Yours and Mine (Freshman Forty #2)
Page 11
“What are you going to do with this place after you’re done with school?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. Try to sell it, I guess. Although it breaks my heart because now that I’m living here, as isolated as it is, I love it more than ever.”
“It has some rustic appeal.”
“It does, doesn’t it?”
“You should learn how to grow grapes. Take over the winery.”
She laughs.
“What? I’m serious. I would imagine there’s some science behind making decent wine. And science is your thing, right?”
The smile fades from her face. “I never thought of that. My school actually has a major in enology.”
“What’s that?”
“The science of making wines.” She smiles again. “Can you imagine me being a grape farmer?”
“Why not? You already own this place, right?” I take another sip of the icy wine. “Steve owns a couple vineyards on Long Island. You could talk to him about it.”
“Maybe I will. I just won’t tell my father about it.” She stands. “I’m going to check on the rice.”
She touches my shoulder as she walks past and I feel all the muscles in my upper body relax.
Chapter 26
After we finish dinner – a long, lazy one filled with good food and easy conversation – Laurel gazes down at the lake. The moon is reflecting off it, a soft white glint of light that illuminates the dock jutting from the beach below.
She takes a deep breath. “The weather is so much better this fall than it was last year. I think it rained every day for the first three months my freshman year. Do you want to go down to the dock?” she asks softly, shyly.
Realizing this is how things began between us last summer at the bonfire, I hesitate with my answer, remembering back to that night. It was Laurel who asked me if I wanted to take a walk alone on the beach. The moon was high over the water just like tonight and we found a private cove out of view from the others. I’d like to relive that time again with her, on the beach, on a dock, in her bed, I don’t care where, but until she figures out which direction she and Mike are taking their relationship, I’m not going there.
“I can’t. I’ve got to study and it’s almost ten. Midterms start on Monday. Besides, I doubt the signal from the baby monitor would stretch all the way down the hill.”
“Oh. Right.” Her eyes meet mine, but I break it off and push away from the table, grabbing her plate and piling it with mine. I like seeing the disappointment on her face because even if she is in denial, I know she was suggesting something just now. It’s reassuring that maybe I stand a chance. But I’m going to play this my way.
“I’ll see you in the morning?”
She nods, not saying anything. I’d love to know what is going through that pretty head of hers, but I don’t bother asking. I leave her sitting outside, pondering, drop the plates in the sink and head up to close myself off in my room.
***
I awaken to the cries of Carolyn and rub my eyes. It is still dark outside although the moon is a strong beacon in the sky. I check my watch for the time. 4:30. I blindly make my way into her room, seeing Laurel’s door is closed. When I pick Carolyn up, she is sopping wet.
“Your diaper explode?” I ask and bring her over to the changing table. When she is dry and in new pajamas, I attempt to lay her back in her crib, but as soon as she feels the motion of me putting her down, she starts wailing again. I rest her up on my shoulder and she quiets. “All right, little girl, you win. Let’s go find something for you to drink.”
My eyes adjust to the darkness as I climb down the stairs. When I reach the foyer, I see the front light is still on outside on the porch. When I go to flick it off, the unwelcome sight of Mike’s car parked next to mine stands out like a sore thumb in the driveway. I glance up at Laurel’s door at the top of the landing, shaking my head.
“Whatever.” I sigh, trying to let it go. But the sudden sharp pain in my gut reminds me that I’m not doing a good job of it.
“Nahnahnahnahnah.” Carolyn babbles her baby talk.
“Exactly,” I say.
After I’ve given Carolyn a bottle and some mashed bananas, she’s watched a puppet show on a kids’ channel and the sun is starting to rise over the lake, I decide I don’t feel like having another breakfast with Laurel and shirtless Mike.
I run upstairs and get dressed, then pack up the diaper bag, grab my laptop and fill a couple of bottles with formula. I leave a note for Laurel that we’ve gone out for an early morning father-daughter adventure.
It’s barely seven as we motor down Route 14. “Where should we go, baby?”
With nothing open so early in the morning in Watkins Glen other than a diner, I decide to bundle Carolyn up and go for a walk along the water. There are a few fishing boats getting ready to launch from the marina and a couple anglers out on the pier as we walk past them drinking their coffee and resting their rods against the pilings.
When I get to the farthest end, I see Nick is working on his boat.
“Morning!” I call to him.
He looks up at me. “Danny, right?”
I nod. “Good memory.”
“Is that your daughter?” He motions to Carolyn.
“Yup.”
“Cute.”
“She’s cuter when she sleeps through the night. We’ve been up since 4:30.”
“Oh, I know about nights like that. My girlfriend and I have a two-year-old. He still doesn’t make it through the night most of the time.”
“Don’t tell me that. I thought this was just a phase.”
I lock Carolyn’s stroller wheels and jump down to the dock where his boat is moored.
“You have a charter today?” I ask.
“I was supposed to take out three guys on a corporate retreat, but they got called back to Buffalo for some kind of work emergency. I figured since I’m here, I may as well clean her up.”
I look out onto the vast lagoon. “So how big is this lake, anyway?”
