Chaos at Coconuts

by Beth Carter

  “You mentioned that.”

  “Do you have a master’s?” Hannah asked.

  “Nope. Haven’t needed one. I’ve done pretty well without it, in fact.” Alex held her name plate in the air to demonstrate her hefty title: Alexandra Mitchell, Vice President, Marketing.

  Hannah brushed imaginary lint off her blazer. “Not bad. But I’d prefer Senior Vice President, or maybe even Executive Vice President.”

  Alex rubbed her tense shoulders, ignoring the dig. “I’m going upstairs for more coffee.” She decided to try the nice route. “Want any?”

  “I don’t drink that stuff. It’s bad for you. Makes your heart race. Keeps you awake at night. Turns your teeth brown.” Hannah pulled a bottle of Smart water from her pricey orange Kate Spade purse.

  “Well, I love coffee and drink a lot of it. And my teeth are pearly white.” She managed a half-smile, half-grimace to prove her point. “Be back soon.” Alex bounded the stairs, retreated, and grabbed her purse from underneath her desk. She didn’t trust this woman. While upstairs, she scouted for an empty office, an empty cubicle, or an empty corner. Anywhere she could put Hannah’s desk. But her shoulders fell. There wasn’t five square feet of empty space. The loan operations department had taken over most of the second floor, along with real estate and construction loan lenders, their support staff, and a massive employee lounge. Alex was defeated. For now.

  After she returned to her office, Hannah still had her feet on her desk and was filing her nails. Alex fought the urge to punch her.

  Hannah crossed her arms. “Did you think of anything for me to work on?”

  Alex scanned her calendar and project list. “How do you feel about annual reports?”

  “Do you have a sample for me to go by?” Hannah continued filing her nails. “Not to copy, naturally, but so I don’t duplicate?”

  Alex rifled through her files and retrieved the past two years of annual reports she had prepared for the board. This was one of her most dreaded tasks. She decided to make the best of enduring Hannah by giving her a dull, crappy, time-consuming project.

  She handed one of the large, glossy reports to Hannah. “Here. I always take pictures of customers—I get their permission first—and have them sign a waiver. Also, take pictures of employees to jazz up the document. It’s a rather dry report without graphics and photos.”

  Alex thumbed through the most recent annual four-page report and pointed to the middle section. “I’ve always done a year in review and chose a word to rhyme with the current year for the heading. Do what you want, though. You’ll need to interview several officers to determine the stats for their respective departments. For instance, ask Cleo and Judy in New Accounts how many CDs they opened last year.”

  “CDs?”

  “Certificates of Deposit.” I guess they don’t teach that to master’s students. “Ask Kathy in real estate how many construction loans she made the past year, and likewise, ask Terry in real estate how many home loans she processed. We want to report the overall number of loans and total dollar amount—not individual information—just a collective total. Also, ask Stu about home equity loans and Dave about commercial loans.” Alex ran her finger down the page showing the breakdown and comparisons. “See what I mean? Use bullet points to break up the text. This should keep you busy for a week or two.” And out of my fucking hair.

  Hannah licked her lips. “This is right up my alley. I love projects like this. It reminds me of school and some of my master’s classes.”

  Alex groaned inwardly and wondered how many times Hannah had already used the word “master’s” in one day. She couldn’t wait to get the woman out of her office. “Before you start, here’s an employee list with everyone’s title. As you probably know, employee names are outside their doors or on their desks. You should introduce yourself anyway. Take your legal pad and get started. Just approach the officers who don’t have customers, obviously.”

  “Obviously.”

  Alex noticed Hannah rolled her eyes.

  Whatever. Just go away.

  Instead of using the legal pad, Hannah pulled an iPad from her massive purse. “I’ll use this. You may be old school but I prefer modern conveniences.”

  Alex stuck her tongue out as Hannah bounded out of her office. I hate her already.

  Chapter 9

  Since she planned to meet her friends at Coconuts later, Suzy prepared her husband’s favorite dinner: spaghetti, meatballs, salad, and garlic bread. After he wolfed down his food, Ken rubbed his belly. “That was good, hon. Thanks.” He kissed her, and retreated to the living room.

