Accidentally Perfect

by Elizabeth Stevens

  He had no choice but to swing his head after my hand or more carnage would ensue. I pulled him around to face me and his face was even darker.

  “You right, Barlow?”

  “You right, Lombardi?”

  “Fucking pussy,” Grant whispered.

  Roman turned again and I dropped my hand from his ear before grabbing his arm. I wanted to try to keep some control over him but I wasn’t going to rip out his piercing for it.

  “Gentlemen!” Mr Dunbridge called. “It is perhaps not a good idea to have either of you in the same proximity. Piper, please take Roman to the nurse and keep him there until I’ve dealt with Grant.”

  “Of course, sir.” I tightened my grip on Roman’s arm and pulled him after me.

  “Will you slow the fuck down, Barlow?” he whined.

  “No. Besides, your legs are well longer than mine. You’ve got no reason to complain.”

  “You know, I don’t need you intervening in my fights. I am a big boy now.”

  “Big boys don’t start fights on the playground with wrestlers.”

  “You think I can’t take him?”

  “I think you’re an idiot.”

  “But, a very adorable idiot.” I could hear him pouting.

  “Not today.”

  “Oh, but I have a boo-boo.”

  “And, I’ll give you another one if you don’t stop talking.”

  “I can’t be talking. I was sure we weren’t on speaking terms.”

  Oh, good. This Roman… He was the sarcastic, dark, broody Roman with an unnecessary level of pissed-off sass.

  I rolled my eyes. “If that were true, you wouldn’t be annoying me now.”

  He snorted and I turned to find him giving me a very innocent expression. “What? Not talking!” He held his hands up as best he could while I was hanging onto his elbow.

  “You are the bane of my existence, Lombardi.”

  “And, you’re the light of mine, Barlow.”

  “Oh, how sweet,” the nurse cooed as I pulled him into her office and pretended my heart hadn’t just jump-crumpled.

  “He doesn’t mean it,” I assured her and ignored the way I felt like I’d kicked myself in the gut.

  She gave one of those chuckles adults do when they think kids do something cute. “No, of course not.” Then, she winked. “What have you got yourself into now, Roman?” she asked him, humorously exasperated like he was a favourite nephew she’d let get away with murder.

  “A fight for a lady’s honour, ma’am,” he replied dramatically.

  “Oh, how lovely. Which lady was that?”

  “The beautiful Piper here.”

  “Oh, no!” I scoffed. “You don’t drag me into your stupid fights!”

  “S’true. He besmirched your good name and I gave him a good what-for.”

  “Oh, that’s a lovely thing to do for your girlfriend. You two make a wonderful couple.”

  Roman’s face shut down as I went red and cleared my throat awkwardly.

  “She’s not my girlfriend,” he said, all trace of cheek or humour gone.

  “Oh!” the nurse chuckled. “Even better.” Then she winked again and went about checking over Roman’s minor injuries.

  She was just about done when Mr Dunbridge walked in.

  “You’ve got a week, Roman,” he said.

  Roman nodded. “Sounds about right.”

  “You’ve been warned, son,” he said, then sighed. “Come on, you’ve got a couple of months left and then you’re outta here. Let’s try not to get into any more trouble, hey?”

  Roman gave him his best ‘I’ll behave’ look and the nurse fussed over him some more; honestly, the woman was lovely and excellent at her job, but she was a sap for an attractive young man.

  “You know the drill, Roman,” Mr Dunbridge said as though he knew it was useless trying to help the guy who didn’t want to be helped.

  “I do. Off school property by end of Lunch and not back until Monday-week. I’m a very good boy at following the rules, sir.”

  “The ones that suit you, yes,” he muttered as he walked out, shaking his head.

  Roman threw me his sexiest smirk, but his eyes were cold. “Suffice to say you’ll need to get the bus home, Barlow.”

  I slapped him once for good measure and stormed out.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Perfectly Not Going Out.

