Faded (Faded Duet Book 1)

by Julie Johnson

My arms are sliding around her.

  She’s falling into my chest.

  And then I’m kissing her.

  Kissing her like I’ve wanted to for weeks, like I should’ve done the first fucking time I saw her at The Nightingale. My mouth feasts on hers like a starving man at a banquet, trying to sate the need burning inside my veins.

  There’s no satisfying my craving. It runs too deep, has been denied too long.

  I could fucking devour her.

  Wreck her and ruin her.

  It still wouldn’t be enough.

  My hands slide around to the small of her back, pressing her against me hard enough that I can feel every curve aligned with the planes of my chest. Her hands wind up past my shoulders, into my hair, and she drags my lips down harder, as if she’s equally desperate for me.

  We stand there, intertwined and ravenous, until the buzzing crowd around us blurs out of focus. Until the world shrinks down to this moment. This kiss. All that’s left is her and me, our arms locked around each other so tight it’s hard to breathe.

  But I don’t care about breathing.

  We are drowning in each other, and neither of us is even remotely inclined to come up for air.

  Chapter Fourteen

  felicity

  My lips are a spark, his are gasoline.

  We combust into a burning flame as soon as they brush, on fire in the middle of a screaming crowd of strangers. I’ve never been kissed like this — kissed like I’m something vital to existence, like air or food or shelter. Something he might die without, if he went too long in its absence.

  His hands find my cheeks, sliding back into my curls. His fingers flex to pull me in closer.

  Closer.

  Closer.

  Never close enough.

  Was it only moments ago that I was angry with him?

  Was it just earlier today that I was cursing his name?

  I can’t remember why. All I know is that this, here — his mouth on mine and his hands in my hair — is the purest, most poignant moment of my life. I never want it to end, never want to stop touching him. I want to tear his shirt up over his head and trace each muscle; slide my bare skin against his and create a whole different kind of music, with gasps and sighs and moans instead of beats and notes and melodies.

  When he’s touching me, it’s far too easy to forget we’re standing in the middle of a packed bar, on display for the whole world to see. At least… until the catcalls grow so loud, they’re impossible to ignore.

  Ryder finds the strength to pull back first, tearing his lips away with a pained grunt. His forehead comes down to rest against mine. His breaths are choppy pants of desire. His eyes are so dark with lust, I get lost in their depths for several long seconds before I manage to form words.

  “That song,” I whisper, voice breaking. “I can’t believe you did that song. When I heard it, I thought I was in a dream…”

  “Half-convinced I’m dreaming now.” His words are almost a growl. His hands slide out of my hair, skim down my shoulders and find the small of my back to pull me closer, removing the small sliver of space between us. I gasp at the contact, sparks of lust flickering to life inside me. His erection is hard as steel against my hips. My bones suddenly feel a bit watery.

  “It’s not a dream,” I whisper, staring at his mouth. “A fantasy, maybe. But not a dream.”

  “Felicity.” He drops his forehead against mine again with a low groan. “Come with me.”

  “Where?”

  “Anywhere. Your place. My place.” His eyes are desperate, drinking me in. “It doesn’t matter. I just need… I need…”

  The words cut off sharply as his nostrils flare. He seems to be searching for control, searching for the right words. Even without them, I understand him perfectly.

  I need you.

  To touch you. To taste you. To tangle my limbs with yours until we’re lost in each other.

  I don’t even hesitate.

  “Let’s go.”

  Hands clasped tightly, we start cutting through the crowd toward the exit, more than eager to get out of here. I catch sight of Carly standing with Lincoln and Aiden by the base of the stage as they break down their equipment. All three of them look equally stunned as they watch us walking past. I give a small wave with my free hand; Carly returns it limply. The expression on her face couldn’t be clearer.

  Forget to mention something, Felicity?

  A laugh bubbles up in my throat. I turn my face up to look at Ryder, about to call his attention to our friends, when I feel a set of claws sink into the flesh of my arm. Before I have time to so much as gasp in surprise, I’m yanked away from his side. Our hands lose hold as I go stumbling off balance in my high heels, straight into a cluster of strangers holding beer bottles. Their drinks fall to the ground as they catch me, soaking our feet in a shower of foam and shattered glass.

