by Kate Eastham
He nodded, but he still looked stricken.
Maud rocked Flora from side to side until the coughing fit had subsided, and then she passed her over to him. It made her heart ache when she saw him settle the baby against his broad chest. Flora looked minute, with his muscular arm encircling her, but he held her with such delicacy, as if it was the most natural thing in the world for a man who’d once earned his living as a bare-knuckle fighter to be nursing a baby.
He was talking to his daughter now, the lilt of his voice sending shivers down Maud’s spine. She turned away and made herself busy, stripping the sheet from the crib, tidying up the pile of napkins and checking the expressed milk that stood ready on the side.
When she turned back, Harry had eased himself into the chair by the fire and he was rocking Flora gently from side to side. Maud didn’t know if she was imagining it or not, and it seemed almost miraculous, but since she’d handed her over, Flora’s breathing seemed to have calmed – and the rattle in her chest seemed to have improved, too. She’d even started to make little snuffly baby noises. Was it possible that simple contact with her own flesh and blood had instantly helped balance out what was going on in her tiny body?
Maud had no answers, and she didn’t really care. As long as Flora was improving, that was all that mattered.
‘You’re sounding better already, sweetness,’ murmured Harry.
And Maud could see that Flora was looking up at him, properly taking notice. And then he looked up at Maud with a broad smile and her heart jumped.
She looked away, she couldn’t let this happen. Not again, not after Nancy. The fire didn’t really need another lump of coal but she took up the tongs and placed one on there anyway. She checked the water in the steam kettle. She could feel him watching her.
Then Flora was coughing again, choking a little, and he stood up with her, rocking from side to side, whispering words of comfort. Maud knew that she couldn’t weaken; it was probably only a matter of time before Nancy showed up and he went trotting back to her. How could she ever trust him again after what had happened?
In due course, Miss Merryweather was at the door to tell Harry that his time was up. There was only so long that the presence of a man could be tolerated within the hallowed walls of the Nurses’ Home. In fact, apart from Dr McKendrick, Harry was probably the first man ever to set foot in the building since Dolly, the laundress, had taken over the repair and maintenance of the building from the hospital handyman.
Harry nodded and handed Flora back to Maud, so that she could feed her some of the milk from a spoon.
‘Thank you for letting me visit,’ he said, retrieving his sodden jacket from the back of the chair.
Miss Merryweather smiled.
He has a way with him, he has for sure, thought Maud, he can even charm the superintendent.
‘Come again, at the same time, tomorrow afternoon,’ offered Miss Merryweather, with another smile. ‘I think it’s very important that the baby spends some time with her father.’
Maud breathed a sigh when he’d gone. She didn’t even know if it was of relief, or the reawakening of some other feelings that she was desperately trying to keep at bay.
‘As long as you are getting better.’ She smiled at Flora, as she took yet another teaspoon of milk. ‘That’s all that matters for now.’
19
‘… I do so believe that every tear one sheds waters some good thing into life …’
Florence Nightingale
There was further improvement in Flora’s condition as the afternoon wore on. The bouts of coughing became less frequent and her chest was certainly sounding clearer. Maud even sent for more milk from the lying-in ward. Miss Merryweather had mentioned that she’d asked Dr McKendrick to visit when he had a chance, so that he could check Flora and listen again with his stethoscope. As Maud sat on the chair by the fire, with the baby sleeping quietly in the crib, she was expecting him at any moment.
The door clicked open and Maud stood up. She opened her mouth to welcome her colleague but then gave a small, startled cry. There stood Nancy Sellers, with a glint in her eyes and a nasty twist to her mouth.
Maud moved instinctively towards the crib. But Nancy was there before her, grabbing the baby, waking her up.
‘Put her back down,’ ordered Maud, both her hands balled into fists.
‘I think you’ll find that she is my property,’ sneered Nancy. ‘It’s a good job that I still have friends here at the hospital who keep me informed of what’s going on.’
Flora was crying now and starting to cough.
‘You walked out on her,’ spat Maud.
