placing her nurse’s cap square on her head. Taking the clean white apron that was neatly folded on her chest of drawers, she
fastened it tightly around her waist and then clicked open her door to make her way along to the sick bay.
She listened outside the door but there was no sound, so she knocked gently and went in.
‘Good morning,’ smiled Miss Houston, extremely bright-eyed for someone who’d sat up all night. ‘I hope you managed to get some sleep.’
‘How is she?’ asked Maud, going straight to the side of the crib.
‘No real change, but she has been taking a little more water, and I think her fever’s come down slightly. It’s a shame we can’t use the thermometers on babies, they’re just too big, so we need to rely on the old methods.’
Maud placed the back of her hand against Flora’s body. She nodded, ‘Yes, I agree … maybe slightly.’
‘But there’s still not enough movement, and no loosening of her chest. The longer this goes on, I’m afraid, the less likely it is that she will recover.’
Maud nodded grimly. ‘I’ll take over now, until Miss Merryweather comes,’ she offered.
‘All right then,’ said Ada, ‘I won’t argue. I need to catch up with some paperwork before I collapse into bed for a few hours.’
Maud nodded. She wanted to be left on her own with Flora. It seemed to be exactly what she needed.
‘What else can I do, beautiful girl?’ she murmured, as she stood by the crib after Ada had gone, gently stroking the dark hair that was so like Harry’s.
18
‘A few hours will do for baby, both in killing and curing it, what days will not do for a grown person.’
Florence Nightingale
Maud’s body felt heavy and she placed a cushion in the small of her back as she sat on the chair next to the crib. The fire was stoked, the steam kettle full, and she had just administered the drops of water, so there was nothing more to do just then.
