Held (Before, A Prequel)

by A Lexy Beck

  “I’ll have to look at my calendar before I can commit to anything. If I can manage it, the longest I could get away would be a week, and then it’s back to work.”

  Dad’s smile was bright. I tried not to look at his face. I hated seeing him looking triumphant. Jenna covertly grasped my hand and squeezed it.

  At least she was happy.

  “Champagne all around,” Dad nodded toward the waiter. “Welcome aboard, son.”

  It was clear he didn’t understand the conversation we had just had.

  Chapter Three

  I tapped the red decline call button for the third time as I attempted to keep my attention on the gorgeous blonde behind the podium. No sooner had I slipped the phone into my pocket, did it start vibrating again. I pulled it out and looked at the screen, but I knew who it was already. Dad.

  I slid out of the auditorium and took the call. “What?” I didn’t wait for his response. “I’m watching Jenna’s presentation.”

  “Sorry, I really need some feedback on that training sheet I sent over last night. I’m trying to get things lined up, Torrey, and you’re a big part of it.” Dad’s voice was intense on the other end. “Can you get back to me by tonight?”

  “We’ve been over this. I’m coming to the training, but I don’t want to be a part of everything else. This is your thing. This is Ryan’s thing. Look, I have to go. I’ll get you the information later.”

  I ended the call and took a deep breath. The truth was, I never planned on taking over the reins at Held Security…but I sure as hell wasn’t going to give them to my brother, the college drop-out. Funny thing was, I knew Ryan had the heart for it—just not the discipline. He had some growing up to do, that was for sure.

  I slid the phone back into my pocket and attempted to sneak back into the auditorium without being noticed. Unfortunately, the squeak of the door gave me away as a handful of people turned to look at me enter the room. I knew she saw me and all I could do was sit in the closest seat possible. This was her moment and I didn’t want to miss any more of it than I already had. Jenna’s college had asked her to speak to the graduating class of a local high school about the benefits of having a business degree.

  “So in conclusion, I want to share with you some advice I heard a few years ago when I was going through a rough patch. Some of you have been through some rough patches. You might think that higher education is an impossibility, but I’m here to tell you that if you want it, you can have it. The advice I received was this: ‘It doesn’t take skill, money or even brains to be the best at something. It takes determination. Hard, steely determination. Accomplishments, true accomplishments, aren’t given—they are taken from the fires of adversity.’”

  I smiled at her. I had been the one who told her that. It was during her first year at college, when she was ready to quit and walk away. She had lost her mom, her financing fell through, and a whole host of problems tried to take her down. But she overcame. She didn’t ask me for financial help, even though I had offered to give it at least a hundred times. Everything she had, everything she had accomplished, Jenna had done it herself. I was proud to call her my girlfriend—and my friend. She ended her speech and stood on stage as the sporadic applause built to a dull roar. Typical high school participation, but I knew she’d inspired some kids. I clapped along and walked to the side door, waiting to escort her out.

  “Did you need a bathroom break or something?” Jenna smiled as she approached.

  “No, I’m sorry…work, actually, Dad. I only missed a minute, and you were amazing.”

  “Thank you.” She stood on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek.

  I took her briefcase and grabbed her hand as we walked back to the Jeep and she filled me in on the couple of things I had missed.

  “The kids were really attentive. You know, I wasn’t crazy about doing this, but now I’m glad I did. I hope that something I said—or something you said,” she nudged me with her elbow, “helps them along.”

  “I can’t believe you remember that. How long ago was that?”

  “Are you kidding me? I remember everything, Torrey Held.” We stood by the Jeep and she turned to face me, a serious look on her face. “I remember it all. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

  “No, you’ve got that the other way around, Jenna. I’m the one that’s lucky. I don’t deserve you. You stuck by me, even after all the crap.”

  “Aw, come on. There hasn’t been that much crap.”

  I opened the door for her, waited for her to get in, and handed over her leather briefcase. “You know, sometime or another, we’re going to have to talk about the future.”

  “Unless that future includes a trip to the coffee shop, I’m not having it.”

  “Okay, Miss Business School Graduate. To the coffee shop it is. Sterlings okay?”

  “Sounds perfect.” Jenna played with my satellite radio on the drive, finally satisfied with a nineties station she found. Naturally, she sang along with all her heart, not caring whether she sounded good or bad. She was happy, and that was all that mattered to me.

  As she sang, she took her hair down and let the wind blow through it. I didn’t think she cared that the whole world could hear her performance. I pulled into the parking lot and took the first spot in front of the coffee shop. Jenna made me sit in the Jeep with her until the song was over, then she kissed me. “Today has been a great day, Torrey Held. I’m glad you’re in it.”

  “Me too. Let’s go get some coffee.” We went inside, ordered some drinks, and claimed a table on the patio. It was a beautiful afternoon. The skies were sunny, and thankfully it wasn’t as hot as it had been. In just a couple of months, it would be fall, not that it mattered much here in Los Angeles.