‘I told Harry where I was going. My father has been sick, I was going to look after him,’ snarled Nancy, tightening her grasp on the baby, almost squashing her against the stiff blue gown that she wore.
‘You did no such thing,’ shouted Maud. ‘Now put Flora back down.’
‘Who do you think you are? Just because you’ve adopted some ragtag boy from the workhouse, you think you have some right to other people’s children. You’ve always been above yourself, Maud, and now that you’ve come back from New York, you’re even more pathetic. Harry always wanted me, he only made do with you. It was me he wanted to come back for, you know it was.’
‘Nothing of the sort,’ retorted Maud, confident at least in the knowledge that Harry loved New York and he had only come back to Liverpool because they had received news of Miss Fairchild’s ill health.
She’d moved to stand with her back to the door, blocking Nancy’s way out of the room. If she wanted to take the baby she would have to fight her way past.
‘Stand aside,’ ordered Nancy, the baby whimpering now as she held her clumsily against the smooth fabric of her gown.
‘No,’ said Maud with force.
Nancy grabbed Maud’s arm and dug in her nails as she tried to pull her out of the way. The baby was screaming now. Maud stood firm, keeping her at bay.
Nancy let go of Maud momentarily and then swiped back with force, scraping a stinging line of scratches down the soft flesh on the inside of her forearm. Maud yelped with pain and grabbed her arm, off balance long enough for Nancy to push with her shoulder and almost get past her, with the baby dangling in one arm. Maud growled with rage and threw herself back in front of the door, setting her feet wide apart so she wouldn’t be thrown off balance again. She heard Flora start to cough, and then the baby slipped down through Nancy’s arm and almost fell to the floor. Nancy hauled her back up, holding her tightly against her blue gown, and then she leant right in, face to face. Maud could smell her cheap scent and see the smeared paint on her lips.
Maud stood firm, her breath coming in quick pants. She was acutely aware that Flora had gone quiet.
‘Let me by,’ hissed Nancy.
‘Over my dead body,’ said Maud, without flinching, as the blood from the wound on her arm trickled down and dripped from her fingers.
Nancy’s face contorted and she tried to pull Maud out of the way once more, her fingers digging into her upper arm. Maud didn’t know what Nancy would do next. Most of all she feared for the safety of the baby, who had now stopped struggling in her mother’s arms. As Maud braced herself for a further assault, she heard a voice at the other side of the door, crying out, ‘Nurse Linklater? Are you all right?’ and she felt someone trying to open the door behind her. She took a step forward, pushing up against Nancy so that she had to step back also, and Miss Merryweather emerged into the room, closely followed by her sister, Elizabeth.
‘Nurse Sellers!’ spat Miss Merryweather, narrowing her eyes. ‘What is the meaning of this?’
Nancy adjusted the weight of the baby in her arms and tried to smile. ‘Oh, Miss Merryweather,’ she said, ‘Nurse Linklater has been looking after Flora for me.’
‘Nonsense!’ said Miss Merryweather, straight out. ‘You walked out on your child.’
The switch in Nancy’s demeanour was terrifying to witness. Instantly, she was glaring with c
ontempt. ‘This is my baby! And Nurse Linklater has stolen her!’
Flora started to wail, a thin noise, with little energy. Maud kept her eyes on the baby. All she wanted to do was to take her back, check her over and make sure that she was safe.
Miss Merryweather drew herself up and puffed out her chest, raising her voice so that she could be heard above the wailing baby. ‘I think you will find, Miss Sellers, that this baby is, according to the laws of the land, the property of her father, Harry. So unless you want me to call the police, I suggest that you put Flora back in the crib where her father has deemed that she be cared for until she recovers.’
Nancy’s mouth turned down in an ugly grimace. ‘Well, Superintendent,’ she sneered, ‘I bet you don’t know that our Miss prim and proper Nurse Linklater here is a married woman. She is, in fact, married to Harry.’
Maud gasped.
Miss Merryweather didn’t miss a beat, however. She looked Nancy in the eye and leant in to speak to her directly. ‘Of course I know that. But, as you are completely aware, Nurse Linklater is now separated from her husband. Therefore, she is once again a single woman. And she is, once more, living in the Nurses’ Home under my jurisdiction.’
