Andy had clearly had a lot to drink before coming round. I could smell it. I could taste it. I could hear the slur in his speech. How drunk was he, though, because that would have a huge effect on how he’d take the news? He’d never been able to hold his drink. It was possible he’d built up a tolerance over the years, but the Andy I knew at university would get silly, then amorous, then aggressive. Silly – and even amorous – Andy could be fun. Aggressive Andy wasn’t. When I say aggressive, I don’t mean in a violent way, just in a confrontational arsey kind of a way. Had he had enough to hit that point? Would giving him another glass of wine tip him into it? I could hardly go back with just a glass for me, though, could I?
I sighed as I topped up my drink and poured him a glass. My phone beeped so I fished it out of my pocket, frowning at the name on the screen. A text from Andy? What the…?
✉︎ From Andy
Hurry up. I’m all ready for you xx
I shook my head as I put the phone back in my jeans pocket. A hallway separated us yet we were communicating by text. It struck me as quite ironic as text had become our only form of communication in our last couple of weeks together, although Andy’s texts back then had lacked the kisses and smiley faces.
What did he mean by, ‘I’m all ready for you’? Ready for what? My stomach sank. No! Don’t say Amorous Andy is here. Don’t let him be…
I pushed the lounge door open with my foot. Empty. That creak on the stairs? Oh no! Don’t say… I gingerly made my way upstairs, still holding the drinks. Heart thumping, I opened my bedroom door and gasped at the sight of Andy, stark bollock naked, sprawled out on the bed.
‘Oh my God! What are you doing?’
‘Waiting for you,’ he said. ‘You’re a bit over-dressed, but we can soon rectify that.’ He patted the bed beside him and did a little growl. I think he was aiming for sexy but he fell a little short. I tried to turn my laugh into a cough in case Aggressive Andy made an appearance.
‘Are you coming here or do I have to come and get you?’ He winked but it made him look psychotic rather than seductive.
I wrinkled my nose as I put the drinks down on the bedside table. ‘Would you put some clothes on first?’
‘Why?’ He squinted at me as if struggling to focus.
‘Because I thought you’d come round so we could talk. Not to… you know.’
‘We can talk after. Little Andy’s ready for his reunion.’
Little Andy? No, no, no, no, NO! We’d never used a pet name before, had we? Surely I’d have remembered. ‘Andy! Please.’
He frowned. ‘But I thought this was what you wanted. You seemed pretty keen downstairs.’
He was right and it had been very unfair of me. That kiss had definitely been of the ‘take me to bed right now’ variety but I absolutely couldn’t see it through. ‘Sorry. I can’t, Andy. Erm…’ I fished around for an excuse. ‘Not in Auntie Kay’s bed.’
‘Downstairs then?’
I shook my head. ‘I can’t.’
He stared at me for a while then looked down. ‘Okay. You win. Little Andy’s gone to sleep now anyway. I’ll put my kecks on.’
‘And your shirt? And maybe your jeans?’ I couldn’t stay and watch. ‘I’ll make us some coffee and meet you back in the lounge.’
When I entered the lounge with two mugs of coffee, Andy was there and had thankfully replaced his shirt and jeans although I could see that he’d brought the glasses of wine down and had already polished off his and half of mine.
‘What do you want coffee for?’ he slurred. ‘Have some wine.’ Then he sniggered. ‘Oh, I’ve already drunk most of yours. May as well have the rest.’ Before I could protest, he’d picked up my glass and taken a few swigs.
‘To us.’ He clinked his glass against my mug then gave me a lopsided grin and patted the sofa again. ‘I promise not to jump on you if you sit down.’
I tentatively sat down on the sofa as far from him as I could manage without sitting on the arm.
‘I have to say that I’ve quite enjoyed my week in Whit- Whits- The Bay,’ Andy said, ‘but I’m soooo glad it’s over. Couldn’t live in the sticks for long. Don’t know how you’ve coped with it these past few months.’
I prickled at the use of the word ‘coped’. Was he being rude? Smile politely. It was probably just a bad choice of word whilst under the influence. He won’t have meant anything by it.
