Lost & Found

by Ashley John

  Oliver wanted to walk over and join him. He wanted to delicately wrap his fingers around his and stroke his hand with his thumb like he had at the party, but he stopped himself. The way Charlie had told him that he wanted to forget everything made him believe it.

  “See you tomorrow boys,” Porter called as he walked past Oliver's sports car giving it a jealous once over with his eyes, “no more drinking on a school night, eh?”

  With that, he jumped into his own little car and sped off into town. Oliver was jealous of Porter. Porter had the hot boyfriend, the career he wanted and a kid, even if he did sleep around on the weekends.

  Charlie slid his hands into his jeans pocket and continued to gaze out over the ocean, this time however, he was concentrating a little too hard.

  “You up to much tonight?” Oliver asked casually, joining Charlie on the ledge of the footpath.

  “I have a thing,” Charlie said, waving his hand in the direction of Evelyn’s, “I better be getting back.”

  “I'll drop you off,” Oliver smiled, “I've got my car today.”

  Oliver could see Charlie weighing it up in his mind. He glanced over to the flashy silver car parked carelessly outside of the club and his brow furrowed.

  Please, just say yes.

  “It's not far to walk.”

  “I don't mind,” Oliver said, already walking over to the car and pulling his keys out, “get in.”

  Charlie hovered on the edge, before following him. Suppressing a smile, Oliver ducked into the car and Charlie joined him.

  “I've had this for three years and I still can't get rid of the new car smell,” Oliver said as he turned the key in the ignition.

  As they drove through the quiet roads of Surf Bay, he racked his brains for something to talk about. The awkward silence between them was growing until Oliver couldn't stand it anymore. Pulling in on the roadside, Oliver decided they needed to talk.

  “Why have we stopped?” Charlie asked, looking nervously at Oliver.

  Pulling the keys out of the ignition to quiet the hum of the engine, he turned towards Charlie, noting Charlie fidgeting awkwardly.

  “We need to talk,” Oliver said after taking a deep breath.

  “It's not far from here, I'll just walk the rest,” Charlie said, reaching for the handle, “thanks for the lift.”

  Oliver reached out and pressed a button on the dashboard and the locks clicked shut.

  “Please Charlie, we need to talk,” Oliver sighed.

  “Just let me out,” Charlie turned to him, but his eyes were watery, like they had been when he'd pulled away from the kiss at the party.

  “What are you afraid of?” Oliver cried.

  His booming voice echoed throughout the car and Charlie stopped pulling on the handle and collapsed back into his chair.

  “I'm not afraid,” Charlie said quietly.

  “So why are you pretending?” Oliver snapped.

  “I'm not pretending anything.”

  Oliver sighed and rubbed his brow. He wanted to grab Charlie by the shoulders and shake some sense into him.

  “You're pretending that you don't feel it too,” Oliver whispered, reaching his hand out and setting it on Charlie's knee.

  “The only thing I'm feeling right now is that you should let me out of this damn car,” Charlie cried, “open the door!”

  “Not until we sort this out!” Oliver shouted.

  Charlie jerked his body around and stared dead into Oliver's eyes.

  “Sort what out?” Charlie cried back, “There's nothing to sort out.”

  “We kissed,” Oliver mumbled, “and I know you felt it.”

  “It was a drunken mistake,” Charlie dropped his eyes and stared at the steering wheel.

  “You had one drink!” Oliver shot back.

  Charlie flopped back into the chair and his foot started to tap rapidly on the floor.

  “It was a mistake.”

  “I don't think it was.”

  “You got what you wanted. You should be happy. You wore me down, now leave me alone.”

  “That's not what I want, not anymore,” said Oliver, “when I first met you, I wanted to claim you and have you, but then I started to feel something, and I can't go back.”

  “Well try,” Charlie snapped.

  Frustrated and angry, Oliver punched his hands down on the steering wheel, causing the horn to honk loudly throughout the street, surprising an elderly woman who jumped and tried to peer through the tinted windows.

