Having Adam's Baby (Harlequin Special Edition)

by Butler, Christyne

As much as she hated to admit it, his gentle tone got to her. Besides, the idea of being alone with Adam during the drive to Laramie and home again wasn’t as bad as leaving Peggy without a car, especially if there was an emergency. “Fine. I need to close up and leave Peg a note.”

  She hurried past him and locked the front door, turning over the sign to indicate the shop was closed and would be open again in thirty minutes. Adam watched her every move and Fay found herself reaching to make sure her curls were in place, but stopped herself in time.

  “I’ll be right back.” Walking into the tiny office, she grabbed a notepad and scribbled a quick note to Peggy to leave on the back door.

  Two sharp bangs echoed inside the building. Fay ran back out to the shop before she recognized the noise as the sound of a car backfiring in the street outside.

  “Oh, that was the last thing I needed,” she whispered, placing a hand over her racing heart. Heading again for the rear entrance, she stopped and turned back around.

  Adam was gone.

  Chapter Seven

  His hat remained where he’d laid it on the counter, but Adam was nowhere to be seen. The front door was still locked from the inside.

  Where could he have gone? Out back to his truck?

  Then Fay looked down and saw the tip of his boots. Slowly moving forward, she stopped in front of her counter. Dropping to a low crouch, she was surprised to find the six-foot-plus cowboy had ducked beneath the work surface.

  Eyes wide, he scanned the area, his gaze passing over her as if he didn’t see her. His clenched fists rested on his bent knees. He stared without blinking.

  Fay didn’t have any idea where he was mentally, but she had a feeling the car backfiring out in the street had caused this reaction. She’d seen enough stories on the news and in magazines to realize Adam was suffering from some sort of post-traumatic stress courtesy of Uncle Sam and the United States Air Force.

  Her heart ached for him. She had to do something.

  Should she touch him? “Adam? Are you okay?”

  Nothing.

  She suddenly wished she’d paid more attention to those stories. For the past year, she’d avoided anything connected with the military. Selfish maybe, but she saw it more as an act of self-preservation.

  What should she do? Leave him alone?

  She didn’t want Peggy to return and find him like this. Adam would hate that.

  “You know, I never did thank you for the wildflowers.”

  Probably a silly topic, but it was the first thing that came to mind. Maybe if she just talked to him it would bring him out of the haze that seemed to envelop him.

  “I can’t b-believe you still found some shooting stars blooming this late in the spring, their pink coloring is so bright.” She fought to keep her voice calm and steady. “And the lupine and Wyoming paintbrushes are pretty as well, but I’m not sure how the sheriff would feel about you cutting down our state flower. I’m guessing you found them on your land?”

  His fists relaxed as she spoke, his fingers flexing.

  “I don’t remember seeing any around your house while I was working on the yard,” she continued. “Maybe they grow wild down by the riverbank?”

  His eyes closed and his head hit the wall with a soft thud. He slowly pulled in a deep breath, then released it. His chest rose and fell as he repeated the action twice more.

  The need to reach out to him won over her concern as to how he might react. Gently, she placed only her fingertips on his wrist.

  He immediately flipped his hand over, threaded his fingers with hers and held on.

  “Adam, it’s Fay.”

  “I know,” he said softly.

  “You’re squeezing my hand.”

  “I know.”

  She tried not to wince as the pressure increased. “Hard. You’re squeezing my hand hard.”

  His head shot up, eyes wide. He released her. “Oh, God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—dammit!”

  “Don’t worry about it.” Fay dropped her hand to her lap, ignoring the need to rub away the tingling sensation as her circulation returned. Bracing her other hand on the counter, she pushed to her feet. “Do you feel like standing now?”

  He didn’t answer, but scooted out from beneath the table.

  Back to his full height, he towered over her. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” But was he? She looked at him but his eyes seemed devoid of any emotion. “I don’t know exactly what just happened. Do you?”

  “Did I hurt you?” he asked, not answering her question.

  “No.”

  “Are you sure?” He placed a hand on the counter, dwarfing hers. This time it was his fingers lightly brushing over hers that caused the tingling sensation to flare to life again.

  “Y-yes, I’m sure.”

  She retreated from his touch, folding her arms over her chest. Her feet shifted as she tried to take a step backward, but the sales counter was right behind her.

  Lifting her chin, her gaze traveled upward over his broad chest and angled jaw until she looked him in the eye. “Are you okay to drive?”

  He returned her stare, his eyes clear. “Yes.”

  “Adam—”

  “It was a conditional reflex, Fay. We’ve had training on the possibility of PTSD. It’s something a lot of returning service members have to deal with.”

  “Have you dealt with any other reflexes in the week you’ve been back?”

  Instead of answering her, Adam reached into the front pocket of his jeans and yanked out a set of keys. He pulled one hand free from the bend of her elbow and dropped them into her upturned palm. “If it makes you feel better, you can drive.”

  Fay closed her fingers, the metal still warm from where they had pressed close to his body.

  What it cost him in male pride to make that gesture, she didn’t know. Other men would’ve tried to convince her that what she was asking wasn’t fair or reasonable, that her apprehension didn’t matter.

