Identity

by Nat Burns

  She was a boxer mix, true, but that’s where breed semblance ended. Her coat was short and smooth like a boxer’s but was a strange pale color, lighter than the normal fawn. Her belly and wide chest were white, further adding to the paleness. She was elegant in form, with a longer leg and a more slender neck than most boxers Liza had seen, and her tail was undocked and bore long, wispy hair on it. Her wide face was masked with pale brown and had a thin white blaze between the eyes. The jowls appeared less pronounced than those of a regular boxer, but her body size was comparable to most.

  The ears were the clincher, however. Liza wasn’t sure of this dog’s lineage, but she was sure there was a springer spaniel in there somewhere. The tan ears were way too long for a boxer and bore a wealth of wispy curls, as did the tail. Hanging on either side of the blocky muzzle and sad boxer eyes, the ears were more comical than beautiful.

  Liza fell back into one of the empty desk chairs and the dog immediately moved to place her front paws on her knees. Liza absently rubbed the silky, strange ears.

  “She is a sweetie,” she said doubtfully. “A mixed-up sweetie.”

  Peaches lifted her muzzle and tremulously licked Liza’s chin, just once, with her wide, flat tongue. She was very gentle, and Liza sort of understood why, of all the pups at the shelter, this one would be Shay’s favorite.

  Peaches was watching her thoughtfully, her pug-nosed head tilted to one side. Her overlarge brown eyes were intelligent. Liza wondered what she might be thinking about all this interest.

  “You’re a good girl, aren’t you? A quiet girl,” Liza crooned as she caressed the dog’s long sides. Peaches chuffed in response and ran her tongue across her own moist nose. “Do you want to go live with the pretty redhead?”

  Peaches tilted her head the other way as if giving the matter serious consideration.

  Liza laughed and sighed. “Okay, let’s get her. But not a word, okay?”

  Carol nodded and Chris made a heart-crossing sign on her chest.

  Liza looked down at Peaches, who had collapsed her upper body onto Liza’s lap and appeared to be snoozing. “Man, I can’t believe those ears.”

  Carol laughed and gently tugged the dog’s lead. “Come on, Peaches. Back to your kennel, sweet girl.”

  “She won’t try to place her, will she?”

  “Who, Shay?” Carol shook her head in the negative. “She doesn’t deal with that part, only working them and doing some of the upkeep around here.”

  “She usually only comes one or two days a week,” Chris added.

  The three women walked together into the kennel area. Carol handed the lead to Chris with a smile of gratitude, and she and Liza continued outside into the bright late morning sunshine. They paused at a favorite picnic table and sat together facing the shelter.

  “What’s her history?” Liza asked. The sun felt good on her shoulders and she could feel sudden sweat pop on her brow.

  “You remember Mrs. Grayton, over behind the dollar store?”

  “Sure, she passed on about a week or two ago. Did Peaches belong to her?”

  Carol sighed and tilted her head back to feel the sun on her face. “Yep, from a puppy. Her nephew brought it to her from Tallahassee.”

  “Umm,” Liza acknowledged. She had followed Carol’s example and was resting her head on the picnic table to fully feel the sun on her skin, her arms and legs splayed out, her bottom on the seat and her feet on the grass.

  “So what’s the deal with you and Shay?” Carol asked after some time had passed.

  “She’s great,” Liza said. “Amazing.”

  Carol opened her eyes and studied Liza. “So, do you love her? Or is it too early?”

  “Love her so much it hurts,” Liza replied.

  Carol frowned thoughtfully and nodded, before gaining a new sunbathing position, much like Liza’s. “Well, that’s a good thing.”

  “Yes, yes it is.”

  They stayed silent for more than half an hour, enjoying the peace of the Alabama morning.

  “I have so much work to do,” Carol said wistfully.

  “Me too,” agreed Liza, “and I’m having dinner with Shay and some of her friends from DC this afternoon. I need to be over there in just a few hours to help out.”

  “That’ll be nice,” Carol murmured.

  Liza felt the picnic table shift and lifted one eyelid to see that Paul had joined them, splayed comfortably next to his wife.

