Blink of an Eye: Beginnings Series Book 8

by Jacqueline Druga

  “How can I help? Tell me.”

  “Frank has to tell you that. You can’t go after him for it. He has to come to you.” Robbie started playing again.

  “Is that why he started smoking, to help with his urges?”

  Robbie’s hand dropped with a hard strum of the guitar. “You know?”

  Ellen blew harshly from her lips. “How can I not. The house smells of it. He smells of it. I think it’s funny how when I bust him he always says it’s you.” Ellen laughed. “I just think that ...” She saw Robbie’s expression change. “What’s wrong?”

  Robbie lifted his head. “Hi, Frank.”

  Hoping Frank didn’t hear what they talked about, Ellen turned slowly to him. “Frank?”

  “What are you guys talking about?” Frank pulled up a chair.

  “Uh ...” Robbie shifted his eyes to Ellen. “We were talking about psycho Andrea.”

  Frank pointed. “That is why I came out.” He hid a snicker. “Andrea wants you to wash up for dinner, Robbie.”

  Robbie winced. “Aw, Frank. What is wrong with her?”

  Frank lifted his shoulders. “She wants to baby you. I think she finally broke.”

  Ellen shook her head. “You’re wrong. Andrea is just in love.”

  Both Frank and Robbie looked at her and asked at the same time, “With who?”

  “Who do you think?” Ellen asked them. “Joe.”

  A unison ‘no’ came from both brothers.

  “Yes.” Ellen nodded, lifting herself from the chair to peek toward the kitchen window. Andrea’s head bobbing along in the kitchen could be seen. “She’s in love with Joe.”

  Frank laughed. “I’d better forewarn my dad.”

  “We both ought to,” Robbie added.

  Ellen just rolled her eyes at them. “Are you two that dense? Joe doesn’t need forewarning. He knows. Why else are they sleeping together?”

  “Uh!” Frank shrieked and nearly fell from the chair when he sprang up. “My dad is not sleeping with that woman.”

  “Yes he is, all the time,” Ellen stated.

  Robbie stood and peeked toward the house. “Frank, tell her to quit lying.”

  “I’m not lying,” Ellen said. “You two would swim in jealousy if you knew how much sex your father ...”

  “No.” Frank held up his hands, holding back his head and closing his eyes. “Stop. Just ... just stop.”

  Ellen didn’t. “Andrea tells me about all sorts of things.”

  Robbie began to play his guitar louder. “I’m not listening.”

  Ellen spoke louder, “She is buzzing with feelings. And she goes on and on about what they do.”

  Frank’s eyes widened. “My father can’t.”

  “Your father does.” Ellen pointed with a smile. “According to Andrea, not only in the bed ...”

  Robbie stopped playing and ran past Ellen. “I’m out of here.”

  “Me too.”

  Ellen blocked Frank, instigating him. “But in the tub ...”

  “Stop.”

  “On the couch.”

  “I’m not sitting there again.”

  “On the dining room table.”

  “Forget dinner.” Frank held up his hands.

  “Frank.” Ellen pulled his arms down. “I’m kidding you.”

  “Oh thank God.” Frank ran his hand down his face. “I was starting to think that she was acting all weird because she was trying to be a mother to all of us. So she really is whacked?”

  “No.” Ellen shook her head. “She really is sleeping with your father.”

  “But you just said you were kidding.”

  “I was kidding about the dining room table, Frank.” Ellen snickered and opened the back door. “See you inside.”

  “Fuck.” Frank shook his head when Ellen left. “Andrea and my dad, man.” He reached to his chest pocket for a cigarette and stopped when Ellen poked her head back out the screen door.

  “Oh, Frank? Before you light that up, Robbie’s in the house.” She winked and went back in.

  Slowly Frank’s hand moved from that pocket as he stared at the back door. “Shit.” He took a moment to think, then reached to his pocket again for that cigarette. He figured since he couldn’t get away with blaming Robbie on this night, he’d smoke anyhow and use the time to figure out who else to blame when Ellen asked him about it.

