Secret Admirer

by Melody Carlson

  “Okay,” said Morgan. “Do you think that the thoughts you had about Tyler were inspired by Jesus or by yourself?”

  Amy considered this then frowned. “Probably myself.”

  “Is that sort of how it was with Brett?” asked Emily. “Did you think about him a lot?”

  Amy wanted to say “duh,” but controlled herself and simply nodded.

  “And where did that get you?” asked Morgan.

  “Nowhere,” admitted Amy.

  “Worse than nowhere,” pointed out Carlie. “It made you miserable. We saw you, Amy. You were a mess.”

  “Yeah.” Amy sighed. “You’re right.”

  “So, just think about it,” said Morgan. “Do you want Jesus to lead you and help you keep your mind on things that are good for you? Or do you want to just let your mind wander down any old back alley?”

  “Where you could get mugged,” added Emily.

  “I see your point,” said Amy.

  “And it’s really simple,” said Morgan. “You just need to pray and ask Jesus to lead you … just ask him to change your ways of thinking so that you’re more like him.”

  “Like when you got that Lonely Hearts Club idea,” said Carlie. “I think that Jesus must’ve helped you with that one.”

  “And that’s what we were just talking about,” said Emily.

  “While you were zoning,” added Morgan.

  “Sorry,” said Amy. “By the way, my mom said it was fine to use our kitchen to make cookies.”

  “Great,” said Morgan. “Everything seems to be coming together!”

  As they went into the school, Amy tried to replay the mini-sermon that Morgan and Emily had just given her. In some ways it made sense. And it was true that Amy wasn’t that comfortable when her mind started to obsess over Tyler. She knew it didn’t even make sense. For one thing, she barely knew the boy. For another thing, she really didn’t want to be totally humiliated again. And so, just as she thought she was getting a handle on this, she saw Tyler and Brett walking by, and it seemed that her friends’ words just vanished in a puff of smoke.

  chapter eight

  “Okay, this is what I found out,” whispered Chelsea as she and Amy exited the cafeteria after lunch. “Tyler thinks you’re nice and smart.”

  “He said that?”

  Chelsea nodded happily. “And I can tell by the way he said it that there’s something more behind it, Amy. I think he really likes you!”

  Amy let out a happy squeal.

  “So, let me know how English goes,” said Chelsea.

  “Absolutely,” said Amy.

  Now Amy couldn’t wait for her last class of the day. In fact, it made it hard to focus during her other two classes. As a result, she made a stupid mistake on the chalkboard during Algebra Two.

  “Way to go, Second Chair,” teased Oliver as Amy returned to her desk feeling completely humiliated. “Can’t keep your mind on the numbers today, eh?”

  Naturally, she ignored him. But, even as she did, she couldn’t help but remember what Morgan and Emily had told her earlier. And she had to ask herself — just who was controlling her thoughts now?

  Finally, it was English, and she got to sit right next to Tyler as they plotted the ending of their play. Amy was glad that Myrna and Bruce didn’t seem to care how the play ended, as long as someone else did the work. That was fine with Amy.

  “You’re really good at this, Amy,” said Tyler as the class ended. “I’m glad I got to be in your group.”

  “You had some great ideas too,” said Amy. “I liked how you had Kent talking about being the big football hero in high school and then just an overweight soccer coach as an adult.”

  Tyler laughed. “I have an uncle like that.”

  “Well, we only need a couple more scenes to wrap it up,” said Amy. “Maybe we can finish it tomorrow, then I can do the editing on it and print it out during the weekend.”

  Tyler gave her a high five. “Sounds good!”

  Amy was hoping that Tyler would continue walking with her as they exited the classroom, but he took off toward his friends and she walked by herself to the locker bay. At her locker, she stopped to unload a couple of things from her backpack when she noticed a piece of paper sticking out of a zippered pocket. She pulled out the paper to discover it was another secret admirer note!