  Not this man.

  Adam had put her concern ahead of any embarrassment.

  “Are you parked out back?” she asked.

  He nodded.

  “Give me a minute to use the bathroom.” She handed the keys back to him. “I’ll meet you outside.”

  * * *

  Adam kept his focus on the road ahead, but he couldn’t stop from glancing over at the woman sitting in the passenger seat.

  Just as he’d done several times since they’d left Destiny.

  He’d scared her with his reaction to the piercing cracks that had him diving for cover. Hell, he’d scared himself, especially when she’d told him how hard he’d been squeezing her hand.

  It killed him to think he’d hurt her, but she’d denied it again when he asked.

  In all his previous homecomings, this was the first time he’d reacted to things like the helicopter on Monday and the car today. He tried to chalk it up to all the changes that had taken place in his life since his return, but he needed to talk to someone, to get a handle on whatever was bothering him.

  Before it got in the way of him being with Fay.

  Giving him back his keys showed she trusted him, but he’d seen the split-second hesitation before she’d made the gesture. They hadn’t spoken since they’d started out except for Fay telling him the address of her doctor’s office.

  “Does your doctor know I’ll be at the appointment?”

  Fay, startled at his question, turned to look at him. “Yes, I was actually on the phone with her when your father stopped by the shop this week.”

  The day after his mother had found a reason to do the same. He found himself grinning as he glanced at her. “Sorry about that. They’re excite
d about being grandparents again. Six sons and so far, Nolan’s the only one providing a new generation for them to spoil rotten.”

  She looked away.

  “Do your parents know yet?” he asked when she remained silent. “About the baby?”

  Fay shook her head, her fingers tightening on the water bottle she held in her lap. “I…I haven’t had a chance to call them. They’ve been on a trip to Europe for the last month.”

  “They live in the Southwest somewhere, right?”

  “Arizona.” Unscrewing the top, she took a long swallow.

  She’d brought three bottles with her when she’d gotten in the truck and two were already empty. At this rate, she’d be asking him to find another bathroom.

  “My brothers and their families are in Scottsdale and Los Angeles,” she continued, her voice low as she turned toward the door window. “Between the two, they have six kids now. My folks moved about ten years ago to be closer to them. Closer to their grandchildren.”

  An old memory resurfaced of the party he’d gone to the night of Fay’s graduation from junior college.

  Instead of focusing on their daughter, her folks had spent most of the evening praising the accomplishments of their twin sons and their career plans for law and medical school. Adam had actually been dumb enough to say something about it to Fay that night. Although she’d shrugged it off, he remembered the shaft of pain he’d seen in her eyes.

  Even last summer, when their focus should’ve been entirely on Fay and all she was going through at Scott’s funeral, her mother had seemed more concerned about getting home to the newest grandchild than her daughter’s grief.

  Suddenly, he desperately wanted to ask Fay to look at him now. To see if his questions had done the last thing he’d wanted to do—cause her more pain.

  “The next s-street is where you turn for the hospital.” The slight waver in her voice told him he’d done just as he feared.

  Determined to keep his mouth shut, Adam remained silent as they parked and headed inside. Ten minutes later, they were ushered into her doctor’s office.

  Despite his resolve, he was forced to do most of the talking. The doctor asked about his family’s medical history, not to mention a few direct questions about his past. He answered them all, feeling like a specimen under Dr. Smith’s microscope the entire time. Fay had told him she’d been coming here for years. That meant her doctor knew about her family, about Scott and all that had happened in the last year.

  Including how their child was conceived.

  Dr. Elizabeth Smith had begun sizing him up the moment they’d shook hands. Adam found himself wondering who exactly she compared him against.

  “Well, I think we’re done with the information gathering for now.” The doctor closed the folder lying in front of her. “If you can get me the missing information, Mr. Murphy, it will go a long way in ensuring not only a healthy pregnancy, but a healthy child.”

  “Of course, and please, call me Adam.”

  The doctor’s smile was genuine and he felt like he’d passed the test. “Now, to the fun stuff.” Both she and Fay stood. Adam did the same.

  “Adam, you can stay here while I examine Fay. I’ll send someone to get you when we’re ready to do the ultrasound.”

  His gaze shot to Fay’s, noticing the blush on her cheeks. “Ultrasound? Is something wrong?”

  “Everything is fine. Fay is heading into her tenth week and doing an ultrasound is pretty standard at this stage.”

  The soothing tone of the doctor’s voice reassured him, but it was the bright sparkle in Fay’s eyes that dropped him back into the chair.

  “Did you know about this?” he asked.

  She bit down on her bottom lip as she nodded. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”

  Adam grinned. “Mission accomplished.”

  The two women left the room and his grin disappeared. Other than the general knowledge that an ultrasound was a way to see inside the body, Adam had no idea what happened during an exam when it came to pregnant women.

  He thought about calling his mother, but dismissed the idea. He perused the doctor’s bookshelves, which contained complex medical journals. A stack of magazines caught his eye and soon he was flipping through them.

