by Jerramy Fine
Val d’Isere (France)
There are so many Sloane Rangers in this elite French resort, Val d’Isere has been dubbed “Val Sloane Square.”
Best après ski: Dick’s Tea Bar, www.dicksteabar.com
Lech (Austria)
Perfect for discreet old-money types.
Who goes there: Queen Beatrix and the Dutch royal family. This was also a beloved favorite of the late Princess Diana.
Where to stay: Hotel Arberg, www.arlberghotel.at
Zermatt (Switzerland)
Who goes there: William and Kate, the Duchess of York, Princesses Beatrice, Princess Eugenie, Madonna.
Best après ski: Heimberg Bar, the Brown Cow Pub.
Meribel (France)
Who goes there: Prince Felipe of Spain, the Earl and Countess of Wessex.
Where to stay: If you want to mix with royalty and the aristocracy, book your chalet with Scott Dunn, www.scottdunn.com/luxury-holiday/ski-holidays.
More Regal Hunting Grounds
The Oxford vs. Cambridge Boat Race River Thames, London, www.theboatrace.org
A tradition since 1829, this 4.25-mile rowing race between England’s most prestigious and illustrious universities is one of the flirtiest afternoons in the London social calendar. I love it because the race itself is exciting, and even better, it’s over in less than twenty minutes. After that, the day is all about socializing with cute (ever so tipsy) British boys along the sunny riverbank.
Who are the rowers: All handsome, all insanely intelligent, all insanely tall. (Most are six-foot-five or taller.) Remember the scarily attractive Winklevoss twins in the movie The Social Network? They rowed in this race a few years ago.
Where to go: Anywhere on the towpath between Putney Bridge and Hammersmith (get there early to ensure a good viewing spot). The Crabtree Pub is also a good base. Afterward, crash a party at any of the nearby rowing clubs.
Scottish Dancing Events (aka “Reels”)
Not nearly as nerdy as it sounds. This weekly hobby is extremely trendy and increasingly popular among well-heeled London singletons. A brilliant way to learn something new and dance with gorgeous British boys.
What to expect: Scottish-style square dancing (but you don’t need to know the steps to attend a session, as the MC will talk you through it all, dance by dance).
What to wear: The practice sessions are casual, but the formal balls will require an actual ball gown.
Bonus: Many reels take place at The Hurlingham Club www.royalcaledonianball.com/other_events.
RECOMMENDED READING:
Gone with the Windsors by Laurie Graham
This is one of my favorite novels of all time. It’s the fictional diary of Wallis Simpson’s best American friend, Maybell, and her hilarious descriptions of American girls crashing the upper-class parties of 1930s Britain. Lots of yachts, lots of dresses, lots of diamonds. And if you can’t stomach nonfiction, Gone with the Windsors is a lighthearted way to get the scoop on the clever divorcée from Baltimore who stole the heart of a king. I promise you will laugh out loud.
The American Heiress by Daisy Goodwin
For those of you who love Lady Cora, the (American) Countess of Grantham in Downton Abbey, this sparkling novel is based on a very similar American character, who just happens to go by the very same name. It tells the tale of a bright-eyed American girl named Cora Cash, who travels to England, determined to find the one thing money can’t buy in the US—a title. Of course Cora must navigate the murky waters of Old World aristocrats and obscure codes of conduct (something all American girls in contemporary London will relate to).
1 Nevertheless, I actually know an American woman who refuses to stay in any Englishman’s country house unless she has physical proof that there is central heating and a decent coffee machine.
2 At least until William and Kate reproduce.
3 Edward, Prince of Wales (crowned King Edward V in 1910).
4 Also derogatorily known as “Sloane Rangers,” “Toffs,” “Hooray Henry’s,” “Ra-Ra-Rupert’s,” “Chinless Wonders,” “Tim-Nice-But-Dim’s,” “Fops,” or quite simply “Yah’s”—all referring to the stereotype of a young upper- or upper-middle-class privately educated Englishman.
