The Texan Quartet (Books 1-4) Omnibus

by Claire Boston

  They’d been walking for at least half an hour before Bradley asked, “How did you know?”

  Not sure what the boy was referring to, he said, “Know what?”

  “Know Grandpa was going to kill himself.” There was accusation in his gaze.

  “I didn’t.”

  “You must have, that’s why you always made me wait outside when I got home.” His voice wavered.

  “Let’s take a seat.” Tai led the way over to the same fallen tree that Piper had sat on and leaned against it. Where did he start?

  “You know Jerry had depression,” he said.

  Bradley nodded.

  “My dad had depression as well. When it gets bad it’s really hard for them to see any purpose to life.” As he’d got older he’d researched more and more into the illness, trying to figure out why his dad had chosen death over being with his children. In some cases depression could be genetic and he was scared he or Adahy could one day suffer from it.

  “Did he kill himself as well?”

  “Yes.” The pain of it was still a dull ache after all these years.

  “How?”

  It wasn’t a morbid question. It was a child seeking to understand.

  “He shot himself.”

  “Who found him?”

  If he closed his eyes he could still picture it. “I did.”

  Bradley reached out and grabbed Tai’s hand. “Then you know. I couldn’t wake him. I tried so hard but still, he wouldn’t wake up.”

  Jerry had chosen to slit his wrists, giving his blood to the earth. It was a tidier way to kill himself than blowing off the back of his skull.

  “He didn’t mean you to find him,” Tai told him.

  “I wanted to talk with Grandpa’s counselor. I was worried about him, but Grandpa wouldn’t let me stay at home.”

  “So what happened?” Tai asked. It would be good for Bradley to talk about it.

  “I got home and found the note on the table. It was meant for the counselor with instructions on who to call and where he was.” He looked up at Tai. “I didn’t know how long I had.”

  He understood. If he’d been in the same situation he would have run to find Jerry instead of calling for help.

  “He was in his favorite place, where he went to think. He was leaning up against a tree like always and I thought I was in time.” The boy’s voice broke.

  Tai put his arm around the boy’s shoulder.

  After a minute Bradley continued. “There was so much blood on his wrists and I couldn’t wake him. He wouldn’t wake.”

  Tears ran down his face and he sobbed, holding Tai tightly.

  Tai’s heart broke.

  He hadn’t been able to help. All the things he’d said to Jerry to convince him life was worth living, that Bradley needed him, were for nothing.

  Piper’s words came back to him. Not everyone wants to be saved.

  Not everyone could be saved.

  But damn it, he couldn’t see why not. Why was everything he was doing for his tribe still not enough?

  He hadn’t been able to stop this child going through the exact same thing he’d been through nearly twenty-two years earlier.

  They lost so many of their tribe through preventable causes: suicide, heart disease, diabetes. The Queche tribe was dwindling and not enough of the children were breaking the cycle.

  Bradley lifted his head. “Do you think Grandpa’s soul is stuck here?” he asked, his eyes wide and fearful.

  It was a question he’d asked himself as he’d got older about his own father. “We’ll give him a proper funeral, we’ll dance like we’ve never danced before and he’ll dance with us to the ancestors.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. I’ll even bet your Ka’ sa’ will come down to fetch him, and dance with him.” Bradley’s grandmother had died a year earlier – she had always been so full of life and had loved to dance at the celebrations.

  Bradley smiled. “She will, won’t she? We’ll make it the best celebration ever.” He got to his feet. “Let’s go back.”

  Tai followed him back along the path to Eyota’s house. There were still people coming and going, bringing food.

  “Tai, can we go back to my house for the lunch?” Bradley asked.

  It was traditional to have a wake of sorts the day after the person died, at their house. “Sure. I’ll let everyone know.”

  It didn’t take long to pack the food and start the calls to tell everyone the lunch would be at Jerry’s place. Tai drove the pickup with Eyota and Bradley, and stopped to pick up those who needed a lift.

  At the door to the house Bradley hesitated, took a deep breath and pushed it open. Tai followed him in and waited by the door while the child looked around.

  “I kind of expected him to be here,” he said in a small voice.

  “I know.”

  The boy walked through the few rooms and then back out to Tai. Tai stayed where he was by the door to give him space. In the kitchen Eyota was arranging the food.

  “OK, I’m ready. Do we need to heat stuff up?” Bradley asked.

  He wanted to be in charge and so Tai let him. “A few things.”

  “Let’s get to work then.”

  The boy was using the lunch as a distraction. Tai recognized it just as he supported it. There was too much for him to take in for one day. The grieving would go in stages.

  Together Bradley and Tai heated the food and spoke to the people who came to pay their respects. During the lunch, people told their own stories of Jerry – some stories of the trouble he got up to in his youth and others to do with his marriage and his children. Bradley listened to them all, smiling and asking questions.

  Mid afternoon Eyota came over to Tai. “Carl hasn’t turned up.”

  Tai had noticed, though he wasn’t sure whether it was a good thing or not. It really depended on what Carl had in his system. “I’ll find him,” he told his grandmother.