  “Man, it’s a nice day,” he offered.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Liza arrived at Shay’s several hours later bearing two bags of ice as bidden, a bottle of blended blush wine, plus a big bunch of new asparagus from her garden. She had gone home to shower once more and dress for the evening and felt confident in her nicest jeans, dark blue shell and sky blue overshirt. She had even removed her usual small silver rings from her ear lobes and inserted longer gold dangles.

  Shay noticed immediately and Liza could see the appreciation in her gaze. “Well, someone got some sun today,” she said, touching Liza’s ruddy cheeks. “I think your hair is even more blond than usual.”

  Liza laughed, placed the ice in the kitchen sink and drew Shay into her arms. “It’s just clean, baby, that’s all.” She kissed Shay and felt her body swell as she inhaled the other woman’s characteristic scent.

  Shay entwined her hands into Liza’s hair and pressed her body close. Her kiss deepened and Liza felt longing sear through her.

  “I want you,” she said, breaking the kiss and roaming her hands along Shay’s sides.

  Shay smiled seductively and pulled Liza into the bedroom. Standing next to the bed, she slid off her jeans and panties in one quick move. She sat on the edge of the bed and spread her legs invitingly. One hand went low and spread her glistening folds in an unmistakable invitation.

  “I’ve been waiting for you,” she whispered.

  Liza groaned and fell to her knees. She kissed gently along each of Shay’s inner thighs until the redhead whimpered. Grazing her tongue along Shay’s fingers, she finally probed deeper, her tongue lapping Shay’s wetness and pressing upward behind the clit. Her left hand brushed Shay’s away, and she held her steady as she plundered the richness before her. The fingers of her right hand penetrated with agonizing slowness before plunging deep and hard. Liza’s tongue found Shay’s clit again and the slick, muscular walls of her passage throbbed against Liza’s fingers.

  Shay’s hands grasped the comforter on either side of her hips, bunching the fabric, pulling it loose. Her body lifted, pushing into Liza’s busy mouth. She stilled suddenly, bucked several times and then cried out her pleasure loud and long. Her body convulsed, inner walls grasping Liza tightly as if never letting go.

  “Oh, God,” Liza sighed, blazing paths of arousal and need making her feel weak. She knew she couldn’t stand, so remained kneeling where she was, her head resting on Shay’s thigh. Shay’s tightness finally eased so Liza could lower her arms and sink down, but she still held one of Shay’s legs with both arms, anchoring herself.

  “What time are they coming?” she whispered some time later.

  “Soon,” Shay answered groggily. Wearily, she pulled up, resting her weight on her bent elbows. She looked at Liza, noting the tortured need in the pale brown eyes. “Come here, baby.”

  Liza crept onto the bed and held Shay. Shay lifted Liza’s shirts and bra, then began feasting on the hard nipples. Every now and then, she would pause and rise to thrust her tongue deeply into Liza’s mouth. Soon Liza was gasping for air, and Shay reached into her jeans and brought her lover to climax with just a dozen expert strokes.

  They lay spent, but Liza fought sleep. “We gotta get up, honey. What else do you need to cook?”

  Shay gasped, waking fully, and then pressed her chest to Liza’s. “You make me crazy, you know that? I can’t believe I’m acting this way.”

  Liza nodded. “That’s my job, hon.” She pressed a kiss to a random patch of freckles that rested to the left of Shay’s l
ips. “Your job is to cook and clean and be my private sex kitten in the bedroom.”

  Shay sat up and patted Liza’s abdomen. “That’ll be the day. The cooking and cleaning part anyway.”

  Shay stood and moved carefully into the bathroom. Liza chuckled and pressed one hand over the crotch of her jeans as she listened to Shay hum while she washed up.

  She stood and slowly remade the tousled bed. Coming back to her senses, she grew thoughtful, remembering her ill-gotten knowledge. She realized she had to confess to Shay or it would bother her forever.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Later, in the kitchen, the two women worked together playfully to prepare the dinner. Liza set the table with china that Shay revealed had been used for more than fifty years. It was Noritake china and bore a beautiful spray of pale blue flowers. They looked like blue daisies rimmed in cocoa powder. She turned one of the fragile plates over and saw the design was named Sonnet.

  “That’s appropriate,” she murmured aloud.