  <><><><>

  There was something so great about the way Dean looked sitting on his bed. Ellen just had to take a moment to stare at him. Maybe it was the jeans he wore, those really faded ones. They fit him too, loose enough to hang just right. Barefoot, bare-chested, he sat on his bed, one leg brought up, his arm dangled over it, so deep in thought.

  “Ellen,” Dean called out, not raising his head at all, “what are you doing?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You started to come into the room and then you stopped.”

  “Wow, are you getting good at this blind thing.” Ellen walked into the bedroom and around to her side of the bed. “I was staring at you.”

  “Why?”

  “You really look cute, Dean.” She climbed on the bed. “Wanna fool around?”

  “Yes.”

  With a giggle, Ellen moved closer to Dean, running her hand down his stomach and to the button of his jeans.

  Dean grabbed her hand, stopping her. “But we can’t.”

  “Why?”

  “We have one more day of cowboy law. I value my life.”

  “He won’t know.” Ellen moved to kiss his neck.

  “I’ll know.”

  “Like you care.”

  “I kind of do,” Dean backed up some, “despite how much as I want to be with you.” He ran his hand down her face then spread his fingers to see her. “Can we just wait?”

  “OK.” Ellen moved away from him, fixed her pillow, and plopped back in a sitting position. “Quiet, huh?”

  “Usually is when there aren’t any kids.”

  “What were you thinking about? I know you were thinking. You get that ‘Dean look’ on your face.”

  “A ‘Dean look’?” He shook his head with snicker. “I was thinking about our work.”

  “Really? So was I.” Ellen rolled on her side. “All of our work. I was thinking just a little bit ago how much I miss working on all that stuff we put aside. Marcus, the cryo-babies, not to mention all the neat diseases we used to give the rabbits. All that work in the cryo-lab. I miss working down there too, Dean.”

  “I do too. When this virus scare is over, we will get right back to all of our research. Unfortunately, you still have a long wait.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “We have to dedicate all of our time on this virus for when and if they hit us with it. But by the date on that future note, we still have to January.” Dean sensed Ellen’s silence at that second. “What’s wrong?”

  “Well it’s just that ... it’s just that you know about the ripple thing. You read the note so you know how bringing you back, rippled everything.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well your death wasn’t the only one short lived.”

  “I know this. George’s was too, so you said.”

  “Yes.” Ellen nodded. “So the note that came from the future … came from a future without you and without George, right?”

  “Right.”

  “So the scientists, not George, released the virus on us.”

  “Correct.”

  “But George is around now, so how much of an impact or rush will that put on it all. It could very easily happen sooner. You know how impatient George is.”

  “I didn’t even think of that.” Dean’s head fell some. “On those lines, the lines of the virus, is where my thinking is tonight.”

  “What about it?” Ellen asked.

  “What if it hits? What if it hits our children? What can we do about it? My mind went racing to something you said on the dictation tape. You asked what we were going to do with the antiserum. Right no
w we have two doses,” Dean paused for a long time, “two adult doses. I can make four children’s doses out of them.”

  “And give them to four children.”

  “Not just four children, El.” Dean lifted his head. “Our four children.”

  “Dean ...”

  “No, hear me out. I know it’s wrong. I know it’s unethical. And I know that antiserum belongs to the community, but I swear to you, El, more important to me than anything are the kids. I love them. Our children. We know I’m immune and you are and so is Frank. Our four kids, not including Nick because he is immune too, can be made immune. We can give them what we have extra and we wouldn’t have to worry about them getting sick.”

  “But is it right?”

  “In which way?” Dean faced her to ask her, “Is it the right thing to do, using the antiserum for selfish reasons? No it isn’t. But, is it the right thing to do for us? Let’s face it, I’m not you. If something happens to one of my children, I won’t be able to handle it.”

  “Yes you could, Dean. God forbid something happens, you will find the strength.” Ellen closed her eyes tightly. “I have been there. I watched my children die, and it is a pain that I would never want to go through again. That is why I am working so hard on this virus with you so we don’t have to face that. And we won’t, Dean. I believe in you, and I believe in us as a team.” She clenched her fist. “For as much as I am a selfish person, I can’t do this with you. I can’t. It is not right that we cheat someone else merely because we hold the upper hand.”