  Dear Amy,

  The more I know you, the more I like you. Not only are you the prettiest and smartest girl in the school, you are pretty funny too!

  YSA

  Amy looked over her shoulder like she expected the writer of the note to pop out and say, “Hey, it’s me!” But all she saw was Emily and Morgan walking her way. She smiled and waved. And then she showed them the note.

  “So the mystery continues,” said Emily with real interest.

  “You’re good at mysteries,” said Amy. “Who do you think it is?”

  Emily took the note and peered carefully at it. “Well, it does seem to be a boy.”

  “Duh,” said Morgan.

  “And he has neat handwriting. Does the style look familiar to you, Amy?”

  Amy studied the note more closely. “Well, now that you mention it, Tyler’s handwriting actually looks kind of like that. And —” she looked at her friends with a rush of excitement. “He was using a pen this exact same color in English.”

  “It’s blue,” said Morgan in a flat tone.

  “But it’s kind of a purple blue,” said Amy.

  “You’re right,” said Emily. “It is.”

  “And —” gushed Amy, “whoever wrote this note had to have been near me this afternoon because I found it in my backpack!”

  “Good point,” said Emily. “Did Tyler have an opportunity to slip it into your backpack during English?”

  “I did get up to put something in the trash,” Amy told them. “It was a scene that we decided didn’t work. He could’ve slipped it in then.”

  “Slipped what in?” asked Chelsea. She had just joined them. So Amy filled her in on the latest Secret Admirer news.

  “Cool,” said Chelsea. “That has to be it.”

  “Well, don’t let it go to your head,” warned Morgan.

  “And don’t forget what we told you this morning,” said Emily.

  “I’m trying to keep that in mind,” said Amy. “But it’s not easy.” She giggled. “It’s hard not to think about boys when boys are thinking about you!”

  Chelsea laughed and slapped Amy on the back. “You go, girl.”

  But Morgan just shook her head, and Emily looked concerned. And when Carlie joined them, and heard about Amy’s second note, she rolled her eyes.

  “Oh, great,” said Carlie, “here we go again.”

  “Does anyone want to go shoe shopping with me?” Chelsea asked. “I realized that I don’t have the right shoes to go with my Valentine’s Day dance outfit.”

  Morgan, Emily, and Carlie all declined Chelsea’s offer, but Amy said she’d go. “As long as your mom can drop me off at the restaurant by five.”

  “No problem,” said Chelsea.

  So Amy called the restaurant on her cell phone and told An what her plans were for after school.

  “No homework?” asked An.

  “Not much,” said Amy. “I can do it later.”

  “Okay then …”

  And so, Amy and Chelsea were chauffeured around in the Mercedes, and all they talked about as they shoe-shopped was boys — specifically Brett and Tyler. By the time Amy was dropped off at Asian Garden, she felt certain that Tyler had been her secret admirer all along.

  “I thought he acted weird when I asked Brett about it,” Chelsea had finally told Amy. “He had this uncomfortable look in his eye, you know, like you’ve got the wrong guy. You’ve got to help break the ice with him, Amy. Somehow you need to let him know that you got the note and that you feel the same way about him.”

  Of course, Amy wasn’t quite sure how she was going to accomplish this. And as she helped with hostess duties and seating
people at tables, she ran a few possibilities through her head. But nothing seemed quite right.

  It wasn’t until she was getting ready for bed that she came up with a solution. If Tyler liked sending notes, perhaps she should send him one as well. And, like him, she would call herself a “secret admirer.”

  Amy got out her best pink stationery and attempted to pen a note. And, after several tries, she finally decided to keep her note brief. Just get to the point without revealing who she was — just in case she was wrong about Tyler being her secret admirer. No way did she want to set herself up for any more public humiliation, and she’d made Chelsea promise not to mention the notes to ANY of the boys this time.

  Dear Tyler,

  Thank you for the notes.

  I really like them. And I really like you.