  After telling Bradley he’d be back shortly, Tai drove out to where Carl had his trailer.

  He knocked on the door.

  Carl was a couple of years older than Tai, but they knew each other from school and around the reservation. Carl had got involved in drugs at an early age and progressively moved to stronger and stronger ones in order to get his fix. It was a miracle he hadn’t died of an overdose already.

  When no one answered, Tai tried the door and found it open. He walked inside and called, “Carl, are you home?”

  As his eyes adjusted to the dim light inside he made out a body on the couch. With a hideous sense of déjà vu he rushed over and shook the man, checking his pulse.

  “I’m alive,” the voice grumbled.

  Tai stepped back, relief coursing through his veins. He sat down on the chair opposite and waited for the man to sit up.

  “What are you doing here?” Carl asked.

  “I came to see if you’re all right.”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  Tai was sure his grandmother had said someone had been out to tell Carl about his father but perhaps he didn’t remember. “Your father died yesterday.” His voice was gentle.

  “Killed himself more like it,” Carl said, screwing up his face in anger. “The selfish bastard said he’d take care of Bradley, and now he’s gone and done this.” He glared at Tai. “What am I supposed to do with him now?”

  Anger stirred in Tai’s veins too and he reminded himself Bradley was better off without his drug-addicted father. “There are others who will care for him.”

  “Good.”

  “Do you want a say in the ceremony?”

  “No. Do what you want.” Carl reached for a bottle of bourbon on the table and Tai knew it was time to leave.

  “Take care of yourself,” he said and walked out.

  He took some deep breaths as he walked outside. He didn’t want Bradley left with his father, though his mother wasn’t a great option either. Eyota was trying to track her down anyway, and someone had called Carl’s
sister. She was on her way from Austin.

  It was tough. At least when Tai’s father had died he’d been surrounded by family. There was never any doubt he’d have Eyota by his side, even as his mother had withdrawn from him.

  Well, he’d never let any doubt enter Bradley’s mind either. He would look after the child himself if it came to that. Though with his nighttime work, he wasn’t sure how he’d manage it.

  He drove back to the party and, when he pulled up, a car pulled in after him. He recognized the woman, though it had been years since he’d seen her. It was Carl’s sister, and Bradley’s aunt, Teresa.

  “Teresa,” he said and she glanced at him.

  “Tai, how is he?”

  “Bradley’s doing all right. He was enjoying stories of his grandfather when I left.”

  “And my brother?”

  “I’ve just come from there. He’s planning on getting drunk.” He stepped forward. “How are you?” Teresa had left the reservation as soon as she’d been old enough. She’d got a scholarship to college, and after she graduated, she’d moved to Austin where she’d married. She came back to the reservation for weddings and funerals but that was it.

  Her eyes filled with tears and she blinked them back. “It was probably inevitable. Dad let go of life when Mom died.”

  He hated that she accepted it. Hated that no one thought they could stop it. Now wasn’t the time to go into it though.

  “Do you want to come with me?” he offered instead, and led her through the gathering to Bradley.

  Tai stood back, watched the exchange, the perfunctory hug. Teresa was virtually a stranger to the boy. A glamorous stranger who turned up for special occasions, but didn’t stick around for long enough to get to know.

  She greeted some others and sat in the circle. Eyota handed her a plate of food and Teresa thanked her.

  His heart was so very heavy in his chest. In his tribe there were two types of people: those who felt trapped and escaped the moment they could and those who were happy to embrace their culture.

  He turned away, wanting to go for a walk, when another car pulled up.

  The woman who stepped out was someone he hadn’t seen in months, hadn’t even spoken to. A woman who hadn’t really been part of his life. A woman who belonged in the first category.

  “Hello, Mom.”

  Chapter 8

  Piper wished there was a way she could mainline coffee. Then she might have a chance of staying awake.

  She’d got about three hours’ sleep after leaving Tai before her phone rang, and she had to head out to a breaking news story. That didn’t stop her from sending Tai a text, and wondering how he was.

  Now however, she was desperately trying to seem interested and alert at an opening for a new public library. She swallowed a yawn and took some photos to go along with her article.

  The politician who was doing his speech was rambling, going on and on about his vision and about how important reading and literacy were for the community.

  She’d believe him if his party hadn’t tried to close three libraries on the outskirts of Houston six months back.

  Hypocrite.

  She wrote down a couple of quotes, and after all the speeches were done she interviewed some of the community members who had attended. They were all really pleased about the building and Piper was happy for them.

  She then escaped and headed over to Eat, Drink, Read to get another coffee.

  Elle served her, then sat down across from her. “Are you all right?”

  “Too little sleep last night,” Piper said and yawned.

  “What on earth were you doing?” Elle held up a hand. “Or don’t I want to know?”

  Piper laughed. “Mostly writing articles. Geraldine wants all ten interviews by the end of the week.”

  “And she’s not dropping any of your other stories?”

  “Of course not.” She sipped her coffee, hoping the caffeine would hit her system.

  “I didn’t expect to find you here,” a voice said.

  Her friend Libby was standing next to the table, carrying a laptop bag. Piper shuffled over so she could take a seat. “Coffee break.”