  Stunned, I manage to right myself as my eyes fly toward Ryder. They go wide as I take in the scene unfolding several feet away.

  “You son of a bitch!” A girl screams in an all too familiar whiney soprano, her hands swiping at his face like claws. “You goddamned son of a bitch!”

  Looks like Lacey has finally shown up for their set.

  Ryder ducks the worst of the blows, holding his hands out to keep her at bay. I’m frozen in place, unable to do anything except watch as Lincoln and Aiden charge toward their deranged lead singer. Carly, close on their heels, gives the fray wide birth and runs to my side.

  “Shit! Are you okay?” she yells, eyes wild as they lock on my arm, where five angry red streaks mar the ivory flesh. “The bitch scratched the shit out of you!”

  I nod vacantly. I couldn’t give two figs about my arm. I’m too busy watching as Lincoln grabs Lacey around the midsection, picks her up like a toddler throwing a tantrum, and hauls her off of Ryder. She flails in his grip, arms and legs kicking out, clawing at empty air. There’s murder in her eyes as she glares daggers across the ever-widening space between her and her lead guitarist.

  I can’t make out whatever she’s yelling over the pounding music coming from the overhead speakers. It’s nothing pretty, judging by the way those nearby are wincing. They part to let Lincoln through as he drags her off the dance floor onto the open-air rooftop patio, Aiden and Ryder running in their wake.

  “Well that was dramatic,” Carly exclaims as they disappear from view. She glances over at me. “Do we follow?”

  I suck in a breath. “I guess… Yeah. We follow.”

  Murmuring an apology to the girls who caught me when I stumbled, I follow Carly out onto the rooftop as dread slowly suffocates the excited butterflies that were swirling in my stomach not even a minute ago.

  Whatever is about to happen…

  I highly doubt it’ll be good.

  Chapter Fifteen

  ryder

  Amazing how fast life can turn on you.

  One minute, you’re holding the girl who sets your fucking soul on fire, the next your eyes are getting clawed out of their sockets. Face still stinging from the assault, I glance to my left to make sure Felicity is okay before charging after Linc, who looks like he’s about two seconds from dropping Lacey. We have to get her crazy ass outside before the bouncers start swarming and throw us all out on the curb.

  We wrestle her onto the rooftop patio like a feral cat. The few couples gathered by the railing quickly clear out, not wanting to get involved in our drama. I don’t blame them — the way Lacey is hissing and spitting, she looks like she’s got a highly contagious case of rabies.

  “You motherfucker!” she screams at me for the tenth time.

  She really needs to broaden her range of insults.

  “What the hell is going on?” Lincoln yells, struggling to keep hold of Lacey. I watch him wince as her claws find purchase in his forearm. “Ow! Bitch!”

  “You could’ve ruined everything! Everything!” Lacey screams at me. Her legs windmill the air as she snarls, rhinestone cowboy boots flashing li
ke a strobe. “You’re damn lucky I smoothed things over for us!”

  Aiden is hovering at my side, tense as a bowstring, silent as a grave.

  “Get off me, Lincoln!” Lacey screams, still flailing. “Put me down!”

  “Gladly, once you get a hold of yourself. You’re acting absolutely fucking crazy!”

  “Me, crazy?” she seethes, finally going limp. “I’m not the crazy one. If anyone here is crazy, it’s him.”

  Lincoln looks at me. “Any idea what the hell she’s talking about?”

  “Oh, he knows,” she spits, breathing hard. “He knows exactly what he did.”

  I cross my arms over my chest, fists clenched tightly as I watch her. She seems to be calming down, though I’m not about to trust her anywhere near my eyes in the foreseeable future. Linc loosens his hold so her feet are back on solid ground, but keeps his arms around her abdomen in case she dives for me again.

  “Is this because he was kissing that Nightingale waitress? ‘Cause, I know you two hooked up a while back but…” Lincoln shrugs. “Not to call a spade a spade, you aren’t exactly the paradigm of virtue yourself, Lacey.”