  “Is this Ellen speaking?”

  “Unbelievably, yes it is. I love our children. God, do I love them. But like the last time, I will hold onto to faith that it will work. I have more confidence this time. I have more faith, because this time I have you.”

  “Ellen.” Dean reached out emotionally and pulled Ellen tightly to him, burying his face close to hers. He gripped her head to hold her to him, his fingers intertwined within her hair. “I get so scared.” His voice dropped to a rapid whisper, “So scared. So scared. We work with this thing so much that it has lost its impact on us. When I let myself think of the consequences, I freak. We’ve taken this as far as we can take it. We need to take it further. What if we can’t?”

  “We can.”

  “We’re so limited.”

  Dean’s hold on her was so desperate, so clenching, that he wouldn’t let go. “Do you think giving our children the antiserum will make it all better for you? For me? It will take one thing off our minds but it won’t make what may happen go away.”

  “But it will make it tolerable if something does happen.”

  “Oh, Dean.” Ellen pulled back from him, laying her hands on his face. “I wish I had the answers for you, I really do. Maybe I’m not seeing what you’re seeing. Maybe you and I shouldn’t be discussing this.”

  “Who else will we discuss it with?” Dean asked. “This affects both you and me. Who else?”

  Ellen kissed him softly. “Get a shirt on.”

  “Why?”

  “We’re walking to talk to the third person this decision will affect.”

  “Frank?”

  “Yes, Frank. I feel how much you want to do this. I feel it when you hold me that you’re scared, but if we talk to Frank, maybe he can help us. They are his kids too.”

  A certain amount of relief came to Dean with Ellen’s suggestion. Frank was hardheaded and sometimes the biggest asshole in Beginnings, but to Dean he was one other thing, a man who loved his children more than life. If Dean needed someone to side with him, whether Ellen knew it or not, she just picked the right person.

  <><><><>

  Cradled so comfortably in his father’s arms, Brian slept. As Frank swayed him, as he held him, Frank also watched Brian. His head secured under Frank’s huge hand, Brian’s face was pressed to Frank’s chest so tightly his mouth puckered. Both of Brian’s arms hung down and his legs no longer clenched securely to Frank like they had ten minutes earlier.

  There was something so peaceful—which Frank loved—about holding his sleeping child. How perfect Brian always looked to him. As Frank rocked him in the living room, looking at how big Brian was getting, he made that wish that every parent makes. He wished that he could give Brian that magic drug that could just keep him small forever, small enough to always look up to Frank, to be held, and to need Frank’s protection. Frank also wished at that moment for a less popular house. One knock and Danny walked in, something Henry told him he could do.

  Danny brought his finger to his lips whispering, “Sorry.”

  Frank shook his head. “You could scream right now and this kid won’t hear you. What’s up?”

  “Just heading back down stairs. Anyone there?”

  “Jason.”

  “Good.” Danny stopped in his walk across the living room. “Henry is not here?”

  “He was. He went to get some music or something for you guys to listen to. You aren’t going to be down there all night again, are you?”

  “If it’s up to Henry we will be,” Danny told him. “He’s wanting this badly.

  “I guess he wants Dean to see, really bad.”

  “No, he wants Ellen to see.”

  Frank laughed. “Danny.” He leaned a foot into him. “Ellen is not the one who’s blind.” Frank winked, just letting making Danny aware of that little fact.

  “I know that, Frank,” Danny laughed, “but he wants Ellen to see what he’s doing and he wants it so badly that he won’t even tell her what he’s doing for fear she’ll care less.”

  “El will care,” Frank told him. “I think Henry should give her a little more credit than that.”

  “Maybe you should tell him that.”

  “Maybe I will.” Frank kissed Brian.

  “Thanks.” Danny started to head to the kitchen.

  “Oh, Danny, make sure you guys sleep. All of you look bad.”

  “This I know.” Danny smiled and with the small box he held in his hand, he went to the basement.