  In the end, I didn’t have to tell Mason anything. Which is not to say I didn’t try. Hadley had been right; Mason deserved better and I deserved better. Even if I never had anything with Roman, I couldn’t be with Mason anymore. Not when someone else took up more space in my heart and not when I just wasn’t into Mason like that.

  I cornered him awkwardly the next lunchtime and laughed awkwardly in his face.

  “Hi, Mason,” I said, nice and awkward-like.

  He smiled down at me. “How are you, Piper?”

  I grinned and wrung my hands. “Good. No, I’m good. How are you?”

  “Piper, I feel like this isn’t going to go well for me.”

  I looked down and felt my cheeks burn. “Uh, well… It depends, I guess.”

  “Shall I do it?”

  I looked up quickly. “What?”

  “Well,” he said slowly, a smile growing that didn’t really reach his eyes. “I do like you, a lot. And, I get that you like me. But, something’s…not quite right, is it?”

  I sighed. “I just… I’m sorry, Mason. I spent so much time trying to prove I was interested in you like that that I didn’t really register that I wasn’t… I tried so hard to make it work – to be that perfect couple that people expected – that I didn’t really see it wasn’t.”

  He shook his head. “I get it. I won’t pretend I’m not disappointed. I really like you, Piper. But, you’re right. We’re just not each other’s perfect. Besides, it’s not your fault if you like someone else.”

  “I don’t…” I stopped myself because lying to him wasn’t fair. “I do like you, Mason, and I’m sorry. I’m not really girlfriend material at the moment, if I’m honest. At least, I don’t feel like girlfriend material. I’d be doing us both an injustice pretending otherwise, I think.”

  He nodded. “I get that. I’m just sorry I couldn’t be what you needed. And, for the record – if I can be so blunt – Roman really couldn’t do better. By any stretch. I never thought I’d see anything decent in the guy. But well, if he’s fallen for you, he obviously has some taste.”

  God, why did Mason have to be so nice?

  I opened my mouth a couple of times and nothing came out. Finally, I managed words. “Mason… He and I… We never…”

  He nodded. “I know.” I looked at him sceptically. “I assume,” he amended with a wry shrug. “You’re not that sort of girl.”

  I smiled, not quite sure that he’d assumed what I’d been trying to say, or that I was sure about what he’d assumed. But, maybe it was just better to leave it in the good place it was.

  “Thanks.”

  “I imagine Roman’s man enough to let us still be friends?” he asked with a smile.

  I snorted and looked down. “I don’t know that it matters. I really don’t see the whole Roman and me thing going forward.”

  “Maybe I was wrong and he is an idiot.”

  I batted him playfully. “I’d like to still be friends, though.”

  “Then we will be.” He put his arm around my shoulder and we wandered back over to our friends. “So, about Tucker and Hadley…” he started and I laughed.

  h

  Nothing changed between me and Mason. Well I mean, we weren’t holding hands or kissing, but we actually got along better. We shared more jokes, we talked more, it was just so much more natural to just be friends; it was easy. We were even at a point where I let him use me to deter Shayla’s advances.

  The next week was, basically, great. There was no stress, no worry. I had my great group of friend
s around me, I had my school work to finish, I had plenty of things to distract me. Not that I needed distractions. Because, I was okay.

  Although, Hadley had taken to checking up on me far too often. I loved that she’d taken the whole I’d kept things from her thing seriously and wanted to do better, but I also could have done with being a better friend. Like maybe not keeping stuff from her in the first place.

  But regardless of all that, life was good.

  Without Roman.

  I missed him like crazy – I’d be constantly thinking of things to text him or look forward to a hug I’d never get – and I wished I could work out how to fix us. But, for the first time in however many weeks it had been, life was good without Roman.

  It felt weird all of itself, but I was quite happy to just let it be that way.

