Lost & Found

by Ashley John

  Chapter

  24

  “C'mon Poppy,” Charlie cried, “just pack your bag!”

  “I'm not going,” she screamed, throwing herself face down onto her bed, “you promised we'd stay!”

  He didn't know how to explain it was what was best for them. She wouldn't understand if he told her about the rent and bills that were soon to come flooding in.

  “I know it's hard,” he sighed, sitting on the bed next to her and stroking her vibrant curls, “but it's just another adventure for us. You like adventures don't you?”

  She leaned her head to the side slightly and nodded, but she was still pouting into her pillow.

  “It's going to be fun,” he lied, trying to hide his own pain, “we're going to Colorado! We've never been there before.”

  “But I like Surf Bay,” she sighed, rolling over to stare sadly at her brother.

  “I do too Poppy,” he gently stroked her face, “I do too, but Mom needs a job and there's nothing here. Get your clothes together.”

  The slam of the apartment door and the footsteps up the stairs told Charlie that his mother had returned from the train station with the tickets.

  This is it, it's really happening.

  “Did you get them?” he asked walking through the living room.

  The envelope in her hands told him that the money had gone through okay and it was becoming a reality.

  “The train is at 1:10pm tomorrow,” she sighed, collapsing into the sofa, still clutching the envelope.

  “Here we go again then,” he sighed collapsing next to her.

  “I really am sorry about all this,” she whispered, smiling meekly at Charlie, “I honestly wanted this to work out so much.”

  “Me too mom,” Charlie whispered back, “but it's done. We're going to a city where there's going to be plenty of jobs, so we'll be fine. There's nothing left for us here.”

  Even as Charlie said it he knew he was lying to himself. He knew he had Oliver, but the thought of leaving hurt too much.

  “I couldn't bring myself to tell Aunt Evelyn,” she sighed, “she'd try to convince us to stay with her, but I know she couldn't afford it any more than we could. Not for long anyway.”

  In all of the chaos, Charlie hadn't paused to think about Aunt Evelyn. He knew it would devastate her when she heard that they'd skipped town without saying goodbye. The only person that knew was Oliver, and even he didn't know when and where they were going.

  I'll just slip away.

  When the pounding on the door started, Charlie instantly knew who it was. He hadn't told his mother about Oliver paying Finley off, so when she jumped and squashed herself into the corner of the sofa he wasn't surprised.

  “I don't think it's who you think,” Charlie sighed.

  It looks like I'm going to have to say goodbye after all.

  ***

  Oliver's hands were shaking out of control as he banged down on the wood again.

  When the door swung open and Charlie stood in front of him, he couldn't help himself when he dived on him, pulling him into a fiery kiss.

  “Oliver, no,” Charlie cried, pushing him off.

  “I can't let you go Charlie,” Oliver mumbled, his eyes still stinging from the tears and afternoon of heavy drinking in his car.

  “It's too late,” Charlie sighed, “the tickets are booked. We're leaving in the morning.”

  Oliver instantly felt nauseous, but he didn't know if it was from the half bottle of vodka or the realization that it was actually happening.

  “Why am I not enough for you?” Oliver slurred, “Was I not good enough for you? You have no idea how hard I’m trying to keep you here.”

  He stumbled to the side and quickly clutched onto the doorframe.

  “Please Oliver, don't make this any harder than it is,” Charlie whispered.

  Oliver could see him glancing up and down the street trying to make sure people weren't staring. You always cared too much about what other people thought.

  “Did I not satisfy you? Is that what it is?” Oliver cried, throwing his hands out.

  When his finger struck the doorframe heavily, he wanted to feel something, but the Vodka had killed more than the aching in his chest.

  “I need to put my family first,” Charlie said calmly, “this is so difficult for me, but I need to be sensible. There's no work here.”

  “You know what Charlie,” Oliver messily pointed his finger in his face, “I don't think you ever cared about me like I care about you. I think you just couldn't understand why I made your dick so hard so you thought you'd do some experimenting on your little stop in Surf fucking Bay.”

