Cross My Heart

by A. M. Hartnett

‘Come on, now. Think of the stories we’ll have to tell our grandkids.’

  As soon as he said it, Ryan fought his cringe, but when Evie looked up at him there was nothing but that warm smile.

  ‘That’s not an appropriate story for children,’ she teased, then stood on her toes for a kiss.

  He made it last, pulling her arms over his shoulders and then turning her around to sandwich her between his body and the vanity.

  ‘Let’s bail on Greg and Rosie and go have some “us” time,’ she said in a sigh when he raised his head.

  ‘Isn’t that what we just had?’

  ‘Fully clothed “us” time, around the corner for some ice-cream.’

  ‘Mmm, Oreo ice-cream in a waffle bowl.’

  ‘With hot fudge.’

  He groaned as he pushed her away. ‘You are a temptress, and I like it. Meet you at the fire escape?’

  Evie made a face. ‘I think I’m going to avoid the fire escape for a while.’

  ‘What are you going to do when he wants to have a cup of tea?’

  ‘Accept and avoid eye contact, and let him assume it’s because he saw my collection of vibrators.’

  ‘And the restraints on your bed.’

  Her mouth popped open. ‘What? You didn’t tell me about that! Aw, damn it. I can never leave the apartment again.’

  He gave her another hug, then led her into the hall. ‘Maybe he got a few ideas to use with his new friend.’

  ‘That’s not comforting at all.’ She looked down at her ensemble and sighed. ‘I’ll meet you at my place in five?’

  ‘Gonna leave your wet panties here?’

  ‘Always,’ she teased, and headed for the door.

  Chapter Six

  Evie snapped her teeth around her thumbnail, then quickly stopped when she remembered her manicure for that morning. She had the habit of biting her nails when she was nervous, and these last 24 hours she’d been thankful she didn’t have any more vices. If she still smoked cigarettes, she probably would have made a permanent fog in the kitchen. If she drank, she’d be stinking drunk.

  She didn’t know how to burn off her anxious energy, so while Ryan jogged around the block she parked in front of the computer and spent an hour wish-listing everything she could ever want from Etsy, and tried not to chew the blue-green lacquer from her nails.

  For almost an hour, she resisted the urge to go back to the site and look at David’s picture again. Once she gave in, she reread his profile and the messages he had sent, and gazed at his picture.

  Imagining that face hovering over hers as he pumped into her was easy. It was imagining him with his hands on Ryan that tripped her up. It had been easier when she could conjure up some shadowy, faceless figure with his hands on her lover. As in a movie that uses clever angles to conceal what’s really going on¸ she could never clearly see Ryan’s cock in another man’s mouth, or vice versa. She could imagine the sound of skin against skin as that man did something to Ryan from behind, but she couldn’t see the whole picture.

  Now that the ghost had a face, she found herself holding back a gasp at the thought of this beautiful man skimming his hands along the backs of Ryan’s hairy thighs as he closed his lips around Ryan’s cock. For the first time, this scenario that had been simmering for almost two months was a little less translucent. It was entirely possible that in just a few hours she and Ryan would welcome a stranger into his bed with them.

  Would this be a one-time thing? Would they invite this man back if everything went well? Would they look for another man? Or would this be it?

  She stared at the man’s photo, her gaze locked with his brown eyes, and an odd little shiver went through her, like fingers along her spine. She couldn’t help turning round to be sure she was alone.

  By the time Ryan returned, she had turned off the computer and put her energy into folding every piece of laundry in the apartment.

  ‘Shower,’ he said as he passed by the bedroom. A second later he returned and poked his damp head inside. ‘Are you folding away my underwear?’

  ‘Yes. I need something to do. I can’t fold mine because it’s too small. After you’re done with your shower, I’m going to clean it.’

  He laughed and rested his head against the doorjamb. Glancing at him, she saw the amusement wash away and the concern take over. ‘Evie, if you want to change your mind, it’s not too late.’

