Best Maid Plans

by Klaire, Jody

  Best Maid Plans

  Jody Klaire

  J K Publishing

  • jodyklaire.com •

  Copyright © 2017 Jody Klaire

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any means, electronic or mechanical, without permission in writing from the publisher/author.

  ISBN: 978-1-521511-84-8

  Cover design by Jody Klaire

  Other books by Jody Klaire

  Romance

  La Vie En Bleu

  Mystery/thriller/action-adventure

  The Above And Beyond Series:

  Book 1 – The Empath

  Book 2 – Blind Trust

  Book 3 – Untrained Eye

  Book 4 – Hindsight

  Free downloadable series

  The Whistleblower (online at jodyklaire.com)

  Praise For jody’s work

  Romance

  For Best Maid Plans

  “Charming and fun read for a summer's day; full of laugh out loud moments, Anglo-French passion and friendly shenanigans. Heartily recommended angst-free romcom!”

  Velvet Lounger – Lesbian Reading Room

  La Vie En Bleu

  “La Vie En Bleu is an absolutely lovely read.... A romantic comedy worthy of a Hollywood script. Definitely highly recommended for those who like a light-hearted romance.”

  Velvet Lounger – Lesbian Reading Room

  “This is a warm, funny and moving romantic comedy that examines what it’s like to try and get yourself back—and your one true love at the same time.”

  Tales of a librarian

  The Above & Beyond Series

  “Fast paced, sharp and very, very smart... promises to be a smash hit of a series.”

  SHE Magazine

  “The characters are rich and multi-layered, but there’s so much more to uncover about them.”

  Frivolous Views

  “I fell in love with her over the course of the novel, and when I finished, I wished I had my own Aeron.”

  Rainbow Awards

  “Delivered with incredible detail... Phenomenal.”

  Velvet Lounger – Lesbian Reading Room

  To:

  Sandra, Uncle Terry, Ollie and Hoodie who still shine smiles into my heart

  For:

  Em – Because you like a chuckle

  And

  To all who believe in love.

  Foreword

  I loved writing La Vie En Bleu and found that spending time with Pip and her friends gave me so much joy. Being in Pip’s head is ridiculous and I find myself chuckling along with her daft sense of humour. Best Maid Plans was supposed to have been just a short book but, as the idea grew, the story did and I am very thankful that I decided to keep working on it.

  It’s my first venture on my own but I have made every effort to produce the highest possible quality. It is a story about love and friendship, one I’ve packed with as much laughter as I could. I hope you enjoy spending time with Pip and her friends and thank you for giving me the chance to entertain you.

  Big Smiles,

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  It’s been some writing journey so far... but I am thankful to everyone who has shown their friendship and support to me whether mentioned by name or not.

  To you, the readers who have stuck with me and cheer me. I am very thankful that you continue to enjoy and keep with me whatever genre I’m throwing at you!

  Thank you to everyone online who has been supporting me including Gena, Dani and Karen. It’s lovely to know that you are cheering me on.

  To John Taylor, Katherine Hetzel, Debi Alper and all the cloudies, thank you for being there and continuing to offer me such warmth and friendship.

  To the GCLS where I have found some fantastic friends. The team at the Writing Academy: Liz, Beth, Joy, thank you for putting up with me!

  To Ann, Salem and Cheryl (and Lynn) thank you for your continued support and friendship, your patience and checking in on me! It makes a difference, it truly does.

  Thank you to Casey and Claudia for your continued support and smiles and for believing in my writing in the first place!

  Thank you to Emma Darwin for teaching me so much about writing and helping me to understand how to bring my prose to life. It’s a joy to learn from you.

  To Brie Burkeman for being very kind to a numbskull and planting the confidence and belief, the sound reasoning and the understanding that writing isn’t easy but it’s a joy.

  To Revd Sue, Mr. B, Moira, Ian, Fr. Mike and all the lovely people in the parish, thank you for guiding me and helping me see with faith.