  “You know it wasn't like that,” Charlie cried.

  Oliver could hear the anger in his voice, but his mind was clouded. He didn't care to hear the excuses. All he cared about was vocalizing his heartbreak.

  “You gave me your virginity, and then you get on a train and piss off somewhere else to break another heart,” Oliver slurred, “I bet you have a boy in every port and tell them all the same bullshit story.”

  “Do you honestly believe that?” Charlie snarled through gritted teeth, “Because if you do, you weren't the man I thought you were.”

  “What did you think I was?”

  Oliver's eyes crossed and blurred out of focus as he tried to stare into Charlie's eyes. In the sun, they were swirling more than ever, or maybe that was the Vodka.

  “I thought you were an arrogant asshole at first,” Charlie spat, “you acted like a proper douche, but you changed, and I saw something in you that I liked. I saw a soft side and I realized I didn't care about your gender. I just cared about you.”

  Oliver could hear the words, but they weren't sinking in.

  “Blah, blah, blah,” Oliver mumbled, “you're still going!”

  “I need to for my family,” Charlie cried, “my mom's found a job and we need to chase it because we don't all have a trust fund.”

  “You were always jealous of my money,” Oliver mumbled, swaying on the spot.

  “You're being stupid now.”

  You're the stupid one.

  “Were you even going to say goodbye?”

  “No,” Charlie said bluntly, “I'm not good with goodbyes.”

  Oliver couldn't help himself, but the laughter bubbled from his stomach, up his throat and spat out of his mouth. It was hoarse and sinister, but it quickly turned to tears.

  “I'm so sorry,” Charlie mumbled.

  “This is so easy for you,” Oliver sobbed.

  “It really isn't Oliver,” Charlie croaked, “the way I feel about you is something new. I've never felt like this about anyone else before and it breaks my heart to leave it behind.”

  “If this is how you treat people you claim to love, I'd hate to see how you treat your enemies.”

  An elderly couple dodged out of the way of Oliver as he swayed around the sidewalk. The woman raised her hand to her mouth as she stared with concern at the drunken mess that Oliver had become.

  “Piss off!” he screamed in the woman's face.

  She mumbled something and dragged her disgruntled husband off down the street.

  “I think it's best if you just go home,” Charlie said, “and forget about me.”

  “I'll never forget you Charlie,” Oliver snarled bitterly, “I gave you my love, and what did you give me in return? Heartbreak!”

  “You have my heart,” Charlie whispered.

  Through his drunken haze, he could see the tears tumbling down Charlie's cheeks. Deep down inside, the real Oliver wanted to reach out and hold him, but the drunken monster wanted to push him further away.

  “What am I going to do with that?” Oliver whispered, prodding Charlie in the chest heavily.

  He could feel himself falling backwards, and before he could stop himself, he lost his footing and crashed down on the pavement with a heavy thud.

  “Oliver!” Charlie cried, running out of the doorway and linking his arms around him.

&nbs
p; “Get off me!” Oliver cried, pushing Charlie messily away, “Go to Colorado. See if I care. You'll have a new man there in hours. I've heard it's bursting at the seams with pretty boys.”

  “Goodbye Oliver,” Charlie whispered gently.

  The door closed and Oliver was alone. People were walking around the drunken teenager lying in the street, but they didn't stop to help him up. He didn't want them to. He never wanted to be touched ever again.

  He felt a fresh wave of tears build up in his stomach, but as the water collected in his mouth and he hurled up his guts in the street, he realized he had more than tears making their way out.

  Stumbling up from the ground, he stepped in a pile of his own vomit and he could sense the onlookers pointing and whispering, but he didn't care. He was mentally daring one of them to talk to him so he could take his anger out on someone.

  Awkwardly, he stumbled into the road and when he reached the other side, he found himself outside of the burnt out diner.

  This is all your fault.