  Her new-to-her stepdaughter, Izzy, left her half-eaten plate on the table and said, “I like Mom’s spaghetti better.” She stormed off to her bedroom, never offering to help with the dishes. As usual.

  Suzy bit her tongue and cleared the plates. She filled the sink with soapy water as Izzy reappeared to get a Coke, never taking her eyes off her phone. Suzy glared at the teen. This girl got on her nerves fast. And Suzy never disliked anyone. She had tried every way possible to be nice to Izzy but the teen—her surprise stepdaughter who her new husband had failed to mention during his whirlwind, unexpected proposal—seemed bent on torturing her. Izzy’s patent excuse was always “homework” but when Suzy checked Izzy’s social media, she could tell by the timeline that her stepdaughter had been all over Facebook and Instagram the entire time Suzy had washed dishes.

  Suzy rarely complained. After all, they were newlyweds, and Izzy was only there part-time. Thank God. Still, it was hard to take, especially since her son would never be disrespectful. Ken constantly retreated to his den to catch up on paperwork or watched television in the living room where he could pretend he didn’t notice his daughter’s antics.

  Being a wedding planner who worked from home, it was hard to get away from household chores. Suzy had reluctantly given up her beautiful pink and black home office for Weddings by Suzanne to her ungrateful stepdaughter, who only slept there infrequently, thank goodness. Since her former brides’ photos were no longer adorning her office walls, Suzy knew she was losing her inspiration, her mojo. The snapshots of the many themed weddings she had planned over the years had provided endless motivation. The pictures were now collecting dust in boxes.

  Suzy sighed. She never thought she’d be relegated to the table in her own home and had difficulty concentrating since she was distracted by dust, dishes, and everything non-wedding. Her bridal clients’ files and pink and black pens were kept nearby for inspiration but it wasn’t the same. Occasionally, Suzy regretted her insistence that she and Ken live in her cozy home since it was larger than his sparse bachelor pad but hated the fact she had to give up her precious office. If Izzy were the least bit grateful or helped around the house, I’d feel differently. And that voice. Suzy bristled every time she heard Izzy’s nasally voice. The kid could have been a voice double for Fran on The Nanny.

  Before going to Coconuts, Suzy decided to take a quick look at beach-themed weddings for her son, Jon, and his partner, Fernando. As Suzy opened her files, she noticed Izzy’s new expensive purple school jacket on the floor. Usually, school jackets were reserved for seniors but Ken never said no to his daughter.

  Don’t pick it up. Leave her jacket there until it turns to dust. Suzy took a cleansing breath and tried to focus as she perused destination wedding locales. The sites boasted aqua water, white, powdery beaches, and stylish resorts to die for. She opened another file featuring coastal wedding images on Pinterest and yet another with possible wedding mementos for guests, knowing Jon and Fernando would want to be involved with every minute detail once she narrowed down the selections. As a wedding planner, she was, of course, planning her son’s wedding for free. It was Suzy’s gift to them.

  The sandy images made her smile. As her shoulders began to relax, Izzy stomped in. She stepped over
her expensive school jacket and kicked her shoes halfway across the room, nearly knocking over a lamp. Suzy tensed as her stepdaughter plopped on the couch and turned the television up to concert level. The teen didn’t even watch the TV. As usual, her face was buried in her iPhone.

  “Izzy. I’m working. If you’re on the phone, please turn the television off.”

  “I’m watching it,” Izzy said without looking up from her cell.

  “Will you at least turn it down?”

  Suzy watched as Izzy sighed loudly, set her phone on the couch as if this were a huge inconvenience, and pointed the remote toward the television. She lowered it one bar. ONE.

  Suzy knew this was nothing more than a battle of wills, so she bit her tongue and tried not to engage. She did her best to ignore the earsplitting sound and leaned closer to the screen to concentrate on her son’s wedding. Her thoughts clouded her research. I know Izzy does these things on purpose. But why? She must be jealous of me—or she doesn’t want me married to her father. Or both. Suzy rubbed her tight shoulders. She had tried everything to win the sulky teen over but Izzy wasn’t having it. If Suzy didn’t love Ken so much, she wasn’t sure she could endure the brat. Life was too short. Maybe I’ll win her over. Maybe.

