Bang Gang

by Jade West

  “She said that, did she?”

  “No, but that’s what she meant…”

  I tried to hold back a laugh.

  “I think your mum can hear you well enough, Rubes. I think you’re well and truly busted.” He tickled her until she squealed.

  “Little Ruby Sneaky-pants,” I groaned. I pulled her close and her hair was a bird’s nest, crazy curls against my cheek. I reached out for Darren, gave his arm a squeeze. “What time is it?”

  He turned the alarm clock to face me. “Not even six.”

  “Bloody hell, Ruby. The sun’s not even close to coming up.” I yawned and flicked on the lamp.

  “But he’s beeeeeeen!” Ruby protested. “I heard him!”

  Darren raised an eyebrow, brushed a curl from her forehead. “You heard him, did you? That right?”

  She nodded. “And his reindeers. I heard them, too!”

  “Good job you didn’t catch him,” I said. I flashed Darren a cheeky smile. “He’d have been embarrassed if you’d have caught him drinking your dad’s beer.”

  Her eyes widened. “He drank your beer, Dad?!”

  He nodded, pulled a fake scowl. “He did, liberty-taking asshole. He drank it all last night and left me none. Gonna tell that chubby prick what I think of him if he comes back round here again.”

  I couldn’t stop smiling. “He had quite a party, I think. Made quite a racket.”

  “I think he bloody well did,” Darren said. He reached out and brushed a thumb across my cheek. I took his hand, kissed his knuckles.

  Christmas.

  Family Christmas. All of us.

  I’d dreamed of this for so long.

  “So?” Ruby demanded. “Can I go get my presents now? Mia’s awake too, she’s just pretending to be all grown up and asleep, just because she’s a teenager now.”

  “What about Nanna?” I said. “You’ll have to go and see if she’s awake. She might be flat out though, so don’t be too…”

  Ruby was off like a cannon before I’d even finished, announcing it was Christmas morning with enough volume to wake the whole fucking street, not just Nanna.

  “…loud,” I finished.

  I listened to her yelling at Nanna to get her butt out of bed and I giggled, pulled a pillow over my face, but Darren was right there. He took it off me and kissed my neck until I squirmed.

  He slipped his hands under the covers, over the little bump of my belly, and lower. I tingled all over, my breaths coming shorter. “Steady there,” I whispered. “I don’t think we’re going to get away with a lie in somehow...”

  “Appears fucking not,” he growled. “That means an early night’s on the cards then, doesn’t it?”

  I reached for him, pulled his mouth to mine. “I guess it does.”

  I dragged myself out of Darren’s arms and out of bed. He tugged on a pair of jeans as I wrapped up in a dressing gown.

  “Christmas morning,” he said. “This’ll be the best yet, Jo.”

  I knew it. My smile told him so.

  The kids were already poised for action. We’d barely taken a seat on the sofa as they started tearing into their presents. Nanna was on the edge of her chair, her eyes twinkling as she giggled along with the girls. I linked Darren’s fingers in mine and slipped them inside my dressing gown to rest on my swollen belly. The girls were too engrossed to notice.

  Darren made all the right noises.

  That’s sweet, that is, Mia. Well tidy, like.

  Father Christmas has done you bloody proud, Rubes. That’s well cool.

  Let’s have a look at that. Pretty damn awesome.

  Might have to forgive him for drinking my beer at this rate.

  It was all him. He’d gone crazy this year, no expense spared. I’d told him off, told him he’d turn them into spoiled little brats at this rate, but he’d had none of it.

  I just wanna see their faces, Jo. I just wanna see them smile.

  I watched him watching them, and I think he was even more excited than they were. I told him so.

  Ruby tore open a Top Gear box set and I took that back.

  Nanna started on the brandy at breakfast time with a little nod Darren.

  It’s Christmastime, Nanna, get it down your neck.

  He put the stupid Christmas songs album on in the kitchen and Ruby made us all wear ridiculous Santa hats. The pom-pom kept falling in my face as I prepared the veg with Darren, but the hell would she let me take it off.

  “When are your parents getting here?” Darren asked.

  “Midday, same as yours,” I said.

  I was nervous. I felt the jitters. Good jitters.

  “And we’re gonna tell them, right? Today? Everyone?”

  I nodded. Smiled. “Today, yeah.”

  “Righto,” he said, and he couldn’t stop grinning.

  We fucked up dinner a little but Darren dished out enough Christmas wine that nobody really cared. Who even likes turkey anyway? The sprout bowl remained filled to the brim, and the pigs in blankets disappeared like liquid gold. Standard.

  Except nothing was standard about today.

  The whole thing felt magical. Amazing. Just… right.

  Darren and his dad made toasts to our health, our good fucking fortune, and the wedding we were having in March.

  It was all booked, everything. Everything signed, sealed and put on order. The local church, the vicar, the after party in a heated marquee at the back of the Drum – Darren’s idea, not mine.

  I’d wanted to keep it small. Special, but reasonably priced, nothing too extravagant, not with the baby on the way. The pomp and circumstance didn’t matter anyway, so long as Darren and the girls were there.

  That’s all that mattered.

  I’d made the decision to use Pops’ money for it. Darren had protested, said no fucking way in typical Darren Trent style, but I’d argued it. Stood my ground.

  The experience of a lifetime, I’d said. The experience of my lifetime. I can’t think of a better way to spend it. I want to spend it this way, Darren. It’s what Pops’ would have wanted.

  It’s what I want.

  The experience of my lifetime would definitely be walking up that aisle and seeing Darren Trent waiting for me, that was sure enough.