  “You think I’m jealous he was kissing some little bar mouse?” She throws her head back and cackles. “That’s rich.”

  Aiden’s eyes are swinging back and forth between her face and mine. I can almost see his mind spinning as he tries to put the pieces together. I feel lower than dog shit on the bottom of a shoe.

  “If we aren’t dealing with a Yoko Ono situation here, what the hell is this?” Lincoln is sounding increasingly frustrated with each passing second. “I mean, you just show up here — after totally blowing off the most important gig we’ve ever played, by the way — and go rabid on Ryder. Always knew you were a bit off the rails, but this is beyond the pale, even for you…”

  There’s a dangerous glint in her eyes. “I guess the fact that you’re still defending him means he hasn’t told you.”

  “Told us what?” Aiden asks lowly.

  “Lacey—” I warn.

  She laughs again, reveling in the drama. “Oh? You don’t want me to tell them?”

  “This isn’t the time or the place,” I snap.

  “No, I think I want to hear this,” Lincoln says, dropping his hold on Lacey and stepping to her side, his eyes narrowing on mine. “What the hell is she talking about, Ryder?”

  I’m silent as all three of them turn to face me.

  “Lacey is just stirring up shit.” My throat works, swallowing the lump of regret stuck there, blocking my airway. “Nothing is set in stone yet, so I was waiting to tell you—”

  “Waiting till the last minute. How brave,” Lacey sneers. “Did you honestly think you could just cut me out and I wouldn’t care? That you could do this gig without me, sing my goddamn songs, and I wouldn’t find out?” Her voice goes up an octave. “Did you seriously believe you could call Clay and try to renegotiate the terms behind my fucking back?!”

  “Yes,” I growl. “I did call him. I’ve been trying to fix the mess you made by agreeing to all kinds of shit you had no business agreeing to alone!”

  “What’s left to discuss? They are dead-freaking-weight. I know it, Clay knows it, hell, I bet even they know it!” Her hands flail out at Linc and Aiden. “The only person who can’t seem to accept it is you, Ryder!”

  If she were a man, I’d have hit her by now. As it is, I simply lock my jaw and clench my fists at my sides, trying to contain my rage.

  “What the fuck is happening here, man?” Linc’s voice is deadly serious. “What exactly have you been negotiating?”

  Aiden’s eyes cut right through me. “Just tell us.”

  “Can’t do it, can you?” Lacey sounds like a teasing girl on a middle school playground, eviscerating an enemy in between giggles. She advances a step toward me, eyes never wavering from my face. “Don’t you think they have a right to know this was the last gig you guys will ever play together?”

  “What?” Lincoln growls.

  Aiden curses.

  Lacey takes another step. “Don’t you want to share our good news about the record deal?”

  The air goes totally still.

  I glance at Lincoln and see sheer disbelief on his face. Aiden looks less surprised, but equally grim.

  I pull in a sharp breath. When I finally manage to force out the words, they’re stripped of all emotion. “After our last set at the Nightingale, that guy from Red Machine approached us. He offered to fly us out to LA and perform at a showcase. If it goes well, there’s a deal on the table. All we have to do is sign the dotted line.”

  “That’s fucking great!” Lincoln explodes. “Why would that be a bad thing—”

  “There’s more,” Aiden guesses.

  I nod. “The deal… it’s only for me and Lacey. They said they won’t sign us if you guys are onboard.”

  Linc’s eyes lock on mine. “And what did they say when you told them to go straight to hell?”

  My jaw locks. The tension is so thick, it’s hard to breathe.

  Lacey’s tinkling laugh feels like glass against my eardrums. “Oh, boys. You and your perverted sense of loyalty.” She shakes her head mockingly. “This is everything Ryder has ever wanted. Why on earth would he tell the man handing him the keys to the kingdom to go to hell?”

  “No,” Linc says flatly. “I don’t believe it.”

  “Believe it,” Lacey volleys back. “Because we’ll be gone by this time tomorrow.”