  Giving up for now, Suzy signed off and got ready to leave for Coconuts. Her girlfriends always made her smile.

  Chapter 10

  Hope saddled up to their familiar round table at Coconuts and ordered drinks for her friends. She knew exactly what they wanted—chardonnay for Alex, merlot for Suzy, and a margarita for herself.

  Suzy arrived next, and as usual, Alex was ten minutes late.

  Alex didn’t bother with a greeting. “Oh, God. I needed this.” She took a big gulp of wine before sitting down.

  “Uh-oh,” Hope said.

  Alex waved Gus over. “I’m going to need another one of these in fifteen minutes.”

  “Sure thing. Want some menus?” Gus asked.

  Alex smiled at the tank-top wearing server. He fit right in with the Coconuts beach theme with his green tank sporting a palm tree with oversized coconuts, khaki shorts, and flip-flops. “How about a bowl of nuts so I don’t dance on the table after drinking this wine?”

  “And that would be a shame.” Gus winked and soon reappeared with a tiny bowl containing five nuts. A huge smile spread across his face. “Just kidding. I’ll bring more but I would like to see some dance moves.” He walked to the counter and poured more nuts into a large bowl.

  “I think he has a crush on you, Alex,” Suzy said.

  Hope nodded. “Funny. I never noticed it before but you might be right.” Hope sipped her margarita and sighed. “All the guys love Alex.”

  “Well, look at her.” Suzy waved her hand toward their blond friend. “She’s a knockout.”

  “Oh, stop.” Alex winked. “We’re all attractive. It’s a cross we have to bear.” She laughed as she glanced around their favorite oasis. The regulars were already seated in the homey, island-themed bar. Coconuts drew a variety of customers—a balding guy in his usual, cheap leisure suit, two women who wore short skirts and tall shoes, a plump, jolly, talkative man chomping on an unlit cigar, several businessmen and businesswomen wearing suits and in obvious need of Happy Hour, and a young, loving couple holding hands. The wall-to-wall beach mural set a fun, soothing tone in land-locked Crystal City.

  Alex scanned the room. “God, I love this place.”

  “I don’t know what we’d do without it,” Hope said.

  Unusually quiet, Suzy rubbed a crack on the table.

  “What’s up, Suzy Q? Are you in fresh hell too?” Alex asked.

  Suzy shrugged. “I suppose I’ve got one foot in the abyss. By the way you slugged that wine, I’d say yours is worse. What hell are you in?”

  “You go first. I’m enjoying my drink,” Alex said.

  Suzy’s brows knitted. “I don’t know. Now that Ken is in my life, I’m happy. Really happy.” She glanced out the window but her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I should be happy.”

  Hope put her hand on Suzy’s arm. “I thought you were elated to have your high school sweetheart back in your life.”

  “Trouble in paradise already?” Alex splayed her left hand in the middle of the table. “Married life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, which explains my naked ring finger.”

  Suzy twirled her wineglass. “Actually, Ken is wonderful. He’s romantic, sweet, kind, handsome, and truly my soulmate.”

  Hope rolled her eyes. “And you’re complaining? I’m not sure I want to hear any more. Your wedding was one of the most romantic things I’ve ever seen. I thought I’d lose it when he proposed to you on the dance floor at our high school reunion.”

  Suzy rubbed the back of her neck. “Ken isn’t the problem. It’s his teenage daughter.”

  Alex’s mouth fell open. “He has a daughter?”

  “Exactly,” Suzy said.

  “Didn’t you know about her?” Hope asked.

  Suzy shook her head. “Between the whirlwind wedding, dancing, swirling lights, classmates, and being swept off my feet, I guess he forgot to mention her. I found out after we were married. Apparently, she and her mother were on vacation at the time. Ken got caught up in the moment. I suppose he didn’t see the need to mention her.”

  “Kind of a big thing to forget,” Alex said.