“Thirty-eight miles long.”
“Bigger than I realized.”
“Yeah, and it connects to the neighboring lakes via series of canals and locks. You could boat all the way to Lake Ontario from here if you want to.”
“Really?”
“Yup. Follow the canals to Lake Erie and the Erie Canal. Once you reach Lake Ontario, you’re entering international waters.”
“I had no idea.”
“Most people don’t. It’s become a big security issue. So much so, the Coast Guard has been conducting a bunch of antiterrorism drills over in Rochester.”
“What kind of drills?” I ask, leaning against the piling.
“All sorts of stuff. I think they’re mainly concerned about the threat of a nuclear weapon entering from Canada via the waterways.”
“Really?”
“Yup. If someone wanted to, they could move a weapon all the way to New York City just by traveling through a series of channels, locks and canals. It’s such a concern, the Coast Guard got a huge grant from the Fed to better manage the security of the lakes.”
“Interesting.” I rub my chin, scratchy with two-day-old stubble. “I’m getting a degree in Homeland Security Management at Long Island University.”
“Are you?” Nick takes a sip of coffee. “If I didn’t just finish up nine years of military service, I’d consider going for something like that. More interesting than electrical engineering – my day job. I don’t think my girlfriend has the stomach for any more school or active duty, though. She wants to get married.” He pauses. “I could give you the name of the guy who’s been tapped to oversee it all, if you want. He was my professor at the academy.”
“Wouldn’t I need to be an officer?”
He shakes his head. “The Coast Guard is fine with hiring civilians who have the right experience. If you’ve got your captain’s license, you’d be an asset.”
“I do.” I smile. “I might take you up on that. I
can’t support this little one on fishing trips alone,” I say, motioning to Carolyn.
“I hear you. That’s why the boat only goes out twice a week. I’m nine to five every other day.”
Carolyn begins losing patience and lets out a loud squeal to get my attention.
“I think that’s my cue to get going. Thanks for the info, man. I appreciate it.” I shake his hand. “I’ll be in touch.”
“Sure. And let me know if you want to come angling. The fishing is good year-round.”
“I will,” I say, climbing up the ladder to the pier.
Chapter 27
I spend the morning with Carolyn, exploring the parks and waterfalls around Seneca Lake, first starting in Watkins Glen and then driving to Geneva. When we finally head back to Dresden, she falls asleep in the car and I’m able to move her to her crib without waking her.
She sleeps for three hours, and while she does, I sit at the kitchen table, working through five chapters on cyber security until I hear Laurel’s RAV4 crackling down the driveway.
She comes inside, calling, “Hi, Danny.” But she doesn’t come into the kitchen. I hear her boots clomp up the stairs and then her door open and close.
Maybe there is more trouble in paradise. Or she’s avoiding me. Whatever it is, I don’t need to stick around to find out. It’s 3:30, and if I don’t get going, I won’t be home until midnight.
My duffle is packed and sitting on the front porch, so I shove it into my trunk, next to the stroller. Then I poke my nose back into the house and call, “Laurel?”
It takes a few minutes, but she opens her door and comes to the landing, wearing shorts and a sweatshirt. Her legs are satiny smooth and I’d love to run my hand along them, but I force myself to focus on her face. “I have to get going.”
She comes downstairs. “I didn’t mean to be rude. I just had a hard day of classes. I didn’t get much sleep.”
I hold up my hand because I don’t need to hear it. “No worries. I’ll see you next weekend on Long Island.” I start towards my car.
“Wait, Danny.”
I sigh and turn to face her. “Yeah?”
“What did you do today with Carolyn?”
I shrug. “We went to a couple parks. I got her some pancakes, which she loved. She was wiped out when we got back.”
“Sounds fun,” Laurel says, a hint of melancholy in her voice.
My face flushes with impatience and frustration. No. She doesn’t get to make me feel sorry for her. She is well aware of the choices she’s making. After the dinner we had, the connection that undoubtedly exists between us – one that’s based on a foundation of friendship and chemistry, not to mention the bond of a shared child between us…She could have sent Mike home when he showed up here for a booty call last night. Instead, she had him in her bed again, right under my nose.
“It was,” I say coldly, climbing into my car. I drive off, leaving her on the driveway, watching me go.
When I’m far enough down Route 14, I punch the steering wheel with both hands and yell, “GODDAMNIT!”
The ride home takes an eternity.
Chapter 28
My alarm goes off at 6:30 a.m. and I feel an enthusiasm for the day that I haven’t felt for the last several. It’s Laurel’s turn to bring Carolyn here for the weekend, and as I march toward the shower, I have to question who I’m looking more forward to seeing: Carolyn or Laurel. As much as I try to stifle my feelings for her, the fact is I have thought about her every single day since I left her standing there in the driveway. And I’d be lying if I didn’t silently hope that without the threat of Mike showing up in the middle of the night, she might be able to focus enough to see me and me alone.
As I drive to the marina, my phone goes off with a text from Laurel saying they are getting in the car and should be at her dad’s no later than three.