5 It is interesting to note that even though less than 4 percent of the UK male population went to a private boarding school, graduates of these schools make up 75 percent of UK judges, 70 percent of UK finance directors, 45 percent of UK top civil servants, and 32 percent of British MPs.
6 Old Etonians include: Prince William, Prince Harry, Earl Spencer, George Orwell, Ian Fleming (creator of James Bond), Hugh Laurie, Eddie Redmayne, Bear Grylls, Damian Lewis, London Mayor Boris Johnson, and nineteen British prime ministers, including David Cameron. The school uniform consists of white tie, morning coat, and pinstripe trousers.
7 Old Gordonstounians include The Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Charles, Prince Andrew, Prince Edward, and Princess Anne’s children, Peter and Zara.
8 Famous old Harrovians include seven British prime ministers (most notably Winston Churchill), King Hussein of Jordan, James Blunt, and Cary Elwes (the prince in the movie The Princess Bride).
9 Alma mater of Henry Cavill; alumni are known as “Old Stoics.”
10 Winchester was founded in 1382—making it the oldest “public” school in the world. Because the school was founded by William of Wykeham, alumni (which include the likes of Hugh Dancy) are known as “Old Wykehamists.”
11 Needless to say, most London bar staff are not sober. The upside to this is you can often convince them to give a cute American girl a free shot.
12 You emerge from your stint at university with one of the following: 1st class degree (A average), 2:1 (B average), 2:2 (C average), or 3rd class degree (D average). Personally, I’ve never met anyone that graduated with anything other than 2:1, so I’m not quite sure how British employers differentiate among applicants.
13 I actually know of one UK university that permanently canceled their annual Valentine’s Day party due to constant outbreaks of mono (or “glandular fever”).
14 A fifteen-minute time-out for players with visibly bleeding injuries.
15 Prince William had been to America once before (in 2004), when he took a break from St. Andrews to visit an American friend, a Nashville heiress by the name of Anna Sloan, who was then studying at the University of Edinburgh. Anna had invited a group of their mutual friends to stay at her estate in Tennessee.
SIX
THE SEASON
The American invasion has done English society a great deal of good. American women are bright, clever, and wonderfully cosmopolitan…In the art of amusing men they are adept, both by nature and education, and can actually tell a story without forgetting the point—an accomplishment that is extremely rare among the women of other countries.
—OSCAR WILDE
To be honest, I had never been one for spectator sports. Back in America, I would have rather done just about anything than watch baseball or football or almost any other game involving a ball. I just couldn’t focus on any of it. Sometimes I felt like I might as well be watching fish swim back and forth in a tank.
But then I discovered the British Season.
Sure there are sports involved but it’s so much more elegant, so much more civilized, and usually there’s champagne being handed to me at some point. (In fact, it’s quite easy for all of the Season events to simply blur into one long, alcoholic picnic.) So from a girl who at one time would’ve rather died than gone to another sporting event, I’ve been entirely converted. And so will you.
A Brief History
Prior to 1958, well-bred English girls (aka “debutantes”) were formally presented to the Queen to symbolically mark their debut into aristocratic society. This was followed by a nonstop string of social events known as “the Season.” In the beginning, the Season was defined by the movements of the royal family, who only lived in London between May and August. During these months, the aristocracy would also resi
de in the capital and this very social time of year became integral to the aristocratic marriage market.
This is how it worked: At the tender age of seventeen, upper-class English girls were launched into society with a formal curtsey to the monarch—also known as being presented “at Court.”
Girls had to be presented to the Queen by a female relative who had also been presented to the Queen when she was seventeen (otherwise they were not allowed to take part in the Season).
After the big curtsey, the parents of each debutante hosted a black-tie ball at which their daughter would officially “debut.” These balls were interspersed with a whirlwind of cocktail parties and lots of fun summer sporting events. Most “debs” went out at least five nights a week, usually costing their families up to $200,000 in today’s money. (That’s a lot of dresses.)