  Thank you to Sue for beta-reading, cheering me on, amazing live readings and helping me see how I could make Pip sparkle. I appreciate your thoughts and I hope you can see I do listen...

  To Ian and Pat who help me to keep smiling. Now, Berne is benefiting too!

  To Sandra who I miss very much, you sneak in and make me smile which just reminds me how very cool it was to know you. Thank you for the smiles you shone my way and your friendship.

  Thank you to my family, those present and in the next room: mum especially who cheered me on and worked with me so hard when I started. Your love and your hugs are essential, and knowing daftness runs in the family is always helpful.

  To Em and Ferb: Seeming as you liked the first romance so much, thought you might like another. Okay, so Ferb doesn’t do a lot of beta reading but he gives “huggies” when needed. That counts. Thank you for being constant in your love of chocolate and walkies, your kindness to me and for the waggy tail when you see me (more Ferb than Em.) It’s been tough but hopefully some daftness from Pip will make you laugh as much as it does me.

  To THS: my lamp, my light, true restorative love. I am very blessed and very thankful that I feel you in my heart. I pray that with every word, thought and deed, I can shine with your love and your peace and that I may always be acceptable within your sight... Thank you for blessing me with stories and the love of writing.

  You are love, and for that, I am truly thankful.

  Jody Klaire

  June 2017

  “My command is this: love each other as I have loved you.”

  —John 15:12 [NIV]

  “It is very romantic to be in love... The very essence of romance is uncertainty.”

  —Oscar Wilde - The Importance of Being Earnest.

  Chapter 1

  She could render me helpless with a fleeting glance. I let myself linger enjoying the quickening beat of my heart. A breath-taking moment, a moment when I opened all to her and let myself be enraptured by the gentle smile dancing across her lips. Yes, France and Berne were one and the same: radiant beauty. Both were vivid and rich in spirit and joy.

  Ancient church spires to bright painted shutters against dusty stone, Ajoux Sur Rhône beat in my very core. A core which thumped stronger and heavier as I moved closer... closer. Berne’s deep eyes beckoned to me. She was France, and France was her. Blue pulsed through her very veins.

  Early summer heat covered her skin in shiny droplets of perspiration. They trailed downward from her chin, rolled over strong muscles, trickled over the nape of her long neck and down—

  "Pippa?"

  I snapped my eyes to Rebecca, feeling my cheeks prickle with a blush. “Yes?”

  Her auburn eyebrows dipped. They’d gotten blonder since we’d moved to France. “Were you listening to a word I said?”

  Had we been having a conversation? Oops. “Of course I was.”

  “Yeah sure.” Rebecca narrowed her eyes at me. We’d been best friends longer than was natural to most people. We’d also lived together since college. “So you know that you just agreed to a hot and steamy affair with me then?”

  “What, no—”


  Her crass laughter crinkled up her freckled nose. I picked up a cushion from my makeshift window-seat and flung it at her.

  It landed a foot from me.

  I threw like a girl.

  “Yes, well that put me in my place, didn’t it?” Rebecca fished out her disgusting crocodile loafer shoes—I’d tried, and failed, to misplace them when we’d relocated from London.

  “Where are you going?” I asked as she slumped onto the couch.

  “If you stop drooling over Miss France, I’ll tell you.”

  “Was not drooling.” I folded my arms, then yelped as the corner of the book I was holding dug into my ribs.

  “Babs is home today. I’m meeting her for lunch, remember?” She snapped the laces tight with a satisfied nod. “...and you were drooling.”

  “Was not.” It was good to see her happy. She’d fallen in love with Babs at the same time I’d rediscovered... well... that I liked France. “Is she home for long this time?”

  Rebecca huffed out a sigh. Babs was successful and travelled a lot with her work.

  “She’s been in Barbados.” She glared at her toes.