  “Just me and you, Bri, and ...” Frank looked up at the door opening, “Henry.”

  Out of breath, Henry hurried and closed the door. “Hey, Frank. Is everyone here?”

  “Yep and why are you out of breath.”

  “I ran all the way here from the Social Hall.”

  “Why?”

  “I went there to get the music. Bev was there, she tried to talk to me.”

  “And you ran?” Frank asked.

  “I didn’t even speak to her, Frank. I ran out of there so quickly.” Henry took a deep breath to get his breathing back in synch. Running his hand over Brian’s head, Henry hurried by Frank. “I have lots of work to do. I won’t bother you.”

  “Henry, you bother me even when you’re across the street.”

  Henry, looking so upbeat, grinned at Frank. “That’s funny.”

  “It’s good to see you smile, Henry.”

  “Thanks, Frank.”

  “Oh and, Henry, it’ll be good not to see you at all too. Make sure you guys get the hell out of my basement sometime tomorrow, at least for fresh air. You’re looking all pale, all three of you, and I don’t want to start calling you the People Under the Stairs.”

  “Funny, Frank.” Henry waved and quickly ran into the kitchen.

  “I guess I’ll put you in bed, Bri.” Deciding to take Brian upstairs, then fill his evening with pestering the working crew on the floor under him, Frank carried Brian to bed.

  Gently he laid the baby in his crib and covered him with the sheet. He ran his hand down Brian’s face and leaned down to kiss him. “Love you.” Another kiss and Frank moved to the next crib kissing Nick. He made his way to Alexandra next, taking a second to laugh at how she slept, legs spread out, head back, and mouth open. Chuckling and kissing her, Frank covered her and made his way to the next bedroom to check on Joey and Billy.

  His nightly routine, one he did not only once but twice, of kissing the kids. As Frank pulled the covers over Joey before he lef
t the bedroom—he clenched his fist when he felt it hit his hand. It bothered Frank, and he knew the reason for it.

  Staring at his own fingers, Frank watched them do what they did every night at the same time—shake. Never in his entire life had his hands shook. He could easily stop them from shaking, but the way to make them stop was actually why they shook. “Just a little longer,” Frank spoke to himself, going downstairs. He could feel it hit him in his gut, the trembling there. He had fought it for two hours while he got the kids settled for the night. He had held Brian extra long, as a sense of support. But it was quiet now and there wasn’t anything more he could do about it.

  Walking to the kitchen, Frank grabbed a mug to pour himself some of the coffee he had just brewed. Grabbing the sugar, he saw his bottle of whiskey. Frank’s hand reached up to it then stopped. Just as he went to close the cupboard, he reopened it and grabbed that bottle pouring a shot’s worth into his coffee. Guilt hit Frank as he brought the mug to his lips to sip, closing his eyes as he brought the hot whiskey-laced beverage to his mouth.

  “Frank?” Ellen’s call echoed to him.

  “In here.” Frank leaned against the counter, reaching his foot out to shut the basement door. The last thing he wanted was for Ellen to leave because she knew Henry was there. “Hey.” He smiled when he saw her then lost the smile when Dean walked in behind her. “Aw, man, can’t you leave me alone, Dean. I know I’m your big hero and such.”

  “It’s not you, Frank,” Dean snapped back. “It’s El. I can’t leave her alone. You know that this week is coming to an end. I’ll be able to touch her tomorrow.”

  “Oh, Dean?” Frank held up his hand. “I’m flipping you off.”

  “El, why does he announce things that he is doing?”

  Ellen giggled. “Don’t be silly, Dean. It’s because you can’t see.” She ‘tsked’ and noticed the coffee. “Is that fresh, Frank?”

  “Yeah, coffee’s fresh. Want some?”

  “Yes. We need to talk to you. It’s important.”

  “OK, go in the living room, I’ll be right there. I’ll get it for you.”

  “Thanks.” Ellen smiled. “Come on, Dean.” Ellen grabbed his arm.

  “In a minute.”

  Waiting for Ellen to leave, Frank opened a cupboard for a mug. “Want some, Dean?”