The ultimate purpose of all these parties was to display the young, aristocratic girls to the young, aristocratic boys. The lucky bachelors were usually the sons of UK nobility and gentry, and known to everyone as “the debs’ delights.” Needless to say, it was every debutante’s goal to be engaged to one of them by the end of the Season.
The debutantes were really the first “It Girls” and celebrity fashion plates of their kind, and as you can imagine, the society photographers loved them. Still, deb etiquette was rigorous. A young woman could flirt and go on dates, but virginity was a must. Young men who tried to go too far were blacklisted as NSIT (Not Safe in Taxis).1
Believe me, if I could be born into another era, this would be the one I would choose! Life was one big Nancy Mitford2 novel! Sadly, I was born in Colorado in the late twentieth century, and by the time I made it to London, the traditional nineteenth-century English Season had morphed into something else entirely. After World War II, English society became slightly more egalitarian, and the strict social constraints of the original Season could no longer survive. Blue-blooded families were slowly being overtaken by new money, and some sly aristocratic mothers began charging a fee to present unconnected nouveau riche girls to the Queen.
As Princess Margaret infamously declared, “We had to put a stop to it. Every tart in London was getting in.” And so in 1958, Queen Elizabeth ended the antiquated practice of Court presentations altogether. Luckily, there are still some surviving remnants of the original Season for those in the know to enjoy…
THREE THINGS TO REMEMBER ABOUT THE SEASON:
When attending any of the following events, it’s important not to go through a heavily logo-ed form of corporate entertaining. If a corporate invite is your only option, then don’t turn it down, but please keep in mind that you won’t be experiencing the real deal.
Although all of these events occur between the months of May and August (which is technically referred to as “summer”), please note that you are in the United Kingdom and sunshine is a privilege not an assumption. Despite the strict summery dress codes required by many of these venues, be prepared for cold and/or wet weather at all times. This means smiling through the shivering drizzle and being a good sport about wearing wellies with your best sundress. Learning to enjoy yourself in freezing weather is terribly English, so you might as well get used to it.
Several of these events require setting up a formal picnic in a grassy parking lot (remnants of an era when everyone had servants to unpack the hamper and lay the best china out for a quick luncheon). Hence, you must perfect the art of wearing a crisp linen suit (with matching hat), sitting in a lawn chair in the middle of a crowded parking lot (quite often in the rain), and eating soggy salmon sandwiches off your lap while sipping champagne, making witty repartee, and looking like you’re having the time your life. Master this with grace and aplomb, and you have mastered the British Season.
Audrey Hepburn at Royal Ascot in My Fair Lady.
Every duke and earl and peer is here Everyone who should be here is here. What a smashing, positively dashing Spectacle: at the Ascot opening day.
—FROM THE FILM MY FAIR LADY
Royal Ascot
Berkshire, www.ascot.co.uk
When: Four days every year in June.
What to expect: Thoroughbred racehorses, gentlemen in top hats, It Girls in Philip Treacy, an air of glamour and exclusivity.
Who goes: Each day at Royal Ascot, the Queen and her party drive in open-topped carriages across Windsor Park, entering the racecourse through the Golden Gates.
Where to go:
The Royal Enclosure. Originally established in the 1790s to ensure privacy for members of the royal family, this exclusive area was once only accessible to guests brandishing a royal invitation. The Royal Enclosure allows access to the best viewing areas and facilities on the course, as well as use of the Enclosure Gardens. These days, you can write to the US Embassy and ask politely for an invite, be invited by someone who has attended previously, or make a reservation for lunch at one of the restaurants inside. Be warned that convicted criminals and bankrupts are banned from the Royal Enclosure; divorcées have only been allowed since 1955.
Parties and Picnics in Car Park #1. Bizarrely, these are a very big deal. Some members of British society never even bother to leave this particular Ascot parking lot, assuming that royals and races couldn’t possibly compete with their own exclusive festivities.