  ‘Did I say that? I never said that. You keep saying it, but I never say it.’ She dropped his boxers on top of the neat pile she had created and planted her hands on her hips. ‘Hurry up and shower so I can rub up on you without coming away stinking like sweat.’

  ‘You want to come with me?’

  She raised a brow and he laughed, then retreated.

  She tucked his undies into the drawer and went to work rolling up his pyjama pants. As laughable as it was, the act of domesticity was comforting to her. Handling those fleece pants splashed with Bart Simpson reminded her of why she was about to do something so scary, and how she had got here in the first place.

  He’d been wearing those fuzzies the night they first got together. It hadn’t been a hook-up. It had never been a hook-up with Ryan. Going to bed with him that first time had been a long time coming. When she’d first moved to Winsloe Court, there had been nothing more than minor flirting as they crossed one another’s paths.

  Chit-chat turned into plans to meet up when they went to the pubs with their social groups. He’d asked her to join him when he crossed the street to have a beer with neighbours Greg and Rosie. Then came the six-hour binges on 80s movies on his comfortable sofa, Ryan in his fleece fuzzies and Evie swimming in her university sweatshirt.

  It was no wonder she had a thing for those PJs, she thought now as she stroked the plush roll she had made of them. The first time Ryan had made a move, it was after his thigh had been pressed against hers for a half an hour in front of the television. He’d set his beer aside and just reached for her, and in moments Evie was tugging the waistband down to get her hands on the hard column that tented the crotch.

  Evie lifted the pants and pressed her nose against the plush fabric. They smelled like Rainforest Morning detergent, a smell she would forever associate with Ryan.

  She wondered what David would smell like.

  Quickly, she put away the last of his laundry, then lingered in the hallway to listen to the muffled, tuneless singing of the man in the shower.

  Like his fuzzy pants, the singing made her smile and her stomach flutter.

  For just a moment came the urge to run downstairs and throw the bolt on the front door, to draw the curtains and dim the lights and keep the whole world out.

  She’d thought she was ready, and now she wasn’t sure.

  ‘It’s just nerves,’ she told herself.

  Ryan came out of his bedroom casually dressed. The plan was that he would meet David at the café around the corner and spend a few minutes over coffee while the men looked one another over. If Ryan was comfortable, he’d text Evie and let her know he was bringing David home with him.

  ‘Should I…do anything?’ she asked, and shook her head over how stupid it sounded.

  Ryan smiled warmly and pulled on his jacket. ‘Wait. Relax.’

  ‘Relax?’

  ‘Pretend to relax. Have a glass of wine or something.’

  His keys jangled as he tucked them into his pocket. She imagined her nerves would make the same noise if she moved too much. Leaning against the kitchen table, Ryan watched her until she had to look away.

  ‘We don’t have to do this. We can just leave the guy down there.’

  ‘Stop saying that.’ She moved to the sofa and sank into it. Fighting the urge to tighten up, she leaned back and propped her feet on the ottoman. ‘I’ll be fine once…if…you know, when I’m naked.’

  ‘Just don’t get it into your head that you have to be some bombshell sex goddess as soon as we walk in – if we walk in. It’s all up to you.’

  ‘And that’s a lot of
pressure.’

  With a patient sigh, Ryan crossed the room and knelt next to her.

  ‘No pressure. If you’ve got something to say, you can say it to me and I’ll deal with it.’ He wrapped his hand around her ankle and squeezed. ‘Why don’t we have some kind of signal?’

  ‘What if you can’t see me?’

  ‘Then we’ll have a phrase.’

  ‘Like a safe word?’

  ‘Something like that. Just say…’ His gaze went to the background on his laptop. ‘Red sky.’

  ‘What if I’m into it and you’re not?’

  ‘Baby, we’ve already talked about this. If I’m not feeling it at any point, I’ll just come right out and say it. You’re still OK with that, even though you might be having fun?’

  ‘I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to any more than you’re going to make me do it.’ She shook her foot free and leaned forward until her head rested against his. ‘Go on. I’ll be fine – and I will open a bottle of wine.’