  I breathed easier. I didn’t feel more than necessary panic when I felt down for no reason. Now people knew and knew how I wanted to play it, it was…easy being me. Well, not as difficult. I finally felt like maybe my life could be that vision of perfect that people seemed to have of it.

  Roman and I might have been broken – we might have treated each other like little more than that friend from kindy you feel obligated to still be polite to – but he’d given me a true gift; he’d given me the confidence to be myself. He’d taught me how to be myself and to accept myself. He’d taught me that people could still love me even when I felt damaged. He’d taught me that all I had to do was show them I trusted them.

  And, whether I was in love with him or not, I would always love him for that.

  Mason insisted I keep playing football with them and I might have been getting slightly better. That, or the boys took pity on me. But really, it wasn’t my fault the ball was a stupid shape and didn’t bounce the way it was supposed to.

  By the end of the week, I still never expected it to go the way it went.

  I squealed as the damned ball in question bounced left instead of into my hands and tried to launch myself after it. The boys laughed as I overbalanced and I huffed a piece of hair out of my face. Mason came running over and looked down at me with his blue eyes dancing like they always did.

  “You okay?” he chuckled.

  I nodded.

  He held his hands out to me and I let him help me up. He flicked his hair out of his eyes and I couldn’t help but smile at him.

  And, there were no flutters. There was no insatiable urge to divulge unnecessary secrets. I didn’t feel hysterical laughter threatening to embarrass the crap out of me. I didn’t flush awkwardly. I didn’t wonder if what I was doing was right or wrong.

  I was exactly where I needed to be, how I needed to be.

  And, I was pretty sure Mason felt the same.

  “I’m fine, thanks. All but my dignity is still intact.”

  Mason snorted. “Your dignity has never been in question, Piper.”

  I grinned. “Oh, I think it has.”

  Suddenly, his eyes slid behind me and went wide.

  “Shayla sighting?” I asked, trying not to laugh at his panicked look.

  He nodded. “Yeah. She’s just not getting the message.”

  “Maybe she heard we...weren’t seeing each other anymore?” I finished slowly; I was never sure how to phrase it.

  But, Mason smiled at me. “Something like that.”

  “Okay. Well, we could do something cute?” I offered.

  He shook his head. “You’ve already helped me once this week. I can’t keep relying on you.”

  I shrugged. “We’re friends, Mason. What else are friends for?”

  He looked at me dubiously. “For not being used to perpetuate the idea that we’re dating?”

  I shrugged. “Mase, come on. You’re not using me if I offer.” A thought suddenly hit me. “Unless it would be…uncomfortable?”

  He smiled at me. “No. We’re definitely better as friends, Piper.” And, I believed him; he was open and easy-going, his smile reaching those beautiful blue eyes.

  “I don’t know if I should feel insulted or not, Mr Carter!” I chuckled.

  Mason grinned widely, picked me up around the middle and swung me around. “Trust me, Miss Barlow. Friends is way better!”

  I squealed and giggled as he swung me, finally putting me down and I gave him a huge hug.

  “Thanks for being so amazing, friend,” I said.

  “Right back at you, friend,” he replied, giving me one more squeeze before he let me go and we joined back in on the game.

  In what was quite possibly the exact opposite of irony, it seemed Mason Carter was my…Carter…after all.

  h

  I was walking home from the bus on Friday afternoon, listening to my music and feeling pretty good, when a rumble of a car pulled me from my song.

  I looked up to see Roman’s ute coming towards me. He didn’t slow. In fact, I would have bet that he sped up as he got closer. I moved closer to the shoulder of the road and looked down, fully intending to avoid eye contact with him.

  But, my eyes had other plans.

  Before he’d gone past, I looked up quickly and our eyes met for the briefest of seconds.

  Like some corny movie moment, it felt like time slowed and it hit me just what impact that Roman-shaped hole had on my life.

  No more walking home together and him singing me Katy Perry to cheer me up.