  He kicked the crumbling brickwork heavily with his sneaker, but this time the vodka wasn't enough to numb the pain and he felt his big toe crunch.

  Falling back to the floor, he closed his eyes. The darkness was quickly filling up his mind and he was begging it to take him.

  Please, make this pain stop.

  When his eyes shot open, a small crowd of people had gathered on the other side of the road, staring at the drunk who couldn't stay on his feet, but Oliver wasn't interested in them.

  He stared up at the ‘FOR SALE’ sign that was jutting out from the side of the burnt out building and focused on the tiny letters that were dancing from side the side and blurring into each other. Squinting, he concentrated for long enough to read the small words that read 'Fire Damaged Commercial Property. Low Price for Quick Sale'.

  Good luck to the idiot who buys it.

  ***

  “Why didn't you tell me?” Charlie's mother sighed as he walked back into the living room.

  “Tell you what?” Charlie mumbled casually.

  He knew exactly what she was talking about.

  “I heard everything,” she cried, “you were hardly quiet about it.”

  He'd been so adamant he was going to tell his mother everything himself when the time was right, but that time never came.

  “Does it matter now?” he sighed, heading towards his bedroom to finish packing, “It's over.”

  “Do you think I'm stupid?” she asked caringly, “I've had my suspicions about what was going on, but it would have been nice if I didn't have to overhear it. You should have just told me that you were gay. I noticed the way you acted around each other and the way he looked at you.”

  “I'm not gay,” Charlie snapped, “and it's too late now. We're leaving in the morning.”

  “Charlie, you can talk to me,” she said, reaching out and touching his arm gently, “I'm your mother.”

  Bowing his head, he could feel more tears starting to collect along his lash line but he didn't want to let them out.

  It's too late to cry.

  “It was complicated,” Charlie whispered, “I didn't plan it.”

  “Come here,” she sighed, pulling Charlie into a tight hug, “I love you no matter what you do. Oliver is a nice boy.”

  But it's too late.

  Charlie wanted to pull away and run back into the street to hold him and never let go, but he stopped himself. He knew it would only make things harder than they already were.

  “I'd better finish packing,” Charlie said, pulling away from his mother.

  “You can stay in touch with him,” she suggested, “and visit. Where we're going is only half a day's drive.”

  Smiling, Charlie admired his mother's optimism because as far as he was concerned, Oliver might as well be in on the other side of the world. What they had wouldn't work down the phone or with the occasional visit.

  Heading into his bedroom to collect the socks that had found their way under his bed, he tried to convince himself their weird relationship was doomed from their very first meeting, but even as he did, he knew he was trying to kid himself.

  I really do love him.

  Chapt

  er 25

  As he stood in the middle of the apartment, clutching his bags, he could feel the sleep tormenting him in the back of his mind. He'd spent the majority of the night drifting in and out of a restless sleep. Each time he closed his eyes, Oliver's face would burn loudly in his mind.

  “Where's Coralado?” Poppy cried, dragging her bag from the bedroom, “Will the house be pink?”

  “It's called Colorado sweetie. It's a couple of states over, and I don't know if Amber's house is pink or not.”

  This didn't surprise Charlie. She'd never mentioned an 'Amber' before and she had been vague about how well she really knew her. He doubted she even knew what the front of her house looked like.

  It made Charlie realize that they could have ended up at Amber's instead of Aunt Evelyn's and he might not have ever met Oliver.

  Maybe that would have been a good thing.

  “I hope it is pink,” Poppy sighed as she dragged her bag next to Charlie before sitting on it.

  “We'll have to wait and see,” their mother snapped, glancing at her watch nervously, “that taxi should be here by now.”

  Charlie clutched his hands tighter around his bag as he stared around the apartment. He couldn't look at the paint on the walls or the furniture without thinking about Oliver.

  Dammit, stop wasting your thoughts.

  A horn beeping outside echoed up the staircase and hit Charlie.

