A Cowboy's Redemption

by Marin Thomas

José shook his head. “Sara loved my son, but Tony’s first love was being a doctor. I always knew that. I was surprised she didn’t leave my son after a few years, but she stayed by his side even though she and Dani played second fiddle to his career.” José cleared his throat. “I can’t allow her to keep sacrificing for Tony. He’s gone now. And he’s not coming back.”

  “What are you saying?”

  José looked Cruz square in the eye. “Do you love my daughter-in-law?”

  Cruz hadn’t allowed himself to consider that word when thinking of Sara—it had been too painful. But José had made the trip to see him, and he owed him the truth. “Yes. I love Sara and Dani.” He swallowed hard, bracing himself for rejection.

  “You’re not the man I would choose to raise my granddaughter or to be with my son’s wife.”

  Cruz more than understood—he agreed with José. “I’m nowhere near good enough for them. My past will only cause them pain and hurt.”

  “You can’t escape your past, and it’s bound to affect how others think of Sara and Dani and how they treat them.”

  “Sara’s doing the right thing, José. She’s protecting Dani and she was trying to protect you.”

  José spread his arms wide. “So how did you end up here?”

  “It’s a long story. You got time to hear it?”

  “I’ve got time. I’m not leaving until tomorrow morning.”

  “Does Sara know you’re here?”

  “No. I didn’t tell her where I was heading.”

  “She must be worried about you.”

  “She’ll be fine.” José sank to the ground and sat. “Now tell me why Maria Fitzgerald believes the sun rises and sets on you.”

  “Has Sara told you anything about my family?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Are you sure you want to know? It’s not good.”

  “Tell me everything.”

  “My father was a famous bull rider, but at the height of his career he got into a bar fight and killed a man in self-defense. He’s still serving time in prison. After he went away, my mother fell apart and started doing drugs.” Cruz couldn’t believe how easy the words came. José didn’t judge or interrupt. He sat quietly and listened to every detail.

  “When I finally came up for parole, the warden decided he didn’t want to lose his best bronc rider, so he made sure I stayed in prison. He sent a prison rapist to harass me and I swear, José, I tried to talk the man down, but he kept coming at me and I fought back. They turned on the prison camera in the room once I started swinging my fists. The fight got me another eight years behind bars.”

  José sat quietly, a thoughtful expression on his face. “What are your plans for the future?”

  “I like it here. I like helping the boys.”

  “Do you intend to live here permanently?”

  “Maybe. If I can help troubled teens avoid what I went through, then twelve years behind bars won’t have been for nothing.”

  José climbed to his feet. “Let’s go.”

  The drive to the mess hall was made in silence. When they arrived, José stood in the food line with the boys and listened to them tease each other and talk about their day. While they ate dinner, the teens entertained José with stories they’d heard about Cruz, and Ben told José that he wanted to be just like Cruz except he didn’t want to spend time in jail. Cruz felt José’s stare burn into him, but he kept his eyes on his plate. His stint in jail would forever be a part of who he was and could never be erased. Surely the older man understood why Sara couldn’t risk being with him.

  “I have a question.” José spoke during a lull in conversation. “Are any of you members of the Los Locos gang?”

  The boys exchanged nervous glances, then a kid named Carlos raised his hand. “My brother’s a member.”

  “The gang is responsible for shooting my son.”

  “Was your son in a rival gang?” Carlos asked.

  “No. He was a medical doctor who volunteered at a clinic in Albuquerque. There was a gunfight between rival gangs, and a bullet came through the clinic window and hit my son in the chest.”

  Dead silence filled the dining hall. The boys dropped their gazes to their plates, then Maria sat down across from José and took his hand in hers. “I knew your son, Antonio. I was in Albuquerque picking up a boy to bring to the ranch when all of a sudden he didn’t feel well. I took him to the clinic before we left town. Antonio knew right away that Sergio’s condition was serious and insisted I take him straight to the emergency room. He called ahead and a team of doctors were waiting for us. They rushed Sergio into surgery and repaired his torn spleen. If I hadn’t stopped at the clinic that afternoon, Sergio would have probably died during the car ride to the ranch.”

  Maria made eye contact with each boy at the table. “This is what gang violence does. You think it’s just homies shooting homies, but it’s not. Innocent bystanders get caught in the crossfire and are killed, leaving their families to go on without them.” She stood. “Antonio devoted his life to helping the families in that community and gangs thanked him with a bullet. Think about that the next time you find yourself missing your old way of life.” Maria walked out of the mess hall.

  “I’m sorry about your son, Mr. Mendez,” Carlos said.

  Several “me, toos” followed.

  “Antonio was a good son. He cared about his patients,” José said. “And now his wife and his little girl are left alone to carry on without him.”

  Carlos left the table and rushed out of the mess hall. Cruz went after him and found him standing by the corral.

  The teen’s eyes shone with tears. “What if it was a bullet from my brother’s gun that killed the doctor? I remember hearing about a guy dying and the medical clinic shutting down after that.”

  “You’ll never know, Carlos.”