  “Tell me you don't feel anything,” Oliver demanded.

  “I don't feel anything.”

  “Now look me in the eyes and say it,” Oliver cried, resisting the urge to grab Charlie's face and force him to confront him face to face.

  “Let me out Oliver.”

  “Look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel anything,” Oliver repeated.

  Charlie slowly turned to Oliver, his face bowed. He flickered his emerald eyes up to Oliver's and he waited to hear the inevitable. Oliver was ready to hear what he needed to so he could move on and stop thinking about Charlie.

  “I can't,” Charlie trembled.

  “Can't what?” Oliver demanded.

  “I can't look you in the eyes and lie.”

  ***

  Charlie's heart was pounding so fast in his chest he thought it was going to burst.

  “You can't lie?” Oliver asked, raised an eyebrow, “What does that even mean?”

  Charlie tore away from him and gazed blankly out into the main street of Surf Bay. Shoppers and tourists were walking up and down the streets, but Charlie wasn't looking at them.

  “I'm so confused,” Charlie groaned, dropping his head into his hands.

  “It's okay to be confused,” Oliver whispered.

  “I'm confused about everything,” Charlie moaned, “I was fine before I met you. These thoughts never entered my head. I was fine with Melissa.”

  There was a long pause before Oliver said anything.

  “Don't you think I'm confused?” Oliver cried, banging his head against the leather headrest, “This wasn't supposed to happen. I was meant to seduce you and then walk past you awkwardly in the street and enjoy watching you squirm.”

  “So what happened?” Charlie said, head still in hands.

  “I started to feel things,” Oliver said quietly, “and now I can't stop.”

  Charlie sighed. He could feel the tears fighting their way out, but he forced them back.

  “You don't do relationships,” Charlie said.

  “And you don't do guys,” Oliver laughed, “do you see the predicament we're in?”

  “Please, just let me out,” Charlie pleaded.

  He felt like the air in the car was suffocating him. He craved the fresh air out in the street, and to be back at Aunt Evelyn's in the safety of her big pink house.

  “You can't run away from me forever,” Oliver said, “we work together.”

  “So I'll get another job,” Charlie cried.

  Oliver sniggered, “I don't think you realize how small this town is. There are no other jobs.”

  “I don't know,” Charlie said, “I'll figure something out.”

  “Rather than just talk things through with me?”

  “Yes,” Charlie snapped.

  “This is so pathetic.”

  Charlie knew he was right.

  “What do you want me to say? That I can't stop thinking about the kiss? There, I said it,” it was Charlie's turn to beat his fists down on the dashboard.

  Charlie was hoping saying it out loud would have made things feel better, but it didn't.

  “I can't either,” Oliver sighed.

  “Great. So what now then?” Charlie snapped, “Do we run away together, or get married?”

  “Stop taking the piss Charlie.”

  “No seriously, tell me what happens next.”

  Oliver paused for a second before saying, “I don't know what happens next.”

  “Brilliant, so we've solved n
othing and I'm still locked in your car.”

  “I'm as scared as you are Charlie.”

  I doubt that.

  “Why are you scared?” he snapped.

  “Because believe it or not, I didn't want this, but I can't ignore what my feelings tell me.”

  “I need some space,” Charlie sighed, hitting his head against the headrest and staring blankly at the cream ceiling.

  Oliver reached out and pressed a small silver button on the dashboard and Charlie heard the doors click open.

  “Go on Charlie, have your space.”

  Without a second thought or even looking back at Oliver, Charlie yanked the door open and pushed through the crowds of locals and tourists.

  He held the tears back until he was safely behind the door at Aunt Evelyn's, but the minute the door closed he couldn't hold them back anymore. He felt like he was choking on them.

  “What's the matter boy?” Aunt Evelyn cooed from her favorite chair next to the window.

  “I didn't see you there,” Charlie said as he quickly wiped the tears from his cheeks.