  ‘I won’t be long.’ He stood upright and his gaze went to the bedroom door. ‘We should probably shut the window tonight.’

  ‘Oh, so you’re OK with Seth listening to me getting my ass slapped but not you?’

  ‘Obviously.’ He danced away from her kick, and her stomach flopped again as he opened the door. The next time they were together, everything would be different. ‘See you soon. No doing more of my housework.’

  ‘I’ll try to contain myself.’

  Once the door was shut, Evie leaned back and covered her eyes with her hands.

  There was absolutely nothing she could do to prepare herself for what was probably going to happen. Nothing at all. There was no use in thinking about what she would do or what she would say, no point in wondering any longer whether this was about to be the most awkward moment of her life, or if she’d marvel why she had never before considered sex with two men at once.

  There was only the wait, and the wait just might kill her.

  She wandered into the bedroom and stood there looking at the neatly made bed. For a moment she entertained the notion of slipping on some shoes and running down to join Ryan, but she knew that he wanted to meet David alone first.

  David had to be right for Ryan before Ryan could gauge whether David was right for both of them.

  She flopped down on the bed and covered her eyes, waiting for the honk-honk of her phone when Ryan’s message came through to tell her whether they would have company.

  Ryan wasn’t sure whether it was a good sign that David had arrived early and was waiting when he walked into the café. He’d never done the online dating thing so he wasn’t up on what was good or bad, but he felt a little off-balance nonetheless. He’d wanted to be the first to arrive so he could watch for David’s arrival, to give himself the illusion that he had the upper hand from the get-go.

  Maybe David had the same idea.

  ‘Hey,’ he greeted David just like he would any other acquaintance, and held out his hand. ‘Ryan.’

  ‘David, but you already know that.’

  David’s shake was firm and lingered just a few seconds too long, as did the gaze that gave Ryan a quick perusal before satisfaction flashed in blue eyes, followed by hunger.

  By the time Ryan took his seat, he was already flush with imaginings about David’s hard body pressed against his, against Evie’s. The cover of the café table served him well as his cock strained against his fly.

  Just like that, Ryan made up his mind. David was coming home with him.

  Ryan grinned. ‘How many times have you done this?’

  ‘More than a few,’ David answered and took a quick look around. ‘Coffee shops aren’t my preference. There’s always someone listening in.’

  ‘Do you want to go on to the patio?’

  ‘No.’ David tapped a finger on the tabletop and looked past Ryan. ‘I’d rather the coffee shop than a bar, though. Too many interruptions from a waitress or bartender looking for more tips.’

  ‘What would be your preference?’

  David tilted his head, and Ryan’s cock jumped as the other man touched the tip of his tongue to his lip. ‘My place. It’s where I feel most comfortable.’

  ‘Well, I’ll try not to make you feel uncomfortable.’

  ‘I don’t think that’s going to be a problem,’ he purred. ‘What about your girl? Is she coming along?’

  ‘She’s where she feels most comfortable.’ Ryan leaned forward on both arms. ‘About my girl: we’re clear on how that’s going to go, aren’t we?’

  ‘Very. You were incredibly thorough in your messages. You lead; I follow, until someone tells me otherwise.’ He raised a brow, mirrored Ryan’s pose and lowered his voice. ‘I hope it’s not all about her. I’m here just as much for you as I am for your girl.’

  ‘Like she told you, she’ll want to watch us play.’

  ‘You sure you want her to watch everything?’

  ‘What makes you say that?’

  ‘I wonder if you wouldn’t rather ease her into it. We could all get together another time. Today you and I could go back to my place. That way, we can work together to get her hot and squirming without you thinking about how you’re going to take a cock up the ass for the first time.’

  Heat flooding his face, Ryan looked around. No one was in earshot, thankfully, and he laughed. ‘It’s no wonder you hate coffee shops with the way you talk.’

  ‘I don’t have much of a filter.’

  ‘Neither do I, behind closed doors.’ Ryan shook his head. ‘No, Evie’s got to be there. She’s nervous, but she’s also brave. She wants to be there for everything, and I want her there too.’