  We didn’t talk for a while, just exchanged an occasional smile and watched people walk past. I couldn’t see her eyes behind her oversized glasses but I could feel her relax beside me. “Will you miss school?” I asked. “Ready for finals?”

  “I can’t wait to get this last exam over, but at least it’s the easiest one. I probably don’t even need to study much. As far as school, I feel like I’ve been in it forever. I’m ready to get started on my career.” She absently scrolled through her cell phone, checking for messages. “I hope I hear from Landon’s soon. The headhunter said they should get in touch with me this week.”

  “Not too much longer, and then real life begins.” I smirked as I shot the comment over to her. She hated it when I called it real life.

  She shot a shy glance my way. “If I had taken the job on the east coast, would you have come with me?”

  I thought about her question and knew the answer without hesitation. “Yes, but I would have one hell of a commute.”

  “You mean you’d willingly leave your few friends—especially Jake and Sam? I really can’t imagine you would do that.”

  She was right. That would be hard—but hell, we had survived three tours in Fallujah and more than a dozen narrow escapes. None of which I had shared with Jenna.

  The three of us had a bond that few people understood, even though we never talked about Iraq. That didn’t stop us from tilting back a few bottles of beer together at least once a month. For a while, it helped to be with those familiar faces—to look at one another and say, “Hoo-rah! Hell yeah! We made it!” However, I was getting older, and so were they, and the memories of the fallen haunted us. They crowded into the picture, even when we didn’t mention their names.

  Jake was back in school for engineering, and Smith had invested in a chopper outfit. I guessed they weren’t postponing their lives like I had been. Waiting on Jenna to graduate from business school had been the perfect excuse to wait. That wasn’t going to work anymore and to be honest, the hangovers were a bitch. Tequila nights in your twenties were not that bad, but in your thirties, it took days to recover. It wasn’t what I wanted for my future. I wanted a future with Jenna.

  “I’d follow you anywhere and besides, it would have gotten me
away from the old man. He’s not going to let up until his name is on my paycheck.”

  “Would that be so bad, Torrey?”

  “Yes, it would be. He doesn’t know me. He still thinks I’m that loser that got caught smashing windows in a neighbor’s car. He doesn’t know about where I’ve been, what I’ve done.”

  “Have you tried telling him? Really talking to him?”

  “Yeah.” I frowned, trying to recall that conversation. Actually, at least a dozen conversations where he just dismissed what I’d done in the military and the experiences I had in my life. I clenched my fist as I pictured his expression when I told him I was going to start my own business and didn’t want to be a part of his.

  “So…how about that speech?” I smiled.

  “I’m so glad you came today. It meant a lot.”

  “If you hadn’t invited me, I might’ve stalked you. I wanted to see you in this sexy librarian outfit.”

  She grinned, punching me.

  “Seriously, Jenna. You’re a smart, intelligent woman. Things are going to be great.”

  “That sounds promising, but I have to warn you. I’m not moving in with you. I know you’re thinking ahead, but my dad’s always making these comments about men not wanting to by the cow if the milk is free.”

  I grinned at her. That sounded like a “Fred-ism.” Jenna’s father was one of my favorite people. She didn’t know it, but I had already spoken to him about my plans. He didn’t object and he’d already told me much the same thing. “My daughter is a nice girl. Don’t even think about taking advantage of her.”

  “Jenna, I know you. I would never suggest that.”

  “As long as we’re clear on that.”

  I smirked and raised my coffee to her. We held hands and enjoyed the sunshine with no more talk about the future. She didn’t push me and I loved her for that. Just another reason why I knew she was the one. Jenna knew me. All I needed now was the right moment.

  Chapter Four

  Jenna’s voice came from behind the bathroom door. “Are you ready?”

  I closed the laptop and sauntered to my bed, pulling back the navy blue sheets and comforter. I leaned back against the pillows and put my hands behind my head, clasping my fingers.

  “Hell yes. Don’t be shy. Let me see!”

  The bathroom door opened and the light flicked off.

  “No fair,” I said. “How am I going to see you?”

  She walked to the window, giggling in the dark. I heard her bump into something. She swore softly under her breath.

  “You okay?” I asked.

  “You tell me, Mr. Held.” She pushed aside the curtains. Suddenly moonlight streamed into the room and I could see her. She looked like an angel in her emerald green teddy. Her perfect breasts jutted out, and her torso tapered into that soft waistline and those hips. God, I wanted to bury my face in her. Her blonde hair draped loosely around her shoulders.

  I reached for her and she slid into the bed, facing me. She smelled like vanilla. I wondered if she tasted that way, too.

  I reached out and rubbed my fingers along her soft shoulder. She smiled shyly, and the confident woman I knew appeared uncertain. “You are, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman I know.”

  She didn’t tease or joke but searched my eyes in the moonlight. “Really? The most beautiful?”

  “Yep, without a doubt.”

  She scooted closer and kissed me. She knew me, she knew I hated lip gloss and lipstick. I loved the feel of her nude lips on mine. My hands flew to her face, I had to force myself to take my time and not grab her like a horny high schooler. No high school moves tonight. I cupped her face and rubbed her jaw with my thumbs. I kissed her deeply. Her body against me, her hips rolling across mine. I nipped at her lips, and she moaned softly.