  ♥ YSA

  Then she put her note inside a pink envelope and sealed it. Okay, she wasn’t exactly sure how she would get it to him. His backpack? Or his locker? But she could figure that out tomorrow.

  As Amy walked with her friends to school, she tried to pretend she was listening to all they said. She nodded and said, “Uh-huh,” at appropriate times, but all she could really think about was the pink envelope in her backpack. She had decided to tell no one about this. It would be her secret. Then, just in case Tyler wasn’t the one who’d written her — although she felt 99 percent sure that he was — she wouldn’t be embarrassed again.

  “Amy is daydreaming about boys again,” said Carlie as they turned into the schoolyard.

  “What?” Amy turned and looked innocently at Carlie.

  “Don’t try to hide it,” said Emily. “We know.”

  Morgan nodded. “Yeah, we know.”

  “And it’s starting to worry us,” said Carlie.

  Amy shrugged. “Sorry.”

  “Hopefully you won’t be the one who’s sorry,” said Morgan.

  “Why should I be sorry?” asked Amy.

  “Because you’re missing out,” said Carlie. “You’re living in La-La Land, as my dad would say.”

  “And we miss you,” said Emily.

  Amy smiled at her friends. “You guys are imagining things.”

  “Hey, what’s going on up there?” asked Carlie, pointing to where a bunch of kids were clustered in the courtyard.

  “Looks like a fight,” said Morgan.

  Amy glanced at her watch now. “Well, I gotta get to band. See ya!” And she took off through the seventh grade locker bay.

  She hadn’t expected to have an opportunity to drop off her note just now, but to her surprise the locker bay was empty — probably due to whatever was going on in the courtyard just now. Anyway, Amy knew this was her big chance. And she also knew which locker was Tyler’s. She had figured that out yesterday while spying on him. So she casually walked past the guys’ side of the bay and then paused very briefly in front of a certain locker as she slipped the pink envelope right through a vent slot. And then, feeling like a criminal, she hurried away. By the time she reached the band room, her heart was pounding so hard she thought someone might mistake it for a snare drum.

  She was actually earlier than usual, and she was relieved to see that Oliver wasn’t there yet either. She did not need him teasing her again just now. She hung up her jacket, went to her seat, and casually began to warm up on her clarinet. It was amazing how soothing it was simply to play the scale. It settled her nerves, and before long she nearly forgot all about the pink envelope.

  Oliver grinned at her as he came into the band room. “Hey, you beat me this morning, Second Chair. I guess I better be watching out.”

  She simply rolled her eyes and continued to warm up.

  By the time class ended, Amy felt completely at ease about her secret note. She figured this would be a win-win situation. Either Tyler would reveal himself to her, and she would know that she’d hit the nail on the head — and they would be dancing together by the time of the Valentine’s Day dance. Or, nothing would happen, and Amy would know that Tyler hadn’t been her secret admirer after all. And it was weird that in some ways Amy would be relieved if that was the case. She hated to admit it, but she was starting to understand why her friends, other than Chelsea, seemed happier without being boy crazy. Maybe there was a reason people called it “boy crazy” — maybe it actually did make you crazy!

  “There she is!” said a guy’s voice. Amy looked up to see a short, blond guy she didn’t know standing with Tyler and several other seventh grade boys, including Brett. And the guy was pointing right at her. “That’s the girl who put that stupid note in your locker, Tyler.”

  Amy wanted to disappear. She wanted the wooden floors to open up and swallow her whole. She felt her face getting hot as the boys came closer to her.

  “Did you write this?” demanded Tyler, waving the way too familiar pink envelope and note in front of her nose.

  Amy didn’t answer. She just looked down at her feet and wondered why they had forgotten how to move.

  “Because if you think I like you,” he continued loudly, “if you think I’m going to be your boyfriend, you are totally crazy!”

  “Hey,” said Oliver, stepping between Amy and Tyler now. “Back off, bud.”

  Oliver, though skinny, was several inches taller than most of the seventh-grade boys, and for some reason the guys seemed to be taking him seriously just now.