  An article on how a woman’s changing—and sometimes out of control—hormones during pregnancy was interesting, especially the part about increased sexual drive. Learning about the benefits of breast feeding only served to remind him how nicely Fay’s shirts outlined her curves. By the time he found what he was looking for a nurse had knocked on the door.

  “Mr. Murphy?” she asked. “If you’ll come with me, please.”

  Adam set the magazine aside and followed her down a long hallway. She knocked on a closed door, then waved him inside.

  He entered to find Fay the only one in the dimly lit room. She lay on a cushioned examination table, fully clothed.

  She turned to look at him. “Hey, you found me.”

  Hating that he had no idea what was going to happen next, Adam could only offer a quick nod.

  Fay pushed herself up on her elbows. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong.”

  “If this isn’t—if you’re not interested, you don’t have to be here.” She dropped back against the inclined end of the table. “I just thought you’d want to experience this.”

  He crossed the room in a heartbeat and reached for her hand, the same one he’d latched onto earlier this afternoon. “Believe me, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

  “Really?” This time it was Fay squeezing his hand.

  “Really.” He looked at her, gently brushing a curl from her cheek, his fingers staying by her ear. “You’re nervous, too?”

  She nodded as there was a knock at the door and the doctor entered. “Hey, you two. Ready for this?”

  “Yes.”

  Adam’s answer overlapped Fay’s and they shared a smile.

  “Okay, then. Let’s get to it.” Dr. Smith moved to the far side of the table, stepping around the machinery sitting on a cart. “Fay, let’s see that belly.”

  Fay released his hand and quickly undid the top button, lowered the zipper and then shimmied her jeans down past her hips revealing white lace underwear.

  Adam’s mouth went dry.

  The doctor then laid a paper sheet across Fay’s lower stomach, tucking it beneath the elastic of those sexy panties to hold it in place.

  Fay reached for his hand again, her touch causing Adam to blink hard and tear his gaze away from her smooth, flat belly.

  “This is a water-soluble gel that allows us to get a clear view of the uterus and the baby.”

  Dr. Smith squirted the substance over Fay’s skin. She flinched and gripped his hand. “Oh!”

  “What? Does that hurt?” he asked, tightening his hold.

  “No, it’s just a little warm.”

  The doctor grinned as she placed a handheld device below Fay’s belly button and slowly moved it back and forth. She turned her attention to the monitor, pressing buttons on the keyboard. “Okay, let’s see if we can find…”

  Her voice trailed off as a fluttering noise, like the flapping of a bird’s wing, filled the air. Seconds later the noise became a louder, steady beating.

  “What’s that?” Adam’s gaze bounced from the doctor to Fay’s belly to Fay herself, surprised at the bright sheen of tears in her eyes. “Fay?”

  “The baby’s heartbeat.” She closed her eyes and twin tears escaped down her cheeks. “That’s the baby’s heartbeat.”

  His own heart stilled as he finally understood. He leaned in closer and wiped away her tears, wanting nothing more at that moment than to kiss this woman, the mother of his child.
/>   Fay opened her eyes.

  She must’ve read his desire because she jerked her gaze away. “C-can we see anything on the monitor, Liz?”

  Adam stood silently as Dr. Smith explained what they were viewing, pointing out the small rounded shapes and assuring them it was the baby. Fay kept her eyes on the flickering black-and-white image. When Adam slipped an arm behind her shoulders for support, she only tightened her grip.

  “Everything looks really good. I can print out a couple of pictures for you today even though what you’re seeing isn’t much more than a blip on the screen,” the doctor said, then smiled.

  “Hey, that blip is my baby,” Fay protested, but her tone was teasing as she released his hand and leaned back, forcing Adam to remove his arm.

  “Next time we do this we’ll go high-tech.” The doctor set aside the equipment and turned off the machine. The room was quiet again as she gently cleaned the gel from Fay’s skin. “Get some three-dimensional images of the baby.”

  “Oh, I’ve seen those pictures online! They’re amazing!”

  The two women bantered back and forth, more like friends than doctor and patient. He hated to admit it, but Adam almost felt left out. Other than the moment when they’d heard their child’s heartbeat for the first time, Fay hadn’t looked at him.

  Was the thought of him wanting to kiss her really that distasteful? Or maybe the interest was only one-sided. He thought he’d seen…something in her eyes when she looked at him, but maybe that was wishful thinking on his part.

  “Okay, I think we’re all set.” Dr. Smith rose, her hand outstretched. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Adam. I’m sure I’ll see you at future appointments?”

  “Oh, we haven’t really talked about—”

  “Count on it, Dr. Smith.” Adam strong words outweighed Fay’s protest as he returned the doctor’s handshake. “I plan to be at every one.”

  She smiled. “Good. I’ll see you next month.”

  Then she was gone and it was just the two of them in the room.

  Adam turned to find Fay pulling the paper sheet free. “Ah, I guess I should leave and let you get dressed.”

  “That’s okay. I’m just about back together here.” She tugged on her jeans, lifting her backside off the table in order to get them back in place.