What to wear:3 Only a formal day dress or suit (knee-length or longer) paired with a proper hat is acceptable. (A headpiece that has a base of four inches or more in diameter is also satisfactory.) Keep in mind that it’s easy to go overboard with look-at-me outfits and crazy headgear, but try to strike a balance between conservative and fashionable. Gentlemen are required to wear either black or gray morning dress, which must include a waistcoat, tie (not a cravat), black or gray top hat, and black shoes. (Rod Stewart was once infamously turned away for wearing trendy sneakers with his morning suit.) A gentleman may only remove his top hat within a restaurant, private box, or private club, or within that facility’s terrace, balcony, or garden.
What NOT to wear: Miniskirts, strapless dresses, halter neck dresses, spaghetti strap dresses, dresses with a strap less than one inch wide, anything that exposes the midriff, anything that is sheer or has sheer straps. (Jackets and pashminas are allowed, but the dresses and tops underneath must still comply with the Royal Enclosure dress code.)
What to bring: Binoculars.
Top tips: Don’t bother with the odds, the bookies, or the stats in the Racing Post. Just have a look at the “starters” in the paddock, then bet a few pounds on the handsomest horse with the cutest name. Make sure you have a good spot at the finish line to watch your horse thunder past and to cheer him into the winners enclosure (although please don’t emulate Eliza Doolittle as you do this).
Inside info: The jockey wearing the black silk cap and purple silk jacket with red sleeves and gold braiding is riding for the Queen.
Best flirting spot: Amid the young, hip, and fashionable at the Birdcage pop-up party tent (within the Royal Enclosure Gardens)—a gilded shelter for the golden youth. www.royalascotbirdcage.com
Also try: The Epsom Derby.
In 2008, racecourse owners at Ascot were forced to issue dress code guidance, which suggested women “wear knickers, but not on show.” Surely that’s sound advice for any social event—royal or otherwise—but maybe that’s just me. In 2012 (and not a moment too soon), the dress code at Ascot was completely revised to restore decorum to the age-old event, and organizers promise that it will be rigorously enforced. Let’s hope so. After all, Ascot is, in the words of one race official, a formal occasion—“not one where you dress as you would at a nightclub.”
Indeed. Which brings me to…
What to avoid at Ascot: Anything outside the safe confines of the Royal Enclosure. Despite the nearby presence of the Queen of England herself, nothing stops dozens of pink stretch limos from various London lap dancing clubs from pulling into the grandstand next door. On this side of the fence you will see hundreds of drunk, tattooed race-goers blatantly ignoring the dress
code (there is more flesh on display in the Silver Ring of Ascot than during spring break at Daytona Beach), throwing up on each other and starting fistfights. I wish I were exaggerating about this, but I’m not. I see blood spilled every single year. Extremely upsetting; not to mention disrespectful to such a historic royal tradition.
Luckily, from 2012 onward, women in the less formal Grandstand will be required to wear a hat or fascinator and to cover both their shoulders and their midriffs. Shorts are also no longer permitted. (Hallelujah.) However, the even less formal Silver Ring still has no formal dress code whatsoever. But thanks to the new rules, at least bare chests are no longer permissible, and fancy dress, novelty, and promotional clothing are not allowed on-site. I’m all for this. But personally, I’ll believe it when I see it.
The Henley Royal Regatta
Henley-on-Thames, Oxfordshire, www.hrr.co.uk
When: This world-renowned rowing event is held over five days (Wednesday to Sunday) in late June or early July. This event is very male, very private school, and very, very English. (Not surprisingly, it’s one of my favorites.)
Where to go: The general public can enjoy races from various points along the Thames towpath, but the Stewards’ Enclosure, at the end of the course, is where you need to be. This is where the final awards ceremony takes place, but access is limited to Stewards (former rowers who organize the regatta), members of the Enclosure, and their guests.
What to expect: Rolling green lawns, covered grandstands, riverside restaurants and bars.
Who goes: Strapping Englishmen who once rowed for Oxford or Cambridge wearing silly wool blazers in the blazing sun. Prince Albert became the royal patron of Henley in 1851, and since this date the reigning monarch has stood as official patron to the event.