  “Well, I don’t want you putting stuff in my locker, Amy!” shouted Tyler from behind Oliver. “So knock it off, ya hear!”

  “She can hear you already,” said Oliver in a calm yet firmvoice. “Now why don’t you and your buddies just clear out.” He shook his head. “It’s a pretty bad state of affairs when guys have to pick on girls for their kicks.”

  The boys made some grumbles and tossed out a few mean comments, but they slowly dispersed. And suddenly Amy’s feet remembered how to move, and without even saying a word, she took off in the opposite direction and ran.

  She wasn’t really sure where she was going, but she knew she wanted to get out of there. And so she ran and she ran until she ended up in town … in front of her family’s restaurant. Of course, they weren’t open this early in the day, but she knew that someone would be inside. She just hoped that it wasn’t her parents. Usually her parents didn’t come in until eleven.

  “What are you doing here?” demanded Ly when Amy slipped in the backdoor. “Why aren’t you at school?

  “Amy,” said An as she set down a big chopping knife. “What’s wrong?”

  And so Amy told both her sisters the whole story about what a fool she’d been. To her dismay they both started to giggle, and then they were both laughing — hysterically!

  “It’s not funny!” said Amy.

  “It’s a little funny,” said Ly as she leaned into An’s shoulder, suppressing her laughter.

  “Well, I’m glad that I can entertain you both!” Amy stomped her foot now.

  “We’re sorry,” said An. She stepped over and put her arm around Amy. “But I do think we both needed a good laugh just now.”

  “Yes, thank you,” said Ly.

  “We were actually having a fairly serious discussion about guys and relationships,” said An.

  “And you provided some good comic relief,” said Ly.

  “Glad you enjoyed my pain,” said Amy in grumpy voice.

  “But why did you leave school?” asked An.

  “Because I’m too humiliated to go back.”

  “You have to go back,” said Ly.

  “I can’t,” said Amy.

  “You don’t have a choice,” said An, placing a firm hand on Amy’s shoulder. “You have to go back. Do you want me to take you?”

  “No.” Amy firmly shook her head. “I can take myself.”

  “You’ll need to check in at the office now,” said Ly. “And explain why you were truant.”

  “Truant?” Amy frowned. She didn’t like the sound of that word.

  Ly nodded. “Yes. That’s what they call it.”


  “Fine,” said Amy. “I’m going.”

  “This is one of those times when you need to ask God to help you, Amy,” said An. “He wants us to call out to him in times of trouble.”

  “Right,” said Amy. “That would be now.”

  “So, do that,” said An. “Call out to God, and he will answer you.”

  Amy didn’t say anything as she headed for the back door.

  But she knew this — she was not going back to school today.

  Maybe never again!

  chapter nine

  Amy’s feet seemed to know just where to go as she exited the restaurant. Apparently, they were taking her directly home. But then, as she entered the mobile-home park, it occurred to her that she would have to face her parents here. Facing her siblings was one thing, but facing her parents — particularly her mother — well, that was something else.

  And so Amy made a beeline to the clubhouse. She knew it was wrong and that she would be considered “truant,” as Ly had pointed out. And Amy knew she would probably be punished later when her parents found out, but she just didn’t care. It felt as if there was a big aching hole in her chest, and she no longer cared about school or being in trouble or even her friends. Amy was desperate.

  She unlocked the door and let herself inside and then she went to the back of the bus, flopped down onto the bed, and began to sob. Oh, why had she been so incredibly dumb? Why had she written that stupid note? Why had she allowed herself to become boy crazy like this? What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she be more like Morgan and Emily and Carlie? They didn’t have problems like this. For a supposedly “smart girl” Amy felt like a complete idiot!

  She must’ve cried herself to sleep because when she opened her eyes it was already twelve. Her friends would be in the cafeteria now. They were probably wondering where she was — and they’d probably heard the story of Tyler confronting her outside the band room. It was so humiliating!