Nancy reeled back, grinding her teeth with rage. ‘This is not the end, Linklater, I will see Harry, and he will tell you to hand my baby over,’ she hissed, thrusting Flora in Maud’s direction, before pushing her way past Miss Elizabeth who stood, wide-eyed and defenceless, in the doorway.
‘Is the baby all right, Nurse Linklater?’ asked Miss Merryweather, moving on effortlessly, as if the incident with Nancy Sellers had never even happened.
Maud nodded, tears stinging her eyes, as she rocked Flora from side to side, desperately trying to settle her.
‘And look at your arm, Nurse Linklater, you are bleeding. Did she do that?’
Maud nodded, reaching with her other hand to wipe the blood away. She didn’t care about the scratches, they didn’t matter. But Miss Elizabeth was already soaking the end of a towel in some cold water and Miss Merryweather was insisting that she hand over the baby.
‘Sit down,’ soothed Miss Elizabeth, pressing the cold compress to Maud’s arm. ‘The scratches are deep, they will need to be cleaned with iodine and dressed.’
Maud’s head was still spinning but she sat, as instructed, and held out her arm. The scratches stung when they were treated and as she gritted her teeth, Maud felt a fresh surge of anger strike through her body. She couldn’t deny that Nancy was Flora’s mother, and some might argue that she had every right to come and reclaim her child. But she had shown no regard for the safety or care of her daughter, so intent had she been on wresting back something that she saw as a possession. Maud thought it through, seeing again the vicious look on Nancy’s face and the moment when Flora nearly fell from her grasp. She was sure that she’d been right to fight for the child.
Once the bandage was applied, Maud was back on her feet, checking Flora. She looked over every inch of her and then stood gazing down at her as she lay in the crib. Where is this going to lead? she thought. Whatever will become of these feelings I have for a child that isn’t even mine?
‘I’m here for the evening shift!’ called Eddy from the door of the sick room, later that day. Then, as soon as she saw the bandage on Maud’s arm, ‘What the heck happened to you?’
Maud pressed her finger to her lips. She’d only just got Flora settled after a prolonged bout of coughing, and she wanted her to sleep. Seeing the concern on her friend’s face, Maud felt tears springing to her eyes and tried to smile. ‘I had a visit from Nancy.’
‘What?’ shouted Eddy. ‘And she did that?’
Maud motioned for Eddy to sit down on the chair by the fire. After she’d helped her out of her district nurse’s cape and hat, and found a safe place for her medical bag, she perched on a footstool next to her and started to tell her all that had happened.
‘I know you’ve ended up with war wounds, Maud,’ smiled Eddy, reaching out an arm to put around Maud’s shoulders, after she’d finished telling the story. ‘But you’re a hell of a fighter. And I would have loved to have seen Nancy’s face when Miss Merryweather told her about Harry having the legal rights. I mean, it certainly isn’t a fair rule, like all of the other laws that prejudice women. But in this case it really works in our favour, doesn’t it?’
‘It does,’ smiled Maud, but then a fleeting look crossed her face.
‘What?’ murmured Eddy.
‘Well, it’s just that … Harry has assured me that he has no feelings for Nancy and that he only moved in to live with her because he feared for Flora’s safety. But what if he does decide to take Flora and go back to live with her? What then?’
‘He won’t,’ said Eddy firmly. ‘I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Maud. How could he go back to her? She’s nothing.’
‘Yes, but have you seen the way he looks at Flora?’ murmured Maud. ‘He might do it for the baby, if he wants to try and make a proper family.’
‘Mmm, I see what you mean,’ said Eddy, continuing to ponder as she ran both hands through her hair till it stuck out at all angles.
But she didn’t seem to have an answer. And then Flora was coughing again, and Maud moved to settle her, whilst Eddy stoked the fire and filled the steam kettle, and no more was said.