  “It's alright. What are those tears for?” she was knitting something that looked like a miss-shaped jumper for a dwarf in her usual floral apron.

  “I'm fine, it's nothing,” Charlie tried to smile, but he felt like he was wincing through the tears.

  She set the knitting down and rested her hands gently on the armrests, “don't tell me you're crying all those tears for nothing. Come and tell me about it.”

  She patted the chair next to her and Charlie collapsed into the comfy floral seat.

  “Girl trouble?” she asked.

  You have no idea.

  “Something like that,” Charlie smiled.

  “Tell me about it.”

  I can't.

  “It's complicated,” he said.

  “I was married. I understand complicated, believe me.”

  Charlie took a deep breath and thought about the best way to phrase it without giving too much away.

  “I met this person,” Charlie started, “I didn't like them at first. In fact, I hated them. But some stuff happened, and we kissed, and now I don't know how I feel.”

  Evelyn groaned slightly and pursed her lips as if she was selecting the best piece of advice from her memories.

  “That is quite a pickle,” she whispered, gazing out of the window at the Cherry Blossom tree that was fluttering in front of her house.

  Charlie knew he had already said too much.

  “It reminds me of a story. Before I met my Frank, it was a difficult time. My father didn't want us to be together, but I loved him with all my heart. I had to choose between the love of my life and my family.”

  “What did you do?” Charlie asked.

  “Well, I waited for my father to die and then I married my Frank”

  Charlie raised an eyebrow.

  “Oh,” Charlie said.

  “The point is, I got what my heart desired in the end. If it's meant to be, then things will work out for you.”

  Charlie still didn't feel any the wiser. He didn't know what his heart or his head wanted. He couldn't think of anything other than Oliver and it was exhausting him.

  “Why didn't your father like Frank?” Charlie asked.

  “Because he was short.”

  She turned and winked at Charlie with a warm smile, which made Charlie feel better.

  “Charlie, when did you get home?” his mother wandered out of the kitchen and leaned on the chair behind him.

  “We were just having a little chat, weren't we?” Evelyn winked.

  He nodded, knowing that his secret was safe with her.

  “I've got some good news!” she smiled excitedly.

  Oh god, here we go. He braced himself for the worst. Most of her announcements usually ended with them moving or her finding a man.

  “I've found us somewhere to live!” she smiled, “It's only small, but it's big enough for all three of us!”

  “Where?” Charlie snapped.

  “It's just over the ice cream parlor in town,” she smiled, “Aunt Evelyn helped me find it.”

  “That's great news,” Charlie smiled weakly.

  He knew his mother was trying her best, and it would only mean good things for them as a family. It was very rare that she attempted to stand on her own two feet when they settled somewhere new.

  So why do I feel like I want to leave this town and never come back?

  Cha

  pter 12

  When Charlie awoke the next day, he was still feeling uneasy about the argument with Oliver. Convincing himself it was too early in his surfing career to call in sick, he dragged himself out of bed and threw on the first clothes he could find.

  “Good morning Charlie!” Porter cried as Charlie walked through the door ten minutes late.

  If Porter noticed the time, he didn't show it as he patted Charlie on the back and guided him towards the counter.

  “Morning,” Charlie grumbled.

  Porter wasn't getting any of his attention, instead he was glancing around the Surf Club trying to spot Oliver, hoping that he'd decided to call in sick.

  “I've got a very special day for you today,” Porter beamed, rooting under the counter, “today's the day my friend that you learn to surf!”

  Oh god, not today, please!

  Charlie faked excitement, but when Porter threw him the gray and blue wetsuit that had caused all the problems in the first place, he filled with dread.

  Luckily for him, Porter had replaced the flimsy curtain with a wooden door and a lock, and even though it had a large gap at the top and the bottom, it was enough to keep Oliver from barging in and putting his hands all over him.

  Charlie copied what Oliver had done and the wetsuit slid on like a dream and he even managed to zip his own back up without any problems.