  “The cab's here,” she cried, grabbing her bag and running down the stairs “Charlie, grab Poppy's bag.”

  Charlie picked up his sisters bag as she ran excitedly towards the door after her mother, but he didn't follow. Instead, he looked slowly around the apartment.

  “Charlie! What are you doing? We need to go!”

  “I'm coming,” Charlie sighed.

  How did it come to this? He switched the lights off, and slowly walked down the pink staircase, closing the door with a loud thud.

  Why does it always come to this?

  As the cab drove through Surf Bay, Charlie sunk down into his seat. He didn't want Oliver or Porter to spot him making a backdoor exit. When they drove past the Surf Club, he was suddenly filled with guilt for not even saying goodbye to Porter.

  The way I've acted these last few days, I'm surprised he didn't sack me.

  When they drove past Aunt Evelyn's pink house, the guilt grew even deeper. He noticed his mother glance the other way and fix her eyes on something in the distance. She had been there in a time when they really needed her, and they weren't even saying goodbye to her.

  This isn't right.

  “Can you drive a bit faster please?” his mother asked, glancing nervously at her watch.

  “There is a speed limit y’know,” the driver snapped.

  He mumbled something that sounded like 'damn tourists' under his breath as Charlie was sure he felt the cab slow down.

  “The train leaves in 15 minutes,” she fidgeted in her seat, “we can't miss it.”

  Maybe that wouldn't be so bad.

  As they headed up the winding cliff side road, they drove past the place where Oliver and Charlie had sat drinking wine and watching the small town until the sun rose, but he couldn't bring himself to look. It was like he was being taken on a tour to remind him of all the happy times he'd had in Surf Bay.

  When they reached the other side of the cliff and the cab started to descend towards the train station, Charlie could feel his stomach bubbling with guilt.

  “What sort of work are you doing in Colorado?” Charlie asked, trying to distract his mind.

  “She said it's a cleaning job in a factory of some sort,” looking ahead out of the cab window, “I think she said it manufactures tinned food. I could be wrong.”

  Well I'm glad you know so much about our new life. />
  When the cab finally pulled up outside of the train station, they had just over 5 minutes to unload their luggage and find their train. Even by his mother's usual standards, they were cutting things fine.

  “Here,” she thrust the cash into the driver's hand, “keep the change.”

  Charlie wanted to roll his eyes, but it didn't surprise him that his mother was being so loose with the money that her friend had wired. She was the type of woman who never had money, but when she did, she didn't know what to do with it.

  That's what got us into this mess.

  “Come on kids,” she cried as they ran across the train station car park towards the platforms, “we don't have long.”

  Carrying both his and Poppy's bags, he joined his mother in jogging across the car park, but when he saw a familiar silver sports car out of the corner of his eye, he stopped dead in his tracks and the bags slid out of his hands.

  Loads of people must have that car.

  He paused, raising a hand to his brow to shield his eyes from the bright sunlight as his heart thumped faster than it ever had before.

  “Charlie!” his mother screamed, “We don't have time for sightseeing!”

  Charlie snapped back and glanced at his mother who was dragging Poppy across the car park yards ahead. Quickly, his eyes darted back to the silver car, and as he squinted trying to see through the tinted windows, the door suddenly opened and the last person he wanted to see jumped out.

  The thumping in his chest sped up before stopping completely as he held his breath. Oliver slammed the door of his car and ran across the hot asphalt towards him.

  No. Not this. Not now.

  “Charlie,” he panted as he reached him, “I thought I'd missed you. Oh god, I thought you'd gone.”

  “Oliver,” Charlie cried, “I don't have time to do this. I need to go.”

  His heart started to race again, but it was racing because of the urgency of the situation. He needed to go, and fast.

  “Charlie!” she screamed, “The train is pulling in! C'mon.”

  “I need to go,” Charlie whispered, the tears already welling up in the corners of his eyes, as his lips twitched and trembled, “I'm sorry Oliver. I need to go.”