I return the text, letting her know I’ll be out on a charter all day and will come over afterwards. I ask if she wants to grab some dinner. She doesn’t respond.
After a while of checking my phone, I shove it in my pocket and put it out of my mind. I let myself enjoy a fall day out on the water with a couple of men in their seventies who know a thing or two about fishing. For October, the air is still surprisingly mild, and the sun shining high in a cloudless sky makes it seem even warmer than the 60 degrees that it is. We return to the marina with a cooler full of bass.
When the boat is cleaned and returned to her mooring in the middle of the cove, and I’ve fileted two bass and placed them on ice in my trunk, I head up to the Heights. Before turning on her street, I stop at a wine store that is known for its local wines and select a cold Riesling from one of Steve’s wineries in Mattituck. I feel my heart speeding up as I approach her house and I have to remind myself to check myself and keep my poker face intact. As I turn past the large oak tree that marks her father’s driveway, my heart sinks when I see the car that’s there. Mike’s station wagon. I feel my muscles tense as a headache forms beneath my temples.
I put my car in park and clench my fists. If before I thought we could revisit our last dinner, this time maybe taking it one step further, now I know I am here for one reason and one reason alone – to pick up Carolyn.
I knock on the door, seeing through the glass that Mike is outside on the deck on the other side of the living room. He’s watching the sunset.
Laurel comes out of the bedroom corridor, holding the baby, and motions me in.
I take Carolyn out of her arms, kissing her stomach, which always produces a squeal of delight. Carolyn touches my face and I squeeze her.
Mike opens up the sliders and comes in. He’s holding a beer, barefoot, and his striped button-down is half tucked, half untucked from his khaki pants. His hair is gelled across his forehead in a hairstyle that looks like he’s spent a little too much time on it. “Hey, man,” he says when he comes inside.
I nod. Laurel watches us without saying anything and there’s something in her eyes – a sadness – that makes me curious.
“Want a beer?” Mike asks.
“I can’t stay.”
“I have a bag packed for you,” Laurel says and she walks back towards the nursery.
“How was the drive?” I ask just to fill the hollow room with some sound.
“Long. But, man, this place is amazing. It was worth it. I’m going to make it a point to come here with Laurel as much as I can.”
That’s all I need to hear. This custody arrangement is quickly turning into a fuck fest for Laurel and Mike, alternating Wednesdays and weekends.
“Well, have a good time.” I carry Carolyn out to my car, strapping her into the car seat, shaking my head.
Laurel joins me in the driveway. When our eyes meet, I say, “I guess everything is good with Mike.”
She shrugs her shoulders and hands me Carolyn’s bag. “He thought it might be good for us to get away from school to spend some time together.”
“You mean outside of his 2 a.m. booty calls?”
She shakes her head. “It’s not like that.” She crosses her arms.
“Laurel, the guy barely comes to see you. You said it yourself. But whenever I’m there, he makes it a point to show up and sleep over. That’s a booty call if I ever saw one. Or…”
“Or what?”
“Maybe he’s just marking his territory.”
“Marking his territory?”
“Yes. Showing me that you’re his girl even if we have a baby together.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Oh?”
She sighs. “My friend Rita saw him and Ashley having dinner together at a restaurant the other night. She said it looked a lot like a date. Candlelight, wine, the works. He told me he was going to the library.”
“And you’re telling me this because you think you need to convince me he’s no good for you?”
“What? No.” She shakes her head. “I’m telling you because you’re my friend.”
“I�
��m your friend?” I nod my head. “Okay. So if that’s the case, friends tell each other the truth, right?”
“Yes.”
“I think you should dump him. He’s dicking you around. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He’s going to keep using you for sex until he’s secure that this Ashley chick is willing to put out.”
“Oh my god. You have it so wrong.”
“I don’t think I do.”
“I’m not even sleeping with him. We haven’t had sex yet,” Laurel whispers.
“You’re not?” I squint.
“No.” She crosses her arms. “That’s part of the issue going on between us. He’s getting tired of waiting and he doesn’t understand why I’m taking so long. I guess after having had a baby at eighteen, I’m just not ready to go there yet. Okay?”
Carolyn starts babbling from the car seat, interrupting how closely I’m concentrating on what Laurel just said.
“Wow. I guess I had it wrong,” I say, moving around to the driver side.
“Exactly.” She glances at the house. Mike’s silhouette is near the front door, watching the two of us.
I rattle my keys to get her attention. She focuses back on me.
“So if you think he’s cheating on you, why the hell did you bring him with you this weekend? It’s like you’re a glutton for punishment.”
She walks to where I am standing, keeping her voice soft. “I guess I thought the time alone here and away from crying babies and school could be a good thing. I don’t expect you to understand.”
My skull starts pounding. I’ve heard enough. “You’re right. I don’t. I can’t figure you out.”
I climb into my car. “I’ll see you on Sunday,” I say, and speed off.
Chapter 29
My mom shows up before Carolyn is awake and I give her instructions, pointing out where everything is before I slip out at the crack of dawn for an early morning bass trip. When I return home in the afternoon, they are both napping, and instead of waking them, I change into running clothes and head out to Orient Point.