  Suzy shrugged. “It’s in the past. She’s my present.”

  “And your future,” Hope added.

  Suzy stared into her drink. “Yep. Seems that way.”

  “Is she really that bad?” Alex asked.

  “She’s rude and disrespectful toward me.” Suzy crossed her arms. “I’ve tried everything to win her over.”

  Gus broke the flow by bringing another round. Alex turned back to Suzy. “What’s her name?”

  Suzy sipped her merlot. “Izzy. Well, it’s Isabelle but she goes by ‘Izzy.’”

  “Cute name,” Hope said.

  “And she’s a cute teenager but she has a real attitude toward me. She’s a daddy’s girl. In Ken’s eyes, Izzy can do no wrong but she tries to backstab me every chance she gets. She won’t help around the house and has taken over my office.” Suzy sighed. “My beautiful, serene Weddings by Suzanne workplace is now a purple and teal trashed teen den. I’ve been relegated to the kitchen table while the television blares, even though she’s always fixated on her phone and not even watching.”

  Alex groaned. “I’m glad Tony has a young son. I’m not sure I could handle a sulky teen girl.”

  “The list goes on.” Suzy shifted in her seat. “Izzy won’t clean her room and she never helps with dishes. She invites friends over for dinner and doesn’t tell me. Want to hear more?”

  “What a sweetheart.” Alex frowned. “How old is she?”

  “Fifteen. She’s a sulky, obnoxious, full-of-herself teen.” Suzy gulped her red wine. “Plus she hates me.”

  “How could anyone hate you? Loads of people hate me, but you?” Alex held both hands in the air as Hope and Suzy roared. “Hey, what’s so funny about that?”

  “Sorry.” Hope muffled her mouth with her napkin.

  Suzy burst out laughing. “You know we love you.”

  “Whatever.” Alex threw her hands in the air.

  “Back to my situation. I think Izzy is determined to break Ken and me up.”

  “She sounds like a peach.” Alex tapped her left ring finger. “Again, this is exactly why I’m not married with kids. Thanks for making my case but sorry you’re dealing with this. I wouldn’t have the patience but you’ll win her over. Maybe Hope has some advice.” Alex turned toward their high school counselor friend. “What say you, great sage?”

  Hope set her margarita down. “Sorry, but don’t expect a miracle pill from me. Izzy
sounds like a typical teenage girl. They usually grow out of it. Kids in blended families often act out in different ways. Ideally, of course, she’d prefer that her two parents get back together. It’s normal behavior if you think about where she’s coming from.” Hope put her hand on Suzy’s arm. “I’m not siding with her. Hopefully, you can teach her to respect you in time. You’ll have to slowly win her over, that’s all.”

  “Do you always have to be such a practical counselor?” Suzy circled the rim of her glass. “I know you’re right. Now, I feel guilty. I’m the grownup. It’s just hard to remember during a heated moment when the house is trashed or when four of her friends are staring at me expecting an unplanned meal. Thanks. I feel a little better but Jon was never like this. How long do I have to put up with her crappy behavior?”

  “Until she’s thirty or has her own family.” Hope dusted her hands together. “Okay, I solved Suzy’s problem.” Hope turned toward Alex. “Suzy said you called this emergency meeting. What’s up?”

  Chapter 11

  Alex narrowed her eyes. “I have a new marketing intern.”

  Suzy cocked her head, appearing confused. “Isn’t that good? You’ll have more help.”

  “You’re always working overtime,” Hope said. “An extra set of hands will—”

  “She’s the boss’s daughter, a real daddy’s girl, and a total bitch.”

  “Oh,” Suzy and Hope said in unison.

  “Exactly.” Alex huffed. “She also holds her damn master’s degree over me because I have a lowly bachelor’s. I hate her already.”

  Hope crossed her arms. “Give her a chance. Aren’t you jumping to conclusions?”

  “Nope.” Alex flipped her hair over her shoulder. “I don’t like the fact that my boss is pushing his daughter on me. To work with me in my office. The little bitch sat in my chair and plunked her crap in the middle of my desk like she owned the place.”