  “Hmm?” queried Shay. She came from the kitchen drying her hands on a dishtowel. “Oh, the china. Isn’t it great? My mom had that since she and Dad got married.”

  “Make me nervous, go ahead,” Liza said, gritting her teeth.

  Shay laughed. “Get over it. If I were that worried, I wouldn’t be using it. Mom brought it out every holiday and birthday and it’s still going strong.”

  “Yeah, but you were an only child,” Liza retorted. “This wouldn’t last ten minutes in my house. I have two brothers and a careless sister, remember?”

  “This table looks fantastic. See, you have talents other than growing yummy veggie things.”

  Liza lifted a sarcastic eyebrow toward Shay. “I would hope so.”

  She laid the final fork. “There, all done.”

  “Good. I’m done in there too. Now we just wait,” Shay added.

  “Can we talk for a minute?”

  Shay looked worried. “Sure. What about? Everything okay?”

  Liza nodded. “Yeah, I hope so, I really do.”

  They moved into the living room and sat next to one another on the dark blue sofa that dominated the room. Liza took Shay’s hands in hers and took a deep breath. “This is tough,” she said. “And this really isn’t the best time.”

  They waited.

  “Just say it,” Shay cried suddenly, scowling at Liza. “You’re tired of me, right? I’m too pushy, lose my temper too much. Go ahead. Be honest. I can take it.” Her mouth grew grim.

  Liza squeezed her hands, sorry for setting off that touchy temper. “Calm down, honey. It’s nothing like that. I just want you to know that I know what happened to you.”

  Shay pulled her hands away and mercilessly screwed the dishtowel into a knot. “What do you mean?”

  “I know about Dorothy Pope.”

  Shay stood abruptly, slamming a hip into the high sofa arm in her haste to scramble away.

  “How do you know about that?” she whispered, eyes wide in terror.

  Liza moved toward Shay and, with gentle persistence, forced the woman into her arms. Shay tried to run away but was tenderly overpowered. She collapsed into Liza’s arms finally, her entire body shaking. Liza made soothing noises and caressed her hair.

  “Honey, I am not going to let her ever hurt you again. This is not something you need to worry about any more. Please believe me. It’s a solemn promise. I will do everything in my power to protect you.”

  Shay looked up at Liza, reassured by her steady gaze. “You don’t understand. You found out about her and me. That means there’s nothing that will prevent her from finding me when she gets out. Can’t you see? I’ve done so much to hide from everyone. She’s so damned smart, too, so I had to be extra careful. I had to give up everything, Liza, everything. And it still wasn’t enough.”

  Liza cupped the back of Shay’s head in her hand and pulled her close. “I know, sweetheart, but I didn’t have such an easy time of it. I found out only by asking my sister Chloe, who’s a paralegal, to look you up. She has access to records that not everyone can get to.”

  She moved Shay back so she could look into her eyes. “I’m not proud I did it, either. In fact, I’m ashamed and hope you’ll forgive me.”

  “Why did you do it?” Shay’s eyes were shuttered to Liza and it ripped Liza’s heart open to see the dejected air.

  “I was so...attracted to you. You were all I thought about every day when I woke up until I went to bed. But each time we came together, something happened to mess us up. I wanted to take control, I guess, and just fix things between us.”

  Shay pulled loose and turned away. Her anger faded. She thought a long moment then sighed. “I can’t be mad. I looked you up as well. On the Internet. I wanted to see if you really were a good guy. And you know what? You are a good guy.”

  She turned to look at Liza and the taller woman grinned widely in relief. “Are you sure, Shay? Are we okay?”

  Shay took Liza’s hand and pulled her back to the sofa. “Let me tell you about it.”

  Liza followed meekly, yet eagerly, and took a seat. She waited patiently as Shay gathered her thoughts together.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  “I met Pepper—Dorothy Pope—at this new club on the outskirts of DC. Everything was great at first. She was so energetic and exciting that I was…well…overwhelmed. She exhausted me. She worked as a supply officer for the government and worked really long hours but somehow always had more energy then I did.

  “I trained dogs then, had a huge business, and she seemed genuinely interested in what I did. I learned later it was all an act.” Shay’s mouth thinned as she remembered that particular betrayal.