  “What happened to you? You look awful.” Libby hugged Elle and then sat and put her hand over Piper’s.

  Well, obviously the makeup she’d put on this morning wasn’t doing its job.

  “No sleep,” Elle told her. “She’s been working on those profile interviews.”

  “And I can’t figure out if they’re garbage or not,” Piper said. Every time she tried to read them, the words blurred. Either she was incredibly tired or they were incredibly boring.

  “Let me read them,” Libby said. “I’ll tell you.”

  Libby was an author, and she’d be able to tell if the writing itself was any good. Piper brought up the articles and slid her laptop over the table. “Go for it.”

  She leaned her head on her hand and closed her eyes.

  ***

  “These are excellent,” Libby said when she was done.

  Piper opened her eyes.

  Elle nodded. She’d been standing behind Libby reading over her shoulder. “I really like the ones of Tai. Why are there two?”

  Piper sat up straight. “Damn, I shouldn’t have shown you those.”

  “Why not?”

  “Tai doesn’t want it known that he does those things for the reservation. He wants me to run the piece focusing on his restaurant.”

  “He seems really private,” Elle said. “I imagine it’s personal.”

  “It is.” Piper checked the time, wondering if she should call him.

  “How much time have you spent with him?” Libby asked.

  Piper was reluctant to share her feelings about Tai. Perhaps it was because they were so new. They hadn’t even been for a date. It had all been business – well, almost all. “A bit.”

  Libby frowned at her, but Piper ignored it. “I need to get back to work.”

  “Have you got plans Saturday night?” Libby asked. “We could have a girls’ night. Talk weddings.” She glanced at Elle. “You haven’t done anything about organizing yours yet.”

  Elle smiled. “There’s no rush. It won’t change our relationship and I need to find out when my family can get to Houston. Besides, April might be a nice month for it.”

  Piper checked her calendar. “I can do something after seven.” Helping Libby organize her wedding had been fun and she was thrilled her other friends were getting married now.

  “George is going out, but why don’t you come to dinner at our house?” Elle said.

  “Great. I’ll call Imogen and confirm,” Libby said.

  Piper packed away her laptop and got to her feet. She had three more interviews for the series and next week her life would go back to normal. She hugged her friends and left, desperately hoping the caffeine would hit her system soon.

  ***

  By the time Piper dragged herself into her apartment that evening, she was ready to collapse. She’d lost count of the number of coffees and sugary cola drinks she’d consumed. She still had the interviews to write up but she needed sleep more. She set her alarm for an hour, pried off her shoes and fell onto her bed.

  When the alarm went off, she struggled to open her eyes. It felt like she’d only just closed them. Slowly she dragged herself out of bed and went into the bathroom to splash water on her face. The cold helped to wake her up. She had to get at least one article written before she could go back to bed.

  Getting some snacks out of the cupboard, she sent Tai another text.

  Hope everything is all right.

  It was a stupid thing to say. How could things be all right when a grandfather had committed suicide? She hoped Tai would understand what she meant.

  Tai would be surrounded by family at the reservation, she was sure of that. He would have the support he needed.

  She hoped.

  Munching on her snacks, she got to work.

  ***

  “I c
ame as soon as I could,” Tai’s mother, Jackie, said. She insisted on being called by her Americanized name.

  Tai tried to suppress the instant disappointment he always felt when faced with his mother. She’d always put work in front of family, so why should now be any different?

  He nodded and kept his distance. “How’s work?”

  “Busy,” she said.

  She’d worked her way up to manager at a local Walmart. He was proud of her, she’d worked hard for it, but as a child he’d resented her absence.

  “Adahy and Ka’ sa’ are in the crowd,” he said.

  “Are you leaving?”

  “Taking a walk,” he said and didn’t wait for her response. He needed to be by himself. He walked away from the noise and the laughter as they celebrated Jerry’s life and headed for the place where Jerry had chosen to die.

  It was a pretty little spot, though the light was fading. Someone had already laid flowers over the place where Jerry had sat. Tai stared at the spot wishing he could conjure Jerry’s spirit, wishing he could ask why, ask what he could have said to convince him to keep living.

  He’d thought he’d been making progress on Sunday, thought perhaps he was about to get through to him, but he’d been so very wrong.

  And now Bradley was going through the same pain he’d been through. At least he’d had Eyota, but Bradley’s mother had left, his father didn’t want him, and, unless Tai was very much mistaken, his aunt didn’t either.

  He needed to talk to Ka’ sa’ about what they could do for the boy. Eyota was getting too old to look after all the kids who needed a kind word and a helping hand. Maybe he could raise funds to build a youth center, somewhere the kids could go after school or if their parents weren’t around. He’d need to find someone to staff it too. It would take some of the burden from his grandmother and she could have Bradley live with her.

  Piper’s face came to his mind, which was completely ridiculous. He needed someone who knew the culture and understood all the issues they faced.

  Yet still the thought of her eased some of the trouble in his heart. He wished she were there, so he could let down his defenses in the protection of her arms. He only needed a minute before he’d rebuild them stronger than they were before.