‘I never wanted to move back here,’ I said, trying to keep my voice light and casual, ‘but I’m glad I did. I think living in London has made me appreciate it more. People go on about how much there is to do there but there’s so much to do here too. We’ve got the sea, the countryside, the moors, stacks of pretty villages and market towns, and it’s only an hour to York. We’ve got a good cinema, a theatre, great pubs and friendly people. What more could I want?’
Andy laughed. ‘You sound like an advert for “Visit Yorkshire”. Have you swallowed a brochure?’
I slurped on my coffee. ‘I’m just telling you what I think of the place.’
‘I’m glad you’ve liked it back here. It sounds like it’s been just what you needed but I bet you can’t wait to be living back in London again.’
‘You what?’
‘You’ll love being back there. I’ve got this great apartment by the Thames. It’s rented but there are some for sale in the same building. We can buy one if the commute’s okay for you.’
‘Commute?’
‘I’m assuming you’ll want to work until we start a family but it’s up to you after that. I can support us. I earn six figures you know.’ He tried to hold up six fingers but somehow managed eight. ‘There may be a couple of marketing roles at my place. I can put in a good word for you.’
I gasped. How the hell had he jumped so quickly from a few kisses to me moving to London, getting a job, buying a flat and having his babies? Was he winding me up? His serious expression suggested otherwise. ‘I’ve already got a job. I own a shop, remember?’
‘You must have had enough of playing shop by now, surely?’ Andy laughed and gave me what I’m sure was meant to be a gentle prod on the arm but it actually hurt like hell. I scowled at him. Do that again and Little Andy will be wearing this coffee.
‘Come on, Sarah, you’ve got a brain. You should be fast-tracking your career in London, not wasting away in a piddly little shop in some past-its-best northern seaside resort.’
‘I can’t believe you just said that.’ I slammed my mug down on the coffee table before I really did empty it in his lap. ‘That “piddly little shop” as you so delicately put it was started by someone who means the world to me – as you very well know – and I’ve put a lot of time, thought, and effort into developing the business. Could you be any ruder? And Whitsborough Bay isn’t some “past-its-best northern seaside resort”. It’s my home.’
‘It’s a shit hole. You know it and I know it. But we can leave soon.’
I wanted to slap him. Looking at the smug grin on his face, I saw again the self-assured arrogance he’d displayed all those years ago when he put his career ahead of me. I pictured myself that day outside his office when things ended. Back then, I’d been falling apart inside. Now, I was so much stronger and I wasn’t going to take the same old crap from him again.
I shuffled round on the sofa so I could face him fully, arms folded. Taking a deep breath, I said calmly, ‘Please forgive me for being a bit slow, but am I correct in thinking that you want me to close the shop, move down to London with you and get a marketing job again?’
‘Of course not! You don’t have to close the shop.’ He plumped a cushion and swivelled to fully face me too. ‘You could sell it. Or you could get a manager in to run it for you. Yeah. That would be perfect.’ He downed the remnants of wine from my glass. ‘Anyway, you don’t need to decide right now. I think we’ve done enough talking.’ He put the glass down and smiled seductively. ‘I’m sure we can awaken Little Andy…’ He leaned towards me, lips puckered, but I put my hand out and push
ed him back.
‘Not so fast, Romeo. I’m not quite done with the talking.’ My voice sounded strong and confident – a contrast to the nervous butterflies in my stomach. ‘I know you said I had a brain and I should use it, but I’m having a real thickie moment so please bear with me. Did I or did I not tell you this week that moving up here came at just the right time for me because I didn’t enjoy living in London anymore, that I hate the thought of ever working for another big company, and that the shop is the best thing that’s ever happened to me?’
‘You said all of that stuff but I know you didn’t really mean it. You love London. You loved your job. You just lost your way a bit.’
‘Lost my way? Have you not listened to a word I’ve said?’
‘Of course I have.’
‘So what would make you think I’d ever want to leave the shop and go back to exactly the same life I had before? The life I hated.’