  “I don’t want to go home,” the teen said. “If I do, I know my brother’s gonna make me join the gang. My mom won’t be able to stop him.”

  “You’re right. There won’t be much your mother can do if your brother sets his sights on you.” So many kids were raised only by a mother—their fathers had abandoned them. It was a matter of survival in the barrio—each person for themselves.

  “Do you think Mrs. and Mr. Fitzgerald will let me stay here forever?”

  “Probably not forever, but they won’t turn their backs on you, Carlos.” They hadn’t turned their backs on Cruz even when he’d failed them.

  “I can’t go home.”

  “You’ll be stronger when you leave here. Strong enough to stand up to your brother and resist gangs. And maybe someday you’ll pay it forward.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Maybe you’ll help a kid just like you and save him from becoming a gang member.”

  Carlos shook his head. “A lot of good saving one kid will do.”

  “One kid at a time is all we can do. You’re that one kid right now.”

  “If Maria hadn’t talked the juvie judge into letting me come here, I’d be in a group home probably planning my escape.”

  “It’s tough not to keep thinking of the past, but you have to look ahead. Because the stuff in front of you is where you can make a difference and help the most.”

  “What about Mr. Mendez? No one can ever make it up to him after his son was killed.”

  “That’s true. We can’t bring his son back. And he did a lot of good for the community. But you can honor his memory by staying away from gangs and helping others like yourself keep on the right path.”

  “What happened to you? How come you ended up in jail?”

  “I was trying to help a friend from making a big mistake, but it backfired on me.”

  “That sucks.”

  “Yeah, it sucked. Big time.”

&nb
sp; “Are you gonna stay here and be a counselor now?”

  “For a while. It’s my chance to give back to the people who believed in me.”

  “I’m glad you’re staying. As much as I like Mr. Fitzgerald, sometimes he doesn’t understand what it’s like to be in a family like mine. But you get it. You’re from the barrio.”

  “I get it, Carlos. That’s why you and I have to do better.”

  “I’ve gotta study for a test tomorrow.” The kid took off, but Cruz wasn’t alone. José stepped from the shadows.

  “I’m leaving in the morning,” he said.

  Cruz nodded. Strangely enough, he’d miss the old man. “Tell Dani and Sara... Never mind.” It was best to leave well enough alone. He walked into the darkness. Alone.

  Always alone.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Where have you been, José?” Sara asked, startled to find him at the kitchen table drinking coffee early Saturday morning. She hadn’t heard him come in last night. The idea that someone could walk into her house and she didn’t hear them was another good reason to get a dog. “I’ve been worrying like crazy.”

  “I went to see someone.”

  “Who?”

  “Cruz.”

  Sara’s hand froze against the mug in the cupboard. She left the cup alone and turned. “Where is he?”

  José frowned. “He didn’t tell you where he was going when he left here?”

  She shook her head.

  “He’s doing what he believes is best for you and Dani.”

  Sara’s mind screamed with questions, but she held her tongue, still shocked that José had seen Cruz.

  “He’s working at the Juan Alvarez Ranch for Boys.”

  So Cruz hadn’t returned to the rodeo circuit. Instead, he’d accepted Riley Fitzgerald’s job offer. Part of Sara was relieved to know Cruz wasn’t being subjected to ridicule and prejudice at rodeos and wasn’t putting himself in situations that might result in him violating his probation, but she was also sad for him, because he’d never get the chance to fulfill a dream from his youth—becoming a saddle-bronc champion.

  José’s stare bore into her, his silence unnerving.

  “Why did you go visit Cruz?”

  “Because I can’t stand to see my daughter-in-law so sad.”

  Sara swallowed a gasp and went to the refrigerator, pretending to search for the peanut butter while she let her father-in-law’s words sink in. Obviously she’d done a horrible job hiding how much she missed Cruz.

  “I know about his involvement with the Los Locos gang.”

  Sara stiffened.

  “That’s why you’re not with him. Because you believe I’ll view your feelings for Cruz as a betrayal of Antonio.”

  Darn José for seeing through her. “You’re worrying for nothing. Whatever was between us...it’s over. I’m focused on the future.”

  “Don’t look me in the eye and lie,” he said.

  Sara swallowed hard.

  “You’re in love with Cruz Rivera. An ex-con who was once was associated with the gang that killed my son.”

  The blood drained from her face.

  José studied the coffee in his mug. “I saw a different man at the ranch,” he said. “A man with regrets. A man who’s willing to sacrifice his happiness because he wants what’s best for you and Dani. A man who believes denying himself is the only way to pay for his sins.” José straightened in the chair. “But I believe there’s a better way for Cruz to make up for the past and maybe, in a small way, make amends for Antonio’s death and honor his memory.”

  Sara forced herself to speak. “What way is that?”

  “Cruz Rivera can be the husband you always wished for and the father Dani never had.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I know you were lonely married to Antonio. He told me as much. He didn’t like leaving you and Dani alone, but he couldn’t ignore his calling to help others.”

  “I always knew that.” She’d understood that Tony’s absences weren’t because he didn’t love them, but because he couldn’t stop himself from helping others.