  “I got it on fine this -” Charlie started as he opened the cubicle door, but when he saw Oliver standing in front of him in a matching wetsuit, the words vanished from his mind.

  “Hi,” Oliver said quietly¸ “ready for your surf lesson?”

  “This is a joke right?” Charlie whispered back.

  “Afraid not,” Oliver's mouth warped into a crooked smile, but it wasn't his usual cheeky smile, it was cold and nervous.

  So much for space.

  ***

  As Charlie stood uncomfortably in front of him, Oliver didn't know what to feel. When Charlie jumped out of his car, he sat staring into the road for what felt like a lifetime before he found the strength to finally drive home.

  “Not so hard the second time is it?” Porter called over.

  Charlie said something cheery, but Oliver didn't hear it. He was too busy staring into Charlie's eyes, trying to see some of the warmth that he loved, but they were glazed over.

  “Are you ready?” Oliver said, trying to sound enthusiastic.

  “Yep,” Charlie clamped his lips together into something that resembled a smile.

  As they walked down to the beach in a frosty silence, Oliver thought to himself that he'd never experienced a kiss with such a backlash before. Usually, after he kissed someone, they wanted to rip his clothes off and jump into bed. He never expected so many feelings to be involved.

  It was even harder for him to know that Charlie had the same feelings, but he was suppressing them.

  “Have you ever surfed before?” Oliver asked as they reached the edge of the water.

  He dumped the two boards on the sand and let the water lap up onto his exposed toes

  “I used to skateboard in middle school, but I've never surfed,” Charlie mumbled.

  “That's a good start though. It's all about the balance and timing really,” Oliver said, feeling himself relax as he slipped into teaching mode, “I can't see you as a skater.”

  Oliver laughed awkwardly, but Charlie smiled slightly and rubbed his arm through the material.

  All this over a stupid drunken kiss.

  “I wasn't really a ska
ter,” Charlie said after a moment's silence, “It was just cheaper than a bike.”

  “Very wise,” Oliver said as if he was talking to a complete stranger, “the waves are good today, so it shouldn't be too hard.”

  Autopilot took over and Oliver showed Charlie the basic moves on the board, still on the safety of the sand. As he rattled through the theory and the safety instructions, he felt his nerves ease, and when Charlie started to ask questions, he knew his were easing too.

  “So I just lie on my front, and then flip up on to my feet?” Charlie asked, performing the maneuver with more skill than Oliver expected.

  “That was perfect,” Oliver cried, giving Charlie a congratulatory slap on the back.

  His fingers lingered too long on the tight material, but it felt like he was touching hot coals. When Charlie's eyes dropped to the sand, he knew it was time to lower his hand.

  “Let's get out into the water,” Oliver said.

  As they paddled out to sea on their bellies, Oliver's nerves melted away and he felt at one with the water. Whenever he was in the ocean, all of his fears and worries disappeared instantly. It was like the warm waves washed his cares away, leaving his mind clear to concentrate on the surf.

  When they were out far enough, he turned back to the Surf Club which looked like a little wooden dot on the far edge of the beach. His feet splashed in the deep water below as he let the sun beat down on his wet hair.

  “Where are the waves?” Charlie called across.

  “They're coming.”

  As if he'd called them with his words, they started to gently bob up and down on their boards and in no time, tiny waves were pushing them back towards the shore.

  “Right!” Oliver cried, “Remember what I said. Swim against the waves, get as far out as you feel comfortable, turn around and ride the waves back in at your own pace.”

  “When do I stand up?” Charlie asked.

  “Hold your horses tiger. Start slow. We'll wait for the bigger ones to start showing off.”

  Oliver heard Charlie laugh and it was the first genuine laugh he'd heard from him all day which warmed him more than the hot sun above.

  As he rode the waves like a pro, he felt more at home than anywhere else in the world. The rush he felt when he hit the wave just at the right point and got the most from it was exhilarating.