‘You didn’t really hate it, though. You just came to your senses about that loser Jason then panicked and changed everything else.’
‘What?’
Andy wagged his finger at me. ‘I think this floristry malarkey is like a gap year for you – a chance to find yourself before you return to normality. Anyway, when you move back to London, it won’t be exactly the same. You’ll have me instead of Jason.’
I closed my eyes and covered my face with my hands. ‘We split up because you put your career ahead of me. Agreed?’ I lowered my hands on the last word and looked at him.
‘You know I was at risk of losing my job.’
‘Just answer the question. Did you or did you not put your career ahead of me?’
‘Yes. I did. And I’ve said I’m sorry.’
‘And are you now telling me that you’ve changed so much that you’ll never work late and you’ll always put me ahead of your career from now on?’
Andy hesitated, the smug expression slipping. ‘Of course you’ll always come first,’ he said. ‘But my career’s really important. You know that. I’ve come back from Dubai with a promise of a great promotion. It will mean long hours at first, but it’ll calm down when my boss can see I’m settling down and getting married like he told me to.’
WTF? ‘What did you just say?’
The expression on Andy’s face told me he’d just revealed something he hadn’t meant to. ‘I said it will calm down and we can get married. You know you’ve always wanted to get married.’
‘Not that,’ I snapped. ‘The bit about your boss.’
‘Erm… You’ll love the apartment. The kitchen’s fantastic. You’ve always said you’d like to do more cooking and you’ll be able to do loads when we entertain my boss and our friends. They’ll be so impressed, although you may have to step up the sophistication level from lasagne and shepherd’s pie. Might help you shed a bit of that lard too if you lay off the comfort food. If you’re going to be a director’s wife, you need to look the part.’
Ouch! As I stared at Andy, I realised I didn’t know him anymore and he clearly didn’t know anything about me either. I wasn’t sure who was sat on the end of the sofa but it certainly wasn’t the Andy I’d fallen for twelve years ago. I’d really thought he was back but Clare had been right all along; it was the charm offensive and not the true Andy that had wriggled under my skin. The drunken gibbering idiot issuing orders and insulting my weight was the real Andy. He certainly wasn’t my Charlie. He wasn’t my Tim either.
‘Christ, Sarah, what’s up with you now?’ he spat. ‘You’ve got a right face on you again.’
‘I think you should leave.’ I gave him my stoniest look then stood up, marched to the door, and flung it open.
‘Why?’
‘Why?’ I was shouting but I didn’t care. ‘Because you don’t need a girlfriend. All you’re after is someone to cook for you. Call a bloody agency. And if the other thing you want is sex, call an agency for that too.’ I pointed into the hall, indicating for him to leave, but he stayed exactly where he was, grinning inanely.
‘What are you wittering on about? I do want a girlfriend. I want you. Sarah. I already told you you’re the only person I’ve ever loved.’
I blanched at the use of the past tense and a reality hit me. ‘Oh my God! Loved? You don’t love me now, though, do you?’
‘I… erm… I could.’
‘Andy! What the…? Why did you come here?’ I shouted. ‘Why the balloon trip and the fireworks and all that other stuff if you don’t still love me?’
‘I’ll ask you the same thing. Do you love me?’ he shouted back.
‘No.’
‘Then why have you been all over me in the past few days?’
‘Why? Because I was confused by your sudden reappearance. Because I took years to get over you and I wasn’t sure whether I really had. Because I always believed we’d get back together one day. Because I wanted to believe you’d changed and it could be perfect between us again.’ Because you’re a Steven.
When Andy stared at me blankly, I decided to press on. ‘Given that we’ve both admitted we don’t love each other anymore, you may as well be honest about that comment about your boss. What was that all about?’
‘What comment?’
‘Don’t play with me. You owe me an explanation.’
He met my stare again.
‘Okay. You win,’ he said eventually. ‘Will you sit down first?’
I felt a bit silly standing in the open doorway but I couldn’t bear to be close to him so I sat down on the armchair instead. ‘Go on. This had better be good.’