  I lifted her up and settled her so she’d straddle my hips, she didn’t weigh much, and I had to be gentle with her. My hands ran along the green silk and Jenna’s hands were on my arms and body, running over my biceps, stroking my shoulders.

  I leaned up so we could kiss some more, but I could sense Jenna’s excitement, and I could barely contain myself.

  “Torrey, no more playing around!” she panted. “I want you!”

  Her whispers were like flames, dancing across my skin. I was so hard for her already, and when she rolled her hips over me again, I had to take deep breaths to keep myself in check.

  I slid the green silk off her shoulders and guided myself into her while she sank down. She gasped and moved against me. She was no passive lover—Jenna drove me crazy. Her blonde hair fell in waves around us as she rose off the bed, half leaning down to meet my kisses and thrusts. She clung to me like a determined angel until I heard her gasp again and shudder. Her breathing got faster until she whimpered with pleasure, pulsing around me. I reached my climax too, pulling her down to collapse on top of me, breathing in the sweet vanilla scent of her skin. She held me and we lay together until our hearts stopped racing.

  We kissed all the way to the shower and continued our session under the steaming water. She started washing her hair, but the sight of her with her arms raised over her head got me hard all over again. I leaned against her and pinned her wrists. She angled her head forward, trying to capture my lips in a kiss.

  Suddenly she pulled back.

  “Shit, Torrey! You got shampoo in my eye!” She squinted up at me, a pile of suds on her head.

  I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “That’s not funny,” she pouted. “Ow!”

  Using the edge of my thumb, I wiped away the extra shampoo and then helped her rinse out her hair. Once she was safe and shampoo-free, I pinned her wrists again and took her mind off that shampoo.

  * * * * *

  I passed out. Unfortunately, I dreamed. I found myself in a squalid home in Fallujah. Jake and I shoved people out the back door while rebels poured in the front, intent on killing us and everyone inside.

  I heard the child cry. She’d been left behind, obviously not on purpose, but there she was, crying on the floor, her arm bandaged and tears streaming down her face. Her dark hair fell in her eyes and her pink mouth opened in another fearful cry. I reached down and scooped her up, with my free hand. Someone else was coming through the front door. Jake was shouting, begging me to run, to follow him out the back of the house. The little girl squirmed in my arm. She was confused and afraid and there was no way I could stop and comfort her.

  “Jake!” I shouted, tossing him the girl. Bullets whizzed past, puncturing the plaster wall behind me, shattering it into dusty powder. One of the bullets grazed my arm and I felt the burn. Blood trickled from my arm and soaked the sleeve of my torn jacket.

  The wild-eyed shooter grinned fiercely and ran towards me screaming. He raised his glock and pointed it at me. He had a good shot and he took it. Lucky for me, he was out of bullets. Instinctively, I grabbed the hand with the gun, twisting his arm backwards and raising my knee to his gut. The air exploded from his mouth with a loud grunt as he doubled over. I drove my elbow into the back of his skull. Pain shot pain through my forearm, but I knocked him down.

  He grabbed my leg, twisting it, and pulled me to the ground. I rolled away, jumping to my feet as I felt the pain in my calf. He pulled the bloody knife from my leg and took another swing.

  “Fuck!” I screamed.

  Shots fired from behind me as I turned to see Jake standing in the doorway. The girl was cowering behind him, her hands over her eyes. I looked down and the rebel with the knife lay dead on the ground.

  “Let’s go, Held!”

  I heard more fireworks coming from the front door and a sense of dread crept over me.

  “Run!” he shouted.

  I moved my leg to run, but it was numb. Another crack of gunfire and I was awake. The sweat-drenched sheets clung to my naked body as Jenna slept soundly beside me. I was home. Safe.

  I thought about waking Jenna up but why bother? Why share the madness? I pushed her hair out of her face and s
he mumbled sleepily, “Hey, Tor.”

  “Hey, go to sleep. I love you.” I kissed her cheek.

  She reached for me, “I love you too.”

  I held her hand and stared at the ceiling, hoping I could block out the memories long enough to fall asleep again. I turned to watch her. I loved that face. The freckles on her nose, her full lips and they way she smiled in her sleep. No more thinking about the past. Time to think about the future.

  This was it. I would marry Jenna Quinn. I’d made up my mind.

  Chapter Five

  I tapped on the door with a free knuckle, trying to balance the ridiculously full box of Chinese food Jenna and her roommate, Grace, had ordered. Both girls were finishing up their studies. Finals were tomorrow and they both had a lot riding on this. Well, Jenna didn’t have to worry about anything, at least. Tomorrow’s final was her easiest. She’d told me even if she bombed it, she’d still ace the class.

  My girl was so smart. I couldn’t wait to spend the rest of my years with her and watch her take over the world.

  But tonight’s Chinese delivery was only for Grace—Jenna didn’t know. I’d parked the Hummer limo on the side street. It belonged to the Held Security company but my brother had managed to sign it out for me.