  No more Roman raking his hand through his hair as neither of us are sure if he’s just insulted me or complimented me.

  No more of those sarcastic comments.

  No more of him just being honest about thinking I was hot.

  No more of him accepting Piper Barlow had issues.

  No more Roman falling off his board to make me laugh.

  No more watching him skipping stones and realising there was more to him.

  No more being told to stay out of my box.

  No more seeing his expressions of delighted surprise as I let go of that prudish exterior.

  No more watching him with Maddy.

  No more of that uncharacteristic, adorable, uncomfortable shifting where he looked at me through his hair.

  No more teasing each other.

  No more pink beanies.

  No more tension eased just because he was there.

  No more ‘5, 6, 7, 8’.

  No more passion.

  No more protection.

  No more…whatever made us…us.

  My eyes seemed to focus, and Roman’s face was still there. It was hard and I wasn’t sure why that made me feel guilty. Then, he was gone and I was standing alone on the road home as he was moving about as fast away from me as possible.

  I mean, what had I done to feel guilty about really? We’d had a great time together. There’d been a little too much emotion maybe. But honestly, how much emotion can there really have been if he could so easily push me away?

  Roman was the guy who never got too close. He was the guy who never promised more than he could offer. He’d said it on multiple occasions; it was the girls who expected more, expected him to change.

  A part of me, personally, still thought that he could probably have gone about things differently if it kept happening. But, that was beside the point.

  Roman had never promised me more than he could offer and I didn’t want more; I didn’t want grand declarations, I didn’t want a promise of forever, I didn’t want anything more than what he’d given. I just wanted what we’d had. I wanted the brooding, angry, dark parts of him. I wanted the laughing, doting uncle, light parts of him. I wanted all the in-between bits. He’d given me everything I could ever ask for and more without even trying; why did he think that wasn’t enough? Why did he think he wasn’t enough?

  I sighed and kept walking.

  The pain – which felt eerily like rejection – was lessening with time and I was just going to have to accept that Roman had to do things his way.

  “I’m going to accept it. Because that�
�s what we do. We accept each other in the moment. No matter what,” I told myself.

  Doing was going to be easier said than done. Especially when everything in me told me to run after him and hug him until he relented. But, if this was what Roman wanted – if that’s what he needed – then that’s what I was going to do.

  For him.

  “For him.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  The Ideas One Has An Idea.

  Roman was back at school on Monday.

  I passed him getting out of his car as I came in from the bus stop and gave him a smile as he looked up. I watched as he turned to Rio and threw his arm around the shoulder of the girl Rio was with. I’d expected the curt nod brush-off, but I still had to breathe through the impressive kick it gave my stomach. The intense look Rio confused me with helped.

  “For him,” I reminded myself as I headed for my locker.

  “I’ll castrate him if you want?” Hadley fell onto the locker next to mine.

  I gave her a semi-decent smile. “He’s just being him.”

  “You forgive him too much, babes.”

  I shook my head. “No. I just know him. And, I don’t expect him to be anything other than he is.”

  “He’s still hurting you…”

  I huffed a small laugh because I was pretty sure I wasn’t the only one he was hurting. “Is that emotion I hear in Hadley Reynolds’ voice? Sympathy perhaps?”

  She crossed her arms. “Don’t get used to it.” She paused. “I still say we castrate the arsehole.”

  I sighed. “Thanks, Hads. I appreciate it. But, let’s forego the mutilation for now, yeah?”

  “Good morning, lovely ladies!” Mason crowed and I looked up to give him a smile.

  “Good morning!” I answered, my enthusiasm completely sincere.

  He put his arm around me and kissed my temple. “How was our weekend?”

  “Fine, thank you.”

  “We missed you out,” Mason said, hugging me closer. “Well, some of us did. Hadley was a little busy.”

  I looked up at her to see her roll her eyes. “If Tucker wasn’t going to kiss me, I had to kiss him.”