  David smirked. ‘The thought of her watching turns you on.’

  ‘It does. So does the thought of watching the two of you together.’

  He and David regarded one another for a moment longer, then Ryan pulled out his phone. ‘Should I let her know we’re on our way?’

  ‘I think that’s a good idea. How far away are you?’

  Electricity raced through Ryan’s blood. That easy?

  Of course. He was turned on and so was David. That’s all they needed to know now that everything else had been hashed out.

  ‘Just around the corner,’ he said quietly.

  David got to his feet. ‘I’m going to see if I can find a parking spot that won’t get me towed overnight – assuming there is an overnight.’

  ‘I don’t think that’s going to be a problem,’ Ryan said, and returned David’s grin. ‘I’ll meet you out front.’

  Once David had left, Ryan pulled up his texting app, then decided against it. It was highly unlikely that she had put her phone down for even a second since he’d left the apartment, but he didn’t want to chance surprising her. Instead, he called her.

  ‘Hey,’ she answered with a nervous shake to her voice.

  ‘We’ll be there in about ten.’

  The sigh she blew out on the other line rustled in his ear. ‘So he’s OK?’

  ‘I think so. Nothing jumped out at me.’

  She said nothing for a moment, and then, ‘Is he as hot as his pictures?’

  Ryan laughed. ‘Oh, yeah. You’re going to like unwrapping this package.’

  ‘I think I’ll just sit back and let you do the unwrapping.’

  Her purr went right through him, as did a nervous ripple. Part of him envied Evie, hiding out in his apartment with her butterflies. ‘Evie, listen. If I start to freak out a little…’

  ‘I’ve got you as much as you’ve got me,’ she promised. ‘I’ll be waiting.’

  ‘Yeah. See you soon.’

  He hung up, took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. His heart picked up the pace.

  He was really about to do this. After all the thinking about it, he was really going to have sex with another man.

  His nerves kept on rattling as he waited out front for David’s return, and he realised that this was his last chance to back out unscathed. Part of hi
m wanted to, the part that raged that he wasn’t ready by a long shot, but he knew how underhanded that coward was. It was the same part of him that had kept him from making a move on Evie until he couldn’t stand it any longer. He no longer trusted it.

  He trusted his gut, and as David rounded the corner he banished his doubt. He was ready, and he was especially ready for this man with the naughty eyes filled with promise.

  ‘Ready?’ David asked, and gave Ryan’s shoulder a firm squeeze.

  He nodded and led the way.

  Chapter Seven

  Holy mother of God.

  She knew that David was good-looking from his picture, but in the flesh he was so fine she actually ached all over.

  He was taller than she had imagined and had to duck his head slightly to get through the door. She liked the fluid way he moved as he stepped into the living room and took a look around, and then shimmied out of his jacket.

  He took a smouldering look down her body, then met her gaze with a naughty smile.

  ‘I was right.’

  With a flutter rising in her chest, Evie took his coat. ‘Sorry?’

  ‘You’re much cuter in person.’ He glanced to Ryan. ‘You’re a good-looking pair.’

  Evie glanced at Ryan, then returned David’s smile.

  Why didn’t we sign up for that site sooner? So worth the money.

  David gave her and Ryan the space on the sofa while he took the chair. Evie quickly collected two more wine glasses and set one in front of him. He caught her gaze as she poured, held it, and she flushed as the approval splashed across his face.

  ‘There’s beer, if wine isn’t your thing.’

  ‘This is fine,’ he said, and looked around the room again as he settled back. ‘Do you live together?’

  ‘Evie lives downstairs,’ Ryan answered, and as she took a seat next to him he brought her as close as he could. ‘Most of our playtime is up here.’

  David raised his glass to his lips and looked from one to another. ‘You are a couple, though, aren’t you?’

  ‘Does that matter?’

  ‘It helps. It makes it easier to keep things simple if my partners already have what they’ve been looking for and I’m just a bonus.’