  Oh dear. She was still dwelling on that then. I kept my lips buttoned. Babs had been hired by a very rich woman. I didn’t know about Rebecca, but if that had been Berne, I may have resorted to incoherent mumbling in a corner.

  Rebecca sighed. “She never tells me what she’s doing half the time.”

  “She loves you.” Because that was going to help, wasn’t it, Saunders? “I mean, it’s her job. She would have been baking in the heat with a hard hat on yelling at sweaty men.”

  I hoped I sounded convincing. I didn’t have the foggiest what Babs did. She owned her business—I’d thought she designed bathrooms but, from snippets of overheard conversation, she might have been an architect. I wasn’t really sure. Maybe she was just a really bossy interior designer.

  “Pip, she’s loaded, gorgeous, I couldn’t blame her if...” Rebecca’s words trailed off as she glared at her shoe. She looked like she may smack it one any second.

  “She wouldn’t do that.” I was convinced of it. Babs was smitten.

  “All I can do is love her.” Rebecca polished the toe she’d been staring out. I couldn’t even look at the shoes. Babs had impeccable taste, why hadn’t she vetoed them? “I can’t even afford to buy her lunch.”

  “The wonder of being a kept woman. Wait until people start referring to you as Babs’s partner.” I smiled. I was only half-teasing. I’d spent eight years being “Doug’s girlfriend,” then “Doug’s fiancé,” or my favourite “are you Mrs Fletcher yet?”

  Rebecca picked up a cushion from beside her and hurled it at me. It smacked me on the shoulder and ricocheted off. The woman threw like one of those, well, thrower people.

  “I mean it, Pip, I really love her. I want to be equal to her, for her to be able to count on me.” She picked at the fluff on her t-shirt—It had some half naked woman on it.

  “Familiar line.” I raised my eyebrows until she grunted.

  She wandered over and dropped onto the seat next to me. “We need to stop being bums. We need to do something.”

  “Like?”

  She had a puppy dog look in her eyes. It always preceded a request I wouldn’t like. “Maybe Doug knows someone who can give us a place to start?”

  There it was.

  “I mean, it would only be a recommendation or something.” She must have caught sight of my scowl because she held her hands up. “Hey, it’s not renting you out by the hour.”

  Close to it. “I left Doug. I’m not crawling back to him or my father for help.”

  Rebecca looked out the window and a smutty grin spread across her face. “Oh... you were so drooling.” She groaned an exaggerated groan. “Wow, Pip, your woman can rock a vest and shorts like—”

  I kicked out to try and catch her shin. She moved. I hit the side cabinet and yelped.

  Oh little toe. Ow, Ow.

  She sniggered at me.

  “Stop trying to distract me and get back to why you want to grovel to Doug?” I rubbed at my throbbing toe. Ow, ow, ow.

  “What other options do we have?” She perched on the edge of the window-seat. “Local people hire local artisans and the ex-pat people already had their own network.”

  She was right—Not that I was admitting it. The ex-pats had taken one look at us and turned their noses up. They preferred sweaty men with beer bellies it seemed. “You just don’t want Babs thinking you’re a gold digger.”

  Rebecca dropped her head back and let out a grunt. “Yes, yes, I’m only concerned with concealing I’m after her gazillions...”

  Neither of us quite knew how well off Babs was. I always put her on a par with Doug, which made her rich but not super rich.

  Rebecca leaned her head to the wall and folded her tattooed arms across her bust. “How can I be who she needs if I can’t pull my weight?”

  “You’re dating, what weight is there to pull?” It was quite alarming how two women together wanted to cement everything in rather permanent fashion. “You’re still getting to know each other, let her spoil you.”

  Berne caught my eye and I turned. She wiped the sweat from her smooth brow. Her bronzed skin glistened. Her arms working hard, hands gripping the spade...

  “Drooling again.” Rebecca flicked my ear. “I’m going to buy you a drool box.” She shook her head with a pitying sigh. “It’s been nearly a year since you’ve been hu—”

  I covered her mouth with my hand. “Crass and disgusting.”