  So that’s what we’d done, put the whole lot into the wedding – including the four hundred in cash stuffed in that bloody gangbang envelope. I’d giggled like a girl when Darren handed that back over.

  He started fidgeting after pudding, kept flashing me glances amongst the conversation.

  I met his eyes and nodded as my dad finished up the story about the couple who’d robbed the TV from their guesthouse.

  My tummy fluttered as Darren cleared his throat and told everyone we had another Christmas present to spill the beans about. Something that wouldn’t be here until the summer but was definitely on order.

  He stood at my side with his hand on my shoulder, and I felt so stupidly proud, so happy, I couldn’t help the tears spilling down my cheeks.

  “Oh, Jodie, what is it, love?” Nanna said and all eyes were on me.

  Worried eyes.

  I took a breath, wiped the tears with the back of my hand. “I’m just happy,” I said, “happier than I’ve ever been.” I whipped out the envelope from my pocket and gave it to Darren. He opened it up and pulled out the scan, held it up for the whole table to see.

  I focused on the the girls, desperate for their reaction. Ruby’s jaw dropped open wide, Mia’s too.

  “A baby?!” Ruby squealed. “Do I get a brother? A real brother?”

  My heart melted and I reached out for her hand. “Not sure about a brother, Ruby, but a baby, yes. We’re having a baby!”

  Mia smiled, then frowned, folded her arms. “Does this mean I have to share my room with Ruby monster?”

  Darren answered before I could. “Not when I’ve finished the extension, Mia. Nanna’s having a nice downstairs bedroom, all kitted out flash, aren’t you, Nanna? Will be just the job, like.”


  Nanna grinned. “For my knees,” she said to Darren’s mum and dad.

  My mum took my hand and pulled me in for a hug, and the whole table was full of congratulations. It felt amazing. I felt amazing.

  My dad had to wipe his eyes on a napkin, and Darren rolled his eyes, slapped him on the back and told him to man up, Pops. They shook hands and my dad congratulated Darren on the good work.

  I flushed as Darren met my eyes, that stare of his so bloody intense as he told my dad it had been a fucking pleasure.

  “Baby number three!” my mum said. “You’ll end up with a whole load of garages at this rate, Darren, just to fit them all in the family business!”

  I laughed. “Trent and daughters,” I said. “It’s already been decided.”

  “Now all we need is to make Jodie a bloody Trent, too,” Darren said. “About bloody time as well.”

  But I’d always been Jodie Trent, right from those days at the bus stop all that time ago when he’d let me bum his cigarettes and I’d told him my name.

  THE END

  Johnny, my incredible editor, here we are again! Another book completed, another fantastic experience working with you. Thank you so much for everything, I couldn’t do this without you. <3

  Letitia, for the awesome cover. You are amazing! Thank you so much for the brilliant design.

  Leigh, for the beautiful formatting. Excellent work, thank you so much!

  Tracy, my awesome and tireless PA, I totally love your face. Thank you for all the hard work and enthusiasm, I’m so honoured to have you on my team.

  To my amazing beta readers, thank you so much for the incredible feedback! Particular thanks to Siobhan and Louise, you ladies really helped me with this one. Thank you!

  Michelle and Lesley, your support is incredible, thank you so much!

  To my amazing reader group, you ladies (and gents) make me smile so hard! Thank you so much for your support and enthusiasm, it really does mean the world to me!

  Blogger, authors, reviewers – I’m so lucky to have the support of so many people in this awesome community. Thank you all so very much for your faith, your enthusiasm, and for spreading the word about my books. <3

  To my incredible friend Maria, this one is for you. Jodie has so much of you in her – the way you work so hard, the way you give so much, the way you care so brilliantly for your girls. They are a credit to you, and you are an inspiration to me. Love you loads. x

  Richard, thank you so much for taking the time to teach me the finer details of being a mechanic, it was seriously appreciated. You’re someone I’ve come to count on, and inspired so much of Darren Trent – I guess that’s where the biggest thanks of all is due. (RW Services in Ewyas Harold, everyone – I cannot recommend them enough. They’ve been taking care of our cars for over four years now and have always done us proud.)

  To regulars of the Dog and the Temple – I’ve enjoyed hanging out with you all in the name of village research, thank you for the stories.

  So many friends to thank! Lisa, Dom, Jo, Sue, Marie, Lauren, Tom, Kate, Hanni… I’m so honoured to know you all. Thank you all for putting up with my incessant book-speak!

  Jon, your support means everything. I love the life we have together and wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else. Your encouragement and love are always felt and always appreciated. I love you. X

  My amazing family, who are the best cheerleaders I could ever wish for. Mum, Dad, Nan and Brad – I love you all very much. The only good thing about finishing a novel (which always requires leaving a little bit of my soul behind) is that I get to spend more time with you. X

  And of course, to my readers! Thank you for taking the time to read Bang Gang, I hope so much that you enjoyed Darren and Jodie’s story. It’s because of you that I get to spend my days writing, and there are simply no words to describe my gratitude. X

  Jade has increasingly little to say about herself as time goes on, other than the fact she is an author, but she’s plenty happy with this. Living in imaginary realities and having a legitimate excuse for it is really all she’s ever wanted.

  Jade is as dirty as you’d expect from her novels, and talking smut makes her smile.

  She lives in the Herefordshire countryside with a couple of hounds and a guy who’s able to cope with her inherent weirdness.

  She has a red living room, decorated with far more zebra print than most people could bear, and fights a constant battle with her addiction to Coca-Cola.

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