  Lincoln advances on me. “Tell me she’s lying, Ry.”

  I grit my teeth. “She’s not lying.”

  There’s one, single beat of absolute silence before he launches himself at me.

  “You fucking prick!” he roars, red in the face. “You selfish fucking asshole!”

  I don’t even try to duck the blow. I let him wail on me — one, two, three punches to the face. My eyes explode with stars. My lip splits, sending blood trickling down my chin.

  “Fight me, you fucking coward!” Linc screams. His knuckles are bloody. “Don’t just stand there!”

  I don’t fight back. I don’t even lift my hands to defend myself.

  I deserve every goddamned punch.

  My nose crunches sickeningly. A zing of metal hits my tongue as blood floods my mouth.

  I hear a heartrending feminine cry as I stagger, the world spinning around me, pain vibrating through every nerve ending. I turn my head and wince when I see Felicity standing with the rest of the crowd that’s gathered to watch the brawl. Her eyes are wide with horror, her face white and bloodless.

  I would’ve given almost anything in the world to prevent her from seeing this.

  I open my mouth to call out to her, tasting copper and regret on my tongue. I quickly realize there’s nothing to say. I can’t fight for her anymore than I can fight with Lincoln.

  I don’t deserve her. I never did.

  Drawn by the promise of blood and drama, people are pouring out onto the roof, pushing and shoving to get closer. The bouncers will be here in a moment to break up the throng, and likely the cops as well.

  “Carly, get her out of here,” I shout, looking away. “Before it gets any uglier.”

  I hear a muffled argument — one fighting to leave, the other fighting to stay — but don’t allow myself to look back. Carly will take care of her. And frankly, I’d rather deal with Lincoln’s wild rage than the fucking heartbreak of watching Felicity walk away from me for the last time.

  “So you can screw me over but you can’t hit me like a man?” Lincoln is up in my face. “Come on! If you’re gonna fuck me over, I might as well see it coming!”

  “I’m not going to fight you, Linc.” Blood falls like raindrops from the tip of my nose. I’m completely sober, but my words are slurred when they come out of my mouth — probably from my split lip and spinning head. “I’d kick my own ass if I thought it would fix this.”

  “There’s no fixing this,” he seethes, lifting his fist again.

  Aiden
holds him back with a steely grip on his bicep. “That’s enough, Linc.”

  They both stare at me. I’m sure my face looks like pulverized steak, swollen and raw. I vaguely notice Lacey has vanished, always one to save her own skin when the fists start flying.

  “You and me?” Linc spits. “We’re finished. Done. If you’re looking for your shit from the loft, you can find it in the dumpster outside. Have a nice life.”

  He turns and stalks out.

  Aiden pauses for a beat before following him. His eyes are sad. “If it’s any consolation… I know why you did it, man. I just don’t know how you’re going to live with it.”

  Then, they’re both gone.

  I stand alone, bleeding and broken.

  No family. No friends. No Felicity.

  Only my dreams for comfort.

  Funny how empty they feel, when there’s no one to share them with.

  Chapter Sixteen

  felicity

  I sit in my dark bedroom, chewing my bottom lip.

  It’s late. I can hear Adam, Isaac, and Jay closing up the bar downstairs, ushering people our the door. Their laughter only highlights the misery consuming me.

  How quickly things shifted from love and light and music to blood and darkness and mayhem.

  Carly walked me home from Tootsie’s, her hand clasped tight around mine. She kept up a constant stream of one-sided conversation as she buoyed me along, but I couldn’t for the life of me tell you a single word she said. I was lost in my thoughts, replaying the look on Ryder’s face when he glanced up, blood dripping from his mouth, and spotted me in the crowd. I saw an irrefutable goodbye in his eyes as they locked on mine.

  Get her out of here, Carly.

  I fought. I tried to stay. But Carly dragged me like a woman possessed. On our way to the door, we passed several bouncers, all running full-tilt toward the roof with grim expressions. Two uniformed police officers were close on their heels.

  For all I know, Ryder could be in jail. Or, if Lincoln got his way, worse.