  She poked her tongue out.

  I squealed and snapped my hand away. Yuck.

  She chuckled at me. “So I can ask?”

  “Who, Berne? I think she knows.”

  She poked me. “No. Will you try and focus on something other than women for a second?”

  I held up my finger. “One woman.” It wasn’t my fault; Most people only had to look at Berne to be dribbling idiots, what chance had I stood?

  Rebecca rolled her eyes, making sure I saw her, and got to her feet.

  “Why wouldn’t Babs think you were equal. I mean, apart from the terrible dress sense, all the ink, and the luminous hair, why would she want anyone else?” I asked—Her hair was still bright blonde.

  She pointed down at herself. “I look good. I always look good. Jeans and a t-shirt are cool.”

  Rebecca didn’t get etiquette. I glanced out the window, to think, but Berne once again captured my attention. Only this time she was looking at me.

  I beamed at her in reflex. I couldn’t help it, it was either that or swoon.

  She cocked her head.

  My stomach wriggled.

  “You need to look sexy for a lunch date,” I mumbled.

  “You don’t think I do?” I heard the uncertainty in Rebecca’s voice and dropped my book in shock. Rebecca? Uncertain? About anything?

  She looked like she was going to a rugby match: tight jeans with designer rips in them. Women adored her. She had wiles and charm. “Of course you do. I mean that lunch with a lady should be smart-casual attire. You are aiming to make her want to stay around for dinner.”

  Rebecca put her hands on her hips. “Pip, she sleeps in my bed. I know she’s staying.”

  “I am saying that a long term relationship means you have to keep her wanting to.” I held up my finger. “In a respectful way.”

  Rebecca raised her unruly eyebrows. She’d never done long-term, ever, so I knew she was half-listening.

  “Did you ever see me go to lunch with Doug in jeans?” I raised my eyebrows. “Did you?”

  “Babs isn’t Doug.” She chewed on her lip. “That was different.”

  “Not really. Babs’s a classy woman. It shows you’re serious, that you respect her.” How did I put it? “That you respect her position.” I got up and took Rebecca to the hallway mirror. “Do designer boxers sticking out say classy to you?”

  “She likes my boxers.”

  Not a thought
to linger on. “It takes a lot of work to keep a woman happy. It’s about romance, commitment, working together to build a solid foundation yet maintaining a sense of mystery.”

  “And you know this how?” She folded her arms.

  “I’m a lady. You want her to keep drooling over you?”

  Rebecca nodded.

  “Exactly.”

  Berne strolled in. She slid her arms around me, pulling me into her. Her lips claimed mine. I fought the urge to flop back in a dramatic swoon. I didn’t because I had all the grace of an octopus on roller blades and Berne had a bad back.

  “Bonjour,” she purred against my lips, released me, and strolled over to the fridge. She pulled out a bottle of water while I attempted not to dissolve into a puddle.

  “Being equal will help that,” Rebecca said, shaking her head at me. “He can say no if he wants to.”

  I glared at her. “You’re not asking him.” My gaze drifted back to Berne.

  “Why?” Rebecca pinched my arm. “You talk to him all the time.”

  Berne slunk her hip against the counter, watching us. She spoke better English than we did French. Even so, when Rebecca and I bickered, we spoke too fast for her to catch more than a few words.

  “Rebecca is worried that Babs will find someone else.” I was leaving out the mention of Doug. Berne always gave me an unimpressed look when I talked about him.

  “Ah.” A knowing smile touched her lips. I was relieved. Berne was protective of her best friend.

  “She’s meeting Babs for lunch,” I said.

  Berne raised an eyebrow. “Mais... you are dressed so... casually.”

  I knew she’d get it.

  Rebecca folded her arms. “It’s my favourite t-shirt. These are the jeans she bought me and says I look hot in, and the boxers—”

  “Don’t need to know,” I said, holding up my hand. Too much information.