  “As for my granddaughter... Antonio should have been a better father. He should have made time for Dani. My heart hurts that he went to his grave without realizing how special his daughter was.”

  A tear rolled down Sara’s cheek.

  “But that little girl down the hallway—” José pointed across the room “—she’s bonded with Cruz. She feels secure and safe around him—something she never experienced with Antonio.”

  “Tony loved Dani, José.” He just wasn’t there to show it.

  “But Cruz loves her, too. And he’s not looking to save the world. He’s looking to make peace with himself. He doesn’t want to be famous or even noticed. He just wants to help troubled teens not make the same mistakes he made.”

  Sara was glad to hear Cruz had found a place where he felt at home. Felt needed.

  “He’s as miserable as you are.”

  Hope bloomed in her chest. “Did he say he missed me and Dani?”

  “I heard it in his voice. I saw it in his eyes.” José grew quiet.

  “He won’t come after you, because he believes you deserve better than him.” José’s piercing stare pinned Sara. “And you won’t go after him, because you believe your love for Cruz dishonors Antonio and will hurt me.”

  He finally got the picture.

  “I refuse to be the reason my daughter-in-law and granddaughter deny themselves the family they should have had all these years. I love my son and the two of you gave me a great gift when you had Dani. I’m sad that Antonio didn’t appreciate you and Dani more, but there’s no turning back the clock. You were a good wife to Antonio. A faithful wife. But now you must reach for your own happiness.”

  “José, I appreciate your understanding and compassion. But my job is here in Albuquerque. This city is full of bad memories for Cruz, and he won’t return.”

  “You’re a nurse. You can work anywhere.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “Go to him.”

  “I can’t live at the boys’ ranch with Dani.” She raised her hands in the air. “I don’t even know where this ranch is.”

  Right then Sara’s cell phone went off. She glanced at the number. “Alvarez Ranch for Boys.” She looked at José suspiciously. “Hello....Yes, this is Sara Mendez....Yes, thank you for looking after my father-in-law, Maria.”

  José shoved his chair back and left the room. Ten minutes later Sara hung up and found José sitting on the porch steps. “You set this all up, didn’t you?” Maria Fitzgerald had asked Sara if she’d be interested in running the health clinic at the ranch.

  “No. Riley Fitzgerald mentioned that the ranch could use a nurse on the premises to help with injuries and illness. There are almost thirty boys living there and a few girls, too. Maria is working as both teacher and nurse.”

  “I can’t take Dani to a place with troubled teens.”

  “There’s a school on the property and plenty of room to build a small home for the three of you. I think Dani would love being around the horses and the boys would dote on her.”

  “You sure are changing your tune. I’m guessing some of the boys at the ranch have anger issues. It might not be safe there.”

  “Cruz wouldn’t let anything happen to Dani. Besides, from what I saw, the boys looked up to Cruz and respected him.”

  Still...there was always the chance that one of the teens would fall back into their old ways and Dani might get caught in the middle of something that could hurt her.

  “Sara.”

  “What?”

  “Think with your heart, not your mind. Look where you live. There’s danger all around you. Yes, this is a family neighb
orhood, but you’re in the middle of the city. Anything can happen.”

  Her mind flashed back to the man in the window with a pistol by the Chinese restaurant she and Cruz had gone to. That had happened right in her backyard. What if Dani had been with them and the man had fired a gun? Her daughter could have gotten hurt.

  “As much as I appreciate Maria’s offer, I can’t accept it,” she said.

  “Why not?”

  “You just moved in with us. I’m not packing up and leaving you again. We’re a family.”

  His eyes twinkled. “It won’t be that easy to get rid of me. If you accept the job at the ranch, I’m going with you and I’ll work in the camp kitchen. They’re tired of hot dogs and beans. They want real Mexican food.”

  Sara squeezed her father-in-law’s hand. He’d love making meals for the kids at the ranch. And if they could stay together...why not? Everything seemed to be falling into place. But there was just one problem. “What if we show up and you got it all wrong? What if Cruz doesn’t want to be with me and Dani?” Sara didn’t want to force him to leave the one place where he’d found refuge.

  “You won’t know unless you talk to Cruz. Tell him how you feel.”

  If she and Cruz were going to have a chance at a lasting relationship, she had to be the one to go after him. “What if it doesn’t work out?”

  “Then you, me and Dani are still a family.”

  For the first time in months Sara’s heart lightened.

  “Okay. I’m in,” she said.

  “In what, Mama?” Dani stood on the other side of the screen door rubbing her sleepy eyes.

  “How would you like to live on a ranch with a lot of horses and bunch of boys?” Sara asked.

  “I like horses, but I don’t like boys.”

  José chuckled.

  “If we’re going to do this, I’d better give my two weeks’ notice at work.”

  “I’ll pack when you’re at the clinic,” José said.

  “Why are we packing?” Dani asked.

  “Mommy’s taking a new job as a nurse on a ranch.”

  “What ranch?” Dani asked.

  “The ranch Cruz works at.”