By the time Alice called in on her way home, Flora was sleeping peacefully in her crib, and Maud and Eddy were back in front of the fire. Alice took a pillow and sat on the floor at the other side of Eddy. Once she had found a comfortable position, Maud and Eddy told the story of what had happened that afternoon.
‘He won’t go back to her, Maud. You’ve no need to worry on that score,’ said Alice. ‘But my concern is, now that Flora seems to be definitely on the mend, is he going to be able to look after her by himself?’
‘Yes,’ said Maud confidently. ‘I think he’ll take good care of her, he seems to love her with all his heart.’
‘I wasn’t really thinking along those lines, Maud. I’ve never seen a man who can do the basic care for a baby like he can. It’s just that, he will need to earn a living as well, and he won’t be able to take Flora with him when he goes about his business on the docks or, God forbid, takes to bare-knuckle fighting again.’
‘Ah, I see what you mean,’ said Maud. ‘I’ve been so busy, I hadn’t put much thought into any of that.’
‘Ha,’ blurted Eddy, ‘he’s a man. He might be thinking that you’ll go straight back to him, and you’ll look after the baby.’
Maud glanced from Eddy to Alice. ‘I hadn’t thought about that either. And I’ve been very careful not to give him any sign that I still …’
‘You still love him, though, don’t you?’ said Alice, quietly.
Maud blinked. ‘I don’t know. Only days ago, I could have strangled him with my bare hands, I hated him so much. Now there are moments when, I just don’t know. I’m still in shock, I think.’
‘Well, no wonder,’ added Alice. ‘After what he did. And with … her … as well.’
‘And that’s it, isn’t it? Could I ever trust him again?’
They were all silent for a few moments as Maud stared into the fire. Then she raised her head. ‘I don’t know what I think about anything any more. But one thing I do know is that I can’t give up my nursing. I have to work.’
They all sat for a while in easy companionship, a little sleepy in front of the fire, and then Alice stood up from the floor and stretched. ‘I need to get going,’ she said. ‘I don’t like walking through the city too late on my own, even in the district nurse’s uniform.’
‘You go as well, Maud,’ said Eddy, getting up to check the steam kettle. ‘I’m on shift now for two hours, so you go and have a break.’
‘If you’re sure?’ said Maud, glancing towards the crib to check Flora.
‘Go on, off you pop,’ said Eddy. ‘She’ll be as right as rain with Aunty Edwina.’
Maud linked Alice’s arm as they walked down the sto
ne stairs to the ground floor.
As they passed their old rooms, Alice smiled. ‘A lot’s happened, since we had our rooms there, hey, Maud? A lot in a very short time, when you think about it.’
‘I hope there aren’t going to be any more nasty surprises in store,’ murmured Maud, as they reached the ground floor and started to walk across the coloured tiles. Maud began to open the front door. ‘I’ve had quite enough for the time—’
‘What?’ said Alice, seeing Maud freeze.
‘Uh oh,’ murmured Alice, peering around Maud to find Harry waiting right at the bottom of the steps, with the dog next to him, both of them looking up expectantly.
‘I’ll leave you to it,’ Alice whispered, stepping by her. ‘Good luck.’
Maud stared down at Harry from her elevated position on the top step, with the warmth of her lamplit sanctuary behind her. He looked awful, she thought – unshaven, dishevelled, with lines of exhaustion on his face. It felt very different, being face to face with him out here in the open. The softening that she’d felt towards him when she’d seen him holding Flora was gone now. All she could feel was that hard lump deep inside her that had started to grow the moment she had seen him walk towards Nancy.
‘What do you want, Harry?’ she called down to him, her voice coming out unexpectedly strong.
The dog whined.
She saw the surprise in his eyes. He seemed to have been expecting the gentle version of Maud that he’d seen nursing his daughter.
‘How is Flora?’ he asked, shifting around from one foot to the other.
‘She is fine. And given that Nancy turned up this afternoon to try and force me to hand her over, that in itself is some kind of miracle.’
Maud saw no surprise on his face, and she knew instantly that Nancy must have been back to see him. She decided to keep quiet for the time being and see what his reaction would be.
He straightened up. ‘That’s what I wanted to see you about.’