  Her voice lowered.

  “Things were wild with her. We did things like break through a fence and then run across the Metro tracks with a train no more than a few yards away. Dangerous things. Promiscuous things. Things I would never do on my own. Over time I’ve tried to understand why I did these things and especially why I gave her a key to my house. I trusted her, I guess.

  “One day I came home from work and she had a woman there, a woman she’d picked up over on Dupont Circle in downtown DC, one of her favorite hunting grounds.”

  Shay sighed and looked at the hands clasped in her lap. “She wanted a three-way with this woman.”

  “My God,” Liza blurted. “What did you do?”

  “I said no, of course, but that made no difference. She told me I was stupid and old-fashioned, then she started sweet talking me and pushing me until…” She stood abruptly and walked to the sliding glass doors.

  “Things escalated after that. She burned me with sticks of incense and cigarette lighters. For talking back, she said. She once threw me down the steps in front of the Lincoln Memorial because I challenged her. That one put me in the hospital with a fractured shoulder and ribs. I think the worst thing was when she’d drug me and lock me away. It didn’t matter what appointments I had…what clients I needed to meet…what training schedule I’d set up. I’d wake up one morning and be locked away in a closet, listening to my cell phone ring in the other room. The first time it was just a few hours. Later it was for days. I became so afraid that I wouldn’t eat or drink anything she’d touched.”

  She paused and took a deep breath. “I can’t even begin to tell you how many clients I lost. I was lying to everyone, even my parents. I couldn’t tell anyone.” She looked at Liza briefly. “I was so ashamed.

  “When I started refusing the women, she beat me more, usually where no one could see. Never in the face. There was one woman I worked the dogs with, a woman named Carla. I showed her once, the bruises, the burns. She ended up testifying.”

  Shay turned from the glass doors, obviously irritated with herself. “Wait, I’m jumping ahead. The abuse went on for about two years. By this time, Pepper was having to supplement my income just so I could make the mortgage. This gave her so much power over me that it kept getting worse and worse. I started selling household things an
d jewelry on the sly and saved every cent I could. In cash so she wouldn’t know.

  “Eventually I had some saved and I sold the house and kennel through a separate postal box without telling her. I had the locks changed when she was at work and then I moved. I went all the way across town.”

  “Good,” Liza said quietly. “That was the right thing to do.”

  Shay shrugged and resumed her seat next to Liza.

  “I don’t know. Maybe not. It took her two months to find me, but she did and boy, was she angry.”

  She turned a keen gaze on Liza. “You know how she found me? By methodically watching at all the malls in the DC area during those months. Especially the pet stores and grocery stores. She was searching for my car, for me. Even though I seldom went out, she found me, just plain bad luck. She hid and followed me home. I didn’t know.”

  She sighed deeply and Liza could see the pain grow. “Then I went to visit my parents for one night. Mom was sick so I didn’t take Hattie with me…”

  “You put her in the kennel with the other dogs,” Liza offered.

  Tears cascaded along Shay’s cheeks and she brushed them away impatiently before continuing. “I did. Thought it would be a nice visit for her. When I came home early the next morning, I called to her and went out to let her come inside and…the gate was open. Then I saw them. They were so cold, just lying where she’d left them, not even on the sheepskins in their warm little houses or inside the shelter, but on the concrete and in the frozen grass. Several had fought back because they found her blood there, and it helped build the case against her.”

  “My God, what did you do?” Liza found Shay’s hands and held them to try and comfort her.

  “At first, I don’t know. After seeing them, I…I went out of my head, I think. Don, my friend who’s coming today, he lived a few houses down from me. I didn’t know him then, but he knew me by sight. He said he found me on his back lawn curled into a fetal position, right on the frozen grass. I was sobbing and muttering crazy stuff. After wrapping me in a blanket—he said I was blue from the cold—he took me back home but saw what had happened and rushed me to the hospital. He called the police on the way, which I don’t remember, and he also called a therapist friend, Rachel Frye, to meet us at the hospital. He told me later he knew how much I loved the dogs, just by watching me work them from his back porch deck, and knew I’d need some heavy duty help to get past it.”