He picked up my empty glass and, frowning, put it down again. I wasn’t going to offer him a top-up. He ran his fingers through his hair and stared into the fire for an excruciating minute or so.
‘I don’t know if you remember, but I work for a Japanese firm where the top guys have very strong family values that their senior team must uphold. To become a director, they expect you to be married with kids in private school and living in a nice property. A few comments were made that left me with no doubt that, if I didn’t get married soon, I wouldn’t be promoted any further.’
I shook my head. ‘Please tell me you’re kidding.’
He looked at me and shrugged. ‘I know. It’s a bit primitive, but it’s their culture and I need to embrace it if I want to be a director and earn the really big salary.’
‘Not about that. I meant please tell me that you’re kidding me about that being the reason you came here and messed up my life all over again.’
‘You’re the only person I’ve ever loved. I haven’t found anyone since who I can bear to be around for longer than a few months. I don’t have time to keep looking. I’ve never got bored in your company so I thought we could make it work. I thought I might have a struggle if you were still with Jason, but when I found you here working in a shop, I thought it would be easy.’
‘You thought wrong.’ I shook my head. ‘I didn’t think you could stoop much lower than that day outside your office, but you’ve just descended to a whole new level. Trying to win me back just to secure a promotion and a bigger salary? You really think a relationship could work on that basis?’
He nodded vigorously. ‘With the right person.’
‘And I suppose I’m that person?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then you’re deluded. You really think I’d be with you for those reasons? If I get married, it will be out of love, not to secure a bigger pay packet. Seriously, Andy, what sort of person do you think I am?’
He just stared at me blankly again.
‘I think it’s time for you to go back to London. Without me.’
‘You can’t mean that. Not after all the effort I’ve put in to win you back. My boss has spent a fortune on you, you ungrateful—’
‘Your boss paid?
Andy wouldn’t catch my eye. ‘No. I did. I didn’t mention my boss. It was me. My money.’
Another piece of the jigsaw slotted into place. If his boss had organised and paid for it, it
would explain a lot of things like how he’d managed to secure Denbury Castle on Boxing Day and fireworks over Whitsborough Bay Castle. His boss would have the influence and connections to have pulled in favours like that. Why would his boss do it, though? It still didn’t make sense.
‘To be honest, Andy. I don’t really care who paid. Even if it was you, you need to understand that I didn’t ask you to do any of it. You chose those things. I wasn’t holding a gun to your head.’
‘But I wouldn’t have got your interest without it, would I?’
‘You would. Don’t get me wrong; all those things were amazing. But they were only amazing because I seemed to be experiencing them with the old Andy but he’s long-gone, isn’t he? Which means any chance of us trying again is also long-gone.’
Andy looked pale. For a fleeting moment, I thought he was genuinely gutted that he’d blown it with me because he really did care. But then he ruined it. ‘What am I going to tell my boss?’
‘About what? What is it with you and him?’
‘Didn’t you wonder how I’ve managed to get all this time off work?’
I shrugged. ‘Not really. It’s the Christmas holidays. I assumed you were on annual leave.’
‘I might have told my boss that you were my girlfriend before I went to Dubai but the distance caused us to split up. Returning to the UK meant the relationship was back on the cards but I needed to spend a lot of time with you.’
‘Might have told him or actually told him?’
He didn’t answer the question. ‘I might have said a grand gesture was needed to make it up to you.’
‘Like a balloon flight?’
He nodded. ‘And I might have said I was going to propose to you on the balloon so we’d need it to ourselves. He’s all about family and he felt really guilty that posting me to Dubai split us up so he was keen to do what he could to fix it and he organised the venue.’
I covered my eyes. ‘All these lies, Andy. What happened to you? You never used to lie and now it seems you do it as easily as breathing.’ I took my hands away and looked at him. ‘I’m done talking now. We could sit here and talk all night and I don’t think I’ll ever understand what has happened this week or why you’ve done this to me or to your poor boss.’
New Beginnings at Seaside Blooms Page 26